My husband is threatening to revoke my permanent residency

[needhelpnow999 2]

I appreciate everyone’s responses, thank you very much. I feel the situation is really difficult at the moment for me, I am going to try my best to become completely independent as quickly as I can. I’m in the process of getting my driver’s license here in the US, so that is the first step for me. 
 

As for what is going to happen to our marriage, I have no idea at the moment. I am unsure and confused about everything.

 

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. 

[Cathi 5,610]

Make sure you report his physical abuse to the police. 

[Rocio0010 5,565]

12 hours ago, chi6488 said:

I would threaten his sorry (removed) back with he is responsible for you financially until you work enough quarters or get you US citizenship.  

 

What would be the purpose of doing so? Tantalize and aggravate? Yeah, not a good idea. The govt will remind him if they need to.

Edited April 25, 2022 by Ontarkie
edited quoted part for language

[Rocio0010 5,565]

4 minutes ago, needhelpnow999 said:

I appreciate everyone’s responses, thank you very much. I feel the situation is really difficult at the moment for me, I am going to try my best to become completely independent as quickly as I can. I’m in the process of getting my driver’s license here in the US, so that is the first step for me. 
 

As for what is going to happen to our marriage, I have no idea at the moment. I am unsure and confused about everything.

 

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. 

The very first thing you need to do is to secure a safe place, leave the house and don’t tell him where you’re at. That’s the most urgent thing to do. 
Report him to the police. Report, report, report. A violent person does not change, so he’s going to either do it to you or somebody else if no one reports. 
Make a copy of those reports and all the evidence of the relationship. You’ll need that later on. But as of now, that can wait. Get out. Now. 
I understand that you’re confused, but even if he says he’s sorry and he starts acting nicely, these people don’t change. It only gets worse with time.

Get out now. We’ll figure out the rest later.

[mushroomspore 3,043]

9 hours ago, needhelpnow999 said:

I appreciate everyone’s responses, thank you very much. I feel the situation is really difficult at the moment for me, I am going to try my best to become completely independent as quickly as I can. I’m in the process of getting my driver’s license here in the US, so that is the first step for me. 
 

As for what is going to happen to our marriage, I have no idea at the moment. I am unsure and confused about everything.

 

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. 

Please please please get yourself and your important documents and belongings somewhere safe and report the abuse to the police. By delaying these things, you are increasing the risk that your husband will take your documents from you as a means to control you. If he gets your documents, he can pretend to be you and make up lies to USCIS. At that point, you would be completely (removed). Report him now to the police so you have something to back you up.

Edited April 25, 2022 by Ontarkie
by-passing language filter

[Joyoussinger 1,410]

You've been advised by several people here to file a police report and get away from him as soon as possible. Please, please take this advice seriously and do it right now! Don't antagonize him with "threats" and don't try to do it yourself. You need help. The police will help you. A woman's shelter will help you, and if you can't find one the police will help you with that, too. Don't wait until you "become completely independent". I was once in an abusive marriage. I know all the feelings involved and I know all too well the danger. You really need to just go. Everything else can be sorted out later with the help of those who are trained to deal with this. Here is the national number for domestic violence support: https://www.thehotline.org/

Good luck to you and please, check back here to let us know how you're doing.

[mushroomspore 3,043]

42 minutes ago, needhelpnow999 said:

I appreciate everyone’s responses, thank you very much. I feel the situation is really difficult at the moment for me, I am going to try my best to become completely independent as quickly as I can. I’m in the process of getting my driver’s license here in the US, so that is the first step for me. 
 

As for what is going to happen to our marriage, I have no idea at the moment. I am unsure and confused about everything.

 

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. 

Also, if you have a joint bank account with your husband, go to the bank and open a new account in your name only and DO NOT tell your husband about it. Start applying for jobs and when you get hired, give them your own private account information and NOT the joint bank account.

[Sarge2155 4,570]

12 hours ago, chi6488 said:

I would threaten his sorry (removed) back with he is responsible for you financially until you work enough quarters or get you US citizenship.  

 

Not a very good idea!

Edited April 25, 2022 by Ontarkie
edited quoted part for language

[needhelpnow999 2]

Regardless of everything I care about my husband and I would not do that to him. Thank you for your suggestions, I appreciate the support so much. 

[mushroomspore 3,043]

18 minutes ago, needhelpnow999 said:

Regardless of everything I care about my husband and I would not do that to him. Thank you for your suggestions, I appreciate the support so much. 

https://www.loveisrespect.org/

 

Look, we all know we care about your husband. That is not the question here and that is not what is at stake. He has already hurt you and will continue to do so the longer you stay near him. This is a fact: you are in an abusive marriage and your husband is abusing you. Abusers kill their victims. That is literally the position you are in now: you are at risk of serious bodily injury and even death. Nobody is going to encourage you to stay in this marriage and this situation. Nobody is going to take back what we said about getting out of the house, filing a police report and talking to lawyers. We are going to keep saying that because if you do not do these things now, you will be left even more stranded than you are now. It is ultimately your choice how to handle it but you are the one who keeps saying you are confused and scared and we're the ones giving you the information that you need to help yourself.

Edited April 24, 2022 by mushroomspore

[Longingfor 195]

1 hour ago, needhelpnow999 said:

I appreciate everyone’s responses, thank you very much. I feel the situation is really difficult at the moment for me, I am going to try my best to become completely independent as quickly as I can. I’m in the process of getting my driver’s license here in the US, so that is the first step for me. 
 

As for what is going to happen to our marriage, I have no idea at the moment. I am unsure and confused about everything.

 

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. 

I know you appreciate what everyone has said but waiting until independent may result in you dying.

If your husband never before showed an ounce of this behavior when you guys were dating and in the marriage then this behavior is an explosive one and one that lead to him killing you.  Also if he has shown you hints of this in the past such as getting aggressive and punching walls or grabbing you when angry, it means he was showing you what he's capable of.  If you were my family member I would be saying the same thing because your life is worth so much more than trying to walk on eggshells to get to independence because you may not live to enjoy the independence. 

 

Lifetime, ID, Oxygen and True Crime has so many stories like yours and we know they don't end well.  

 

Sorry for being blunt but I work in healthcare and have seen abuse and women who are scared to say a word. So please take my advice and run for your life.

Edited April 24, 2022 by Longingfor

[mushroomspore 3,043]

4 minutes ago, Longingfor said:

I know you appreciate what everyone has said but waiting until independent may result in you dying.

If your husband never before showed an ounce of this behavior when you guys were dating and in the marriage then this behavior is an explosive one and one that lead to him killing you.  Also if he has shown you hints of this in the past such as getting aggressive and punching walls or grabbing you when angry, it means he was showing you what he's capable of.  If you were my family member I would be saying the same thing because your life is worth so much more than trying to walk on eggshells to get to independence because you may not live to enjoy the independence. 

 

Lifetime, ID, Oxygen and True Crime has so many stories like yours and we know they don't end well.  

 

Sorry for being blunt but I work in healthcare and have seen abuse and women who are scared to say a word. So please take my advice and run for your life.

I don't ever want to watch a Netflix true crime doc about a crazy dude who killed his immigrant wife who just got her green card and wonder if it's OP. 

[Longingfor 195]

3 minutes ago, mushroomspore said:

https://www.loveisrespect.org/

 

Look, we all know we care about your husband. That is not the question here and that is not what is at stake. He has already hurt you and will continue to do so the longer you stay near him. This is a fact: you are in an abusive marriage and your husband is abusing you. Abusers kill their victims. That is literally the position you are in now: you are at risk of serious bodily injury and even death. Nobody is going to encourage you to stay in this marriage and this situation. Nobody is going to take back what we said about getting out of the house, filing a police report and talking to lawyers. We are going to keep saying that because if you do not do these things now, you will be left even more stranded than you are now. It is ultimately your choice how to handle it but you are the one who keeps saying you are confused and scared and we're the ones giving you the information that you need to help yourself.

She has already experience bodily injury from him banging her arm between the door and the jam.  I think OP is not ready to fully comprehend the reality that she in. Until then OP will not leave the marriage.  We can all say the same thing but until OP agrees and truly sees the situation and the fact it can escalate in a heart beat like what happened last night then OP will not leave.  This is up to OP now to take the next step to save her own life.  We can't do it for her. 

[mushroomspore 3,043]

Just now, Longingfor said:

She has already experience bodily injury from him banging her arm between the door and the jam.  I think OP is not ready to fully comprehend the reality that she in. Until then OP will not leave the marriage.  We can all say the same thing but until OP agrees and truly sees the situation and the fact it can escalate in a heart beat like what happened last night then OP will not leave.  This is up to OP now to take the next step to save her own life.  We can't do it for her. 

100% agree with everything you said. I know it's hard for abuse vics to fully accept what they're going through so I'm just emphasizing what I can. Denial is a helluva drug. Easier to pretend it's not real than to confront it. But you're right; we all here have said what we can and it's up to OP now, who I hope will keep us updated.

[chi6488 93]

17 minutes ago, mushroomspore said:

OP's husband has already gotten physical with her. He tried to jam her arm between the door and the wall.

Why would you say this? You are implying that OP made this all up to look like a victim just so she can scam her own husband? Sorry but GTFO with that. She's scared and alone and asking questions because she has nowhere else to turn.

She doesn't have to play the victim she is a victim.  Slamming her arm and having a gun to her head are two different things. 

 

She can either do nothing and he has the upper hand.  Risk being hurt one more time, call the cops and he is booted from home.  She then files divorce, battered spouse and this helps her with divorce and immigration. 

 

She has to decide to either be a victim with no benefits or be a victim and has the upper hand.

 

we are all entitle to our opinions