Live separately affects AoS?

[Lisa93 0]

1 minute ago, belinda63 said:

My point is that the two of you aren't living together now so why do you need to be in the US?

Because I don’t want to be far from my husband like while I was waiting for K1 Visa in my country. 

[Hawksquill 151]

2 minutes ago, Lisa93 said:

Because I don’t want to be far from my husband like while I was waiting for K1 Visa in my country. 

But by most standards you are living quite far from your husband anyway, and you're not actually living as husband and wife, so why would you be granted a green card which is intended for the spouses of US citizens?

There are sometimes legitimate and sad reasons why married people in a bona fide marriage can't live together, but I really don't think this is one of them.  

[Rose711 35]

I don’t see how you will possibly pass an interview. You should expect to be denied unless something changes drastically. Not even living on the same island sounds very suspicious.

 

What do you have to even convince them this is a bona fide marriage?  Just saying you love your husband isn’t going to convince anyone.

Edited October 5, 2019 by Rose711

[ShayShayyy 44]

Also want to add that your friends husband having to work abroad is understandable and can be explained. You guys are choosing to live apart because your kids cant get along. Sounds like a scam. There’s No way they will believe you have a genuine marriage. 

[mytruelove18 607]

5 hours ago, Lisa93 said:

Everyone around us advise us that we should have live separately for Both kids. Not healthy life at all. Both are teenagers. 

My husband and I will see each other like once a month or so without kids. I know we would be asked a lot why we live separated but it can’t help. Or my son might hurt my husband’s son and vice versa. They want to kill each other. 

Here it is clear, that you and your husband didnt make a good job with your children.

Both of you fail on teach your children be respefull with all person which mean respect each other.

Maybe both arent the same, maybe is only one who is unrespecfull,  the one who is unrespecfull is the one who parent failed doing his or her job

[SalishSea 16,769]

3 hours ago, Lisa93 said:

We shouldn’t have involved them in our marriage. 

Huh?  What would that look like?  I can't imagine a marriage not involving minor children who still live at home and are dependent upon their parents.

 

Sounds more like the two of you don't really want to be married, but still want the GC.

[Lisa93 0]

36 minutes ago, Jorgedig said:

Huh?  What would that look like?  I can't imagine a marriage not involving minor children who still live at home and are dependent upon their parents.

 

Sounds more like the two of you don't really want to be married, but still want the GC.

I meant we should have waited until our kids grow up. We had decided to get married because we wanted to be together and boys were good for a while. 

We didn’t expect this situation so we tried to fix for a year but it worsened. My son and I might go back to my country. Thank you all. 

[Rosemichelle 69]

I agree as a counselor, you need to get professional advice concerning this. You do not need to be caught doing anything wrong that will  affect your immigration progress. Children really have a hard time dealing with change when it comes to living with new people. A professional can help to get to the bottom of the issue and come up with a plan of action. It was hard when I had my four foster children ranging from age 3-6, They all came from different backgrounds. I had to get them into therapy. I did the plan and it took a while; but,  by the time I looked up things worked out for the best. .

Good luck

[Duke & Marie 1,389]

14 hours ago, Lisa93 said:

We will move back together when our boys get independent after like 5-6years. 

5-6 years 😳 wow... 

 

My husbands daughter (21) came to Aus and lived here for a year on a work visa, she and my 17 yr old girl were like cat and dog, hated each other with passion... seriously talk about 24/7 pms nightmare... throwing things, braking stuff, slamming doors, yelling 🙉 

 

after 6 months and going crazy, my husband and I started arguing because of the many many disproportionate tails... so, I took them the local boxing club, threw some gloves at them and said call me when the problems solved, because I be damned if I have brats who can’t get along cause me to argue with my hubby.... 3 hours and 1 black eye later..... All’s good, problem solved... 

[Going through 5,668]

9 hours ago, Lisa93 said:

My husband doesn’t want to let them to get counseling.

9 hours ago, Lisa93 said:

but my husband is actually an counselor... that’s why he doesn’t want to get counseling

This makes no sense to me.  Your husband is a counselor...but doesn't believe in the benefit of his children receiving counseling?

 

6 hours ago, Lisa93 said:

tHE RFE is just a small mistakes that we missed the signature on it. 

This also is puzzling.  The first AOS was denied due to a RFE for a missed signature, and you somehow weren't able to resubmit the form (all you had to do was sign it) within the 60-90 days or whatever the RFE allowed?  Sounds like one of the easiest RFE's to respond to in time. 

 

Your circumstances sound very familiar to another recent thread here.

[Nitas_man 3,100]

11 hours ago, MorganandMichael said:

Violent, angry boys grow into violent angry men. And please ignore the earlier suggestion of force as a means to getting them to behave. There is so much research out there now about the negative results of parental violence, even as a means of punishment/behavior. But if your husband is a counselor he should know all this and it’s frankly concerning from a professional standpoint that he is letting all this occur.

 

It isn’t winter.  Too early for snow.
 

A well timed spanking now pales in comparison to the takedown those boys are looking at if they act this way at work or school.  
 

We (parents) hear and read this a lot.  Our experience is that advice like this originates from households who are raising theoretical kids on google or siri or alexa but haven’t actually raised any of their own.  We ignore it, teach the kids right and wrong, set the rules, hold ‘em to it, grow them up, and send them on their way.

 

Mine?  An engineer, a nurse, and a straight A here at home attending college.  Ask Alexa how that happens and please give us some stories about your own successful outcomes because to (real) parents research papers don’t really mean anything and generally originate from an industry who profits billions by making sure parents do a bad job then compensate for that bad job by turning to them for “help”.
 

Summary:  I don’t remember the last time a spanking happened (it’s extremely rare) but if our 6 or 10 yr old need one they know its locked away in the toolbox and we’ll take it out, dust it off, and deliver it if needed.  Nothing personal but I’ve yet to have a doctor or counselor or anyone else profit from my failure to make sure my kids don’t know right from wrong or choose to make the wrong choices. 
 

With that said tell siri thanks for the advice!  LOL

[Nitas_man 3,100]

4 hours ago, Duke & Marie said:

5-6 years 😳 wow... 

 

My husbands daughter (21) came to Aus and lived here for a year on a work visa, she and my 17 yr old girl were like cat and dog, hated each other with passion... seriously talk about 24/7 pms nightmare... throwing things, braking stuff, slamming doors, yelling 🙉 

 

after 6 months and going crazy, my husband and I started arguing because of the many many disproportionate tails... so, I took them the local boxing club, threw some gloves at them and said call me when the problems solved, because I be damned if I have brats who can’t get along cause me to argue with my hubby.... 3 hours and 1 black eye later..... All’s good, problem solved... 

LOL - I like this.  

Added to the parental toolbox

[Rose711 35]

9 hours ago, Moe428 said:

 

Is this actually true in general?  There are very specific cases where this is fine.  One example could be attending university.  In my case, my wife had to move to another state because she's doing her residency (after which she'll become a doctor) for 3 years.  If you have other strong evidence to prove you have a bonafide marriage, such as owning a house together, mortgage, jointly filed taxes, joint health insurance, joint car insurance, plane tickets, etc to see your spouse, etc, I don't see why that'd be a problem.  Again, not speaking about OP in particular because the reasoning doesn't appear reasonable.

 

We had friends in graduate school who lived apart because they were in different PhD programs in different schools in different states.  They met during undergrad.

 

They had a lot of questions about their marriage but they were approved. They had a real relationship. So it’s not a deal breaker if you don’t live together for reasons relating to jobs or education.

 

Choosing to live apart because your kids don’t get along is not going to work. 

[Prizm123 1,084]

 

literally all i see

[Rose711 35]

I wanted to know what evidence they have of a legit marriage but OP hasn’t answered.