How can a mid-20's man be in love with mid-50's woman?

[Eric-Pris 1,604]

This may sound judgemental, but I'm just curious and trying to understand it. It's just not "normal" in society, especially in the region where it seems to be happening most.

If it is real, is it some kind of "mommy" thing, not cared for enough as a baby?

Personally, I think that 90% of these cases as for GC only, either a business transaction between both parties or the all too often seen straight out scam by the beneficiary pretending until the time when he no longer needs the USC.

Any thoughts?

Edited May 23, 2014 by Eric-Pris

[Merrytooth 5,748]

[X Factor 1,111]

Highly suspect ~ cougar style

[Darnell 8,478]

Lots of cougars have settled in and are settling for younger boy toys.

What's the harm in that?

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

I've often wondered the same thing the other way around, but it is an exchange of money, greencard, whatever, for basically sex and companionship for whatever period of time. All marriages and relationships are exchanges of some kind, this is just in which you can more readily recognize what is being traded.

USCIS/DOS obviously doesn't care, otherwise they would stop approving these petitions and visas. How do you prove people are not in love?

Edited May 25, 2014 by N-o-l-a

[belinda63 3,022]

Did you not see "The Graduate"?

[IB6UB9 42]

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

It is no different than a 20 something girl marrying an 50 plus old fart. They are looking for the "other" benefits. Look at the number of actresses that marry boy toys. An older woman has more assets, no raging hormones and no need to beat the bio clock anymore.

[agrabs 241]

So, it's acceptable for a man to be older than his woman but if it's the other way around it's probably a business transaction or a scam?

I would be curious to know the statistics on how many older man- younger woman marriages end up in divorce vs older woman- younger man marriages.

I am older than my husband. He is no longer in his 20's and I am not yet in my 50's however, I can tell you, since you said you are curious and wanting to understand it... our relationship is no different than if we were the same age. When we met we had no idea what each others age was. I met him on a medical mission trip. He translated for me. We had a lot in common - I know this is the part you question - what we could possibly have in common so I will be specific. We both enjoy cooking - we would exchange recipes and talk for hours about the different foods and customs in each others countries. We would discuss news stories and current events. He would send each other books to read or movies that we thought the other would like to see. We both love to travel so we would spend hours dreaming of the places we would like to go. Every night he would send me a new song to listen to while I fell asleep. By the time we knew each others age, it was more than a friendship. My husband is college educated, had a good job, was very close with his family and was happy with his life in his country. I am a medical professional with a good career and plenty of activities to keep me busy. I wasn't lonely, bored or in need of a man or money, and he certainly didn't need another mother (his is wonderful). We look the same age. If you were to see us, you wouldn't know I was the older one. There are the specifics for you.

To generalize a bit more:

Personally, I think women age better than men ( color their hair, make up, etc) so may not look their age.

Men have been marrying younger women through out history. Men were typically the breadwinners and women were dependent on them. In the last few decades, women's role in society has changed. They are educated and no longer have to be dependent on men financially or otherwise, so they have more freedom to enter into non- traditional relationships, no different then men.

I'm not sure that the older women - younger man marriage is anymore likely to be a scam for a green card than the older man- younger woman.

I'm not saying all these relationships are legit - any time there is an age difference, regardless of who is older there is a higher risk of fraud. There are plenty of " my spouse ran off after green card was issued " threads that seem to apply to any relationship that wasn't legit, or maybe it was legit but just didn't work out.

[Kajikit 65]

Nobody looks twice at a 60yo (or even older) guy with a 25yo wife... why should the males have a monopoly?

[N-o-l-a 7,167]

Nobody looks twice at a 60yo (or even older) guy with a 25yo wife... why should the males have a monopoly?

We do look and trust me, people say things.

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

It is still the norm for people to want to create replacements. A 65 year old man can still do that. A 65 year old woman not so easy. In many countries this is more important than others. IF you are doing the cougar thing and the man does NOT have children already this is the main question you are probably going to have to cover. I am significantly older than husband ( but he is not younger than my children I still find that concept creepy ) But that was not an issue really in the interview. although we know our path to his replacements. We failed our first interview because they decided to demand he taill the CO details of my work in return for a visa ( which is something he does not know to this day )

[LionessDeon 2,060]

Well said Agrabs. Why is it looked at different when the woman is older. I have dated younger men, at one point 21 years my junior. I don't care for the term cougar because I am not on the prowl for younger men. I wouldn't have minded finding a man more my age. Seems they're all married or completely set in their ways and boring. I'm young at heart like to have fun. Maybe I'm in denial of my age. Regardless, younger men constantly approach me and are relentless in their pursuit. We have all kinds of things in common....music, travel, philosophy, values etc. From what they tell me young girls are promiscuous, flighty, drama filled, and immature. They want a fulfilling relationship. Older women know what we want and have our heads on straight. And as far as physical attraction...age never enters my mind and no one ever thinks I'm my age. Good genes I guess lol

[B_J 2,752]

This may sound judgemental, but I'm just curious and trying to understand it. It's just not "normal" in society, especially in the region where it seems to be happening most.

If it is real, is it some kind of "mommy" thing, not cared for enough as a baby?

Personally, I think that 90% of these cases as for GC only, either a business transaction between both parties or the all too often seen straight out scam by the beneficiary pretending until the time when he no longer needs the USC.

Any thoughts?

I'm going to go way out on a limb here and say: maybe they fell in love just like everybody else.

It is very common for me to see two people and wonder, "what do they see in each other?" But, that doesn't make me think it's a business transaction or anything else. I just assume they see something in each other that I don't.

[rlogan 2,036]

(Please note that this post is meant as satire and should be read as such. Thank you - VJ Moderation Team)

You know what really makes me sick? When I see people that I don't want to screw together as a couple. Just think about that for a minute. They're having SEX with each other. God how gross.

Fat people, short people, tall people, ones with handicaps, colored people, old people, young people, ones that wear clothes I don't like or stupid religions, democrats, republicans, south-siders, people that drive old cars or play badmitton. I could just puke thinking about all the people out there that I don't want to have sex with - and yet there they are, banging away as if they actually LIKED it.

It has to be something else, right? They can't be ATTRACTED to each other or have FEELINGS - because I don't. And come to think of it there are people that eat snails, bugs, raw fish, or God Help Us - they watch cars driving around in circles for 500 miles and scream as if they were EXCITED about it.

I am the smartest, most insightful person since the beginning of time, the perfect human, more God than human and it follows that people who do different from me are not just wrong, but stinking, putrid puddles of writhing evil bacteria that could very well infect the earth and kill us off.

Any questions for His Majesty?

Edited June 2, 2014 by Kathryn41