Wife wants to lie

[Clara B. 119]

You should really consider cancelling your i864. You do not want to be financially responsible for her if she manages to get the green card. You also should consider a divorce. And make sure everytine you meet her you have always a witness in case she accuse you of being abbusive or anything.

[bakphx1 785]

To me it would be a no-brainer.  Immediate divorce, withdraw sponsorship and tell her I'd go with her to the interview to support her  so she'd let me know when it was, (assuming it's before the divorce) and then tell them the truth once there.  Even bringing printed texts to show she's a conniving cheat and played you and the USCIS.   Not sure the timing of how this will play out as to which would happen first.  But if someone took away my availability to be in a loving marriage, cost me the money and energy to get a visa and played me like that and didn't care about me, I would do all that and sleep good knowing I did the right thing.  

[Andsco 89]

4 hours ago, LumbertJones said:

I entered into what I thought was a good faith marriage with a girl I actually loved. I thought we would be living together when she came here; but the moment she arrived she moved in with her sister. 

She now wants me to lie during our AoS interview to say that she does live with me.

I've only hung out with her a handful of times in the past 10 months which in itself is upsetting. She has made it clear that she will never live with me. She's totally in this for the G/C alone. 

 

It's crazy how quickly she changed after stepping foot on US soil. 

 

Any advice on what to do?

As the person who came into the US from another country, I find disgusting the people that lies and comes into the US to scam others in order to get something (in this case the GC). So with that said, I would advice you to go to the interview and tell all the truth. No one deserves to be lied and played like that, you deserve better than that. 

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

2 hours ago, T_P said:

Just dont see how a relationship can last that long doing that road....

 

It is the same delusion that allowed them to think the relationship was real to start out with.  Some people just believe in the best in others and don't want to see the truth.

[Taden 44]

I hate seeing stories like this :(...ppl can b so wicked! Anyways, Dont lie for her! Either u dont go to interview or withdraw ur sponsorship using a letter like the others say. Best of luck to u Lambert

[javadown2 308]

I'm guessing this is a troll post, nothing really adds up....why in the world would you even follow through with her AOS if you knew it wasn't working out? I suppose it's just your ego at this point. Try to withdraw your application, and divorce...no sense letting her drag you down even more. 

[x_driven_x 1,778]

5 minutes ago, javadown2 said:

I'm guessing this is a troll post, nothing really adds up....why in the world would you even follow through with her AOS if you knew it wasn't working out? I suppose it's just your ego at this point. Try to withdraw your application, and divorce...no sense letting her drag you down even more. 

I know it's hard to believe... but I have a lot of friends married to, dating, or interested in dating foreign women... and on that outside edge of that friend group are a bunch of guys salivating to find a beautiful foreign wife. They're fed up with dating American women and believe that a foreign wife will make all the difference, will be younger, beautiful, not fight, all sorts of things... and anyway, my point is that hope blinds them to A LOT of red flags that they ignore and become easy targets for scammers. And the sad thing is, when you try to do them a favor and point it out, they rebuff you and double down... they don't want anything to burst their bubble.

 

We could go on for days talking about that and the psychology around it and what's right and wrong, but my point is that there are a ton of people out there "on a mission" to find someone to marry, and that makes them easy targets.

 

I can totally believe this is a real post, by a person who kept holding out hope despite was were obvious red flags to anyone else.

[Aster 24]

3 hours ago, Ahmed&Freda said:

You could file i129 as a k3 but it's a waste of time.  Your cr1 will most likely approve before the k3 canceling it out.  I tried it myself and had no luck and have not seen one k3 get approved since I've been on this journey.

After how many days you applied! 

[RO_AH 1,625]

4 hours ago, ThomasNC1988 said:

I know the feeling man I eat less than 50 grams of carbs a day so I'm the guy in Chic-fil-a with a grilled chicken salad and diet Dr. Pepper drooling at every one else's breaded friend chicken and waffles fries with a little tear in my eye.

Don't feel bad I am on 20 grams or less carbs a day.

[RO_AH 1,625]

4 hours ago, T_P said:

If you divorce her, she will have no legal cause for Adjustment and it will be denied, making her removable from the country since the K-1 cannot be extended or changed to another status.

Forget the divorce and go for annulment. The marriage was not consummated or as they say here no test drive so you can get an annulment.

[Meanis 7]

6 hours ago, LumbertJones said:

I entered into what I thought was a good faith marriage with a girl I actually loved. I thought we would be living together when she came here; but the moment she arrived she moved in with her sister. 

She now wants me to lie during our AoS interview to say that she does live with me.

I've only hung out with her a handful of times in the past 10 months which in itself is upsetting. She has made it clear that she will never live with me. She's totally in this for the G/C alone. 

 

It's crazy how quickly she changed after stepping foot on US soil. 

 

Any advice on what to do?

What a scam! Do you know that she was thinking a months/years ahead that once you fall in love and marry her, will bring her on the US soil , she will leave you like a dog. 

And than ask you- oh well, could you lie for me and pretend like i didnt scam you? 

Its incredible how someone can go so far.

IF i am you, i wouldt lie and i wouldt show up, period. However, i would make an appointment at USCIS, like someone else said here and tell them about this scam.

you seems to be nice person, especially if you still considered lying (bc you asked here),so i would also assume she still can manipulate w you. If so, (and thats your choice)-  i would not tell her anything about your uscis appt and also that you dont go w her, to keep her calm. Because if she would know, she would put (maybe w her sister) all kinda tactics to threat you to do so, or might even herself make an appointment at uscis and say lies about you treating her so bad.

Man, i am really sorry what happened to you. Its scary how many people are used this way and i am not surprised that the process take so long for bona fides. 

 

[x_driven_x 1,778]

7 hours ago, LumbertJones said:

I entered into what I thought was a good faith marriage with a girl I actually loved. I thought we would be living together when she came here; but the moment she arrived she moved in with her sister. 

She now wants me to lie during our AoS interview to say that she does live with me.

I've only hung out with her a handful of times in the past 10 months which in itself is upsetting. She has made it clear that she will never live with me. She's totally in this for the G/C alone. 

 

It's crazy how quickly she changed after stepping foot on US soil. 

 

Any advice on what to do?

First, it's clear that she is not your "wife", you are her sucker. She's playing you to get what she wants, and she probably has no qualms about also using her to support her if she can manage to get a green card - because of the affadavit of support your promised to do so.

 

So, you need to do whatever you need to do to unwind this. Possibly get help from a lawyer.

 

I'm sorry you've wasted time and energy and money, but that is now gone and you need to focus on protecting your future. Please, in the future don't wait so long trying to decide if there's a problem. If your wife won't live with you, that's a problem dude.

 

1) If you are already married, get a divorce or even better, an annulment if it was recent.

 

2) See what you can do to withdraw your support.

 

3) Go to the interview and tell them the truth. That it turns out she deceived you and only wants a green card, and you want to do what you can to free yourself from this mess.

 

Now... they are probably going to question how you didn't see this before; and you''re just going to have to swallow your pride and be honest that you were deceived. 

 

Good luck! 

[MacUK 983]

5 hours ago, sema said:

The country she from is not really important, coz then you start to stereotype, there is good and bad pple in every country.

The guy just got a really raw deal

The country can be important, and yes it's because of stereotyping. It's nothing to do with some countries being "good" or "bad" though, you're right, there's good and bad in all countries.

But knowing the country can give an idea how to proceed as it can suggest how the spouse might proceed in their scam. Some countries tend toward the spouse just disappearing under the radar whereas some countries tend to be more prone to abusing VAWA to achieve their aims. Scammers are coached in ways to attract USC victims, and then once married they are coached in how to accuse their spouse of abuse if the spouse doesn't cooperate with getting the greencard.

 

OP, withdraw your AOS, do not lie. But just as importantly, NEVER spend any time alone with your spouse, or any time only in the company of her family or friends (they're just as likely to lie for her as she is). Keep records of all communications you have with her, especially any where she's asking you to lie for her.

There's also a good chance that if she feels that you won't help her then she may try to convince you that she wants to be with you. No matter how much you might like to believe her it will just be the next part of her plan.

[sema 26]

50 minutes ago, MacUK said:

The country can be important, and yes it's because of stereotyping. It's nothing to do with some countries being "good" or "bad" though, you're right, there's good and bad in all countries.

But knowing the country can give an idea how to proceed as it can suggest how the spouse might proceed in their scam. Some countries tend toward the spouse just disappearing under the radar whereas some countries tend to be more prone to abusing VAWA to achieve their aims. Scammers are coached in ways to attract USC victims, and then once married they are coached in how to accuse their spouse of abuse if the spouse doesn't cooperate with getting the greencard.

 

OP, withdraw your AOS, do not lie. But just as importantly, NEVER spend any time alone with your spouse, or any time only in the company of her family or friends (they're just as likely to lie for her as she is). Keep records of all communications you have with her, especially any where she's asking you to lie for her.

There's also a good chance that if she feels that you won't help her then she may try to convince you that she wants to be with you. No matter how much you might like to believe her it will just be the next part of her plan.

I disagree country is not important, starting with America recently you see the high profiles, politicians and celebrities lying left and right. Then the truth comes out. Right now its the time for tell all!! For all the women who have been sexually harassed. And what are the culprits saying or are they,  even close to resignation or any of that? Nothing. 

So even though pple are trying to immigrate to America that does'nt mean that we are all straight here, we got crooks here too.

This guy is still in love even at this point he is writing the mail he is not for sure he wants to leave the girl. After reading all the posts pple have warned him if he don't take the advice he will get burnt. But life is all about lessons, you live and learn.

[NikLR 13,220]

Women from eastern Asian countries tend to be well versed in VAWA compared to eastern Europe, South Asia, MENA or Africa. 

 

But scammers come from every country including the USA who scam beneficiaries. 

Edited November 18, 2017 by NikLR