Waiting for AOS/EAD - how do people spend these 6-9 months without work?

[LJVotolato 13]

I'm getting frustrated waiting for my AOS approval and just want to assure that I am not realizing something that everyone else here is. Do people really NOT work for those 6-9 months it takes for your AOS to be approved? I applied for my EAD with my AOS in December 2021 and it says the case is pending.

 

So how do you spend your days? Legit question. I have tons of hobbies but not being able to work and not being able to go back home (since I don't have my advance parole)  is very frustrating. Seems like a silly question, I know I know. I've waited months to ask it for that very reason.

[Rocio0010 5,573]

What visa did you adjust from? If the ability to work/ travel was a priority, then you should have filed for the CR-1.

Engage in some hobbies, volunteer somewhere, work on your skills for when you are able to work. Take classes, update your resume, get to know the market.

[P055UM 259]

It is very frustrating, there is no two ways about it.

For me, I kind of gave myself “off” the time I knew I’d be out of action for - at the time I applied it was around 6 months. So during the days, relaxing, nurturing some hobbies (language learning, exercising, exploring my new city, catching up on tv i hadn’t had time for the last couple of years), I joined some clubs (made a couple friends), made a real effort to get to know my wife’s friends, embraced doing household stuff to support my wife while she works. Do you drive? That was massive for my autonomy - I live in a very walkable area but even so - it has given me so much freedom.
 

Even with all that stuff it gets boring eventually. I started getting antsy at the end of the 6 months I’d originally given myself. In think my wife saw this so we took a little staycation and then since getting back I have spent time thinking about getting back to work, updating resume, and being a bit grumpy. EAD/AoS comes for everyone eventually but I fully sympathise that the intervening period is a challenge. You’ll get there

[Crazy Cat 39,749]

1 hour ago, LJVotolato said:

Seems like a silly question, I know I know. I've waited months to ask it for that very reason.

It is not a silly question.  It is one of the major drawbacks of a K-1 and/or adjusting status.  It seems many people place little concern on the front end, then anguish during this "limbo" period.  It is worth mentioning.  

[Unlockable 7,306]

Welcome to the K1 haters club (aka visajourney). Just kidding..........maybe not.

 

 

All jokes aside, most people find ways to assimulate to the country. Many do volunteer work. When my wife came over, she was fine for about a month. She visited family that was already here and did things like research schools and such she could join. Then it really started to hit her around the 3rd month. This was a woman that has work all of her adult life now just sitting around the house waiting for me to get home. It made a big impact to her mental and emotional wellbeing. She got her EAD/AP and the GC almost at the same time a couple of weeks later. And the first thing she did after getting it was book a flight to visit family back home. 

 

This was before Covid so it was no where near the long wait it is now. This is why this site is notorious for advising people who want to do the K1 to consider the spousal visa instead. For ua, it is just not worth it. Even if someone is adjusting status from a tourist visa it is not worth it. You are virtually trapped and prevented from starting your new life here for months. 
 

But EAD/AP timelines are getting better. Hopefully, the worse is behind us all. 

 

 

[Unlockable 7,306]

18 minutes ago, Crazy Cat said:

It is not a silly question.  It is one of the major drawbacks of a K-1 and/or adjusting status.  It seems many people place little concern on the front end, then anguish during this "limbo" period.  It is worth mentioning.  

One thing I have learned is that people who are just starting out value speed over all other benefits. I don't know if it is because they are in a honeymoon phase and are anxious to be united with their new love asap. 
 

I joke with my friends irl on how the K1 is like the sports car you've always wanted as a kid. Nevermind that it is expensive, has horrible gas mileage, uncomfortable and impractical for every day use, and cost a lot of money to maintain...you just want it because it goes fast. 

[Redro 4,602]

I have not gone through the K1 visa process. 

But, I had a plan to be unemployed for 6 months. 

I lasted ONE MONTH before looking for a new job. 

People really do underestimate the value of work. 

 

ETA: If you can enroll in a college or short course. I would 100% do that. 

It will allow you to meet people and give you some structure to your day.

Also check to see if your local library or community center has some free programs you can explore. 

Edited May 15, 2022 by ROK2USA

[Sarah&Facundo 578]

My husband really, REALLY struggled during this time. And the wait was only 5 months when he got his EAD/AP.  I actually took a job that paid less money just so I could work from home to be in the house with him (pre-Covid, when this wasn't the norm). That way he wouldn't feel as alone. But he still really struggled. I say this so you should know you are NOT alone.

 

His second month living here, he started studying at the local community college where he eventually got his Associates Degree. But even that was a struggle because English isn't his first language so the assignments were much more time consuming for him. We are huge travelers and we've gone all over the world together, so to keep that as a part of our life, we took a trip to Alaska during that time because it has a feeling of being "different" and "traveling" because we couldn't leave without his AP card. He also found a local Jiu Jitsu gym because he loves that sport. At least there, he made some acquaintances. He has now been in the US for four years and he still hasn't really fully adjusted. Immigration is HARD and definitely not for the weak. 

Good luck!

[Loren Y 2,745]

When my wife arrived on a K1 we had no issues with this. she started language school a week after arriving, then after about 2 months of that, she enrolled in the school she needed to get certified and licensed in her current field of work. course was 20 weeks, plus 80 hours or more of hands on training, and then a State exam after all of that, so it worked out well for us ( Granted EAD/AP was only like a 5-6 month wait then max). Another plus obviously we live in a pretty popular city with decent public transportation options and limitless things to do (Vegas), so it wasn't as bad for her. If you are stuck at home in a middle of nowhere location with nothing to do, I can see it being an issue. Like others have said, you have to find something to keep busy, and tough it out.

[Redro 4,602]

16 minutes ago, Loren Y said:

When my wife arrived on a K1 we had no issues with this. she started language school a week after arriving, then after about 2 months of that, she enrolled in the school she needed to get certified and licensed in her current field of work. course was 20 weeks, plus 80 hours or more of hands on training, and then a State exam after all of that, so it worked out well for us ( Granted EAD/AP was only like a 5-6 month wait then max). Another plus obviously we live in a pretty popular city with decent public transportation options and limitless things to do (Vegas), so it wasn't as bad for her. If you are stuck at home in a middle of nowhere location with nothing to do, I can see it being an issue. Like others have said, you have to find something to keep busy, and tough it out.

I do want to say I think the "study at university/college" is not the greatest advice for people proficient in English/in their late 20s. 

I took a university class in my late 20s when I wasn't working and it was torture as it gave me something to do during the day but all my classmates were in their late teens and I made ZERO friends. And the course work was super easy. 

I spent the majority of my day at the gym/working out. 

Ran a half marathon after that course... so if you have the drive... train for a half or a full marathon #jokingnotjoking

 

[Klugscheißer 175]

Not sure, if I'm an exception... but I had absolutely no problem with being unemployed for months. Lol

 

When I arrived, I tried to make myself feel at home. I tidied up, cleaned, painted every room of the house, fixed broken things, started woodworking, built shelves, worked in the yard, and so on... I did everything that I never had the time or energy for when I was still living in Germany.

 

I live in a very rural area. So, I also explored the woods, went hiking, etc. Then after a few weeks, I also adopted a dog from the shelter and spend all my free time with him. I built him a fence, bed, an agility trail, etc...

 

Time actually flew by.

Wish I could have been unemployed even longer. I didn't get everything done that I wanted to get done 😁

[MarJhi 925]

My biggest worry for my fiance when she finally does get here is her getting bored until she is able to work. In her current job in the Philippines she works 50 to 60 hours per week and outside of work she is more of a homebody. But at home she has a large family, 8-10 people living there at any given time so there is always a lot of activity. When she gets here she wont be working at all and when I am at work she will be by herself. I have had this conversation with her many times that I am concerned about her getting bored until she can start working but she seems to believe that wont happen. She says she will keep the same schedule as me (I work overnights) which will essentially have her on a similar schedule to family and friends back home. She says she will probably just be talking to them on Whatsapp if she gets bored while I am working, which I guess that does make things a little easier. I am working on things for her to do while she waits, like learning to drive, volunteering at the elementary school next door to where I live etc. She also dealt without work for 9 months when her employment was shut down during the pandemic, so she is pretty confident she can deal with the time off again once she gets here. 

 

One thing she is fine with is her English language skills. Her English is excellent, maybe just needs help with pronunciation here and there. She loves to read and her genre of choice is American spy/adventure novels. For years she kept a dictionary and a thesaurus with her as she reads so she can look up any words she doesn't know, so her vocabulary is better than most Americans I think. 

[Redro 4,602]

8 minutes ago, MalinRonja said:

Not sure, if I'm an exception... but I had absolutely no problem with being unemployed for months. Lol

 

When I arrived, I tried to make myself feel at home. I tidied up, cleaned, painted every room of the house, fixed broken things, started woodworking, built shelves, worked in the yard, and so on... I did everything that I never had the time or energy for when I was still living in Germany.

 

I live in a very rural area. So, I also explored the woods, went hiking, etc. Then after a few weeks, I also adopted a dog from the shelter and spend all my free time with him. I built him a fence, bed, an agility trail, etc...

 

Time actually flew by.

Wish I could have been unemployed even longer. I didn't get everything done that I wanted to get done 😁

You are living my dream. 

I so want to do agility training with my eventual dog but we live in an urban area so it costs $70 per lesson 

and we we won't have the space to create our own trail. 

[MarJhi 925]

9 minutes ago, MalinRonja said:

Not sure, if I'm an exception... but I had absolutely no problem with being unemployed for months. Lol

 

When I arrived, I tried to make myself feel at home. I tidied up, cleaned, painted every room of the house, fixed broken things, started woodworking, built shelves, worked in the yard, and so on... I did everything that I never had the time or energy for when I was still living in Germany.

 

I live in a very rural area. So, I also explored the woods, went hiking, etc. Then after a few weeks, I also adopted a dog from the shelter and spend all my free time with him. I built him a fence, bed, an agility trail, etc...

 

Time actually flew by.

Wish I could have been unemployed even longer. I didn't get everything done that I wanted to get done 😁

Yeah my fiance wants a dog too so I think that is going to happen when she gets here. Plus she is an organizer and a cook so I know she can't wait to dig into my cabinets/closets and start correcting my poor organizational  skills. She is fascinated by the junk drawer in the kitchen and really wants to get her hands on it. I keep telling her a junk drawer is an American tradition and every household has one, but she wants to eliminate that mess. 

[Redro 4,602]

4 minutes ago, MarJhi said:

Yeah my fiance wants a dog too so I think that is going to happen when she gets here. Plus she is an organizer and a cook so I know she can't wait to dig into my cabinets/closets and start correcting my poor organizational  skills. She is fascinated by the junk drawer in the kitchen and really wants to get her hands on it. I keep telling her a junk drawer is an American tradition and every household has one, but she wants to eliminate that mess. 

"Junk Drawers" might be something I teach my ESL students.... teaching English isn't just teaching language. We teach culture, too! 

Edited May 15, 2022 by ROK2USA