How did your spouse make you feel welcomed when you arrived?

[Zoeeeeeee 797]

Yes. 

 

If your husband has only slightly evolved from Neanderthalism, then absolutely, the only things his brain will comprehend will be sex and food 🤷‍♀️. Of course, if he's developed a little more than that, you know, and has thoughts, feelings, intelligence, etc, you may want to factor those things in too.

 

100% make sure there is space for him to unpack his stuff - buy another closet if needs be - there is nothing more rubbish than trying to settle somewhere and feeling like there isn't actually room or a place for you. And he probably won't just be bringing clothes either - make sure there's room for his toiletries, his photos, etc.

 

I also very much felt that I was moving into my husband's home - rather than it being our place - so my husband made a point of saying, how do we make this feel more like your home - shall we decorate - do you want to put pictures up, replace furniture, cushions, etc?

 

A nice dinner etc is always good and shows you care - but factor in that he may be ravenous and tired after the long journey and take plenty of snacks. 

 

My husband had also bought me a new mobile phone and set it up on his contract. It was in glove box when he picked me up - it was nice to have a surprise gift to open whilst we were driving home and also reassuring to have my husband tell me 'here's a new phone, so you can keep in touch with everyone'.

 

Speaking of keeping in touch - be prepared for your spouse to need time to speak with his family and friends, maybe even every day. It's natural that he'll miss them.

 

And yes, as someone mentioned above, it's a great idea to take your spouse to some places where he might want to go to to make friends or that might have cultural or religious significance to him - or at least research the places and let him know there are options that you've looked into. On day one, I just wanted to rest after my long flight - and on day 2, I was unpacking and trying to settle I'm - but on day 3, I absolutely wanted to explore. We drove to Vegas on day 3 to run a half marathon, but I appreciate that may not be everyone's cup of tea 😆.

 

But yeah, day 1 is tiring, so this is more like a week 1 thing, spread out 🙂.

[Mike E 11,730]

18 hours ago, kaylahm23 said:

Hey all,

I was looking for some ideas about the best way to make my hubby feel welcomed when he arrives in the states! What were somethings you did or your partner did that made you feel welcomed? Did you give gifts? Did you clean out a dresser? Did they make sure the house was clean? What was something that made your transition easier and also made you feel loved?  I think it'd be nice to have a positive topic with some cool arrival stories. 

Of course cleaned ahead of time.

 

Cleared out half of our  main bedroom's closet, bought new clothes hangers, added a closet rod, got her a new dresser that was 100% hers, set up the main bathroom shower with shelves so that there would be room for her shampoos etc. Also since she comes from a tropical country, bought a heavier quilt for use during the winter.

 

Stocked a few days  of the food I thought she'd like.

 

Set up a key ring for her own house and mail box key.

Organized some dinners with some of my friends to introduce my friends to her.

 

After a couple days took her shopping, Mostly for groceries so she could make the food she liked.

I think the welcome home banner is a great idea that I wished I had thought of.

[Marieke H 2,365]

1 minute ago, Mike E said:

Of course cleaned ahead of time.

 

Cleared out half of our  main bedroom's closet, bought new clothes hangers, added a closet rod, got her a new dresser that was 100% hers, set up the main bathroom shower with shelves so that there would be room for her shampoos etc. Also since she comes from a tropical country, bought a heavier quilt for use during the winter.

 

Stocked a few days  of the food I thought she'd like.

 

Set up a key ring for her own house and mail box key.

Organized some dinners with some of my friends to introduce my friends to her.

 

After a couple days took her shopping, Mostly for groceries so she could make the food she liked.

I think the welcome home banner is a great idea that I wished I had thought of.

I think you did great! All these things are very thoughtful.

[JeanneAdil 6,303]

i think some of the welcome comes before the person arrives

i had him learn to drive and get driving license in his country so we were able to get a license here fast

we went the first weeks to see some waterfalls and sites in the area and learn his way around

my son gave him a jeep so he had his own car and didn't need to depend on me (1st day)/ he could drive on his license for a month

GPS so he could go anywhere without me and find his way back

 

Foods , I try,  but i still can't cook like momma

and he likes to cook so i let him arrange the kitchen

 

i had emptied a dresser for him and one side of the closet

Got him on my cell plan so he could talk to family

 

no outside banner as my husband is a private person

 

 

[neca 166]

I think this absolutely depends on your knowledge of who your partner is as a person. Someone more reserved/introverted is probably going to appreciate a different experience than an extroverted person. It might be a good idea to research yours and your partner's love languages to see just what best expresses love for both of you.

 

I'm not at that stage in my process and we will be returning together when we get there, but when my now-spouse came over to the US for us to marry I surprised him with his favourite American snack food to eat on the four hour drive and an overnight trip to Ocean City. He reeeeally likes baths, so I got him one of those hotel rooms with a whirlpool tub in it. We are both really introverted, so I figured I could kill two birds with one stone showing him one of the places I loved/have history with that is calming, and to let him get a little bit used to being in America before going home to my parents and all of the social situations that would follow.

 

It's really sweet of you to even be thinking of him, I'm sure that whatever you end up doing will be great! 

[Ed&Midori1031 330]

21 hours ago, kaylahm23 said:

Hey all,

I was looking for some ideas about the best way to make my hubby feel welcomed when he arrives in the states! What were somethings you did or your partner did that made you feel welcomed? Did you give gifts? Did you clean out a dresser? Did they make sure the house was clean? What was something that made your transition easier and also made you feel loved?  I think it'd be nice to have a positive topic with some cool arrival stories. 

My wife was to be coming to Seattle, but her point of entry was Atlanta, so I made sure I had met her there in Atlanta so I can greet her at the gate, and fly together up to Seattle.  

 

At the house, I had a big American flag on the wall above the dining room table, red white and blue balloons and also an American flag balloon that said "welcome!" In the bedroom, I had a HUGE bouquet of roses ready for her on the dresser. 

 

I made sure that her finally arriving was an important event for me. 

 

(And the house was clean, and made room in the dresser haha)

[MarryMe987654 243]

This brings back memories!

 

My husband has been renovating the bedroom and the bathroom for my arrival. He bought new bed, got me a dresser, repainted the wall, fixed the floor, among others. He worked really hard on it and I was very impressed and flattered with the effort.

 

He picked me up from the airport, stopped by Whattaburger and came home to a living room with banners, "best day ever' decorations, flowers on the table. It was so adorable.

 

He also put pictures of me in the bedroom and it made me feel welcome and at home 🥰

[Marthaeu 39]

20 hours ago, rlogan said:

This is a man.   Feed him and have sex every day.  

 

Apparently my wife and I are still off the charts 13 years after marrying.  We can't figure out what's wrong with people.   Use it or lose it, lol!

Apart from all this if he has not been to your city before, I would take a week off and give him a good tour .

[Siddsgal 80]

This is such a wonderful topic, thank you OP for this!!! My hubby is coming from India and I’ll be over there for his interview, I refuse to leave him there again, it’s time for him to suffer through that 20 hour flight with me😂. 

I live in WI which is gonna be quite the temperature shock so I’ve been on eBay or similar sites looking for good deals for clothes for him, it’s been really fun for us to do this cuz it feels like we are at least doing things to work towards our future while we wait for our interview. My hubby’s pixelated head goes with me everywhere and out of everything he’s seen, what he’s most looking forward to is trying beef so im welcoming him to America by treating him to an overpriced McDonalds Big Mac meal at the airport😂. My husband is not a typical Indian in a lot of ways and one of those ways is that he hates spicy and Indian food so American food, particularly beef, is my welcome gift for him😂.

We’ve been doing as much as we can to get things done before he arrives, he’s only wanting to bring a suitcase of stuff with him so I’m trying to get all the belongings he’ll need as I can afford it. 

My folks and brother are anxious to meet my hubby in person so they’ll probably pick us up from airport if it ain’t chore time (they’re dairy farmers) and I’d bet my daughter will have some sorta welcome home sign made for him. My daughter loves my husband and he loves her, we’re the only family he has, so the 3 of us just being together again will be the best welcome for him♥️. 

 

Once his belly is full and my daughter and him have gotten their fill of each other, lots of sex😂

[Wcalmt1 34]

I have an Idea of what I want to do for my wife and daughters.  Carrying her across the threshold, for one.  I already have remodeled the house, to include extra closet space, and have bought extra dressers. I did consult her in the process also, choosing colors etc.   I feel she already feels welcome.  I just need to get her here!

[George & Roth 1,485]

22 hours ago, kaylahm23 said:

Hey all,

I was looking for some ideas about the best way to make my hubby feel welcomed when he arrives in the states! What were somethings you did or your partner did that made you feel welcomed? Did you give gifts? Did you clean out a dresser? Did they make sure the house was clean? What was something that made your transition easier and also made you feel loved?  I think it'd be nice to have a positive topic with some cool arrival stories. 

1) Found Asian food stores so we could buy and make food she was accustomed to. Bought Rice cooker before she arrived. I think this was huge, she would have hated only American-style food

2) Had her pick some things on Amazon & Furniture store for around the house. I moved into a new place so she had much input 

3) Describe the area (i.e. 7-11 is near, ShopRite is near, NYC is 45 minutes, train is walkable, etc..) and give a tour or the neighborhood

4) After she was over the jetlag and ready, have some fun by taking them to some local tourist attractions

[Dashinka 23,421]

3 hours ago, JeanneAdil said:

i think some of the welcome comes before the person arrives

i had him learn to drive and get driving license in his country so we were able to get a license here fast

we went the first weeks to see some waterfalls and sites in the area and learn his way around

my son gave him a jeep so he had his own car and didn't need to depend on me (1st day)/ he could drive on his license for a month

GPS so he could go anywhere without me and find his way back

 

Foods , I try,  but i still can't cook like momma

and he likes to cook so i let him arrange the kitchen

 

i had emptied a dresser for him and one side of the closet

Got him on my cell plan so he could talk to family

 

no outside banner as my husband is a private person

 

 

Completely agree, the adjustment should start prior to arrival.  In our case we were planning a wedding, and every decision was a joint decision.  Then when finally coming over we found a route direct to Detroit so she would not have to deal with a transfer after arrival.  Beyond that, I made sure she felt this was her home as well, we videochatted so she could at least get an idea of the layout before arrival, and of course I made sure there was plenty of space for her.  The driving lessons had to wait until after arrival, but we commenced that soon after, and with the help of GPS, she was soon quite independent.

[kaylahm23 16]

30 minutes ago, Siddsgal said:

This is such a wonderful topic, thank you OP for this!!! My hubby is coming from India and I’ll be over there for his interview, I refuse to leave him there again, it’s time for him to suffer through that 20 hour flight with me😂. 

I live in WI which is gonna be quite the temperature shock so I’ve been on eBay or similar sites looking for good deals for clothes for him, it’s been really fun for us to do this cuz it feels like we are at least doing things to work towards our future while we wait for our interview. My hubby’s pixelated head goes with me everywhere and out of everything he’s seen, what he’s most looking forward to is trying beef so im welcoming him to America by treating him to an overpriced McDonalds Big Mac meal at the airport😂. My husband is not a typical Indian in a lot of ways and one of those ways is that he hates spicy and Indian food so American food, particularly beef, is my welcome gift for him😂.

We’ve been doing as much as we can to get things done before he arrives, he’s only wanting to bring a suitcase of stuff with him so I’m trying to get all the belongings he’ll need as I can afford it. 

My folks and brother are anxious to meet my hubby in person so they’ll probably pick us up from airport if it ain’t chore time (they’re dairy farmers) and I’d bet my daughter will have some sorta welcome home sign made for him. My daughter loves my husband and he loves her, we’re the only family he has, so the 3 of us just being together again will be the best welcome for him♥️. 

 

Once his belly is full and my daughter and him have gotten their fill of each other, lots of sex😂

My hubby is also Indian and we will be living in MN so we'll  be super close to you guys! I know he doesn't  want a welcome party cause he's super introverted. I think that's why I've been drawing a blank cause I know what I would want if i was moving but some people are different! His love languages are quaility time and physical touch so I'm thinking a night in, candles, cakes, flowers, a banner, and champagne. He is super particular about what he wears and uses so I will take him shopping once he is here. Then I think maybe set up for romantic time!

[kaylahm23 16]

3 hours ago, neca said:

I think this absolutely depends on your knowledge of who your partner is as a person. Someone more reserved/introverted is probably going to appreciate a different experience than an extroverted person. It might be a good idea to research yours and your partner's love languages to see just what best expresses love for both of you.

 

I'm not at that stage in my process and we will be returning together when we get there, but when my now-spouse came over to the US for us to marry I surprised him with his favourite American snack food to eat on the four hour drive and an overnight trip to Ocean City. He reeeeally likes baths, so I got him one of those hotel rooms with a whirlpool tub in it. We are both really introverted, so I figured I could kill two birds with one stone showing him one of the places I loved/have history with that is calming, and to let him get a little bit used to being in America before going home to my parents and all of the social situations that would follow.

 

It's really sweet of you to even be thinking of him, I'm sure that whatever you end up doing will be great! 

I agree. His love languages are physical touch and quality time. I'm more of an extrovert and he is definitely more of an introvert.  So all the things I would like to do would be not always be his cup of tea, which is why I was drawing a blank! 😂 He does have his license already and I teach drivers education, so he will definitely be able to get an American one! When I visited him, I wasn't nervous at all because we were on his turf. Now we are on mine and I'm getting game day jitters.😂

[TBoneTX 43,531]

If I find my contributions to the many previous threads on this topic, I'll post them.

 

To the enthusiastic ideas already stated, I'll add some cautions:

  1.  Do not (do not!) overwhelm an introvert.  This time is stressful enough.

  2.  Feed (simply) and let sleep.  Everything else can wait.

  3.  The traveler might be ill upon arrival, so have some cough/cold medicine, aspirin, etc. on hand.

  4.  Consider that a clean house, room to unpack/move in, and no fanfare might be 100% appropriate.

 

If you envision a lifetime together, consider taking it easy at first, the adrenaline and excitement aside.