Dodged a bullett

[Misstiq 5]

Hi everyone

 

Just wanted to share my news as I just discovered my fiancee lied to me with the k1 and did not disclose he had 3 drug charges against him. We applied back in the summer and I explained the steps required. After sending the application in he tells me he has not filed his taxes in 3 years! I said that is tax evading and he better file taxes asap and straighten out that mess. 

Now the drug charges, his lie is it happened 20 years ago and was a charge of selling a joint to an undercover cop. I was able to do some investigating and found out it was 3 charges of manufacturing to distribute and was just 7 years ago, which is a very serious offence . I have not confronted him with the drug charges information i recently recieved. In the meantime I have left his sorry ###. I know there was no way the k1 would have been approved. How did this moron think he was going to hide that from me. He led me on the whole time and would say let's deal with that when time comes lol. I am just grateful I found out now what a pos he is and saved myself from a huge mistake.

Should I confront him with proof of his charges and give him an opportunity to explain?  He tells everyone this lie including his so called friends. Also report him to IRS for taxes?

 

[Roel 7,192]

Yeah, well lying is bad obviously, but everyone makes mistakes. And honestly weed charges aren't too horrible, imo I've seen much worse. Especially since it happened years ago and I guess the guy isn't dealing with that stuff anymore. Not to mention, what you found online on his records is probably not the whole story. Of course, I'm not defending him, everyone make mistakes but if he was able to leave that life behind, good for him. It would be worse if you'd find one that he's STILL dealing weed.

 

You know what I think it's worse? That you snooped behind his back - "investigate" him? And also that you're planning on some petty revenge by reporting him to the IRS?

 

Girl, move on. Don't be a B.

[debbiedoo 2,339]

The IRS will catch on to him, if he owes taxes (if he doesnt, they wont care, if he does, they will get the $ eventually). They probably wouldnt pay much mind to a mad ex foreign fiance, anyways. Don't be trite.

 

The charges you found may or may not be what his actual convictions were. Was he honest, no, it seems not, but online searches rarely tell the whole story. 7 years ago or 20, both are long in the past. Well before he met you. People make mistakes. What is important is that he learned from them, and grew from them. That is the measure of a good person. He was probably embarrassed and ashamed. I was when I told my fiance about my record, and it was nothing like that, and not indicative of the type of person I am or what I was going through at the time.

 

To me, the biggest issue is that you felt the need to go behind his back and snoop on him. That is a huge indicator of trust, or lack thereof.

 

Could the charges have resulted in a K1 denial. Maybe but probably not. Should he have been honest, absolutely.

 

If you dont want to marry him, please do not. But dont write off everything when you dont know the whole story. And stop snooping. if you want to know something, ASK. obviously something happened that made you feel the need to snoop.

[Unlockable 7,315]

*** Moved for K-1 Fiance(e) Visa Process & Procedures to "Effects of Major Family Changes on Immigration Benefits" ***

[Misstiq 5]

It was not a simple weed charge as he is claiming. I did ask him directly about his charges and gave him lots of opportunities to be honest. He was not, so it gave me red flags to not trust him yes. So he lied on the k1 application and even put no to have you ever been arrested, uscis will find out and runs a background check to protect both parties. Onus is on him to explain his lies but you do not see a trend here?! I can't believe you are siding with him.

Yes people change and leave that life behind but if you cannot be honest rite from the start with someone you are planning on starting a life with what else are you hiding?

[Crazy Cat 41,981]

Seek your own happiness.....

[debbiedoo 2,339]

2 minutes ago, Misstiq said:

It was not a simple weed charge as he is claiming. I did ask him directly about his charges and gave him lots of opportunities to be honest. He was not, so it gave me red flags to not trust him yes. So he lied on the k1 application and even put no to have you ever been arrested, uscis will find out and runs a background check to protect both parties. Onus is on him to explain his lies but you do not see a trend here?! I can't believe you are siding with him.

Yes people change and leave that life behind but if you cannot be honest rite from the start with someone you are planning on starting a life with what else are you hiding?

no one is siding with him.

 

honesty and truthfulness is a big deal. And him lying on the petition is a reason for an RFE at a minimum. Why he thought he could get away with that, is beyond me.

 

Regardless, this is something you NEED to DISCUSS with him. Otherwise you will never have any closure.

[Crazy Cat 41,981]

Honesty is the foundation of any relationship....I doubt you will ever trust him again.........move on......just my opinion

[Misstiq 5]

1 minute ago, missileman said:

Honesty is the foundation of any relationship....I doubt you will ever trust him again.........move on......just my opinion

Exactly!

[kris&me 572]

Frankly i would have checked it out also

usually when arrested the attorney gets the person to plea for a lesser charge and the big one is dropped

 

As for taxes forget it

not necessary to hurt someone 

and telling u he did not file could also be a lie

 

 I would just drop him and move on

Edited November 12, 2018 by kris&me

[Going through 5,671]

1 hour ago, Misstiq said:

Should I confront him with proof of his charges and give him an opportunity to explain?

 

1 hour ago, Misstiq said:

In the meantime I have left his sorry ###.

 

You've already ended the relationship---in my opinion, no need to confront him about anything---he's part of your past life now.  Unless you're still holding a candle for him, and there's a possibility of continuing the relationship should his explanation be sufficient enough for you, there's really nothing to be gained by him fessing up to you.

 

On an aside---Personally, I can relate to him not being open with you about his past charges.  I have a criminal history and have never told my parents, family or friends about it, because frankly it's none of their business and it's also something I'm not proud about.  My now-husband only found out because I was forced to tell him about it before filing for my AOS, for obvious reasons.  Otherwise, I will be perfectly honest in saying I would have never told him either.

 

 

[Unlockable 7,315]

I agree with others that you should move on and not waste energy reporting him. But I personally think you should confront him about it. If you were able to find out about these charges, how does he think the government will not find out? Also, by you not telling him you found out (withholding pertinent information about your actions), you're kinda doing the same thing he did, but at a lower level of course.

Edited November 13, 2018 by NuestraUnion

[andy78 178]

Good thing that you investigated him. It shows you are not an idiot. What smart person doesn't do their research about the person they are supposed to spend their life with, especially when dealing with someone who hasn't been honest about to you and on their application. Now you can make an informed decision.

[CheeseMonstah 87]

1 hour ago, Misstiq said:

Hi everyone

 

Just wanted to share my news as I just discovered my fiancee lied to me with the k1 and did not disclose he had 3 drug charges against him. We applied back in the summer and I explained the steps required. After sending the application in he tells me he has not filed his taxes in 3 years! I said that is tax evading and he better file taxes asap and straighten out that mess. 

Now the drug charges, his lie is it happened 20 years ago and was a charge of selling a joint to an undercover cop. I was able to do some investigating and found out it was 3 charges of manufacturing to distribute and was just 7 years ago, which is a very serious offence . I have not confronted him with the drug charges information i recently recieved. In the meantime I have left his sorry ###. I know there was no way the k1 would have been approved. How did this moron think he was going to hide that from me. He led me on the whole time and would say let's deal with that when time comes lol. I am just grateful I found out now what a pos he is and saved myself from a huge mistake.

Should I confront him with proof of his charges and give him an opportunity to explain?  He tells everyone this lie including his so called friends. Also report him to IRS for taxes?

 

My advice: move on with your life. Sorry all of this happened, but you'll be happier if you just let it go and focus on you.

[NYCruiser 423]

1 hour ago, Misstiq said:

It was not a simple weed charge as he is claiming. I did ask him directly about his charges and gave him lots of opportunities to be honest. He was not, so it gave me red flags to not trust him yes. So he lied on the k1 application and even put no to have you ever been arrested, uscis will find out and runs a background check to protect both parties. Onus is on him to explain his lies but you do not see a trend here?! I can't believe you are siding with him.

Yes people change and leave that life behind but if you cannot be honest rite from the start with someone you are planning on starting a life with what else are you hiding?

You did the right thing. Don't listen to these people on here telling you otherwise. This is one lie..what others are there especially when you asked him a direct question (The USCIS asks a direct question). 

Best thing is move on..(easier said than don sometimes).

 

David