Huge age difference

[Crazy Cat 39,336]

3 hours ago, Roqia said:

You will have to prove a legitimate relationship and as long as you can do that you should have no problem with the age gap...best wishes to you both

I have seen age gap listed with other factors on more than one denial letter.  Convincing a CO that this is a bona fide relationship will be expensive and it might take years....

[Going through 5,668]

8 hours ago, momofmeli said:

What your parents says? Are they ok with their new 53 years old bride? How many kids you want? Midesiz 

Raises another good point.  Mother approving of the marriage is very important in that culture as well.  Can't think of many who would be ok with the possibility of not welcoming grandchildren in that culture.

 

Naturally the parents have the prospect of being able to immigrate themselves later on, though, despite the age gap, should all go as OP plans.

[SusieQQQ 11,584]

56 minutes ago, Going through said:

Raises another good point.  Mother approving of the marriage is very important in that culture as well.  Can't think of many who would be ok with the possibility of not welcoming grandchildren in that culture.

 

Naturally the parents have the prospect of being able to immigrate themselves later on, though, despite the age gap, should all go as OP plans.

Mother may be younger than the prospective daughter in law...

[JeanneAdil 6,209]

12 hours ago, Cryssiekins said:

Just one book?  That’s going to be a mighty thick book my friend!  There’s a LOT of threads

on this forum that make it difficult for me not to be judgey, but when it quacks like a duck...  

 

@HelpGuys12:  Admittedly I don’t know the logistics of a Tunisian citizen travelling to other countries, but it may be more cost effective for her to fly to Canada (or even drive if she’s geographically close to the border).  Echoing everyone else here:  it’s not the best idea to marry on the first meeting, or to rely on a third party sponsor.  It sounds like you’re more financially stable, so having her relocate, even for a couple years, is a better way to be able to eventually settle together in the US. 

Tunisian man is probably not going to get a tourist visa to Canada,  the US or Europe (too many trying to get to Europe illegally for work) 

Tunisia ,  Algeria ,  Morocco all have a big population of men under the age of 25 and 25 to 30 / mostly why the jobs are scarce

 

To the OP

My Adil registered on this site in 2009 when we applied for K1

i wish you would go thru the Tunisia posts (all the way thru the letters written in there) as a Tunisian man with big age gap (not as big as yours) went to an interview and the other people in the embassy laughed at him for the age gap

yes,  the embassy can be rude and it is not professional for them to act that way but according to that poster it did

 

I can not imagine your family especially mother would really be ok with this marriage   If they are OK with it because they think you will work and send money back home,  you're going to be surprised to see the cost of living here (and helping the financially stressed wife) plus our insurance and tax system is too much to help family in Tunisia

and you also need to understand that if you get past the NVC stage to an interview,  the CO in embassy will be looking closely at your education and job possibilites and a lack of former education in the US means any work you may find would be laborous    and Americans do work hard  (this is not like what you see on TV)  My adil has high school and 2 years of accounting college level and still works 6 10 hour days

[AhmednDanyal 6]

I see cases like this all the time on fb pages, it never ends pretty. All the old women wonder why they can’t have their boy with them. It’s disturbing sometimes to see these old men and women marrying someone that is 20 years plus younger. I’m sure In your case your mom must be the same age as her ?? And her kids possibly the same age as you ? Think about it from a CO point of view. Met online , she comes and you marry on first visit, she comes back and petitions. No way will they think it’s real. If this really is love she will move there and spend a lot of time there. Maybe even 2 years and then marry and file. I am only 8 years older than my fiancé and nervous for a k1. In UAE but Pakistani born. I’m divorced with 5 kids but we want one quickly as soon as he’s here. And I can still have babies. I’ve made 12 trips to Dubai since feb 2017 and we just got our NOA2. We spent a lot of time together. And in February he’s taking me home to Pakistan to meet all his family. Video calls don’t cut it. This will all be before the interview but still, I’m nervous. I’m blessed his family accepts me. You have a huge uphill battle like everyone says 

[JeanneAdil 6,209]

14 minutes ago, AhmednDanyal said:

I see cases like this all the time on fb pages, it never ends pretty. All the old women wonder why they can’t have their boy with them. It’s disturbing sometimes to see these old men and women marrying someone that is 20 years plus younger. I’m sure In your case your mom must be the same age as her ?? And her kids possibly the same age as you ? Think about it from a CO point of view. Met online , she comes and you marry on first visit, she comes back and petitions. No way will they think it’s real. If this really is love she will move there and spend a lot of time there. Maybe even 2 years and then marry and file. I am only 8 years older than my fiancé and nervous for a k1. In UAE but Pakistani born. I’m divorced with 5 kids but we want one quickly as soon as he’s here. And I can still have babies. I’ve made 12 trips to Dubai since feb 2017 and we just got our NOA2. We spent a lot of time together. And in February he’s taking me home to Pakistan to meet all his family. Video calls don’t cut it. This will all be before the interview but still, I’m nervous. I’m blessed his family accepts me. You have a huge uphill battle like everyone says 

you'll probably be ok with all these visits if he interviews in UAE

just have to have the needed income and be able to prove you can afford his health insurance till he gets the work permit 

 

as for the OP

a US woman of limited financial resourses is not going to move to Tunisia as you know a US woman over 50 would not find a job there

I spent a month there looking for a house (in spring of 2008) and found one i liked and almost made the move /then i met my husband later in that year

it is easy to fall in love with Tunisian people  / the kids,  the young women and men are beautiful and i mean really beautiful

and the country the same 

i loved it

 

also forgot to mention in my many posts here

this process is 

not easy

not fast

not cheap ( i spent over $35,000 for the things immigration wanted me to do)

[givionte 138]

31 minutes ago, AhmednDanyal said:

If this really is love she will move there and spend a lot of time there. Maybe even 2 years and then marry and file. 

This is pretty much the bottom line.  If it's love you truly seek, spending a couple years together in Tunisia or having extended visits in a neighboring country Tunisian's can travel to and building a healthy relationship "portfolio" before marriage is a must before any CO would take this case seriously.  The number of red flags is enough that the first official to get their hands on it would toss it in the waste bin a moment after looking it over.

Edited December 27, 2019 by givionte

[Deagle 494]

14 hours ago, laylalex said:

 and play a LOT of Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas.

This is the best game ever. Love it and miss it.

[Knightgame185 65]

I really do not understand how this people actually fall in love with the huge age difference. this is seriously a huge red flag and doubt this is a love marriage and only marrying for the green card. If I was the officer it would declined immaterially. 

[AhmednDanyal 6]

24 minutes ago, JeanneAdil said:

you'll probably be ok with all these visits if he interviews in UAE

just have to have the needed income and be able to prove you can afford his health insurance till he gets the work permit 

 

as for the OP

a US woman of limited financial resourses is not going to move to Tunisia as you know a US woman over 50 would not find a job there

I spent a month there looking for a house (in spring of 2008) and found one i liked and almost made the move /then i met my husband later in that year

it is easy to fall in love with Tunisian people  / the kids,  the young women and men are beautiful and i mean really beautiful

and the country the same 

i loved it

 

also forgot to mention in my many posts here

this process is 

not easy

not fast

not cheap ( i spent over $35,000 for the things immigration wanted me to do)

Yes my income is solid I’m a nurse practitioner and he will be added to my blue cross blue shield as soon as we marry ❤️  We are blessed really 

[Victores 1]

WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO NEGATIVE WITH THAT PERSON.

LOVE DOES NOT HAVE AGE, SKIN COLOR, RELIGION, OR WHATEVER.... ALL TUNISIAN ARE NOT MUSLIMS, THERE ARE CHRISTIANS AND JEWS EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE VERY MINORITARY.

THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO GET MARRIED AND GETTING APPROVAL FROM THE GOVERNMENT IS TOTALLY A DECISION DISCRETIONARY TO THE OFFICER WHO WILL HAVE TO CONDUCT THE INTERVIEW.

THE PRESIDENT OF FRANCE IS MARRIED WITH THE MOTHER OF HIS CLASSMATE, 

YOU ARE JUST MAKING JUDGMENTS AND THERE ARE VERY SUBJECTIVE.

IT IS NOT BECAUSE THAT DOES NOT WORK FOR X OR Y THAT IT WON'T WORK FOR THEM.

 

NOW I WILL ADVICE YOU SIR TO ASK YOUR FIANCE TO TRAVEL AGAIN AT LEAST TWO TIMES BEFORE TO FILL OUT THE FORM TO GET K1 VISA.

YOU KNOW BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART AND IF YOU ARE SINCERE GOD WILL ASSIST YOU.

[JeanneAdil 6,209]

21 minutes ago, Victores said:

WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO NEGATIVE WITH THAT PERSON.

LOVE DOES NOT HAVE AGE, SKIN COLOR, RELIGION, OR WHATEVER.... ALL TUNISIAN ARE NOT MUSLIMS, THERE ARE CHRISTIANS AND JEWS EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE VERY MINORITARY.

THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO GET MARRIED AND GETTING APPROVAL FROM THE GOVERNMENT IS TOTALLY A DECISION DISCRETIONARY TO THE OFFICER WHO WILL HAVE TO CONDUCT THE INTERVIEW.

THE PRESIDENT OF FRANCE IS MARRIED WITH THE MOTHER OF HIS CLASSMATE, 

YOU ARE JUST MAKING JUDGMENTS AND THERE ARE VERY SUBJECTIVE.

IT IS NOT BECAUSE THAT DOES NOT WORK FOR X OR Y THAT IT WON'T WORK FOR THEM.

 

NOW I WILL ADVICE YOU SIR TO ASK YOUR FIANCE TO TRAVEL AGAIN AT LEAST TWO TIMES BEFORE TO FILL OUT THE FORM TO GET K1 VISA.

YOU KNOW BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART AND IF YOU ARE SINCERE GOD WILL ASSIST YOU.

he said different religions and most in Tunisia are muslim/ it is premitted for a muslim man to marry a Christain of a Jew in these African muslim countries /i know as my husband is muslim and i am a Christain and when the judge asked me for my religion he said, Are you jewish or christain?

he asked if the big age difference would be an issue

he also said she is in a finacial crisis and coming for multiple visits????? will more than likely be an issue

 

Love doesn't know age and all the rest as you say

but immigration does

and we know Larry King married a woman 26 years younger than him

and i have a 20 year age difference but for years and years it was ok for an older man to marry a younger woman 

and is still frowned on for the older woman to marry a younger BOY

 

also is normal in his country to look for marriage and to marry but very unnormal to marry a divorced or widowed woman /  there are plenty of those in his country if that's what he wants

 

but in all honesty this VJ community is telling this poster what he faces 

and i know as i had the big age difference too 

took me 5 trips of a month to 3 months and a lot of money to get his visa 

This is honest

This comes from experience

and no one here is going to tell this OP that his process will be easy

Edited December 27, 2019 by JeanneAdil

[Deagle 494]

Discrimination against Oedipus Complex.

[cdneh 3,112]

32 minutes ago, Victores said:

WHY ARE YOU GUYS SO NEGATIVE WITH THAT PERSON.

LOVE DOES NOT HAVE AGE, SKIN COLOR, RELIGION, OR WHATEVER.... ALL TUNISIAN ARE NOT MUSLIMS, THERE ARE CHRISTIANS AND JEWS EVEN THOUGH THEY ARE VERY MINORITARY.

THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO GET MARRIED AND GETTING APPROVAL FROM THE GOVERNMENT IS TOTALLY A DECISION DISCRETIONARY TO THE OFFICER WHO WILL HAVE TO CONDUCT THE INTERVIEW.

THE PRESIDENT OF FRANCE IS MARRIED WITH THE MOTHER OF HIS CLASSMATE, 

YOU ARE JUST MAKING JUDGMENTS AND THERE ARE VERY SUBJECTIVE.

IT IS NOT BECAUSE THAT DOES NOT WORK FOR X OR Y THAT IT WON'T WORK FOR THEM.

 

NOW I WILL ADVICE YOU SIR TO ASK YOUR FIANCE TO TRAVEL AGAIN AT LEAST TWO TIMES BEFORE TO FILL OUT THE FORM TO GET K1 VISA.

YOU KNOW BETTER THAN ANYBODY ELSE WHAT IS IN YOUR HEART AND IF YOU ARE SINCERE GOD WILL ASSIST YOU.

No one is being negative with the OP. What they are being is honest. He faces a practically impossible uphill climb.  People are not judging him or their relationship, they are telling him the truth.

 

Perhaps as you say love does not see age, or religion or any of that, but I guarantee you Immigration does. I can also assure you wholeheartedly that god does not hand out Visa's.

 

The OP hasn't even met this woman, in some States she would be considered a senior citizen. People can certainly be different when you actually meet them, face to face, and not on a computer screen.

 

Edited December 27, 2019 by cdneh

[carmel34 3,531]

I understand all the negative comments about age gaps, my husband is 28 years younger than I am so we have heard everything you have all said and more from friends and family.  It just makes our love stronger.

 

The key to showing US immigration that the relationship is bona fide is evidence of time spent together and financial co-mingling documents.

 

Don't marry on the first visit.  I married my husband in Brazil on my fourth visit.  We needed time to get to know each other and make sure we were both committed to what we knew would be a long tough road.  I made four more visits to Brazil before his visa was approved, and we took a long trip to London and Paris together, plus a trip to bring him to California with me, so ten total visits.

 

For financial co-mingling, we did everything possible while living in two different countries---joint US tax return, will, living will, power of attorney, health insurance, dental insurance, beneficiary on retirement accounts, bank accounts, joint credit card, etc.

 

Your USC intended spouse needs to do the research on the US immigration process to know what it takes to succeed and make the sacrifices necessary to visit you more before getting married and filing a petition.  Then she will need to do more visits between the petition and visa interview (could be up to a year).  She needs the financial resources necessary to sponsor you, to pay for the process, to support you while you adjust and find a job.  Like any relationship, if the process is one-sided it won't last.

 

You need a long talk about a backup plan if you can't get a US visa.  Is she willing to move to Tunisia to live with you if your visa is denied?

 

Good luck with your journey.  The power of true love is amazing and life-changing.  I hope in your case it is true love.  Only time will tell.