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Hi, things r not going very well. We talked for 2 years before she came over here. Once here all we talked about changed. Lots of tampo and sleeping on the couch. I put off filling out the paperwork cause of this. I finally filled out the paperwork and sent it in. Since then she has joined many private online groups. Keeps her phone on private code and puts it face down. If I get close to her, she pushes the back button. She is on her phone non stop. She locks herself in the bathroom for hours on it.She walks the streets why I'm at work, sometimes for hours. I come home and she isn't there. She has thrown away all the clothes and shoes I bought her. She also threw away all r wedding pics and frames.She has been mailed so far 3 purses, perfume and bikini. She says this stuff comes from online surveys. When I ask more about it, she gets defensive. She now tells me I forced her to come to America. I don't understand that, she asked me every week to fill out paperwork when she was there. She doesn't like staying home, but also doesn't like coming to work with me. I do handyman stuff. She is bored, so I told her I would pay her to paint instead of my crew. She did it, but then called it abuse. I asked her to help me Carry in a counter top.. She called that abuse. She tells my male and female couple workers that it's abuse when there girl does work. She said cause I didn't fill out paperwork right away that it was abuse of power. I pay for everything and take her on many trips, but because I won't give her weekly allowance then that's financial abuse. These r words she doesn't know, but just as soon as she talks online to someone, these words come out. She put on Facebook about wanting a divorce, so everyone asked questions. I finally unfriended her because of all the remarks. My friends who r her friends now say she has a made up name on there.. Well she has now got her combo card a few weeks ago. I asked her if she was happy, still tampo. I ask her don't you even appreciate it. She said u was forced, u had no choice, cause if u didn't fill out paperwork I would of said you verbally abuse me and r gas lighting me. I said what? wow and what is gas lighting. I had to look it up. She said u play with paperwork and I play back harder. A few days later she said she didn't mean it and was just mad. After her saying that, I contacted a lawyer about divorce. He said we could do a simple divorce r self fast and cheap. I told her about it, she said no way. I want lawyers and will fight u to the end on divorce. Now lately she has been nice to me, but now back to tampo.. She also is very jealous of my x from 6 years ago. She tore my garage apart and found a old letter from her ten years ago and said to me u r loser cause u had failed past relationships. I said we all have, including you had two failed before me. She said no its you. She checks through all my stuff always looking for things to use against me, says I'm cheating all the time. Asks family and friends to try and get things on me. She even contacted another Filipina I was talking to when I first starting talking to her over 2 years ago. She calls that cheating too, cause I talked to her at the start of r talking too. I feel like I'm living with the enemy and somewhat trying to extort me.I tried talking to her many times, she only screams or does tampo. I tried giving tampo back, but she can last for weeks. I tried joking with her to get her out of it, but it doesn't work. She says I treat her horrible. I said, give me a example. She said cause u tell me to keep the change. When she buys something, like a snack or something and there is ten dollars change,I tell her to keep it. I have done this since she got here. She says that's abuse. She says cooking, cleaning is abuse and I need to hire a maid.

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Be careful what or who you want in life...you may get it.


USCIS

Married: 08/12/2016

I-130 sent: 08/16/2016

NOA1: 08/18/2016

Received email 09/19/2016 that I-130 was approved 09/17/2016.

On 09/21/2016, I-130 approval date changed to 09/19/2016.

I-130 approved: 09/19/2016

Received hard copy NOA2: 09/23/2016

Sent to NVC: 10/11/2016 No text or email from USCIS. Had to log into USCIS account to find out.

NVC

NVC Received: 10/18/2016

Case # and IIN#: 10/27/2016

Choice of Agent -DS-261: 10/27/2016

AOS Fee Invoiced: 10/29/2016

AOS Fee Paid: 10/29/2016

DS-261 reviewed over the phone: 10/31/2016

IV Fee Invoiced: 11/02/2016

IV Fee Paid: 11/02/2016

DS-260 Completed: 11/04/2016

Sent AOS & IV Package: 11/03/2016

Scan Date: 11/07/2016

RFE: 11/09/2016 (NVC wants I-864 instead of I-864EZ)

RFE Response Submittal: 11/09/2016

Case Complete by phone call: 11/10/2016

Case Complete by email: 11/18/2016

Interview Appointment letter by email: 12/01/2016

Left NVC: 12/02/2016

Embassy

Case Ready at Embassy: 12/05/2016

Case Ready and "touched" at Embassy" 12/16/2016

Medical Date: 12/21/2016 Sputum testing required so this sets us back at least a few months.

Interview Date: 01/04/2017  Interview went well.  We are in "administrative Processing" until negative Sputum Test result is received in March.  The consulate will then issue the Immigrant Visa. So there is nothing further for us to do.  We agreed to have the consulate cancel My wife's B1/B2 visa from an older passport and it was stamped "cancelled without prejudice".  We did this now so she would not have to go back to the consulate to have it done later.

Visa Issued:  03/07/2017

Visa in Hand: 03/08/2017

POE:  03/29/2017 Charlotte, NC  Processed quickly at airport (about 20 minutes with CBP) and was not even asked any questions.

Social Security Card:  Received 04/07/2017 (processed through CBP at POE)

Green Card Received:  4/19/2017

 

Removal of Conditions

File ROC (I-751):  eligible 12/29/2018

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~~Moved to Effects of Major Family Changes from the PI Regional forum ~~


Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

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I agree with the other poster about pulling that I-864 ASAP! ... As soon as she has that GC you won't she her butt again!!


K-1 + K-2:                                                                                                                                AOS from K-1 + K-2:

02/02/16....I-129F mailed to Lewisville, TX                                                                       08/25/16....AOS package mailed to Chicago, IL

02/03/16....Delivered at Lewisville, TX                                                                               08/26/16....Delivered at Chicago, IL

02/08/16....NOA1 Text & E-mail. Case sent to CSC                                                         09/01/16....NOA1 Text & E-mail

02/12/16....NOA1 Hard copy received                                                                               09/09/16....NOA1 Hard copy received

03/24/16....NOA2 (45 days)                                                                                                 09/15/16....Bio-letter received for K-1/K-2 for Sep. 26th

03/29/16....NOA2 Hard copy received                                                                               09/19/16....Bio appointment done (Walk-in)

03/31/16....Medical                                                                                                              11/01/16.....EAD/AP approved

05/26/16....Interview                                                                                                            11/16/16.....EAD/AP card received

06/10/16....Visa in hand                                                                                                       03/08/17.....AOS Approved - No interview

06/21/16....POE Atlanta                                                                                                       03/15/17.....Green cards in hand

07/30/16....Wedding                                                                                                    

                                                                                                                                       12/08/18.....ROC window opens

 

ROC from K-1 + K-2:

12/13/18....I-751 mailed to Lewisville, TX

12/14/18....Delivered at Lewisville, TX

 

 

 

 

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Pull the I-864 and move on. I'd still get her a ticket back to her home country (unless you bought a return-trip when she was coming in k1 visa).


Removal of Conditions Journey

3/3/2009 - Removal of conditions - sent off packet to CSC

3/5/2009 - I-751 received in CSC

3/9/2009 - Check cashed

3/20/2009 - Biometrics notice received (no NOA1)

4/2/2009 - Biometrics

4/9/2009 - NOA1 date (first undelivered one is 3/5)

4/3/2009 - Touch?

5/6/2009 - ROC Approval - 65 days

6/22/2009 - CRIS Card production ordered email

7/7/2009 - GC arrived!

Naturalization Journey

3/03/2010 N400 sent to Arizona Lockbox

3/15/2010 Check cashed

3/17/2010 NOA1

3/18/2010 - Biometrics notice sent

3/26/2010 Early biometrics done at an ASC different from the one assigned to (Original BIO date was 4/15)

4/30/2010 Yellow letter received and info from USCIS mil line they are working on my interview letter (6/17 appt)

5/1/2010 Text and email interview letter sen

5/6/2010 Interview letter received - scheduled for 6/17/2010 at 10:05am

6/17/2010 Interview appointment - PASSED

6/29/2010 US Citizen

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what is tampo?? I have never heard this word and it makes the context unable to be understood


04/19/16 PD - NOA1 (Potomac Service Center)

07/13/16 Transferred to National Benefits Center to "speed up" processing

08/06/16 Transferred to Local Field Office (Philadelphia) for Marriage Interview

10/04/16 - Congressional Inquiry

01/05/17 - Ombudsman says will receive Interview letter within 30 Days!

02/01/17 - Marriage Interview

02/02/17 - I-130 Approved!!!  :D

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USCIS

Married: 08/12/2016

I-130 sent: 08/16/2016

NOA1: 08/18/2016

Received email 09/19/2016 that I-130 was approved 09/17/2016.

On 09/21/2016, I-130 approval date changed to 09/19/2016.

I-130 approved: 09/19/2016

Received hard copy NOA2: 09/23/2016

Sent to NVC: 10/11/2016 No text or email from USCIS. Had to log into USCIS account to find out.

NVC

NVC Received: 10/18/2016

Case # and IIN#: 10/27/2016

Choice of Agent -DS-261: 10/27/2016

AOS Fee Invoiced: 10/29/2016

AOS Fee Paid: 10/29/2016

DS-261 reviewed over the phone: 10/31/2016

IV Fee Invoiced: 11/02/2016

IV Fee Paid: 11/02/2016

DS-260 Completed: 11/04/2016

Sent AOS & IV Package: 11/03/2016

Scan Date: 11/07/2016

RFE: 11/09/2016 (NVC wants I-864 instead of I-864EZ)

RFE Response Submittal: 11/09/2016

Case Complete by phone call: 11/10/2016

Case Complete by email: 11/18/2016

Interview Appointment letter by email: 12/01/2016

Left NVC: 12/02/2016

Embassy

Case Ready at Embassy: 12/05/2016

Case Ready and "touched" at Embassy" 12/16/2016

Medical Date: 12/21/2016 Sputum testing required so this sets us back at least a few months.

Interview Date: 01/04/2017  Interview went well.  We are in "administrative Processing" until negative Sputum Test result is received in March.  The consulate will then issue the Immigrant Visa. So there is nothing further for us to do.  We agreed to have the consulate cancel My wife's B1/B2 visa from an older passport and it was stamped "cancelled without prejudice".  We did this now so she would not have to go back to the consulate to have it done later.

Visa Issued:  03/07/2017

Visa in Hand: 03/08/2017

POE:  03/29/2017 Charlotte, NC  Processed quickly at airport (about 20 minutes with CBP) and was not even asked any questions.

Social Security Card:  Received 04/07/2017 (processed through CBP at POE)

Green Card Received:  4/19/2017

 

Removal of Conditions

File ROC (I-751):  eligible 12/29/2018

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what is tampo?? I have never heard this word and it makes the context unable to be understood

From what I understand it's a huge temper tantrum


Spoiler

Met Playing Everquest in 2005
Engaged 9-15-2006
K-1 & 4 K-2'S
Filed 05-09-07
Interview 03-12-08
Visa received 04-21-08
Entry 05-06-08
Married 06-21-08
AOS X5
Filed 07-08-08
Cards Received01-22-09
Roc X5
Filed 10-17-10
Cards Received02-22-11
Citizenship
Filed 10-17-11
Interview 01-12-12
Oath 06-29-12

Citizenship for older 2 boys

Filed 03/08/2014

NOA/fee waiver 03/19/2014

Biometrics 04/15/14

Interview 05/29/14

In line for Oath 06/20/14

Oath 09/19/2014 We are all done! All USC no more USCIS

 

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I am going to play devil's advocate because there are two sides to every story and this is only one. No answers required, but I wonder if you looked at it from this perspective. If you still love her and value your wife, perhaps this is how she might feel and does not know how to communicate it properly. Remember, she is coming from a different country with a different culture and traditions.

I put off filling out the paperwork cause of this. I finally filled out the paperwork and sent it in. - How long ago, has she received EAD and Advanced parole or the 2yr GC? Did you threaten to not file it??? That could be considered abuse.

She walks the streets why I'm at work, sometimes for hours. I come home and she isn't there. - Irrelevant unless she is a prisoner in your home and can only leave with you.

She doesn't like staying home, but also doesn't like coming to work with me. I do handyman stuff. She is bored, so I told her I would pay her to paint instead of my crew. - Does she have any interest in working as a painter? So if you offered to pay her, did you?

I pay for everything and take her on many trips, but because I won't give her weekly allowance then that's financial abuse. - So how do you plan to show co-mingling of assets? Why is there no account that she can draw from and needs to wait on you to pay for something or give her money?

She also is very jealous of my x from 6 years ago. - Do you pay alimony to your ex, but to not give her access to funds/allowance? I know this is a bit of a bitter pill to swallow for me, let alone my fiancee, since there is no divorce or alimony in PI.

She said cause u tell me to keep the change. When she buys something, like a snack or something and there is ten dollars change,I tell her to keep it. I have done this since she got here. - You married her, but she perceives that you are keeping control because you do not allow her access to your assets. My fiancee felt is was very insulting when I did that a couple times.

No judgement, just a different perspective. I would like to think that you both love each other, but just have not figured out how to communicate properly. I hope that you can get past this detour in your life and find a way to move forward together. If you cannot, then I hope that you can both find a way to move on with separate lives, wherever they may lead you.

Good Luck

Edited by aratamorne

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From what I understand it's a huge temper tantrum

It doesn't have to be a huge temper tantrum. It can be a tantrum over the smallest of things and the tampo could manifest itself in small ways or big ways. Behavior such as ignoring the other partner, making faces, other forms of passive-aggressive behavior, and mostly non-verbal behavior that would imply hurt or displeasure are symptoms of tampo.


Check my timeline for K-1 visa & AOS details

Conditional Permanent Resident: 16 September 2014

Conditional GC Expires: 16 September 2016

ROC Journey (CA Service Center)

2016-Sep-14: I-751 form, check, supporting docs sent USPS Priority Express

2016-Sep-15: ROC application received & signed for by Lakelieh

2016-Sep-15: NOA receipt date

2016-Sep-19: $590 check cashed by USCIS

2016-Sep-20: NOA/ 1-year extension letter received in mail

2018-Feb-26: ROC case transferred to local office

2018-Mar-06: ROC approved via USCIS website (WAC status check)

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