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laylalex

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laylalex last won the day on February 15 2021

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About laylalex

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    Mistress of Memes (apparently)
  • Birthday 05/15/1985
  • Member # 329582
  • Location Santa Monica, CA, USA

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    Female
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    Santa Monica
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    California

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    Adjustment of Status (approved)
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    Chicago Lockbox
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    Los Angeles CA
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  1. It matters because people will die as a result of this bill, if it is passed. There are many reports of doctors in states that already have strong restrictions on abortion turning away women who are actively but incompletely miscarrying because the doctors are afraid that they will be accused of violating the law by performing a D&C, which is the correct procedure. But it could look like performing an abortion after whatever the state's time limit is. If the miscarriage is incomplete, there is a real danger that a woman may suffer from sepsis unless a D&C is performed. Miscarriage is terrifying enough. I cannot imagine being turned away when my first husband and I rushed to the emergency room. I didn't know what was going to happen to me and I was terrified and beside myself with sorrow, as well the pain I suffered as it was happening. I didn't have to worry about getting the care I needed -- it never even entered my mind. But why should I have the right to medically appropriate care when my sisters in Oklahoma do not? I'm mentioning incomplete miscarriages here not to exclude women who just want to dictate their own family planning decisions. They too need to be able to receive the healthcare their doctors believe is medically appropriate. This law is forcing doctors to make decisions that violate their ethics and ignore the health of their patients. It is wrong. I am NOT okay with the government telling me (like Governor Stitt has) that God has a "special plan" for me. I am a non-believer. I respect people's right to their religious beliefs but I do NOT respect them legislating those beliefs upon me and my body for non-medical reasons. It is also important to point out that when Governor Stitt was asked about what the state will do to support families now that there are going to be more children being born into financially/socially precarious environments, he dodged the question. What is the conclusion to be drawn here? How is this truly pro-life if there is no thought or action given to the real, live children who will be born as a result of this law? If you are a poor woman who wants to limit the size of her family for financial reasons, going to another state for a few days to take advantage of women's healthcare is a pipe dream. Who's going to take care of your kids while you're away? How can you afford to take time off of work? How will you pay for your travel costs, especially in a time of inflation? Will your job be there for you when you get back? Women like me who can afford to take time off work and travel will be inconvenienced but will receive the healthcare they need. The biggest harm will be having to leave their local communities, which they might not want to do. It is the people who are already most at risk of failing who will be failed by this bill. We can disagree about these matters on a philosophical level but this law will lead to real harm. Even if we put to one side the women who will be negatively affected, this will also affect the ability of Oklahoma companies, colleges and universities to attract workers and students, and may lead to a loss of people who do not want to work in a health-restrictive state. This affects state income, which in turn leads to all sorts of worse outcomes for residents. This is neither a fiscally nor a medically prudent bill. Sorry to rant here. I know it's a lot. I haven't been posting a lot on this in here recently because this is very real to me, and I have been where these women will be, but I had the right to handle my healthcare as I saw fit. To blithely say, well, they can always leave, is to ignore the reality of how very hard that can be for many people.
  2. What does a "normal" relationship look like anyway? You guys sound like you've talked it through and know you want to be married at some point. You're from a low-fraud country, and if you get all your paperwork (especially the I-864) in a row, it should be very straightforward. You rarely see issues with people going through London unless there are big red flags. Being a bit of an odd duck really isn't a red flag to the consulate. Now, away from the USCIS stuff, Layla is going to go mother hen here. (Sorry!) I have to say you guys are on the young side, especially your fiancée. Getting married is one of the most adult decisions you can make -- marriage isn't just about love and attraction and all the cool stuff that you enjoy talking about. I was about your age, OP, when I got married for the first time and I know how amazing it is to be very young and very, very in love. (Being older and in love is awesome too, but it's more like sipping on mellow wine than tipping back fizzing glasses of champagne.) But there are a lot more challenges when you marry young. Both of you may very well not be the same people in five years, and unless you really put in the work to build a strong foundation early on you might find things aren't how you expected them to be forever. This isn't to be pessimistic. As I said, being very young and very in love is quite simply amazing, and people can and do make such relationships go the distance. My own parents met when they were 19 and got married three years later; this year will be their 45th anniversary. Put in the time -- grow your commitment by keeping your communication open, which is the key to maintaining and growing trust. My husband and I talk a LOT, about everything under the sun, big things and small things. We fight fair, and tell each other when something feels not good. We try our hardest not to keep secrets. Most of all, we are a team. You sound like you and your fiancée are too. This is all very exciting for you, and now you get to live with your best friend for the rest of your life. If there's a better present than that in the world, I've never seen it. Best of luck to you, but you sound like you are well on your way to having it sorted. ❤️
  3. Philip K Richard? Philip K Nixon's-First-Name? Philip K Phallus? Not a fan, anyway. Not really my sort of thing.
  4. Thank you for the vote of confidence -- even on my rattiest, nastiest days I don't think I descend to that level of self-centeredness. I think Ari is 30 or 31. I had my first real "I am out here on my own" moment when I was just a smidge older, and even then I chose to avoid the safety net. Without really giving voice to it, I knew I was old enough to at the very least try to handle things on my own. And when it wasn't going so well, I asked for the real help families can give their adult members, which is to say emotional support, not necessarily monetary support. Ari needs to get a job that isn't writing a travel blog or setting up an Etsy shop unless she can move serious product. She worked in a doctor's office before, she can do that again. Or any number of other white collar jobs that give her enough flexibility as a reasonably new mom. And Bini needs to consider what he will do once he gets his EAD that isn't "I'm an MMA fighter!" It's weird that of all the foreign fiances this season only Miona has an actual plan about what she's going to do once she can work -- and that's developing a makeup line!
  5. I don't have an issue with Emily breastfeeding. It's her body and her decision to feed Koban that way as long as she wishes. And while I wouldn't feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of my parents, there's nothing inherently "wrong" about it. Babies get hungry and they need to eat; breastfeeding is normal and no woman should be forced into the shame hut in the basement just because her husband doesn't like thinking of her boobies as anything more than sexy things. Breastfeeding isn't sexy (for most people), so doing in front of her parents is fine if they don't have an issue with it. Clearly they don't if Koban is 17 months old. My nephew is 11 weeks old, and my sister is finally getting the hang of breastfeeding -- like Emily, it wasn't easy to start with. She doesn't have a problem feeding in front of her husband or my parents if she has to, but she told me she isn't cool with having my husband in the room if she needs to take care of Kai, or most of her friends except her two closest ones who are also moms and have been giving her a lot of support. Whatever works for mom is what's probably right. I do think she was completely wrong not to sort out the bed situation before Kobe arrived when she promised she would. That looks like a double bed! Mohamed's whispery voice and vacant eyes make me think he's a budding cult leader. Yve needs to chuck that manbaby. Shaeeda is so sweet -- her being really nervous before she met the kids was adorable. She wants this relationship to work so badly. Unfortunately the relationship is with Bilal, who is a toad. I can't believe he didn't chew her out for put the pool cue chalkside down on the white carpet! Also, was that Bilal's "mancave" as advertised by the sign on the wall outside? If so (1) sorry excuse for a mancave and (2) I have no time for those kids of signs, which are strictly (as my friend Cait puts it) wine decor. Okay, I cannot stand Ari but I will say this. Ari is a princess in her family, and I have been accused of being a princess more than once in my life. It's probably true. When your family enables your helplessness, it can be hard to break out of it because no one really takes you seriously. Ari's parents chose a 2 bed, because they want her to be comfortable, and because they know they will pick up the slack if they have to, which they will. It's a way parents can continue to control their adult children. They think they're protecting their "baby" but are setting "baby" up to fail because they have never let her grow up, and when they offer more help because she's failing, the cycle continues. It can take a lot to break out of this if "baby" has never learned how to stand on her own two feet. As someone who did, it took me a lot of time and a very serious shock to grow up at last and break free, and I didn't even have a child like Ari does.
  6. Just like we only get to read parts of the author's name here on VJ.
  7. Some good news: https://www.axios.com/2022/05/16/abbott-baby-formula-fda-sturgis-michigan
  8. My take is that because the harassment was based on a sex-linked characteristic (generally only men go bald, or significantly bald), this is sex-based harassment.
  9. Until we know a bit more about the parents, I'm reserving judgment. The shooter might be very good at compartmentalizing and hiding parts of himself. My guess is they had no idea how deep down he was into 4chan and 8chan's soggy bottoms, drinking deep from the sludge of Lake Edgelord. I have a lot of sympathy for parents during the pandemic and how hard it must have been to keep their kids' online activity monitored all the time. My guess is this kid got radicalized in the past couple of years. It might have started as something that seemed funny ha-ha but he clearly became deadly serious. It reminds me of that quote from Rumpole (you know I have been watching a lot of Rumpole recently): "The greatest horrors of our world, from the executions in Iran to the brutalities of the IRA, are committed by people who are totally sincere." I've had that line flipping and squirming about quite a bit this week in my wee brain, like a fish dangling on the end of a hook.
  10. He's an adult, so he should take ALL the blame, but what kind of parents allow this to happen? How do you not know you have a self-described white supremacist in your home?
  11. I always say that it's great that there's so much room in this country that we can sort ourselves into places we'd rather be. I happen to like living here. Hope you have a safe and event-free move -- personally, I hate moving SO much, and now we're talking about maybe buying later this year. The market's finally starting to cool down so that not parking more money in real estate that we actually want to live in seems like poor planning on our part. We just didn't want to buy a home until he got his green card, and then when he did the market was peaking. But we plan on taking advantage of the coming downturn/correction. I'm not as crass as my friend who says, when there's blood in the streets, buy property, but I appreciate the sentiment.
  12. https://www.cnbc.com/2022/05/13/calling-a-man-bald-counts-as-sexual-harassment-uk-judge-rules.html
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