Getting divorced before 1-751 due to cheating and need advice

[nothas88 0]

Hi all,

 

I am a U.S. Citizen and my (soon to be ex) husband is here on a marriage-based conditional green card. My parents signed the Affidavit of Support considering neither my husband nor I had a job at the time of filing the I-130 & I-485. We were together for 2 1/2 years prior to getting married, so we had A LOT of proof of a bonafied, happy relationship during our initial interview. Fast forward to just before our 2 year anniversary, we're both unhappy and it becomes clear I'm the only one trying to fix the marriage. After months of emotional abuse, I eventually find evidence that he is having an affair with a co-worker (who is also married). I will add that he was very adamant about keeping his workplace and me completely separate (I only met less than a handful of his co-workers despite the fact he worked over 10 hour days, 6 days a week) and I believe many of them knew about his infidelity. I filed for divorce on grounds of Adultery and he chose not to contest it because he has no money for a lawyer. The divorce will be finalized in another month, just at the beginning of the 90 day period that he can file to remove the conditions off his green card. 

 

Despite the last few months of hell, I do genuinely believe that his intentions were good at the time of proposal through our first few months of marriage (He didn't start acting cold and detached until over a year and half in), so I don't necessarily want to raise flags of fraud. We both agreed to divorce, I kicked him out for the cheating and neither one of us want anything from the other but to be left to our own. Beforehand, I handled all the paperwork (He doesn't really understand any US legal processes), but now he's on his own and can go get a lawyer to figure everything out considering it won't look good that he caused the divorce due to infidelity. That being said, I have a very strong feeling that he's going to ask his co-workers to write sworn statements as evidence of a bonafied marriage. There's not a ton of evidence because most things were in my name and all of our shared accounts/etc. are now closed and we did not see one another very often or even do much together because he devoted so much time to his job/friends/affair. It's almost a guarantee he'll have to provide proof/witnesses and those are the only people he knows here. I don't, in any way shape or form, want to be associated with his workplace or the people who work there. I've only really met 3 or 4 of them anyway and (mutually) did not like any of them. I'm sure he did a fair amount of lying about me to them and I never really was around anyone enough for them to know anything substantial about our relationship.

 

Long story short, I'm not necessarily trying to put his permanent green card even more in jeopardy than it already it, but I definitely want to alert USCIS about the divorce, distance my parents from the responsibility of financial support they signed and (somehow?) request that anything from these ill-meaning co-workers not be considered actual, truthful affidavits. How do I do this? Should I write a letter? Call? Request an interview?

 

Needing any and all advice.

 

Thanks!

Edited August 20, 2017 by nothas88

[mcdull 474]

Infidelity is not  ground for cancellation of permanent residency.

 

I'd advise you to simply move on with your life.

[nothas88 0]

I think you misunderstood my post.

 

I am not deliberately trying to cancel his permanent residency. If he's able to stay, great... if not, so be it. I'm just basically trying to separate myself and my family as far away from a dishonest situation as possible. He can do everything without using my name anymore and I don't need lying statements on record concerning me.

[mallafri76 1,012]

11 minutes ago, nothas88 said:

I'm just basically trying to separate myself and my family as far away from a dishonest situation as possible. 

So then divorce and move on. You're parents signed the i-864 and is pretty much on the hook for it until your husband  either becomes a USC or collects 10 years of full-time work in the US.

[nothas88 0]

Ok, so I don't have to do anything. Got it. 

 

26 minutes ago, CookieCat said:

Unfortunately, your parents are on the hook for the I-864 until one of the following happens (quoted from I-864 instructions page 12-13):

 

How Long Does My Obligation as a Sponsor Continue?

Your obligation to support the immigrants you are sponsoring in this affidavit of support will continue until the sponsored immigrant becomes a U.S. citizen, or can be credited with 40 qualifying quarters of work in the United States. 

Although 40 qualifying quarters of work (credits) generally equates to 10 years of work, in certain cases the work of a spouse or parent adds qualifying quarters. The Social Security Administration can provide information on how to count qualifying quarters (credits) of work.

The obligation also ends if you or the sponsored immigrant dies or if the sponsored immigrant ceases to be a lawful

permanent resident. Divorce does not end the sponsorship obligation.

 

Thanks CookieCat for clarifying. My parents actually had a contract written up stating that if we divorced or if at any time, they fell into any legal trouble due to him reaching out for government assistance, then they could also sue him. So at least they had the good sense to get that signed and notarized.

 

As far as the affidavits go, I guess I was just confused concerning what all would go on record, considering these co-workers all have criminal backgrounds and I don't want any documented associations with these people coming back on me later in life or deterring me from possibly emigrating and/or ever working abroad again. 

 

Thanks all.

Edited August 20, 2017 by nothas88
Needed to change a word!

[Ontarkie 13,917]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from ROC - As this forum is better suited for these discussions.~~

[Coco8 1,039]

3 hours ago, nothas88 said:

Ok, so I don't have to do anything. Got it. 

 

Thanks CookieCat for clarifying. My parents actually had a contract written up stating that if we divorced or if at any time, they fell into any legal trouble due to him reaching out for government assistance, then they could also sue him. So at least they had the good sense to get that signed and notarized.

 

As far as the affidavits go, I guess I was just confused concerning what all would go on record, considering these co-workers all have criminal backgrounds and I don't want any documented associations with these people coming back on me later in life or deterring me from possibly emigrating and/or ever working abroad again. 

 

Thanks all.

 

I don't think your parents having a contract with him gets them off them hook with USCIS.

 

I think the best you can do is ask your husband to become a citizen as fast as possible (if you get divorce it would be under the 5 year rule). If you don't do anything to jeopardize that (in reality, anything you do would be meaningless but it could slow things down), once he becomes a US citizen the financial stuff goes away.

 

 

 

 

[NikLR 13,220]

4 hours ago, nothas88 said:

Ok, so I don't have to do anything. Got it. 

 

Thanks CookieCat for clarifying. My parents actually had a contract written up stating that if we divorced or if at any time, they fell into any legal trouble due to him reaching out for government assistance, then they could also sue him. So at least they had the good sense to get that signed and notarized.

 

As far as the affidavits go, I guess I was just confused concerning what all would go on record, considering these co-workers all have criminal backgrounds and I don't want any documented associations with these people coming back on me later in life or deterring me from possibly emigrating and/or ever working abroad again. 

 

Thanks all.

Basically he entered the marriage in good faith, and lived in it in good faith for a period of time.  Likely you had co-mingled your finances and lives enough for him to prove that you had a good faith marriage until divorce. Marriages fall apart for a variety of reasons and I'm sorry yours did not last. 

 

Affidavits are about as low on the evidence scale as you can get. Right there with magazine flyers and gym memberships.  In fact a dues dependent gym membership shows more evidence of a relationship than an affidavit written by a 3rd party does.  Other countries aren't going to see this information and aren't going to care about your ex husband's infidelity or co-workers.  Whatever they write won't come back to haunt you unless they're plastering it all over the internet.  If that happens of course you can sue them.  They likely aren't going to write anything damaging about you because that wouldn't help provide evidence of a genuine marriage would it?

 

Despite if your parents had him sign some sort of contract, they would still be sued, after you're sued by the US government.  I doubt this contract with him would hold up in court, but I'm not a lawyer so who knows.  Regardless, chances are pretty slim for them to be sued since you can obviously now afford a lawyer and the govt would always look to you first. The fact they would do this, knowing full well what the repercussions are of sponsorship doesn't speak very highly of who you chose as a spouse either... At least not likely in their opinion.  

Edited August 21, 2017 by NikLR

[jakartausa 28]

6 hours ago, nothas88 said:

Hi all,

 

I am a U.S. Citizen and my (soon to be ex) husband is here on a marriage-based conditional green card. My parents signed the Affidavit of Support considering neither my husband nor I had a job at the time of filing the I-130 & I-485. We were together for 2 1/2 years prior to getting married, so we had A LOT of proof of a bonafied, happy relationship during our initial interview. Fast forward to just before our 2 year anniversary, we're both unhappy and it becomes clear I'm the only one trying to fix the marriage. After months of emotional abuse, I eventually find evidence that he is having an affair with a co-worker (who is also married). I will add that he was very adamant about keeping his workplace and me completely separate (I only met less than a handful of his co-workers despite the fact he worked over 10 hour days, 6 days a week) and I believe many of them knew about his infidelity. I filed for divorce on grounds of Adultery and he chose not to contest it because he has no money for a lawyer. The divorce will be finalized in another month, just at the beginning of the 90 day period that he can file to remove the conditions off his green card. 

 

Despite the last few months of hell, I do genuinely believe that his intentions were good at the time of proposal through our first few months of marriage (He didn't start acting cold and detached until over a year and half in), so I don't necessarily want to raise flags of fraud. We both agreed to divorce, I kicked him out for the cheating and neither one of us want anything from the other but to be left to our own. Beforehand, I handled all the paperwork (He doesn't really understand any US legal processes), but now he's on his own and can go get a lawyer to figure everything out considering it won't look good that he caused the divorce due to infidelity. That being said, I have a very strong feeling that he's going to ask his co-workers to write sworn statements as evidence of a bonafied marriage. There's not a ton of evidence because most things were in my name and all of our shared accounts/etc. are now closed and we did not see one another very often or even do much together because he devoted so much time to his job/friends/affair. It's almost a guarantee he'll have to provide proof/witnesses and those are the only people he knows here. I don't, in any way shape or form, want to be associated with his workplace or the people who work there. I've only really met 3 or 4 of them anyway and (mutually) did not like any of them. I'm sure he did a fair amount of lying about me to them and I never really was around anyone enough for them to know anything substantial about our relationship.

 

Long story short, I'm not necessarily trying to put his permanent green card even more in jeopardy than it already it, but I definitely want to alert USCIS about the divorce, distance my parents from the responsibility of financial support they signed and (somehow?) request that anything from these ill-meaning co-workers not be considered actual, truthful affidavits. How do I do this? Should I write a letter? Call? Request an interview?

 

Needing any and all advice.

 

Thanks!

The fact that your husband cheated on you will not be taken into consideration in your divorce in DC. If the both of you entered into the marriage with the best of intentions and then either of you cheated then you will be granted a No Fault Divorce, it appears likely that you have minimal to no assets whether financial or real property and no children (so this divorce will be a piece of cake) . He will be able to obtain his perm 10 year GC as you will have no proof of any sort of fraud occurring. Also note that the i-864 is rarely enforced so you have little to no worry there. Unless his intentions are to divorce and then become a unemployed couch potato then your concerns over the I-864 are over blown. Divorce him, move on and find a new man. If you dont have a lawyer already I would obtain one for at least an initial consultation however I presume he/she will tell you exactly but in their own words , just what I told you here. You have no recourse, he will get his GC and the I-864 is while an intimidating document actually holds little weight here and thus you will have to proceed as if it doesn't exist. 

Edited August 21, 2017 by jakartausa

[Cathi 5,610]

6 hours ago, nothas88 said:

Ok, so I don't have to do anything. Got it. 

 

Thanks CookieCat for clarifying. My parents actually had a contract written up stating that if we divorced or if at any time, they fell into any legal trouble due to him reaching out for government assistance, then they could also sue him. So at least they had the good sense to get that signed and notarized.

 

As far as the affidavits go, I guess I was just confused concerning what all would go on record, considering these co-workers all have criminal backgrounds and I don't want any documented associations with these people coming back on me later in life or deterring me from possibly emigrating and/or ever working abroad again. 

 

Thanks all.

The contract your parents had him sign is worthless. The contract won't hold up in court and USCIS can and will go after your parents of need be. 

[Going through 5,668]

6 hours ago, nothas88 said:

As far as the affidavits go, I guess I was just confused concerning what all would go on record, considering these co-workers all have criminal backgrounds and I don't want any documented associations with these people coming back on me later in life or deterring me from possibly emigrating and/or ever working abroad again. 

Statements from co-workers, etc. are about as worth as the paper they are written on.  I understand your concern, but look at it this way:  You are the USC.  Any affidavits from HIS co-workers, or HIS family and friends about HIS pending case are only going to pertain to any immigration benefits HE is seeking in the future...not you.  And considering the letters written are supposedly going to be in support of him immigrating based on how bonafide your marriage was, it's probably not going to be written to derail you in any way, because then that would only make the marriage look as though it wasn't a bonafide one.

[Hin-d 16]

Not really sure why the I-864 is of concern to the OP. He works and doesn't appear to have a penchant for seeking out handouts. If you were to tell us that he laid on the couch, watching tv all day, then I'd be concerned. 

[geowrian 22,335]

13 hours ago, nothas88 said:

My parents actually had a contract written up stating that if we divorced or if at any time, they fell into any legal trouble due to him reaching out for government assistance, then they could also sue him. So at least they had the good sense to get that signed and notarized.

No such contract would be enforceable. You can't legally enter into a contract like that...it would entirely defeat the purpose of the I-864. Not to mention that if he doesn't have the money in the first place and needs government assistance, then what can they sue him for? You can't squeeze blood from a stone. The contract wouldn't be worth the paper it's written on, sorry.

[Mollie09 1,543]

He will probably have a really easy time removing his conditions (as someone who also got a divorce waiver) and he will stay in the US if he wants to. Divorce and move on.

You cannot remove your responsibility (or your parents') that you signed on for in the I-864. It's a contract between you and the government, and the notarized letter is pointless against that.

[Boiler 43,436]

To be clear the OP would be the first port of call for the I 864 should that arise. She is the primary sponsor.

Edited August 21, 2017 by Boiler