She cheated / want to withdraw case / will she find out?

[Sad K1 Man 4]

U.S. Citizen here, met a girl and fell in love. Thought she's the one, submitted 129F application, found out through friends and family that she's been seen with another man, I have real proof. I want to withdraw the case, I have only received NOA1, it was submitted in March of 2022. She has the case #, will she find out that I withdrew the case? I feel very used and stupid, this is my only way of getting back at her,  I haven't confronted her yet...

[milimelo 4,205]

Write a withdrawal letter to the address where your NOA1 came from. You’ll get some communication from USCIS that case has been withdrawn months down the line. She finds out she finds out. 
 

Hopefully you’ll be man enough to tell her you’re withdrawing the case due to her infidelity. 

[Redro 4,600]

15 minutes ago, Sad K1 Man said:

U.S. Citizen here, met a girl and fell in love. Thought she's the one, submitted 129F application, found out through friends and family that she's been seen with another man, I have real proof. I want to withdraw the case, I have only received NOA1, it was submitted in March of 2022. She has the case #, will she find out that I withdrew the case? I feel very used and stupid, this is my only way of getting back at her,  I haven't confronted her yet...

Withdraw the case. 

Reach out to her and end the relationship. 

Be happy you found out now and not once she arrived in the US on K1. 

 

[Sad K1 Man 4]

I understand what the right approach is, but she lied to me and told me that she loves me, we met and had a great time. She needs a taste of her own medicine and I want to see how long she'll keep on lying to me. I'm withdrawing the case tomorrow, if she logs on to the check status page, what will the report show? Now it shows, case has been received. Will it show withdrawn or no record?

 

[Dashinka 23,246]

It sounds like you want to seek some revenge.  It is probably better to simply withdraw the I129F, and move on. Revenge may seem like some level of satisfaction on your part, but it will be empty, so better to use your energy elsewhere.

 

Good Luck!

[Redro 4,600]

13 minutes ago, Sad K1 Man said:

I understand what the right approach is, but she lied to me and told me that she loves me, we met and had a great time. She needs a taste of her own medicine and I want to see how long she'll keep on lying to me. I'm withdrawing the case tomorrow, if she logs on to the check status page, what will the report show? Now it shows, case has been received. Will it show withdrawn or no record?

 

She won't know for a very long time. 

Maybe 3-4 months if that. .. maybe longer. 

You should withdraw the application and move on. 

Do not waste anymore time or energy on this person. 

 

See this post for timeline of K1 withdrawal (2 months) 

This couple withdrew because they got married.

But, same procedure. 

 

 

Edited May 20, 2022 by ROK2USA

[Dil & Malar 91]

2 hours ago, ROK2USA said:

She won't know for a very long time. 

Maybe 3-4 months if that. .. maybe longer. 

You should withdraw the application and move on. 

Do not waste anymore time or energy on this person. 

 

See this post for timeline of K1 withdrawal (2 months) 

This couple withdrew because they got married.

But, same procedure. 

 

 

Just write a letter (with the receipt number mentioned) to withdraw the I-129F.  Attach the receipt notice for reference.  There is no form to with draw it is just a letter.. send it to california service center you may see it in receipt notice.

 

[Rocio0010 5,565]

Just send a letter to withdraw, with the case number. 

But also, it seems you're seeking revenge by not telling her. You're upset and that's totally understandable, but keep in mind that, unless you are brutally honest with her, she's going to keep going as if nothing ever happened. Then she'll find out, and that ensures more drama. Talk to her, withdraw, move on.

[Family 3,483]

8 hours ago, Sad K1 Man said:

I understand what the right approach is, but she lied to me and told me that she loves me, we met and had a great time. She needs a taste of her own medicine and I want to see how long she'll keep on lying to me. I'm withdrawing the case tomorrow, if she logs on to the check status page, what will the report show? Now it shows, case has been received. Will it show withdrawn or no record?

You are emotional , hurt but nonetheless eager to strategize the revenge ( withdrawal before telling her, hoping to string her along so you can determine how long she will keep lying)….and you may not be sure IF you want to end it or are hoping she will learn her lesson.

 

In an ideal world, you could simply confront her alleged infidelity and if you cannot forgive, trust and work at repairing, then you TELL HER upfront, withdraw and move on. 

[Gomast 65]

I don’t think there is a reason to confront her. Most likely she will deny the infidelity or she will try to justify her actions.
Revenge might give you a temporary satisfaction, but it’s not going to make you feel better in the long run. You’ll always remember what she did to you. Just move on with your life and find someone honest and trustworthy. 

[JeanneAdil 6,201]

withdrawal of petition is revenge enough

send the letter to cancel

send her a message to say u did 

then block her on all social media 

forget this person  and move on

she broke your heart  / don't let her break your spirit too

 

don't waste anymore of your time and money on a cheater 

[Timona 3,941]

Good you found out before she got to US, used you, dumped you for the other guy or just got to airport and vanished with the other guy as we've seen happen here before. 

Edited May 20, 2022 by Timona

[Holly&Andreas 38]

10 hours ago, Sad K1 Man said:

U.S. Citizen here, met a girl and fell in love. Thought she's the one, submitted 129F application, found out through friends and family that she's been seen with another man, I have real proof. I want to withdraw the case, I have only received NOA1, it was submitted in March of 2022. She has the case #, will she find out that I withdrew the case? I feel very used and stupid, this is my only way of getting back at her,  I haven't confronted her yet...

Just because she's been "seen" with another man doesn't necessarily mean she's cheating on you. Is it possible it's just a platonic friendship? I have a male roommate and my husband gets jealous from time to time, but there is no chemistry between my roommate and I at all. My husband spends a lot of time with a female coworker and I also get jealous, but we talk about it and I trust him and believe him when he tells me there's nothing going on there. Unless the proof you have is kissing/canoodling/caught in an obviously compromising position, I'd take a step back and look at it objectively, without the green jealousy goggles clouding your judgement. 

 

Maybe talk to her first, or find out who this other man is to her before you do something irreversible like withdrawing your petition. Communication is key in any relationship, but especially long distance relationships, and decisions made in anger are rarely the right decision. 

[Nikita2Charles 31]

You are upset and hurt that's normal when it comes to matter of the heart. Just consider yourself lucky, look at it as a blessing that you are finding out now rather than later. Most marriage that last is because both people love and respect each other, there was no Fake, No pretense, what you see is what you get. I've been down that road my friend, the more you keep it inside, the more it will hurt you. Let her know that you found out what she's been doing, she's going to probably denies it, then move on. But make sure the info that you get is 99% true, not some bad info from someone who may not like her.

[Sarge2155 4,570]

14 hours ago, Sad K1 Man said:

U.S. Citizen here, met a girl and fell in love. Thought she's the one, submitted 129F application, found out through friends and family that she's been seen with another man, I have real proof. I want to withdraw the case, I have only received NOA1, it was submitted in March of 2022. She has the case #, will she find out that I withdrew the case? I feel very used and stupid, this is my only way of getting back at her,  I haven't confronted her yet...

Why would you not want her to find out about the withdrawal? If she in fact did cheat then she should be told by you that you are withdrawing the case. If there is another reason you are withdrawing the case then you should be upfront and tell that too. You are free to withdraw the case as you see fit and really no reason is needed only you want to withdraw it. Be grown up enough to tell her the real deal whatever it may be! Wouldn't you like to be told if the shoe was on the other foot?