Jump to content
visawonderer

PLEASE Help! New in USA in abusive relationship

127 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Hello everyone, I have been reading the forums a lot lately and finally found the courage to post. I really hope that I find the help I need with you guys. My story is complicated. I will try to organize my points well. Please ask if you need clarification. 

 

I am a female immigrant who came here on a Fiance Visa. Our marriage was somewhat arranged but we spoke and got to know each other for 2 years before finally committing to moving to USA to live with him. Unfortunately, I found out that phone/long distance relationships don't really help in getting to know the person because once I came here, I found a completely different person than the one I knew over the phone. 

 

My husband has a previous failed marriage experience and seems to have been traumatized by it. He seems to have married someone from overseas to keep in the dark and only feed the information he wants/sees fit to share. A lot of what he told me is false and I am just starting to learn more about my rights and legal issues... Long story short, he did not want to marry me legally within 90 days. But, under pressure, he did 2 days before expiration date. 

 

He owns a small grocery business. He lives with his parents. His father (my father in law) is verbally abusive and has physically assaulted other members of the family, just not me yet. They force me to work, unpaid, in the store (regardless of my legal work permission, they force me to work unpaid). Not only that but he doesn't care about developing a relationship with me. He leaves me and goes on vacations alone. He seems to have psych issues from his previous marriage and I really don't know why he even married me.

 

I left my home, job, and everything to immigrate here for him and I am completely thrown in the dark here. Everything he told me about my visa is apparently wrong. He refuses to adjust my status, he avoids me like the plague, and he allow his father to verbally abuse me while forcing me to work in their store. It's as if he brought a free worker to use as he pleases.

 

Here are some details followed by questions that I hope you guys can help me with:

 

1) I came to the US on a K1 visa in January 2019. 

2) I got married within 90 days BUT my husband switched my first & last name on the certificate. 

3) K1 expired in April 2019. 

4) He refuses to adjust my status. He claims that he does not have the money to do so and that the application + lawyer will cost $6,000. A friend offered to lend me the cost but he still refuses to do it. 

 

Questions:

1) My friend says that I am at risk of deportation. Is that true? 

2) If so, how do they find me? What triggers me being found to be deported?

3) Can I travel by plane WITHIN the states? I have a cousin in TX that I'd like to go to if things get worse.

4) What are the forms that he needs to submit? I-485 and I-130? Anything else? 

5) If he continues to refuse to apply, is there any way for me to adjust my own status? 

6) If anyone knows about divorce, female rights, or immigrant rights, can they get in trouble for forcing me to work illegally and unpaid? What are my legal rights in this case?

7) Are these things ground to file for divorce without being deported? I really don't want to go back to my country and have to start everything over, on my own, from scratch.

8) Should I seek help from a lawyer? If so,  should it be a divorce or an immigration lawyer? I don't have money for lawyers, how does that work?

9) HOW LONG does adjusting status take? I live near Springfield, VA. How long will it take to adjust my status?

10) Finally, if his father physically assaults me, can I call the cops? Will I be deported if I seek help from the local police? I am really scared that he may retaliate if I speak up. 

 

I appreciate any input and help. I am new in the country and don't know what to do. 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1) yes

2) 

3)yes

4)I485/I131/I765 

5)not without his participation 

6)

7) most states have no fault divorce. no grounds required other than irreconcilable differences .  You divorce,  you go home.   No path to immigration without your marriage to your petitionner 

8 )

9) could be a year

10) of course you can call the police 

 

 


YMMV

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

6. You legal right is not to work, could they get in trouble absolutely. But that would not help you. From a practical point if view there many millions working here illegally so your case is not likely to be very high up on the list.

 

8. Sounds like you need a Divorce Lawyer, might be easier and cheaper to Divorce in your Home Country.

 

Best bet would be to ask your Cousin to fund your trip home, you are out of status but it would be extremely rare that there would be any issues leaving.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Ooops missed 2, well it is a remote risk obviously and any way nobody on here would suggest that, last case I remember on here was someone being in a car that was stopped. Forget why, anyway they checked ID and ohh dear. I think that was a K1 overstay.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
3 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Best bet would be to ask your Cousin to fund your trip home, you are out of status but it would be extremely rare that there would be any issues leaving.

Agreed. Nothing here is going to happen quickly if you go down the path of trying to stay in the US. Unfortunately he holds most of the cards and if you can't afford to hire a lawyer to divorce him will be problematic. If you are looking for immediate relief from the situation you should find a way to get back home

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Would VAWA act apply to her?

https://www.uscis.gov/green-card/green-card-vawa-self-petitioner

I’m not very familiar with it, but there’s a lot of posts about it. Search VAWA. I’m sure others will give you info about it if it applies 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

No. OP said he avoids her like the plague.


“If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of a hundred battles. If you know yourself but not the enemy, for every victory gained you will also suffer a defeat. If you know neither the enemy nor yourself, you will succumb in every battle.”

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes, from AOS Family - As similar threads are discussed here.~~


Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
56 minutes ago, visawonderer said:

Our marriage was somewhat arranged

Can you explain?

 

56 minutes ago, visawonderer said:

He owns a small grocery business. He lives with his parents. His father (my father in law) is verbally abusive and has physically assaulted other members of the family, just not me yet. They force me to work, unpaid, in the store (regardless of my legal work permission, they force me to work unpaid). Not only that but he doesn't care about developing a relationship with me. He leaves me and goes on vacations alone. He seems to have psych issues from his previous marriage and I really don't know why he even married me.

Be sure to ensure your safety first and foremost.

 

VAWA doesn't appear to apply here as the potential abuse is not from a spouse or parent (FIL won't qualify here).

 

56 minutes ago, visawonderer said:

Questions:

1) My friend says that I am at risk of deportation. Is that true? 

2) If so, how do they find me? What triggers me being found to be deported?

3) Can I travel by plane WITHIN the states? I have a cousin in TX that I'd like to go to if things get worse.

4) What are the forms that he needs to submit? I-485 and I-130? Anything else? 

5) If he continues to refuse to apply, is there any way for me to adjust my own status? 

6) If anyone knows about divorce, female rights, or immigrant rights, can they get in trouble for forcing me to work illegally and unpaid? What are my legal rights in this case?

7) Are these things ground to file for divorce without being deported? I really don't want to go back to my country and have to start everything over, on my own, from scratch.

😎 Should I seek help from a lawyer? If so,  should it be a divorce or an immigration lawyer? I don't have money for lawyers, how does that work?

9) HOW LONG does adjusting status take? I live near Springfield, VA. How long will it take to adjust my status?

10) Finally, if his father physically assaults me, can I call the cops? Will I be deported if I seek help from the local police? I am really scared that he may retaliate if I speak up.

  1. Yes, ever since sometime in April (90 days from entry).
  2. Same way they find anybody...many times they don't for many years but there is always the risk. They have been seemingly doing check-ups on K-1 holders who don't file within 90 days more often, but it is still rare.
  3. Yes. Although note that there is a possibility of CBP working alongside TSA, especially in border states like TX. CBP or ICE can check status.
  4. I-485 for AOS, with an I-131 for AP and I-765 for an EAD optional but recommended (no extra fee).
    1. Note that the above packets requires several supporting documents, including an I-864 from your spouse for the I-485.
  5. Only VAWA, but that doesn't appear to apply.
  6. If they are forcing you via threats or violence, then that is a legal issue to raise with the authorities. Technically one could report their employment of unauthorized workers, but that would not be beneficial for you.
  7. Yes, one can divorce with or without cause. This is a separate issue than immigration.
  8. For a divorce, I would highly suggest a lawyer. For immigration, there's not really anything for them to do here (unless you were to be detained and/or put into removal proceedings first).
  9. Not applicable based on the above.
  10. Yes! Call the cops if assaulted, and get somewhere safe before it happens. Check for local shelters if needed.

Timelines:

Spoiler

AOS (I-485 + I-131 + I-765):

9/25/17: sent forms to Chicago

9/27/17: received by USCIS

10/4/17: NOA1 electronic notification received

10/10/17: NOA1 hard copy received. Social Security card being issued in married name (3rd attempt!)

10/14/17: Biometrics appointment notice received

10/25/17: Biometrics

1/2/18: EAD + AP approved (no website update)

1/5/18: EAD + AP mailed

1/8/18: EAD + AP approval notice hardcopies received

1/10/18: EAD + AP received

9/5/18: Interview scheduled notice

10/17/18: Interview

10/24/18: Green card produced notice

10/25/18: Formal approval

10/31/18: Green card received

 

K-1:

Spoiler

I-129F

12/1/17: sent

12/14/17: NOA1 hard copy received

3/10/17: RFE (IMB verification)

3/22/17: RFE response received

3/24/17: Approved!

3/30/17: NOA2 hard copy received

 

NVC

4/6/2017: Received

4/12/2017: Sent to Riyadh embassy

4/16/2017: Case received at Riyadh embassy

4/21/2017: Request case transfer to Manila, approved 4/24/2017

 

K-1

5/1/2017: Case received by Manila (1 week embassy transfer??? Lucky~)

7/13/2017: Interview: APPROVED!!!

7/19/2017: Visa in hand

8/15/2017: POE

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, Lil bear said:

This is still an abusive relationship. Financial , emotional , psychological abuse. I would need to read the VAWA guidelines to check their definition , but this is an abusive relationship  

There is no evidence for filing WAWA that is the problem for her


K-1 + K-2:                                                                                                                                AOS from K-1 + K-2:

02/02/16....I-129F mailed to Lewisville, TX                                                                       08/25/16....AOS package mailed to Chicago, IL

02/03/16....Delivered at Lewisville, TX                                                                               08/26/16....Delivered at Chicago, IL

02/08/16....NOA1 Text & E-mail. Case sent to CSC                                                         09/01/16....NOA1 Text & E-mail

02/12/16....NOA1 Hard copy received                                                                               09/09/16....NOA1 Hard copy received

03/24/16....NOA2 (45 days)                                                                                                 09/15/16....Bio-letter received for K-1/K-2 for Sep. 26th

03/29/16....NOA2 Hard copy received                                                                               09/19/16....Bio appointment done (Walk-in)

03/31/16....Medical                                                                                                              11/01/16.....EAD/AP approved

05/26/16....Interview                                                                                                            11/16/16.....EAD/AP card received

06/10/16....Visa in hand                                                                                                       03/08/17.....AOS Approved - No interview

06/21/16....POE Atlanta                                                                                                       03/15/17.....Green cards in hand

07/30/16....Wedding                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                                       

 

ROC from K-1 + K-2:

12/08/18....ROC window opens

12/13/18....I-751 mailed to Lewisville, TX

12/14/18....Delivered at Lewisville, TX

12/20/18....Text with case number. TX service center

12/24/18....NOA1/Extension letter received

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Posted (edited)
3 minutes ago, Lil bear said:

I beg to differ. If she attended any of the counselling services available under VAWA , and tells her story .. she will be clearly identified as a victim of domestic  violence .. broken bones and bruises are not the only evidence of DV. Take a look at the VAWA website for a better understanding of the fullness of DV and then reflect on the OPs narrative .. it lines up in multiple sectors. This is Domestic  Violence 

  https://www.thehotline.org/is-this-abuse/abuse-defined/

It will be her words against his... I'm not saying it only has to be physical but you can't  just "tell your story" and then thats fine.

Edited by Georgia16

K-1 + K-2:                                                                                                                                AOS from K-1 + K-2:

02/02/16....I-129F mailed to Lewisville, TX                                                                       08/25/16....AOS package mailed to Chicago, IL

02/03/16....Delivered at Lewisville, TX                                                                               08/26/16....Delivered at Chicago, IL

02/08/16....NOA1 Text & E-mail. Case sent to CSC                                                         09/01/16....NOA1 Text & E-mail

02/12/16....NOA1 Hard copy received                                                                               09/09/16....NOA1 Hard copy received

03/24/16....NOA2 (45 days)                                                                                                 09/15/16....Bio-letter received for K-1/K-2 for Sep. 26th

03/29/16....NOA2 Hard copy received                                                                               09/19/16....Bio appointment done (Walk-in)

03/31/16....Medical                                                                                                              11/01/16.....EAD/AP approved

05/26/16....Interview                                                                                                            11/16/16.....EAD/AP card received

06/10/16....Visa in hand                                                                                                       03/08/17.....AOS Approved - No interview

06/21/16....POE Atlanta                                                                                                       03/15/17.....Green cards in hand

07/30/16....Wedding                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                                       

 

ROC from K-1 + K-2:

12/08/18....ROC window opens

12/13/18....I-751 mailed to Lewisville, TX

12/14/18....Delivered at Lewisville, TX

12/20/18....Text with case number. TX service center

12/24/18....NOA1/Extension letter received

 

 

 

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
 
Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Ask our VJ Immigration Lawyers.
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.
- Back to Top -


Important Disclaimer: Please read carefully the Visajourney.com Terms of Service. If you do not agree to the Terms of Service you should not access or view any page (including this page) on VisaJourney.com. Answers and comments provided on Visajourney.com Forums are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Visajourney.com does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. VisaJourney.com does not condone immigration fraud in any way, shape or manner. VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. All reported threads/posts containing reference to immigration fraud or illegal activities will be removed from this board. If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by contacting us here with a url link to that content. Thank you.
×
×
  • Create New...