extortion?

[Dgk421fulton 9]

Hi, things r not going very well. We talked for 2 years before she came over here. Once here all we talked about changed. Lots of tampo and sleeping on the couch. I put off filling out the paperwork cause of this. I finally filled out the paperwork and sent it in. Since then she has joined many private online groups. Keeps her phone on private code and puts it face down. If I get close to her, she pushes the back button. She is on her phone non stop. She locks herself in the bathroom for hours on it.She walks the streets why I'm at work, sometimes for hours. I come home and she isn't there. She has thrown away all the clothes and shoes I bought her. She also threw away all r wedding pics and frames.She has been mailed so far 3 purses, perfume and bikini. She says this stuff comes from online surveys. When I ask more about it, she gets defensive. She now tells me I forced her to come to America. I don't understand that, she asked me every week to fill out paperwork when she was there. She doesn't like staying home, but also doesn't like coming to work with me. I do handyman stuff. She is bored, so I told her I would pay her to paint instead of my crew. She did it, but then called it abuse. I asked her to help me Carry in a counter top.. She called that abuse. She tells my male and female couple workers that it's abuse when there girl does work. She said cause I didn't fill out paperwork right away that it was abuse of power. I pay for everything and take her on many trips, but because I won't give her weekly allowance then that's financial abuse. These r words she doesn't know, but just as soon as she talks online to someone, these words come out. She put on Facebook about wanting a divorce, so everyone asked questions. I finally unfriended her because of all the remarks. My friends who r her friends now say she has a made up name on there.. Well she has now got her combo card a few weeks ago. I asked her if she was happy, still tampo. I ask her don't you even appreciate it. She said u was forced, u had no choice, cause if u didn't fill out paperwork I would of said you verbally abuse me and r gas lighting me. I said what? wow and what is gas lighting. I had to look it up. She said u play with paperwork and I play back harder. A few days later she said she didn't mean it and was just mad. After her saying that, I contacted a lawyer about divorce. He said we could do a simple divorce r self fast and cheap. I told her about it, she said no way. I want lawyers and will fight u to the end on divorce. Now lately she has been nice to me, but now back to tampo.. She also is very jealous of my x from 6 years ago. She tore my garage apart and found a old letter from her ten years ago and said to me u r loser cause u had failed past relationships. I said we all have, including you had two failed before me. She said no its you. She checks through all my stuff always looking for things to use against me, says I'm cheating all the time. Asks family and friends to try and get things on me. She even contacted another Filipina I was talking to when I first starting talking to her over 2 years ago. She calls that cheating too, cause I talked to her at the start of r talking too. I feel like I'm living with the enemy and somewhat trying to extort me.I tried talking to her many times, she only screams or does tampo. I tried giving tampo back, but she can last for weeks. I tried joking with her to get her out of it, but it doesn't work. She says I treat her horrible. I said, give me a example. She said cause u tell me to keep the change. When she buys something, like a snack or something and there is ten dollars change,I tell her to keep it. I have done this since she got here. She says that's abuse. She says cooking, cleaning is abuse and I need to hire a maid.

[Merrytooth 5,748]

At least she did not ask for $10,000 allowance like Anfisa (90-days fiancee)

Divorce and move on.

Protect yourself from false domestic violence as well.

[Mollie09 1,543]

Pull the I-864 and she won't get a GC

[gregcrs2 1,777]

Be careful what or who you want in life...you may get it.

[RodDetroit 118]

From now on you should record every conversation you have with her and she has to be aware of it. Pull whatever immigration information is under your name and get the divorce, tell her she is not entitled of any thing and she wont get any thing. if you are renting move out when the lease is up, if it's your house you will need an order to kick her out .

[Ontarkie 13,913]

~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes from the PI Regional forum ~~

[Georgia16 2,858]

I agree with the other poster about pulling that I-864 ASAP! ... As soon as she has that GC you won't she her butt again!!

[milimelo 4,191]

Pull the I-864 and move on. I'd still get her a ticket back to her home country (unless you bought a return-trip when she was coming in k1 visa).

[abhi_meli 150]

I think you brought a Snake in your life,in the form of your wife.No matter how much love,care or affection you show,the snake will bite.Get her out of your life and this country asap.She deserves to be back in Philippines.You need to be very careful while doing all this as she is getting all kinds of BS advice from the people online,probably people from her own country on how to file false domestic violence against you.Looks like some people simple do not deserve to live in a Civilized country.

[Brazil2USA2016 7]

what is tampo?? I have never heard this word and it makes the context unable to be understood

[gregcrs2 1,777]

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tampo

[Ontarkie 13,913]

what is tampo?? I have never heard this word and it makes the context unable to be understood

From what I understand it's a huge temper tantrum

[aratamorne 164]

I am going to play devil's advocate because there are two sides to every story and this is only one. No answers required, but I wonder if you looked at it from this perspective. If you still love her and value your wife, perhaps this is how she might feel and does not know how to communicate it properly. Remember, she is coming from a different country with a different culture and traditions.

I put off filling out the paperwork cause of this. I finally filled out the paperwork and sent it in. - How long ago, has she received EAD and Advanced parole or the 2yr GC? Did you threaten to not file it??? That could be considered abuse.

She walks the streets why I'm at work, sometimes for hours. I come home and she isn't there. - Irrelevant unless she is a prisoner in your home and can only leave with you.

She doesn't like staying home, but also doesn't like coming to work with me. I do handyman stuff. She is bored, so I told her I would pay her to paint instead of my crew. - Does she have any interest in working as a painter? So if you offered to pay her, did you?

I pay for everything and take her on many trips, but because I won't give her weekly allowance then that's financial abuse. - So how do you plan to show co-mingling of assets? Why is there no account that she can draw from and needs to wait on you to pay for something or give her money?

She also is very jealous of my x from 6 years ago. - Do you pay alimony to your ex, but to not give her access to funds/allowance? I know this is a bit of a bitter pill to swallow for me, let alone my fiancee, since there is no divorce or alimony in PI.

She said cause u tell me to keep the change. When she buys something, like a snack or something and there is ten dollars change,I tell her to keep it. I have done this since she got here. - You married her, but she perceives that you are keeping control because you do not allow her access to your assets. My fiancee felt is was very insulting when I did that a couple times.

No judgement, just a different perspective. I would like to think that you both love each other, but just have not figured out how to communicate properly. I hope that you can get past this detour in your life and find a way to move forward together. If you cannot, then I hope that you can both find a way to move on with separate lives, wherever they may lead you.

Good Luck

Edited September 22, 2016 by aratamorne

[zuluweta 250]

Pull the affidavit of support NOW! Before that user gets a green card. Then send that person back. I'm speaking as a Filipino person who detests users and scammers (specially from the Philippines) who exploit lovestruck US citizens as an easy way to get here to the U.S.

[zuluweta 250]

From what I understand it's a huge temper tantrum

It doesn't have to be a huge temper tantrum. It can be a tantrum over the smallest of things and the tampo could manifest itself in small ways or big ways. Behavior such as ignoring the other partner, making faces, other forms of passive-aggressive behavior, and mostly non-verbal behavior that would imply hurt or displeasure are symptoms of tampo.