Relocation blues

[proudtobabritgirl 126]

I'm back in England for two weeks. I've only been here 7 hours and I'm itching to go back home to California, to my husband, my job, my new little life already! 

I guess there is just no pleasing me

[Joyoussinger 1,410]

1 hour ago, proudtobabritgirl said:

I'm back in England for two weeks. I've only been here 7 hours and I'm itching to go back home to California, to my husband, my job, my new little life already! 

I guess there is just no pleasing me

That's so good to hear!

[LukeU 413]

On 1/10/2019 at 7:02 PM, proudtobabritgirl said:

I'm back in England for two weeks. I've only been here 7 hours and I'm itching to go back home to California, to my husband, my job, my new little life already! 

I guess there is just no pleasing me

Welcome back to the rain, to not turning right (left if you're driving again in the UK) at a red light, to tiny cars, expensive fuel, rude servers, tiny portions and overall ... england! Plus a little more rain, just incase you forgot that bit 😉

 

On a serious note, I'm just so glad you're not aching to stay, you're not regretting anything! It's all just a change of lifestyle I guess. 

[proudtobabritgirl 126]

15 hours ago, LukeU said:

Welcome back to the rain, to not turning right (left if you're driving again in the UK) at a red light, to tiny cars, expensive fuel, rude servers, tiny portions and overall ... england! Plus a little more rain, just incase you forgot that bit 😉

 

On a serious note, I'm just so glad you're not aching to stay, you're not regretting anything! It's all just a change of lifestyle I guess. 

Yes indeed. I had to buy a thick coat because I was struggling with the cold! 

I don't want to sound pretentious, because England is great and their are definitely worse places to live in the world. But, nothings changed here, I have and that's a good thing! 

[Celie 793]

On 12/28/2018 at 1:04 PM, MrsCrabs said:

Hey, I know what you feel. I had the same for a few months when I just arrived, and I tried to call home often, and killed myself in a gym and when I got a job it stopped being that bad. All my time was about learning how to do my job well. On days off I went shopping and just was driving around to see places and try new food. It went away eventually. Its gonna sound stupid, but only time can help. When people ask me about my accent, which is not totally Russian now (I picked up a lot from my husband and  movies), and people can`t say where I am from (named Eastern European countries, now it between Alabama and Minnesota), but I like to reply with a serious face that I don`t have an accent, its them who speak with accent to me. I like British accent and I heard many Americans find it very curios and interesting and sexy ))) I`m sure they don`t want to make you feel uncomfortable on purpose. Do you like traveling? I`m sure theres a lot to see in California. Maybe start a photo blog?

I love your take on the accent thing!! It's refreshing to see that perspective.

[Celie 793]

On 12/28/2018 at 12:47 PM, proudtobabritgirl said:

So I've been here six weeks and the relocation blues has just hit me pretty damn hard. I didn't expect it to hit me so soon. For the past few days I just feel terrible. I feel like I stick out like a sore thumb here. Everyone comments on my accent and I just feel uncomfortable

Any tips from people who have felt this way? 

Please don't take it offensively! We (Americans) have a weird obsession with accents. haha and for obvious reason (because its awesome!) the British one is at the top of the list. I know it probably makes you feel a weird way but just look at it as people are genuinely interested in getting to know you and about you. Put a positive spin on it so it won't hit you so hard and feel special because you get to see the country that most of us see as "usual" through a fresh pair of eyes. Immigrants are the foundation of this country so feel proud of it!

 

Good luck on your journey, hon!

[Usagi_tsukino 89]

5 hours ago, cduran said:

Please don't take it offensively! We (Americans) have a weird obsession with accents. haha and for obvious reason (because its awesome!) the British one is at the top of the list. I know it probably makes you feel a weird way but just look at it as people are genuinely interested in getting to know you and about you. Put a positive spin on it so it won't hit you so hard and feel special because you get to see the country that most of us see as "usual" through a fresh pair of eyes. Immigrants are the foundation of this country so feel proud of it!

 

Good luck on your journey, hon!

But why won't you, people who don't have a foreign accent (can't say "you Americans" because many people who have accents are also Americans) put yourself in our shoes? Why are you telling us how to feel? It's even more annoying than hearing about our accents. I've lived in the US for over 10 years, and i can tell you my attitude towards it did not change a bit. 

Pronunciation is an important part of the language, i find it very rude of people to comment on someone else's pronunciation. Basically you are telling them (us) that our language skills are not good enough when we are not asking you about your opinion. Many of us are trying to speak better, we are learning vowels and pitch and sounds and so on but then, after hours of studying we go outside and hear "what a nice accent", how do you think it makes us feel? Like we studied for nothing and can't even learn how to speak.

On top of that, it doesn't matter where I am from. No, it's not offensive at all, it just doesn't say anything about me and being asked about it and being associated with it is also annoying. I left that country long time ago, it's not "my" country anymore, i don't represent that culture. I don't see myself as being from an another country. When people ask me things about that country i don't know any more than those who ask. It's also very annoying. 

I think people should become more aware of this issue. Somehow we are all about racial equality, gender equality, people watch what they say in may other situations but everyone forget about accents and comment on them all they want, and then even worse - tell people how they should feel about it. 

Edited January 19, 2019 by banana_princess

[Celie 793]

9 minutes ago, banana_princess said:

But why won't you, people who don't have a foreign accent (can't say "you Americans" because many people who have accents are also Americans) put yourself in our shoes? Why are you telling us how to feel? It's even more annoying than hearing about our accents. I've lived in the US for over 10 years, and i can tell you my attitude towards it did not change a bit. 

Pronunciation is an important part of the language, i find it very rude of people to comment on someone else's pronunciation. Basically you are telling them (us) that our language skills are not good enough when we are not asking you about your opinion. Many of us are trying to speak better, we are learning vowels and pitch and sounds and so on but then, after hours of studying we go outside and hear "what a nice accent", how do you think it makes us feel? Like we studied for nothing and can't even learn how to speak.

On top of that, it doesn't matter where I am from. No, it's not offensive at all, it just doesn't say anything about me and being asked about it and being associated with it is also annoying. I left that country long time ago, it's not "my" country anymore, i don't represent that culture. I don't see myself as being from an another country. When people ask me things about that country i don't know any more than those who ask. It's also very annoying. 

I think people should become more aware of this issue. Somehow we are all about racial equality, gender equality, people watch what they say in may other situations but everyone forget about accents and comment on them all they want, and then even worse - tell people how they should feel about it. 

Okay, first of all, I'm sorry you feel personally victimized by "Americans". You say you take no offense to being asked where you're from or asking about your accent but your four paragraph essay seems to indicate otherwise.

 

Secondly, we ALL have accents, even across the US there are regional accents. My effort to write her a message to cheer her up in NO way is me telling her how to feel as (luckily) we are free to feel what we feel.

 

Thirdly, pronounciation and lack of knowledge of the English language do not IN ANY WAY go hand in hand. I have often found that people with foreign accents have better pronounciation than some Americans because they work hard to learn the proper way to say things. 

 

I'm sorry your experience in the States has clearly not been up to your standard and hasnt changed your attitude on things, but coming to an immigration forum and ranting on someone's response about relating is a bit ironic. Understand that you cant change how people will react. I personally come from an immigrant family and have a soon-to-be immigrant fiance and in no way do I feel the OP is not entitled to feel the way she feels. All I did was give her a positive spin to what can be a good take on things. 

 

Maybe focus a bit more on intent over feeling victimized and things would flow better for you. Best of luck.

[Joyoussinger 1,410]

2 minutes ago, cduran said:

Okay, first of all, I'm sorry you feel personally victimized by "Americans". You say you take no offense to being asked where you're from or asking about your accent but your four paragraph essay seems to indicate otherwise.

 

Secondly, we ALL have accents, even across the US there are regional accents. My effort to write her a message to cheer her up in NO way is me telling her how to feel as (luckily) we are free to feel what we feel.

 

Thirdly, pronounciation and lack of knowledge of the English language do not IN ANY WAY go hand in hand. I have often found that people with foreign accents have better pronounciation than some Americans because they work hard to learn the proper way to say things. 

 

I'm sorry your experience in the States has clearly not been up to your standard and hasnt changed your attitude on things, but coming to an immigration forum and ranting on someone's response about relating is a bit ironic. Understand that you cant change how people will react. I personally come from an immigrant family and have a soon-to-be immigrant fiance and in no way do I feel the OP is not entitled to feel the way she feels. All I did was give her a positive spin to what can be a good take on things. 

 

Maybe focus a bit more on intent over feeling victimized and things would flow better for you. Best of luck.

Well said! I was thinking of a way to respond to this, and you beat me to it. You made the point better than I would have done.

[Usagi_tsukino 89]

4 minutes ago, cduran said:

Secondly, we ALL have accents, even across the US there are regional accents

i said "foreign accents"

 

4 minutes ago, cduran said:

Maybe focus a bit more on intent over feeling victimized and things would flow better for you. Best of luck.

Believe me, i am the last person who feels victimized over anything. It's simply annoying.

 

5 minutes ago, cduran said:

You say you take no offense to being asked where you're from or asking about your accent but your four paragraph essay seems to indicate otherwise.

Again, you are telling me how i feel : )

 

All i am saying is that people feel different than you. I see that its all fun for you, great, I do believe that you mean no harm, but may be think about how others feel too when you annoy them about their accents.

[Celie 793]

4 minutes ago, Joyoussinger said:

Well said! I was thinking of a way to respond to this, and you beat me to it. You made the point better than I would have done.

Thank you!

 

The beauty of immigration comes from the blend of cultures, stories, and languages ☺

 

 

[Celie 793]

12 minutes ago, banana_princess said:

i said "foreign accents"

 

Believe me, i am the last person who feels victimized over anything. It's simply annoying.

 

Again, you are telling me how i feel : )

 

All i am saying is that people feel different than you. I see that its all fun for you, great, I do believe that you mean no harm, but may be think about how others feel too when you annoy them about their accents.

 

Its not all fun for me lol trust me. Try being the only Mexican girl in a school full of white kids just because I was smart enough to be there. No matter how much I perfected my accent, it didnt change my face or my name. But I did learn to look at the bright side of things and I like to share that train of thought when I can. (Not tell people how to feel, as assumed)

 

Anyway, I hope that perspective works out for you. We are all different so to each his own.

[LukeU 413]

On 1/14/2019 at 1:31 PM, proudtobabritgirl said:

Yes indeed. I had to buy a thick coat because I was struggling with the cold! 

I don't want to sound pretentious, because England is great and their are definitely worse places to live in the world. But, nothings changed here, I have and that's a good thing! 

That didn't sound pretentious at all. I know how you mean, this place (England) has been the same now for the last 6-10 years and even just spending 3-4 weeks in the USA and just living, like the day to day stuff is all so different, a completely different way of life yet similar (if that makes any sense at all?!). 

I'm hoping the feeling will remain, I'm sure the missing family and missing knowing exactly where most things are will take some getting used to but. 

[millefleur 5,035]

Hey, people commenting on a British accent isn't so bad. For my husband, his accent has triggered the weirdest encounters with random people on the train here. As soon as he opens his mouth, the "Where are you from question?" pops up and when he answers "Russia," he's received responses such as "Are you a spy?", "Do you know Vladimir Putin runs this country?", "Did you help hack the election?" So yeah....fun times! British accent doesn't seem so bad in comparison honestly.

 

P.S. I currently live in Portland, OR and this town is a little out there (Keep Portland weird!)....that might also explain it.

Edited January 24, 2019 by millefleur

[implife 318]

5 hours ago, millefleur said:

"Do you know Vladimir Putin runs this country?", "Did you help hack the election?"

dude, Portland IS weird! people here do ask me where my accent is from, but nobody gives a damn about putin etc. must be something in the Oregon water.

Edited January 24, 2019 by implife