Upcoming I-751 Found Out Spouse Is Pregnant By Another Man!

[cablewyres 38]

Hi Everyone,

 

I am very distraught as I am typing this post. We are about to file for joint petition to remove conditions on October 2018 in about 1.5 months away. I just found out today that my wife is possibly pregnant by another man. I am so frustrated and feel so lost in all this. I have noticed that she has been working late the past couple of months. She started to be cold and distant. When I ask her if she's okay, when I know...I KNOW that we've not been too okay, she says yes or just shrugs me off. We've been fighting and what not. I try not to make a big deal out of things but I have been suspecting that something is off. We loved each other but now, I just don't know anymore. Now this. She finally told me today that she has been seeing this other guy whom she met at an office party. They've been seeing each other the past couple of months and now she suspects that she is pregnant with his child. I can't stand this. I know for a fact that I am not the father, since at least on my part, I have been taking preventive measures because I wanted for us to have our children when I am fully able to support them but not as of now. I am planning on pursuing further education to be able to build a good life for when we do have kids but MY KIDS. I don't know what to do.

I don't have time to even drag my feet to take all of this in, because we have an I-751 soon that needs to be filed. I'm not sure if delaying divorce proceedings would cause me to end up paying child support for a child that isn't mine. I have no hatred against the child if she is indeed pregnant, but I also can't jeopardize the future life of me with my own kids. And I don't think I can longer stand to be hurt repeatedly with all the lies and betrayal.

 

How should I proceed with our I-751?

Will I end up paying child support for a child who isn't mine even if I do a DNA test and if divorce is finalized before she gives birth? (given that we do decide to get divorced. this is too much for me.)

Can anyone shed some light in this matter? I would greatly appreciate it.

Edited August 30, 2018 by cablewyres

[CEE53147 559]

You will get better advice on the freeadvice and expertlaw forums. Most states will not allow a divorce when the wife is pregnant but will allow husband to dispute that he is the father at the time of a divorce action. 

 

The removal of conditions is a totally different matter. Whether to proceed is your choice since you are unlikely to be able to finalize a divorce quickly. I suggest you should consult a divorce attorney with knowledge of immigration issues.

 

You should know that if you remain married, even if the child is found not to be yours, you will likely end up supporting the child since so many do not comply with child support orders.

 

I am sorry you find yourself in this position. You sound like you are very responsible in planning for your future and deserve better than this complicating factor.

 

 

[Going through 5,668]

If you plan on divorcing, you can file the i-751 with a divorce waiver while going through divorce proceedings... however the i-751 cannot be approved until the final divorce decree is received by USCIS.

 

As for the family stuff...in California, you CAN divorce your wife while she is pregnant, however the divorce cannot be finalized until after the baby is born.  There will be a legal presumption that the baby is biologically yours since you were married to the mother at the time of conception however DNA tests can be ordered to prove paternity (after the baby is born) if you are filing the divorce because of an affair.

 

Child support is a bit trickier and depends on a few factors.  For example, if you decide to wait on the divorce until your ROC is over, and the paternity dispute/DNA testing is not ordered before the child turns 2 years of age, under California divorce laws you can find yourself then "stuck" with child support  even if the child is not biologically yours.  Best to consult a good divorce attorney.

Edited August 30, 2018 by Going through

[cablewyres 38]

46 minutes ago, CEE53147 said:

You will get better advice on the freeadvice and expertlaw forums. Most states will not allow a divorce when the wife is pregnant but will allow husband to dispute that he is the father at the time of a divorce action. 

 

The removal of conditions is a totally different matter. Whether to proceed is your choice since you are unlikely to be able to finalize a divorce quickly. I suggest you should consult a divorce attorney with knowledge of immigration issues.

 

You should know that if you remain married, even if the child is found not to be yours, you will likely end up supporting the child since so many do not comply with child support orders.

 

I am sorry you find yourself in this position. You sound like you are very responsible in planning for your future and deserve better than this complicating factor.

 

 

Thank you for your response and empathy. It is difficult dealing with this when you've especially done nothing wrong but have to worry about consequences done by someone else. I will look into these sources.

[cablewyres 38]

26 minutes ago, Going through said:

If you plan on divorcing, you can file the i-751 with a divorce waiver while going through divorce proceedings... however the i-751 cannot be approved until the final divorce decree is received by USCIS.

 

As for the family stuff...in California, you CAN divorce your wife while she is pregnant, however the divorce cannot be finalized until after the baby is born.  There will be a legal presumption that the baby is biologically yours since you were married to the mother at the time of conception however DNA tests can be ordered to prove paternity (after the baby is born) if you are filing the divorce because of an affair.

 

Child support is a bit trickier and depends on a few factors.  Best to consult a good divorce attorney.

Thank you for the information. It gives me a little bit of understanding where I stand and what I can do to tackle this hurdle. In your own knowledge of the matter, if DNA test does prove that I am not the biological father due to an affair, will I be able to avoid child support?

I will look into consulting an attorney. Here's another thing regarding my situation, I was planning on studying in WA state for 2 months in about 3 months from now, but I might just stay there if my wife and I area separating/divorcing. Do I still file our divorce in CA where we currently have our address reported to USCIS through AR-11?

Edited August 30, 2018 by cablewyres

[Dashinka 23,245]

1 hour ago, cablewyres said:

Hi Everyone,

 

I am very distraught as I am typing this post. We are about to file for joint petition to remove conditions on October 2018 in about 1.5 months away. I just found out today that my wife is possibly pregnant by another man. I am so frustrated and feel so lost in all this. I have noticed that she has been working late the past couple of months. She started to be cold and distant. When I ask her if she's okay, when I know...I KNOW that we've not been too okay, she says yes or just shrugs me off. We've been fighting and what not. I try not to make a big deal out of things but I have been suspecting that something is off. We loved each other but now, I just don't know anymore. Now this. She finally told me today that she has been seeing this other guy whom she met at an office party. They've been seeing each other the past couple of months and now she suspects that she is pregnant with his child. I can't stand this. I know for a fact that I am not the father, since at least on my part, I have been taking preventive measures because I wanted for us to have our children when I am fully able to support them but not as of now. I am planning on pursuing further education to be able to build a good life for when we do have kids but MY KIDS. I don't know what to do.

I don't have time to even drag my feet to take all of this in, because we have an I-751 soon that needs to be filed. I'm not sure if delaying divorce proceedings would cause me to end up paying child support for a child that isn't mine. I have no hatred against the child if she is indeed pregnant, but I also can't jeopardize the future life of me with my own kids. And I don't think I can longer stand to be hurt repeatedly with all the lies and betrayal.

 

How should I proceed with our I-751?

Will I end up paying child support for a child who isn't mine even if I do a DNA test and if divorce is finalized before she gives birth? (given that we do decide to get divorced. this is too much for me.)

Can anyone shed some light in this matter? I would greatly appreciate it.

Just curious, are you the USC or is your wife the USC?  If you are the USC and the ROC is for your wife to get a 10 year GC, then I wouldn't worry about it if you are planning on getting divorced.  She will need to deal with filing the I751 with a divorce waiver.  If you are the LPR then yes, you will need to deal with the ROC.

 

Good Luck!

[Chocobo 196]

With DNA testing you shouldn't have to worry about child support.  But as one of the previous posters said, the baby will be assumed to be yours so DNA testing will be required, and that won't happen until after the baby is born, so you have some time to wait. 

 

Spousal support may come into play, so keep that in mind.  And I believe California is a no fault state so assets will be divided 50/50.

 

Divorces are generally long and expensive so be prepared.  You may want to try to take care of your ROC and then deal with the divorce but definitely consult with an attorney.  If you move states then the divorce laws will be different so take time to Google the divorce laws in those states before you make up your mind, but bottom line, if baby is not yours then child support will not be a factor. 

[Going through 5,668]

1 hour ago, cablewyres said:

In your own knowledge of the matter, if DNA test does prove that I am not the biological father due to an affair, will I be able to avoid child support?

 

As I mentioned earlier, timing is one important factor:

 

2 hours ago, Going through said:

Child support is a bit trickier and depends on a few factors.  For example, if you decide to wait on the divorce until your ROC is over, and the paternity dispute/DNA testing is not ordered before the child turns 2 years of age, under California divorce laws you can find yourself then "stuck" with child support  even if the child is not biologically yours.  Best to consult a good divorce attorney.

 

There's also the chance that the child IS yours, if you have been having sexual relations with your wife---no birth control/withdrawal method is 100% fail-safe.

Edited August 30, 2018 by Going through

[CEE53147 559]

1 hour ago, Chocobo said:

With DNA testing you shouldn't have to worry about child support.  But as one of the previous posters said, the baby will be assumed to be yours so DNA testing will be required, and that won't happen until after the baby is born, so you have some time to wait. 

 

Spousal support may come into play, so keep that in mind.  And I believe California is a no fault state so assets will be divided 50/50.

 

Divorces are generally long and expensive so be prepared.  You may want to try to take care of your ROC and then deal with the divorce but definitely consult with an attorney.  If you move states then the divorce laws will be different so take time to Google the divorce laws in those states before you make up your mind, but bottom line, if baby is not yours then child support will not be a factor. 

There are many consideration in the division of assets and spousal support.  Categorically declaring 50/50 division is inappropriate.

 

Disavowing parentage of a child has a time limit.

[Chocobo 196]

Marital assets in CA are divided equally.

[Boiler 43,434]

I assumed the wife if from PI.

[Russ&Caro 1,548]

Best to get a good divorce lawyer for a lot of reasons. Even though most states have no fault divorce, and assets (and liabilities) that are accumulated during the marriage are theoretically split 50-50, there's a lot of different ways divorces are resolved where 50-50 doesn't seem like 50-50. For example, a friend who was married to a self-employed guy for 20 years got out from under her marriage without being stuck for any portion of $70,000 in back taxes that the IRS came to collect. I don't know her divorce attorney but he must be good.

[Washington123 19]

I am sorry for what happened to you. It appears that you are the beneficiary of I-751 so I would suggest you act normal and file the ROC and after you get your unconditional green card, proceed with the divorce. Sticking with your wife would be toxic.

[WeGuyGal 1,052]

Timeline shows that the beneficiary (green card holder) is the Mister. Pregnant wife is USC. 

[Highmystic 234]

7 hours ago, cablewyres said:

 

Can anyone shed some light in this matter? I would greatly appreciate it.

Every state has some ups and downs.  When I filed years ago on my first wife, I just bought a divorce packet and filled it out, and filed it.  We both eventually went to the court house and signed,  then waited.  The forms specify how it is to be divided (50-50) and if she signs it, it's good to go and a no-fault.  non reconciled differences.  I agree with others though, given your situation to seek expert legal advice due to DNA testing  and timing on the birth, if indeed pregnant.