Do not Ignore Obvious Signs

[Crazy Cat 39,213]

2 minutes ago, Bynx24 said:

Do I give a reason or just say I want to withdraw?

 

You can say "possible fraud", but I don't think you have to give a reason.   @Boiler

Edited May 6, 2019 by missileman

[SanjaAlex 248]

38 minutes ago, Bynx24 said:

For the sake of anonymity I have created a new account with the hopes of sharing my current situation and possibly helping someone else. I am an active member on here and do not and will not share any personal details so do not ask because I am not sharing, all I will say is that he is from a high fraud country.

 

My situation is the following:

 

I caught my husband talking to women and on dating sites, he has displayed countless times that when we are okay he is faithful, when we have a disagreement or argument he flies to open a dating app and starts talking to others. I didn't want to believe that he was just in it for a green card but I should've gone with what was being shown to me. He showed me that he was ungrateful, disrespectful and childish yet I chose to continue, I am a beautiful woman so for those people always talking about red flag this or that, I am young and good looking with a great job and personality. He put up the best of farces to get what he ultimately wanted. I have now cut the cord and moving forward, I am not a weak person and do not accept BS, this is cut with no return. Hoping that you ladies open your eyes to the signs and if it doesn't feel right is because it isn't.

 

Good luck to all on your journeys.

 

Amber

I'm so sorry you had to go through something like this, I believe it's heartbreaking... But it's better this way, for you and your future. I love the confidence you have, that's the way to go girl! Just stay positive, think positive and take necessary steps to withdraw the petition. 

Wish you a wonderful future! 

[Amadia 711]

8 minutes ago, Bynx24 said:

We are waiting for his interview with the consulate, he is not here yet.

Then you can withdraw your application by contacting USCIS or NVC and letting them know that you suspect visa fraud and you are not willing to continue with the application.

[Bynx24 72]

Just now, SanjaAlex said:

I'm so sorry you had to go through something like this, I believe it's heartbreaking... But it's better this way, for you and your future. I love the confidence you have, that's the way to go girl! Just stay positive, think positive and take necessary steps to withdraw the petition. 

Wish you a wonderful future! 

You are soooooooooo sweet! Thank you dear, I truly hope the same, it feels earth shattering right now, but I didn't follow my own advice and ignored things that I shouldn't have, either way there's no way but up and out, thanksss again

 

[Crazy Cat 39,213]

1 minute ago, Amadia said:

Then you can withdraw your application by contacting USCIS or NVC and letting them know that you suspect visa fraud and you are not willing to continue with the application.

I would also contact the embassy/consulate.......hopefully that will stop any interview from being scheduled/conducted.....

[bakphx1 785]

So, a question to you.   Sometimes I see questions posted by women with fiancées/spouses in high fraud countries and the situation sounds like textbook fraud.   I used to point this out, but the response is always angry and they are in love and we’re different, etc.   Is there anything you would say to these people in the future or can you not talk someone down from that?

[Bynx24 72]

Just now, bakphx1 said:

So, a question to you.   Sometimes I see questions posted by women with fiancées/spouses in high fraud countries and the situation sounds like textbook fraud.   I used to point this out, but the response is always angry and they are in love and we’re different, etc.   Is there anything you would say to these people in the future or can you not talk someone down from that?

Good question, I was one of those saying that it couldn't happen to me because I was this or that and we were real etc AND believe me, I have no advice tbh, the Oscar nominated type performance was so convincing that it didn't even cross my mind. As a left brained individual I was skeptical from the beginning, but as time progressed and we interacted and I experienced the feelings amongst us, I was convinced, these freaking con artists are so good, whoa, I mean good. Anything for the green card, next time around if there is one, I will stick with my good ole' American man !

[junkmart 320]

25 minutes ago, Bynx24 said:

Do I give a reason or just say I want to withdraw?

 

Just withdraw. They won't care that he might be a potential cheater. And you haven't mentioned any concrete proof that he was using you just for a green card. Cheating alone doesn't equal fraud. Sorry this happened to you. Best of luck!

Edited May 6, 2019 by junkmart

[Bynx24 72]

1 minute ago, junkmart said:

Just withdraw. They won't care that he might be a potential cheater. And you haven't mentioned any concrete proof that he was using you just for a green card. Sorry this happened to you. Best of luck!

His being a cheater or in it for a greencard is irrelevant in my decision, the point is that I do not want to marry a piece of #######. I will say though, I believe the consulate would think differently, especially when I confronted him and he said, "too late, I am on to the next" and he has an open dating site now with his picture right smack in the middle, but this is irrelevant, I will not stoop that low, I will let life take care of him and me I will move on.

[cyclone27 710]

Well if it’s fraud I would say he is not very good at it. Normally it happens after Greencard is in hand. 

[Crazy Cat 39,213]

2 minutes ago, Bynx24 said:

I believe the consulate would think differently, especially when I confronted him and he said, "too late, I am on to the next"

What a scumbag!!!!!!!!   Sounds like classic fraud......

[Bynx24 72]

2 minutes ago, cyclone27 said:

Well if it’s fraud I would say he is not very good at it. Normally it happens after Greencard is in hand. 

Exactly!!!! This is the part that blows my mind!

[bakphx1 785]

I wonder if cheating was his goal.  Here and other places I’ve seen women say that the husband from some of these countries would keep going on dating sites, and not just looking for the opposite sex.  Gay sites were fair game.  I started to think these guys worked at being good at bamboozling people on dating sites, and that’s how they spent their days before up to getting the green card.   Kind of like the gambler who gambles away his million dollar jackpot.

 

 I wonder if they are so conditioned to do that , they can’t stop.

 

 

[junkmart 320]

5 minutes ago, bakphx1 said:

I wonder if cheating was his goal.  Here and other places I’ve seen women say that the husband from some of these countries would keep going on dating sites, and not just looking for the opposite sex.  Gay sites were fair game.  I started to think these guys worked at being good at bamboozling people on dating sites, and that’s how they spent their days before up to getting the green card.   Kind of like the gambler who gambles away his million dollar jackpot.

 

 I wonder if they are so conditioned to do that , they can’t stop.

 

 

I think the constant attention that one can get on dating sites creates a sort of addiction. When I was dating and on dating apps, there was a constant urge to check in and see new messages, who was on, etc.  IMO, some guys (and women) are unable to give this behavior up. The draw of something new and better is too strong. In most cases, though, I wouldn't say that doing this is fraud. To me, it's cheating.

Edited May 6, 2019 by junkmart

[Dashinka 23,235]

Interesting, didn't we just have a similar thread with a similar story.

 

To the OP, you are lucky you found out before the visa phase had completed.