Don't want to renew wife's green card

[Merrytooth 5,748]

I've seen that same situation before. Filipinos can be very competitive. If your wife falls in with the wrong crowd and starts taking bad advice you can find yourself in a bad spot. But I wouldn't be playing these games with it. Playing games is a no win situation. Explain where you stand on things to her, find compromise where you can, and if not set her free.

Being competitive is one thing

But telling the husband that she will leave him for someone who will give her a better life, IMHO is already crossing the line and no turning back.

What would you propose to find compromise in this case then?

“Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother f***ker's reflection.”

[teddy k 35]

I thought that when you go through ROC you have to show certain proofs

[Transborderwife 4,666]

She only needs to prove that she had a bonifide marriage with a divorce waiver.

[EmilyW 1,222]

Protect yourself OP. Watch out for VAWA, since she's being advised / manipulated. IMO, she's behaving for her daughter's sake.

Take the high road. Do what a reasonable person would and set her up. And then walk away with a clear conscience.

[IguanaCouple 26]

She's got family here an uncle who is a lawyer I don't think she needs nada from the OP. She's only in it for the immigration benefits, IMO.

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

Like somebody already said, she showed you her hand. It's not about her adjusting to life here. She has her mind made up and just waiting until the right time. You can't undo that.

She calmed down for the daughter's sake. As soon as the visa is approved, see you later.

Cancel the daughter's petition. And dump her and her stuff out on the street. And move on with your life.

(Like others said, she may try for VAWA claim (claiming abuse) so don't be alone with her, if possible.)

Edited April 8, 2016 by Eric-Pris

[Caryh 5,206]

her family advised her to re-adjust her attitude until her daughter

gets here, and possible until she apply to naturalize in another two years

get out now by divorcing she already showed her hand

Her family very well might have. All depends on their morals. My wife's family would be horrified at such a suggestion and would advise my wife to straighten up and be the good wife she should be. Just like anywhere, there are families with good morals and pride, and those that would use anyone to get what they want. We have no way of knowing which her family really is.

ROC weeds out some marital fraud. So that one doesn't get their gc and just take off

in theory, but who knows how effective it actually is. It was passed by congress and signed into law to fight a perceived element of fraud in marriage based immigration.

[Caryh 5,206]

Being competitive is one thing

But telling the husband that she will leave him for someone who will give her a better life, IMHO is already crossing the line and no turning back.

What would you propose to find compromise in this case then?

“Trust is like a mirror, you can fix it if it's broken, but you can still see the crack in that mother f***ker's reflection.”

I tend to agree with you, in his situation its likely gone too far for anything to work, but how much do we really know of the whole situation. My comment was more of a warning for others with a new immigrant souse here, who find her associating with the wrong crowd. The desire to connect with someone from their home country is strong at first. So the normal social hesitancy to get to understand their values and if their even decent people before becoming good friends can get left behind. Suddenly their believing all sorts of nonsense because their friend is saying it and it can drive a wedge in the marriage. I saw it crop up in my own marriage but warned my wife, and she was smart enough to see it once it was pointed out. Now we laugh about some of the different crowds of Filipinas married to Americans in out city. The divorced or soon to be crowd. The we've got more than you crowd (until they join the former group). The back stab anyone who isn't with us crowd (you hear from them when they find out they were the latest target). The out without the husband crowd (also known as the don't post those pics on facebook crowd). Makes me glad my wife and I managed to get through that quagmire without getting caught up with the wrong people. They seem to be the easiest filipinas to run into and befriend when a Filipina first arrives here. Turns out over time we found they were a minority of the ladies from her country, just way too easy to find at the beginning.

[Boiler 43,450]

I doubt if a month goes by without seeing a very similar thread involving PI.

Often it seems both parties got what they deserve.

[Caryh 5,206]

I doubt if a month goes by without seeing a very similar thread involving PI.

Often it seems both parties got what they deserve.

:yes: Too often both sides are falling in love with the fantasy of what they think the other is. You might be able to fall in love with a stereotype long distance, but the reality of face to face makes them wake up to the mistake they made when they discover the stereotype isn't the real person.

[Cathi 5,610]

I think i will give her daughters petition a real slow ride

No, pull it!!! This woman is USING you. Protect yourself!!

[Cathi 5,610]

I doubt if a month goes by without seeing a very similar thread involving PI.

Often it seems both parties got what they deserve.

I gave it a day

[POA 175]

I mean i give her what she wants but now she wants more since she's been talking with other Filipinos. Plus i just. Filed the i-130 for her daughter too

I know were is she coming from. Talking with other Filipinos sometimes doesn't help. Because all we do is brag about whatever we have which leads to envy and wanting more if someone told us about something that we don't have. But that doesn't mean that's right. When I feel this way, my husband just reminds me how happy are we, how I am loved by my in-laws and all our plans together. No one has everything. She's even lucky you are willing to take care of her daughter. For me that's a big deal. That person who can provide "more" might not even really provide more and she will just regret if she left you just because she wants more. If she wants more then she need to do something to have more. I hate to say this but it sucks seeing people like this. Always wanting to rely everything to other people instead of looking for ways to make her life better.

She''s not worth it.

[POA 175]

I've seen that same situation before. Filipinos can be very competitive. If your wife falls in with the wrong crowd and starts taking bad advice you can find yourself in a bad spot. But I wouldn't be playing these games with it. Playing games is a no win situation. Explain where you stand on things to her, find compromise where you can, and if not set her free.

Absolutely correct! It's not that I hate my own people but I'd rather hang out with my local friends. I learn more about the culture and doesn't give me headache about what they have that I don't have!

[Tahoma 2,291]

I doubt if a month goes by without seeing a very similar thread involving PI.

Do you think that may have something to do with the fact that there are twice as many K-1ers from the Philippines than the next two top countries combined?