When people find out you were not born here

[Mike E 11,723]

So sorry that your social  circle  consists of friendly, helpful, and curious Americans.  There is a remedy for your tough situation. 

 

Best.  

[Boiler 43,425]

I was of the opinion that the US is pretty low down the scale, other countries seem much more inquisitive.

[ronniebreda 120]

Hah! This is my husband's life almost anytime we meet anyone new. He has a thick accent and talks very fast, so it usually catches people off guard when he first says something and then they go straight to, "So where are you from?" 
We live in the Midwest and haven't got any unfriendly comments about it yet. He does say, "I am from The Netherlands, Holland" because most people have no idea where or what The Netherlands is. If people still look confused then he throws in the, "windmills and wooden shoes place." 

I personally have felt like the curiosity of Americans is kind and welcoming..being open to different places. From my experiences, I (the American spouse) have had many more rude situations about being an American in the Netherlands (the Dutch are blunt), than what my husband has experienced in the US. 

[Mollie09 1,543]

13 hours ago, C90 said:

I recently got my EAD, and every interview I have the first question they ask is "why the heck did you trade in the Netherlands for the USA?!" (so much for patriotism lol) I don't really mind, I take it as a compliment.

Although today at work, I couldn't read someone's handwriting and I asked what it said. My co worker read it (it said passed away, but it looked at pet something) and then they asked if I've ever heard of that word.... I know she meant it really well, but it made me feel so dumb. I am fluent in English. So that kinda sucked, but maybe I'm just overthinking lol.

 

I hate hate HATE when this happens. When I ask someone to repeat themselves and they think it's because I'm foreign. IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE MUMBLING

[bestluck 71]

15 hours ago, robhostein said:

Every single time I talk to someone, either I recently met them or I've known them for months, the moment they find out I was born in another country, suddenly I'm a different person to them.

 

They're shocked that I don't have an accent. That I speak such good English. They start asking me questions about my country of origin. If I've ever been there since I left, what languages I speak, if I want to go back. They start talking about political and economic issues about the country as if I still live there. They start recommending me to restaurants and stores that sell food and other items from the county.

 

I mean basically, as soon as they find out you were not born here, your identity to them is no longer "Rob, the guy I met at the library," but instead becomes "Rob, the guy from Africa" or "Rob, the guy from Honduras." And so every conversation you have they have to bring up something about your country. I mean, this is all fine and good for a few hours, but when its been days, weeks...

 

I've been here since before I hit puberty. If I wanted to go to my country, I'd have done it years ago and not stayed here. If I wanted food from my country, again, I wouldn't be here.

People : Are you from Mexico ? No , Are you from India  ? No ,  Are you from Philippines ? No , Are you from where ?  I am from USA , They yall acting like he is crazy and walk away lol 

[Ben & Katy 168]

15 hours ago, robhostein said:

Every single time I talk to someone, either I recently met them or I've known them for months, the moment they find out I was born in another country, suddenly I'm a different person to them.

 

They're shocked that I don't have an accent. That I speak such good English. They start asking me questions about my country of origin. If I've ever been there since I left, what languages I speak, if I want to go back. They start talking about political and economic issues about the country as if I still live there. They start recommending me to restaurants and stores that sell food and other items from the county.

 

I mean basically, as soon as they find out you were not born here, your identity to them is no longer "Rob, the guy I met at the library," but instead becomes "Rob, the guy from Africa" or "Rob, the guy from Honduras." And so every conversation you have they have to bring up something about your country. I mean, this is all fine and good for a few hours, but when its been days, weeks...

 

I've been here since before I hit puberty. If I wanted to go to my country, I'd have done it years ago and not stayed here. If I wanted food from my country, again, I wouldn't be here.

I can definitely relate.  I was born in Brazil but have been here a very long time.  After they find out they want to talk about Carnaval, Samba or soccer.  LOL  Even more so the latinos that live here in the US are very curious to talk about anything Brazil.  When I go to visit Mexico with my mexican wife its almost the samething.  Over there they say, I would have never imagined wow!  Then they get into the conversation again about Carnaval and soccer. 

[Roel 7,191]

3 hours ago, PaulMac said:

 

P.S. To add, i do speak Russian, and Polish lol

That made me laugh. 

 

But don't worry. People ask me if I speak Polish after they find out I'm from Poland.. but they also think I speak Russian, because obviously everyone living in Eastern Europe is Russian in some way. 😛

[The_Empyrean 733]

5 minutes ago, Roel said:

That made me laugh. 

 

But don't worry. People ask me if I speak Polish after they find out I'm from Poland.. but they also think I speak Russian, because obviously everyone living in Eastern Europe is Russian in some way. 😛

lol yeah.. I mean i wouldn't mind them asking whether I AM russian or polish, rather than ASSUMING i am. Then i start the tirade of "Oh you're from Salvador? So you're Mexican then". lol I DON'T WANT TO OFFEND ANYONE, i use it as a mocking way to show them the difference lol

Edited March 8, 2019 by PaulMac
typos

[nullaccount234 882]

I have a friend who is US born (California) but brought up in Sweden, to Swedish parents. No one upon finding out ever asks her anything in terms of restaurants, tourist advice, etc. She's dual citizen but not considered "the American" by anyone. She will get the occasional compassionate sigh from people who know that she must go through the pain of filing US taxes despite never planning to move back, but that's about it.

[NYCruiser 423]

16 hours ago, robhostein said:

Every single time I talk to someone, either I recently met them or I've known them for months, the moment they find out I was born in another country, suddenly I'm a different person to them.

 

They're shocked that I don't have an accent. That I speak such good English. They start asking me questions about my country of origin. If I've ever been there since I left, what languages I speak, if I want to go back. They start talking about political and economic issues about the country as if I still live there. They start recommending me to restaurants and stores that sell food and other items from the county.

 

I mean basically, as soon as they find out you were not born here, your identity to them is no longer "Rob, the guy I met at the library," but instead becomes "Rob, the guy from Africa" or "Rob, the guy from Honduras." And so every conversation you have they have to bring up something about your country. I mean, this is all fine and good for a few hours, but when its been days, weeks...

 

I've been here since before I hit puberty. If I wanted to go to my country, I'd have done it years ago and not stayed here. If I wanted food from my country, again, I wouldn't be here.

You are overthinking this. People want to learn...and how do people get to learn things?...voila...ask questions. Nothing wrong with that at all..infact commendable. Cuisine is culturally based in its original form..so whats the big deal?

[NYCruiser 423]

23 minutes ago, LizM said:

I have a friend who is US born (California) but brought up in Sweden, to Swedish parents. No one upon finding out ever asks her anything in terms of restaurants, tourist advice, etc. She's dual citizen but not considered "the American" by anyone. She will get the occasional compassionate sigh from people who know that she must go through the pain of filing US taxes despite never planning to move back, but that's about it.

Swedish food? Um...I am not surprised. I can only think of Swedish Meatballs....and I consider myself well traveled...::-)

[AnneA 72]

5 hours ago, PaulMac said:

Don't get me started on this... lol
I moved to US about 6 years ago +-, and i learned English back in Lithuania from cartoons, video games etc, so English is like a second native language. People have no clue that i wasn't born in USA as i have barely noticeable accent, and that can slip thru as a different American accent (NY, vs Midwest etc)
So when they hear me talking in Lithuanian, they go like "Oh you're Russian aren't you?", "no i'm not", "but you speak Russian?" "yes i do", "so you're Russian?", "no i'm not, that was Lithuanian", "but Lithuania speaks Russian?", "NO IT'S LITHUANIAN, WE HAVE OUR OWN LANGUAGE".. then the awkward silence for a bit and they go "so you speak polish then..?", "I was a god D**n LITHUANIAN, ITS NOT POLAND, NOT RUSSIA, NOT BELARUS, NOT UKRAINE. ITS LITHUANIA!".
Then i have to explain to them that Lithuania is Russia, the same way Brazil is Mexico, or Japan and China. Urghhhh..
I have nothing against either of the countries, but knowing the history of LTU, it's kind of insulting to be called Russian or Polish. NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE.

P.S. To add, i do speak Russian, and Polish lol

That is exactly the same when I tell people I'm Danish but with Sweden, Norway and Germany ... and if I then let my Scottish accent kick in they are so confused 😂 

[Cultclassic92 10]

I have been here over a year and got my approval for my AOS on Monday ☺️ I have been asked countless times what accent is that or where are you from. It was a bit difficult at first as some people here couldn't understand my British accent so I had to repeat myself!

[Cathi 5,609]

I don't think people have bad intentions, I think they truly have an interest in you, your culture and where you're from. You're making it sound like people are doing it to annoy you on purpose and I'm pretty sure that isn't the case.

 

I travel to my husband's home country every year and everywhere I go people ask me about the US, the culture and especially the politics (especially since the 2016 election), including people in his family I've known for over a decade. People are truly interested and I don't mind when they ask.

[robhostein 57]

2 minutes ago, Cathi said:

I don't think people have bad intentions, I think they truly have an interest in you, your culture and where you're from. You're making it sound like people are doing it to annoy you on purpose and I'm pretty sure that isn't the case.

Oh, it's nothing like that. I hope everyone reading this thread doesn't think that I think the people who ask me questions about my background have malicious intent. Or that they annoy me. No, nooooooooooooo... far from it. I know they're excited to ask such questions. And I totally get that they would have such interests. It's completely understandable.

 

It's just sad that I'm so far removed from my country of birth that I cannot answer their questions or give them what they're seeking, that cultural connection.