Dodged a bullett

[John & Rose 7,237]

4 hours ago, debbiedoo said:

Could the charges have resulted in a K1 denial. Maybe but probably not. Should he have been honest, absolutely.

That is the problem.  If he answers "no" to the question he could be denied for failing to disclose information.  The arrests themselves would probably not cause a denial on their own if he were honest.  It could delay things by sending them to Vermont.

 

Honesty is the only way to get through this process properly.  They will already know about his arrests so they will want to see him being honest.

[Going through 5,668]

I'd also add....you should ask him to officially withdraw the K-1 petition, in case you do end up falling inlove with someone from the US again.

[mrmvkjts 459]

I get it! you‘re hurt and upset which is understandable when you plan your future wirh someone who is lying to you..honesty is key to a relationship...especially thruout this process...

but wanting to have revenge and report him to the IRS I think is just very childish.

Move on snd find your happiness in a different way. If he is as bad as you think he is karma will probably get him...or not..

but definitely move on

Edited November 12, 2018 by mrmvkjts

[bakphx1 785]

I disagree to an extent with other posters.  Having trusted people and offered a helping hand, I found that the criminal element is often that way by nature.  When someone is charged for such a serious crime, unless they’re extraordinarily unlucky, they weren’t caught on the first crime they committed.  Also, they tend to not know another life or have another social circle.  So they get right back into it.

 

I know some people do turn their lives around.  But I generally don’t buy the idea of a drug manufacturer with a heart of gold.  I wouldn’t put any faith in him having repented if he lied to you about it.  People in the drug business tend tend to lie a lot.  Part of turning your life around is taking responsibility for your actions.  If he won’t tell his fiancée, he’s not taking responsibility for it. You also can’t have any idea of what else he’s lying about, details big or small.

 

You could read him the riot act, but it probably would do as much good as telling a wall.

[mushroomspore 3,043]

6 hours ago, Misstiq said:

Hi everyone

 

Just wanted to share my news as I just discovered my fiancee lied to me with the k1 and did not disclose he had 3 drug charges against him. We applied back in the summer and I explained the steps required. After sending the application in he tells me he has not filed his taxes in 3 years! I said that is tax evading and he better file taxes asap and straighten out that mess. 

Now the drug charges, his lie is it happened 20 years ago and was a charge of selling a joint to an undercover cop. I was able to do some investigating and found out it was 3 charges of manufacturing to distribute and was just 7 years ago, which is a very serious offence . I have not confronted him with the drug charges information i recently recieved. In the meantime I have left his sorry ###. I know there was no way the k1 would have been approved. How did this moron think he was going to hide that from me. He led me on the whole time and would say let's deal with that when time comes lol. I am just grateful I found out now what a pos he is and saved myself from a huge mistake.

Should I confront him with proof of his charges and give him an opportunity to explain?  He tells everyone this lie including his so called friends. Also report him to IRS for taxes?

 

Yes, props to you for dodging a bullet but move on with your life and forget the guy. You know what happens when you corner animals and threaten them? Their survival instincts kick in and they try to fight back. There's no way of knowing how he would react in a confrontation...a man who has 3 drug charges of manufacturing to distribute. Who knows what else he has done that the police did not know about and charge him for? If he did not engage in violence during his illegal business, he most likely witnessed some at least. You see what I'm saying? Do yourself a favor and just move on.

Edited November 12, 2018 by mushroomspore

[Calicolom 265]

6 hours ago, Misstiq said:

Hi everyone

 

Just wanted to share my news as I just discovered my fiancee lied to me with the k1 and did not disclose he had 3 drug charges against him. We applied back in the summer and I explained the steps required. After sending the application in he tells me he has not filed his taxes in 3 years! I said that is tax evading and he better file taxes asap and straighten out that mess. 

Now the drug charges, his lie is it happened 20 years ago and was a charge of selling a joint to an undercover cop. I was able to do some investigating and found out it was 3 charges of manufacturing to distribute and was just 7 years ago, which is a very serious offence . I have not confronted him with the drug charges information i recently recieved. In the meantime I have left his sorry ###. I know there was no way the k1 would have been approved. How did this moron think he was going to hide that from me. He led me on the whole time and would say let's deal with that when time comes lol. I am just grateful I found out now what a pos he is and saved myself from a huge mistake.

Should I confront him with proof of his charges and give him an opportunity to explain?  He tells everyone this lie including his so called friends. Also report him to IRS for taxes?

 

Sure turn him in to the IRS, but you should know you will be audited also. Otherwise all the IRS would do, is investigate people. This stops this. 

[Calicolom 265]

6 hours ago, debbiedoo said:

The IRS will catch on to him, if he owes taxes (if he doesnt, they wont care, if he does, they will get the $ eventually). They probably wouldnt pay much mind to a mad ex foreign fiance, anyways. Don't be trite.

 

The charges you found may or may not be what his actual convictions were. Was he honest, no, it seems not, but online searches rarely tell the whole story. 7 years ago or 20, both are long in the past. Well before he met you. People make mistakes. What is important is that he learned from them, and grew from them. That is the measure of a good person. He was probably embarrassed and ashamed. I was when I told my fiance about my record, and it was nothing like that, and not indicative of the type of person I am or what I was going through at the time.

 

To me, the biggest issue is that you felt the need to go behind his back and snoop on him. That is a huge indicator of trust, or lack thereof.

 

Could the charges have resulted in a K1 denial. Maybe but probably not. Should he have been honest, absolutely.

 

If you dont want to marry him, please do not. But dont write off everything when you dont know the whole story. And stop snooping. if you want to know something, ASK. obviously something happened that made you feel the need to snoop.

All she did is protect herself, I give her credit. If more people would do this, there would be less disappointments.

[Rich817! 16]

call Dr. Phil

[Joyoussinger 1,410]

I agree that you did the right thing in investigating his past. What else could you do when you are about to commit to spending your life and giving your heart to someone? I'm so sorry it turned out this way and I hope you can get on with your life and be happy. I would leave the IRS issue alone.  I do have something else to caution you about, and I'm sure you haven't thought of it. If he was manufacturing and dealing drugs, and you haven't been specific about what they are - and I'm not asking, he was probably using them, too. Maybe you should be tested for Hep C and HIV. I know you're talking about something pretty far in the past, but that doesn't matter. This is a safety issue.  I'm not trying to alarm you, and maybe the chance is low that you've been infected, but it's not impossible. I'm speaking from experience here. Take care of yourself.

Edited November 12, 2018 by Joyoussinger

[ThomasNC1988 762]

That is quite the serious immigration issue you have there.... wait a second.

[kris&me 572]

1 hour ago, Calicolom said:

Sure turn him in to the IRS, but you should know you will be audited also. Otherwise all the IRS would do, is investigate people. This stops this. 

he is suppose to do taxes according to her / that makes him the USC

IRS in USA would not audit a foreigner

 

as for him doing taxes,  could be his income is not quite legal

[Carpe Vinum 2,310]

3 hours ago, John & Rose said:

That is the problem.  If he answers "no" to the question he could be denied for failing to disclose information.  The arrests themselves would probably not cause a denial on their own if he were honest.  It could delay things by sending them to Vermont.

 

Honesty is the only way to get through this process properly.  They will already know about his arrests so they will want to see him being honest.

Actually if it went to Vermont it might get processes faster))))

[<3T&M<3 217]

6 hours ago, Going through said:

 

 

You've already ended the relationship---in my opinion, no need to confront him about anything---he's part of your past life now.  Unless you're still holding a candle for him, and there's a possibility of continuing the relationship should his explanation be sufficient enough for you, there's really nothing to be gained by him fessing up to you.

 

On an aside---Personally, I can relate to him not being open with you about his past charges.  I have a criminal history and have never told my parents, family or friends about it, because frankly it's none of their business and it's also something I'm not proud about.  My now-husband only found out because I was forced to tell him about it before filing for my AOS, for obvious reasons.  Otherwise, I will be perfectly honest in saying I would have never told him either.

 

 

I am in the same boat as you. I was forced to disclose something that is irrelevant in my today life. It was a stupid charge from 11 years ago. The court has no record of it anymore but I had to push push push for the right department to search closed records... took a while. I did it. I got the d*mn paperwork and I sent it along with my petition. I did not tell my fiance until literally the week before the interview. I knew it wouldn't change his feelings about me. But I was very ashamed. I knew I had to pipe up, but it took me a while to gain the courage.

 

OP: It sucks... I count myself as one of the most honest people I know, and that is no exaggeration. Even I found it very difficult to sludge around in my stupid past and tell my new love about it. Fear is a very very strong thing. Fear of losing the one you love can make a stable and honest person do things they'd never think about.

 

I feel bad for your situation. I'm sorry, truly. I agree, though... the trust is broken and may be irreparable unless you were to do a LOT of internal work... it sucks that the tough job would be on you. I've been there. It is nearly impossible.

 

Best,

Tina

Edited November 12, 2018 by <3T&M<3

[John & Rose 7,237]

Just now, boris64 said:

Actually if it went to Vermont it might get processes faster))))

The thought was they already waited this long.  You are probably right, Vermont may be a good thing now.

[ioxtremod 23]

I think the lying part it's what will strike me. You can minimize things, but like others said 3 charges of manufacturing drugs seem like a lot. Trust your guts, if it says run, run.