When people find out you were not born here

[Boiler 43,430]

3 hours ago, TTG said:

Sorry Rob. I know how you feel. People are like deer caught in the headlights when they realise you're different. And let's not forget that most Americans never get a passport or visit a foreign country. It really sucks but I guess it's best to just carry on challenging their perceptions of what it means to be American. 

 

On a side note. I'm a British citizen, recently naturalised but here since I was 6 years old. I'm no longer very polite when people repeatedly ask me what nationality I am or where I come from. When I reply "I'm British, I grew up in Shropshire" and they ask "Yeah but where are you really from? Where were you born? Where are your parents from?" I don't think twice about dismantling their idiotic questions with a snarky remark. 

 

We are more than the place where we were born. I don't know what about that concept is so difficult for people to understand in 2019.

Surprised you kept your accent. Why do they ask?

[TBoneTX 43,057]

19 hours ago, TTG said:

where are you really from? Where were you born?

Good answer might be "I'm a Zoroastrian Eskimo from Eek*, Alaska."

 

*real place

[Visitor User 236]

Anyone seen the funny comedy on race bubbles by Hasan Minhaj? 

[robhostein 57]

On 3/8/2019 at 8:46 AM, Mike E said:

So sorry that your social  circle  consists of friendly, helpful, and curious Americans.  There is a remedy for your tough situation. 

 

Best.  

Hey, listen, I know you're being sarcastic and everything. I know you must think I'm some jerk who is offended by someone asking about my background. But I'm not.

 

This is for anyone reading this thread thinking I harbor some hatred for Americans that are interested in foreign people and their cultures. 

 

I never, in any way shape or form, said that I hate people who ask me those questions. I did not say that I found them annoying. My threshold for what I find annoying is far higher than that. There are worse things in the world to worry about.

 

I'm too far removed from my birth country to offer any kind of cultural connection to the people who are curious about it. It's sad, but that's the reality. Wish I could, but I can't. Do I HATE the people who come up to me with their curiosity? NO. Why would I? They're just asking simple questions. They have no hatred towards me. And I don't have any towards them.

 

Why did I create this thread? To find people who have had similar experiences. And by the looks of the replies, there are plenty.

[POA 175]

On 3/8/2019 at 2:40 PM, mtempelaar said:

I got the question last week about why my husband turned in The Netherlands for the USA and I just said "For me!".  That being said, he has dual citizenship now, and next step is mine.   We'll move there when I hit retirement age most likely.

 

My husband is fluent too, and super smart, but sometimes his mind goes blank on a specific word/phrase.   One day I heard him clanging around the house.   I yelled out "what are you doing???"

Hubby: "I am cleaning the blow screen"

Me: "The blow screen?"

Hubby: "Yeah the blow screen."

Me: "WTH is a blow screen?"

Hubby: "You know...the thing in the ceiling that gets the dust out of the house"

Me: "You mean the air filter."

Hubby: "Yeah that!"

Me: "Honey....that doesn't blow, it sucks.  Do I need to explain difference?"  

 

     

Lol I have this moment too!  We foreigners uses different phrases which is why I usually ask my husband and friends how would they say it if they were to say it. Funny that we have the same plans. We will retire in the Philippines and he will get his dual citizenship too like me.

[millefleur 5,035]

On 3/8/2019 at 10:15 AM, robhostein said:

It's just sad that I'm so far removed from my country of birth that I cannot answer their questions or give them what they're seeking, that cultural connection. 

I think this is a really good answer to the questions people might be asking you...of course it may not be the happy answer everyone wants to hear but it sums up well why you don't really want to talk about it.

 

I think it's harder between adults, tbh, when one's concept of nationality becomes more solidified and more of an expectation. I remember as a high schooler growing up with classmates originally from Bosnia, Afghanistan, Albania, South Africa...very rarely did the topic of their countries of origin might pop up unless they actually brought it up themselves, but other than that, we all just got along as kids without any further questions of nationality/culture.  

[robhostein 57]

8 minutes ago, millefleur said:

I think this is a really good answer to the questions people might be asking you...of course it may not be the happy answer everyone wants to hear but it sums up well why you don't really want to talk about it.

Oh, yes. I agree. And like you said, it's best to be direct. This answer is direct and the most gentle way of addressing those questions they have.

 

Although, if they offer to take me to one of those restaurants, and they're paying... Hey, a free meal is a free meal... 😄

[Umka36 781]

Grew up most of my life here at the age of 5, so no Asian accent. If anything, folks are more curious about my journey getting here. It probably depends on where you live.

 

However, my wife has a eastern European accent, and gets asked all the time where she is from. People are just curious.

[TBoneTX 43,057]

Not long after Mrs. T-B. got here, I took her to the local Mexican supermarket, and I told her to ask the employees if they could identify where she was from on the basis of her dialect.

 

The guesses were "Honduras," "Colombia," and "not Mexico."

 

When she said "Ecuador," one guy actually exclaimed, "Really?  I thought all Ecuadorians were ugly!"  Mrs. T-B. & I concluded that the guy had only seen pictures of those stubby Ecu Indians who wear the colorful hats.

[TTG 8]

On 3/9/2019 at 1:39 PM, Boiler said:

Surprised you kept your accent. Why do they ask?

Sorry, I wasn't very clear. I'm a naturalised British citizen who is moving to the US. Originally (let's stir the pot) from China. I look 100% Chinese so people are very surprised when I speak in a very standard English accent. 

 

Having said that... if I'm in the US for the next 40 years I hope I never lose the accent! My mother would have a meltdown! lol.

[Boiler 43,430]

12 minutes ago, TTG said:

Sorry, I wasn't very clear. I'm a naturalised British citizen who is moving to the US. Originally (let's stir the pot) from China. I look 100% Chinese so people are very surprised when I speak in a very standard English accent. 

 

Having said that... if I'm in the US for the next 40 years I hope I never lose the accent! My mother would have a meltdown! lol.

Well that is bound to cause confusion, most Americans have never visited the UK and shall we say have a Hollywood impression.

[TTG 8]

Just now, Boiler said:

Well that is bound to cause confusion, most Americans have never visited the UK and shall we say have a Hollywood impression.

I fully embrace my new career as a supervillain mastermind. Just don't tell my wife about the lab in the cellar.

[Boiler 43,430]

I am half Welsh but my Mum left when she was 12 and had hardly any accent left, so at 6 I am surprised.

 

Actually had a conversation with a friends GF recently and she had no clue where Wales was, what it was etc etc. And she is actually Russian but came here at a very early age. To be fair most Americans have no clue if I mention Wales.

[TBoneTX 43,057]

14 hours ago, Boiler said:

most Americans have no clue if I mention Wales.

Blue Wales, sperm Wales, killer Wales... got it, first try!   

Edited March 13, 2019 by TBoneTX

[millefleur 5,035]

4 hours ago, Boiler said:

I am half Welsh but my Mum left when she was 12 and had hardly any accent left, so at 6 I am surprised.

 

Actually had a conversation with a friends GF recently and she had no clue where Wales was, what it was etc etc. And she is actually Russian but came here at a very early age. To be fair most Americans have no clue if I mention Wales.

When I lived in Russia, it was shocking to me that most Russians overwhelmingly think the entire US is one big California filled with hot weather and sun all the time...Recently I knew a Russian who traveled here on a tourist visa and visited the Midwest because a friend lived there....she packed nothing but warm spring clothing only to be met with a snowy polar vortex to her shock. She had to borrow friends' clothing in order not to freeze. That quickly shattered the "Entire America = Southern California" preconception.

 

I think people around the world tend to be ignorant of geography sadly. Unless you're a map nerd, most people probably wouldn't seek out to be familiar with tons of lesser known/smaller countries.