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proudtobabritgirl

Relocation blues

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Senegal
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19 hours ago, proudtobabritgirl said:

So I've been here six weeks and the relocation blues has just hit me pretty damn hard. I didn't expect it to hit me so soon. For the past few days I just feel terrible. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb here. Everyone comments on my accent and I just feel uncomfortable :(

Any tips from people who have felt this way? 

Hi.  I understand just how you must be feeling.  I am a USC now, however when I first got to US, I couldn't speak English & everything was so different for me.  Some people would say that I talk funny or strange because of my accent.  I would cry & cry until I got tired & would go to sleep.  As time passed, those same people who were making fun of me got to know me better & pretty soon I was okay with most of them.  All I can tell you is that give yourself time & make friends.  Things usually work out.  Sending hugs your way.    

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
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I'm kinda on the flipside---English is my mother tongue and I speak it with no accent....yet, living in NY people automatically think I don't speak English and only understand Spanish (based on my "looks and skin colour", I've been told by many).  I don't understand a word of Spanish, don't have a Hispanic background. 😕 

 

For what it's worth---British accents are amazing!  

Applied for Naturalization based on 5-year Residency - 96 Days To Complete Citizenship!

July 14, 2017 (Day 00) -  Submitted N400 Application, filed online

July 21, 2017 (Day 07) -  NOA Receipt received in the mail

July 22, 2017 (Day 08) - Biometrics appointment scheduled online, letter mailed out

July 25, 2017 (Day 11) - Biometrics PDF posted online

July 28, 2017 (Day 14) - Biometrics letter received in the mail, appointment for 08/08/17

Aug 08, 2017 (Day 24) - Biometrics (fingerprinting) completed

Aug 14, 2017 (Day 30) - Online EGOV status shows "Interview Scheduled, will mail appointment letter"

Aug 16, 2017 (Day 32) - Online MYUSCIS status shows "Interview Scheduled, read the letter we mailed you..."

Aug 17, 2017 (Day 33) - Interview Appointment Letter PDF posted online---GOT AN INTERVIEW DATE!!!

Aug 21, 2017 (Day 37) - Interview Appointment Letter received in the mail, appointment for 09/27/17

Sep. 27, 2017 (Day 74) - Naturalization Interview--- read my experience here

Sep. 27, 2017 (Day 74) - Online MYUSCIS status shows "Oath Ceremony Notice mailed"

Sep. 28, 2017 (Day 75) - Oath Ceremony Letter PDF posted online--Ceremony for 10/19/17

Oct. 02, 2017 (Day 79) -  Oath Ceremony Letter received in the mail

Oct. 19, 2017 (Day 96) -  Oath Ceremony-- read my experience here

 

 

 

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Oh I also meant to add something about accents too! 

 

Yes, you are going to hear “I love your accent” a gazillion times a week. Every time I open my mouth I hear it. It’s a compliment and people don’t realize how awkward it is for us to keep hearing that. I find it to be a conversation killer. What am I supposed to say? Am I supposed to say I love something of theirs too? If someone says “I love your dress” or “I love that perfume you’re wearing” you’d say something like “thank you. I got it in the Macy’s sale last week” or “thank you. My husband gave it to me for my birthday” or something. But when it’s your accent... it’s awkward. You get numb to it. People think they are being nice. At first I wouldn’t do any of the talking when we were in a restaurant or a shop because the employees would always comment on my accent. So my husband looked like he was taking a mute to dinner or out shopping. I get my husband to call the bank or the hospital to discuss personal business matters. I also occasionally get people who claim they can’t understand me. I get very self-conscious about it that I even worry that if I witnessed an accident I’d be scared to call 911 in case they couldn’t understand me or made comments about my accent/being foreign. 

 

One thing that really gets me... I have colleagues that mimic my accent or try to say phrases that they think are typically British (think of the Mary Poppins actor whose name is blocked here). They will say “jolly nice” and “time for tea” and things like that that I and other Brits don’t even say. I put them in their place and asked them if I were Chinese or Mexican would they mimic my accent or use stereotypical phrases around me. They were horrified! Of course they wouldn’t because that would be considered racist. So I asked them why they thought it was ok to mimic and mock my accent and country. Silence. And there has been no more if it since then.

Edited by JFH

Timeline in brief:

Married: September 27, 2014

I-130 filed: February 5, 2016

NOA1: February 8, 2016 Nebraska

NOA2: July 21, 2016

Interview: December 6, 2016 London

POE: December 19, 2016 Las Vegas

N-400 filed: September 30, 2019

Interview: March 22, 2021 Seattle

Oath: March 22, 2021 COVID-style same-day oath

 

Now a US citizen!

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
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18 hours ago, icanbenobody said:

 i dont usually get any comments about my accent or english speaking. Most people i encounter/talk says that my English is great and the accent is very lil and not bad..in that facility yesterday i talk to at least 5 different white and black American women and only 1 person ask me if i just learn english here or i started to speak english before i come here lol in some point i take that as an insult but i think you're right maybe she was just curious...i understand english pretty well and speak good english thats what matter right? hehe

From what I’ve seen (my wife is from the Philippines), many people are surprised that English is taught in the schools beginning in elementary. When someone comments, they are showing surprise rather than being judgemental. I have more problems with my asawa understanding my “southern slang”.

 

to the OP, most Americans are fascinated by foreign accents. We don’t intend to make you uncomfortable. Most people are probably welcoming you. 

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Romania
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20 hours ago, proudtobabritgirl said:

So I've been here six weeks and the relocation blues has just hit me pretty damn hard. I didn't expect it to hit me so soon. For the past few days I just feel terrible. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb here. Everyone comments on my accent and I just feel uncomfortable :(

Any tips from people who have felt this way? 

Try to stay positive. Imagine English is not your first language and you end up in a country where everybody (ok not everybody) speaks better English then you do. Since you don't have this issue with talking, grammar etc I would say try to embrace your accent. They are just curious, or it can be used as a conversation starter if they ask. Be proud where you came from, do not feel uncomfortable. Since your English is your native language, you can tell if they are just mean or curious. Even I can tell :)))) Usually it happens at restaurants, or on the bus, or at the grocery store. Btw have a funny story. I was out shopping some stuff and was on the phone because I didn't remember the name of the stuff I was asked to buy (who needs to write it down, right? :))) ), and while walking between the aisles I was reading out loud the directory of the aisles and after I hung up the phone a person behind me said please please keep talking, love your accent. First I was shocked, but get over it pretty fast, laughed a bit and we talked for like 5-10 minutes about the USA, my country, how I like  it here, how is that different from home, etc etc . I think I love this part, because back home I never talked with anybody waiting in line, or while shopping.

 

And yeah, holidays are a bit special. I never imagined saying that. I am here for 6 months now, never been homesick, but around Christmas I missed my family. This was my first Christmas when I didn't go home to celebrate Christmas with them.  BUUUUT now I have a new family, so I was concentrating on it, trying to find new traditions, embracing what I can.

 

Please don't feel blue, try to go out as much as you can, maybe find some meetups (Book clubs, ESL, crafts, etc, usually the public libraries has a lot of these things), or meetup.com),  you are interested in in the new year or volunteer, try to meet people, even if you don't become friends.

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Australia
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20 hours ago, proudtobabritgirl said:

So I've been here six weeks and the relocation blues has just hit me pretty damn hard. I didn't expect it to hit me so soon. For the past few days I just feel terrible. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb here. Everyone comments on my accent and I just feel uncomfortable :(

Any tips from people who have felt this way? 

I think you've gotten some good advice here. I just want to add that it's so normal to be homesick. I can imagine that, not only do you feel like your accent stands out, but maybe you miss hearing people speaking in the accent you're used to. I've been reading the comments and, as the petitioner, I'm going to use some of this advice myself to help make my fiance feel more comfortable here and to help him adjust. My biggest worry is that he will miss the home he's always known.  One thing I'll encourage him to do is to volunteer in a community garden when he gets here. It's something he's passionate about, he will have something to do, he"ll meet like-minded people in our area, and, hopefully, start to feel like he belongs. Maybe volunteering, until you can actually work, will do the same for you.

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Morocco
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Takes time to adjust even those of us have had to move state to state

next time someone says you have the accent make a joke of it and laugh

tell them English came from your country so we are the ones with an accent

americans love a come back and this will help win some friends

other countries seem to think it is eaiser to understand an Englishman than an american

 

get on whatsapp and talk to family and friends

study for the driver's test as you will need a license

keep busy

Edited by adil-rafa
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7 minutes ago, adil-rafa said:

 

tell them English came from your country so we are the ones with an accent

 

This! My husband does this all the time. He mentions to someone at work or someone who has never met me that his wife is British and he always gets the “does she have an accent?”. He always says “No, she doesn’t. We do. We stole her language.”

Timeline in brief:

Married: September 27, 2014

I-130 filed: February 5, 2016

NOA1: February 8, 2016 Nebraska

NOA2: July 21, 2016

Interview: December 6, 2016 London

POE: December 19, 2016 Las Vegas

N-400 filed: September 30, 2019

Interview: March 22, 2021 Seattle

Oath: March 22, 2021 COVID-style same-day oath

 

Now a US citizen!

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I've been here ten years this month and I find that the homesickness comes and goes in waves.

 

Some months, even years, I've not even thought about the stuff I miss from 'back home'. Other times, something tiny will still make me feel so sad and long for home.

 

Having a baby was a huge trigger for homesickness because it was so different from home and I didn't have my parents and family easily around me. Then it passed for a few years, then the year she started school it hit me again because the system was so different from my experience. 

 

I miss being in the UK for specific things - Christmas, Eurovision Song Contest, World Cup etc. But I also love many things about the US now and would probably feel homesickness for here if I went back to the UK to live too!

 

 

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Filed: Citizen (pnd) Country: Morocco
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5 minutes ago, JFH said:

This! My husband does this all the time. He mentions to someone at work or someone who has never met me that his wife is British and he always gets the “does she have an accent?”. He always says “No, she doesn’t. We do. We stole her language.”

It would surprise everyone to learn the people we consider hillbillies in the  Appalachian mountians speak the closest to shakespearian English of anyone

 

and to the OP travel around our country and see the different accents

i have trouble understanding a true Southerner or many from mass And CT

 

just give yourself time to find your little nitch of this huge country / it is awesome

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Accent is the worst. I don't understand why people think it's ok to comment on someone's accent. I mean come on, I studied English for years, I do not wish to hear from you that I have an accent! 😡😠 

Citizenship:

09/15/2020 - Filed online. Estimated completion given - July 2021 (10 months).

January 2021 - biometric reuse letter

April 2021 - interview scheduled

24/05/2021 - Interview (approved)

 

Passport:

July 23 - applied, expedited service

August 11 - received the passport

Aug. 16 (approximately) - received passport card

August 20 - received citizenship certificate back

 

Story of my almost 3 years long pending AOS - click below for details

Spoiler

2015

  • March 10 2015 - USCIS received i-130/i-485
  • March 30 2015 - got a RFE saying that my husband cannot be my sponsor because of his income, which is not true, but we didn't know what to do so we hired a lawyer.
  • August 10 2015 - interview (went great, by the way). Were told to wait 120 days.
  • December 10 2015, April 10 2016, May 10 2016 - sent SR, responses: "your case is pending"

2016

  • May 25 2016 - Went to Info Pass, the case is taken to the supervisor, were told we will get something in 30 days (of course, after 30 days we got nothing....).
  • June 27 2016 - Went to Info Pass again, they told us to wait for 2 more weeks and if we still get nothing send a service request letter by mail. Did it on the same day.
  • June 27 2016 - After Infopass, went to senator Durbin office in Chicago.
  • July 8 2016 - Went to Mike Quigley office.
  • July 8 2016 - Received useless response from Durbin. All they know is that the case is pending and it's in Chicago, can't do anything else.
  • July 12 2016: Infopass, spoke to the supervisor, promises promises.... more wait.
  • July 17 2016: Filed Ombudsman.
  • July 26 2016: Another info pass, same story. We talked to 3 supervisors already! I don't get it!
  • July 29 2016: Sent another useless SR just because.
  • Aug 9 2016: Talked to the officer we had interview with! She was supposed to mail us RFE a year ago but she forgot (!!!) ! They admitted it. Gave us RFE.
  • October 11 2016: Response to RFE is received by uscis (the RFE was ridiculous. Basically all same papers we ALREADY GAVE HER at the interview: bank statements, lease, etc).
  • October 20 2016: Infopass, useless, did not have time to wait for the supervisor.
  • November 9 2016: Infopass, talked to the supervisor, he said there are no problems with our case and he will make sure the officer will make a decision within a few days. Gave us his email and phone number, told us to contact him directly instead of going to info pass.
  • November 15 2016: emailed the supervisor, since a few days have passed and still no decision. No response.
  • November 17 2016: called the supervisor, no answer.
  • November 17 2016: sent Service Request about i-130 (Lol, like that will help..)
  • November 19 2016: sent a letter to the director of Chicago Field Office.
  • November 22 2016: sent Service Request about i-485 (Lol[2])
  • November 23 2016: talked to the supervisor again to learn that..........my medical and fingerprints have expired and i need to wait for a notice to do it all again.
  • November 25 2016: The response from the Field Office Director Martha Medina-Maltes: your case is pending and every effort is being made blah blah blah
  • December 5 2016: Received a response to i-485 SR that my case is "pending supervisor review"... absolutely random since the supervisor said i'll need redo my medical and fingerprints again.
  • December 19 2016: Went to USCIS, the officer came out and told me we need to come back for a 2nd interview!!! I'm shocked because our marriage is 100% real and i can't believe they have doubts about it! But i'm glad that it's at least something.
  • December 27: 2nd interview (Strokes). Reason: i-130 petition. We did fine but the officer said we will receive a NOID! Our lawyer said it must be something else, not our answers... but what?!

2017

  • Jan 23 - infopass, asked if anything was mailed regarding i-130. Were told that nothing was.
  • Jan 27 - sent a service request regarding I-130.
  • March 1 2017 - went to uscis (no info pass), our officer's supervisor finally gave us the noid full of nitpicking and lies, that shows that they do not pay attention to anything. 
  • March 10 2017 - 2 years AOS anniversary...wow. 
  • March 31 - The response to the noid is received by uscis!
  • June 1st - went to the office, the supervisor promised we will get the decision in 4-6 weeks.
  • July 19 - 7 weeks passed, went back to uscis. The supervisor said he will give the case to the officer tomorrow, we asked when we will get the decision, he said he doesn't know. 
  • September 6: My husband talked to the supervisor again, he said he gave the case to the other officer, and the case is huge so the officer has a lot to do, and we will get a decision in 2 weeks. 
  • September 25: Went back since no decision was received (as expected). The supervisor said the same thing: we will get a decision in 2 weeks
  • September 29: USCIS asked for medical! Eureka! First time in 2 and a half years they sent something by themselves! :wacko: i-130 still not approved.
  • October 2: Notice that i-130 is approved (notice date September 26, still no online update). Also went to get medical done (should be ready by the end of the week)
  • October 3:  biometrics
  • October 10: medical delivered to uscis! The waiting games begins again :wacko:
  • December 11: 2 months after medical was delivered talked to the supervisor again, he said the decision will be made BY tomorrow and we will find out from the website on Wednesday. 
  • December 14: Called uscis, tier 2 officer told me that the case is approved.
  • December 18: Received Approval notice (Dated December 12)

 

Long story short:
After the initial interview we received:

1) a RFE asking for the same papers again,

2) then were asked to come to the 2nd interview that went fine of course, 

3) then a NOID that was full of mistakes.

All that was given to us in person, only when we made our way straight to our officer. And still waiting. Lots of fun (not).

4) 6 months after receiving our response to the noid i-130 is approved. 2 years 6 months and 16 days of waiting for i-130. Supposed to take 5 months. No words.

5) After 2 years 9 months and 2 days (or 1008 days) of waiting i-485 is approved.

 

 

 

 

 

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