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Not teaching your child second language

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Vent:

So I am the only rare bird around here, everyone speaks English around me, I have friends and my kid has friends and we are social butterflies.

Now, needless to say, since I do not have environment to expose her, and we speak English at home, I have not been able to teach her my birth language.

Firstly I am having troubles to find modern materials. And also probably time and well, because, you know - life.

Because I started working next day I was home after my C -section, instead of having a year long maternity leave. Worrying about language living on 4 hours of sleep was last thing on my mind. And then it just, well, went on. Working mom with plenty of obligations and extracurricular activities, laundry and dinner too, and English speaking friends, that project always was pushed into back burner.

 

While many here might understand my struggle, for some reason it seems people back at my country are such proud nationalists, that it seems they think that language is genetic, or you get infected with it like a virus, while joking, it almost seems that way, at least in the eyes of the ones who stay, mostly older generation.

The generation that left , the newer world wanderers, and did not teach them language somehow are failures. That it is bad enough to betray and leave, but I did not even have the shame to make it my priority. They just say - but you need to speak. Yap, that is just how it happens. IN the middle of my wonderful relationship with my kiddo , I am just going to start speaking and problem solved. Not! It gets so tiresome to listen to their patronizing and useless advice about teaching, you know, that pretty much consists of " you do not try hard enough and just speak". The problem is that the same outdated generation or the cranky ones who have not been beyond the borders, is the one that develops teaching materials, and there is pretty much no material that I could use, say on ipad, that would assume that that language is now a second language, and you gotta start from zero. And in reality, it is exposure and environment that teaches the most, when she is old enough to go to some camp, kids pick up from other kids completely effortlessly. They just can not accept it and get over it, that if it is not around me, I am alone against the avalanche, and they just do not get it - like at all. And yes, I am not trying too hard. Because I love my bond with her, and our bonds with our friends, and they all happen in English.

Rant over.

 


07/29/2006 – I-129 sent to Vermont

08/04/2006 - NOA1

08/28/2006 - NOA2 - approved

09/01/2006 - NVC - approved

09/07/2006 - Warsaw embassy sent packet 3 (damn post services, never received any)

09/18/2006 - packet 3 sent (Nothing fails)

09/27 - received packet 4

10/10 - medical exam

10/19 - INTERVIEW!

10/20 - received visa

11/7 - arrived in USA, POE YFK

1/19 - Married

02/23/2007 - Civil Surgeon (checked just vaccines for $ 25)

05/04/2007 - AOS package sent to Chicago

05/11/2007 - NOA1

05/15/2007 - NOA2 - ASC appointment letter about biometrics

05/24/2007 - RFE about tax forms w-2 and 1099!!!

06/05/2007 - Biometrics

21/06/2007 - NOA3 - Transfered to California

10/07/2007 - AOS approved, card production ordered!!!

19/07/2007 - Half year marriage anniversary - GC arrives!!!

07/08/2009 - Package sent (My cover letter 40 peaces of evidence)

07/14/2009 - check was cashed

07/10/2009 - NOA 1 received, GK extended for a year

07/17/2009 - received biometrics letter with my case number

08/06/2009 - scheduled biometrics appointment

11/16/2009 - approval

12/01/2009 - touched - card production ordered

2/26/2010 - got ten year card

No more departures!!!

No more typing!!!

Ne mirkli Tu neesi atstājis manas domas,

Tā, ka manas domas aizmirsa pat aizmirstību.

Mīļotais ir ienācis manā teltī,

Un mana sirds ir mulsas pārņemta.

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You might be surprised how much the young ones pick up simply from hearing it.

Mrs. T-B. spoke Spanish to Mini-Bone from birth, and he can communicate rather well in it now.

Merely relating our personal experience.


06-04-2007 = TSC stamps postal return-receipt for I-129f.

06-11-2007 = NOA1 date (unknown to me).

07-20-2007 = Phoned Immigration Officer; got WAC#; where's NOA1?

09-25-2007 = Touch (first-ever).

09-28-2007 = NOA1, 23 days after their 45-day promise to send it (grrrr).

10-20 & 11-14-2007 = Phoned ImmOffs; "still pending."

12-11-2007 = 180 days; file is "between workstations, may be early Jan."; touches 12/11 & 12/12.

12-18-2007 = Call; file is with Division 9 ofcr. (bckgrnd check); e-prompt to shake it; touch.

12-19-2007 = NOA2 by e-mail & web, dated 12-18-07 (187 days; 201 per VJ); in mail 12/24/07.

01-09-2008 = File from USCIS to NVC, 1-4-08; NVC creates file, 1/15/08; to consulate 1/16/08.

01-23-2008 = Consulate gets file; outdated Packet 4 mailed to fiancee 1/27/08; rec'd 3/3/08.

04-29-2008 = Fiancee's 4-min. consular interview, 8:30 a.m.; much evidence brought but not allowed to be presented (consul: "More proof! Second interview! Bring your fiance!").

05-05-2008 = Infuriating $12 call to non-English-speaking consulate appointment-setter.

05-06-2008 = Better $12 call to English-speaker; "joint" interview date 6/30/08 (my selection).

06-30-2008 = Stokes Interrogations w/Ecuadorian (not USC); "wait 2 weeks; we'll mail her."

07-2008 = Daily calls to DOS: "currently processing"; 8/05 = Phoned consulate, got Section Chief; wrote him.

08-07-08 = E-mail from consulate, promising to issue visa "as soon as we get her passport" (on 8/12, per DHL).

08-27-08 = Phoned consulate (they "couldn't find" our file); visa DHL'd 8/28; in hand 9/1; through POE on 10/9 with NO hassles(!).

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My experience is similar to the Family T-Bone. I was raised bilingually. Each parent spoke to us only in their language. You don’t really need materials to teach a child so young. No language is difficult for a child to learn. Babies all over the world all learn the language of their caregivers at roughly the same speed. 

 

It’s rare that children who learn so young will confuse the two languages also. Some people think it’s making them learn too much at a young age to give them input in two languages but it’s not “learning” for them like it is for an adult. If you have time to spare, read about the “critical period hypothesis”. 


 

 

 

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How you raise your child, the language you choose to speak to them are solely you and your partners choice. The family might be well meaning and truly concerned for the child, but, if the child doesn't pick it up and still is a social butterfly, no harm, no foul. Sounds like a happy well adjusted kid to me.

 

My ex wife's parents chided her because we chose to raise our kids in both the Protestant and Catholic church, then we didn't make the girls girly enough, didn't matter the kids preferred sports to ballet and tap, the wanted little princesses, oh well ...

 

Do what makes you and your kids happy, the family will come around or not, why add a stressor to your life

 


 

 

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Wouldn't Duolingo may have the language? It have good learning materials.


K-1 Visa process (I'm the USC [F])
Sent packet: August 10, 2018

USCIS Received package: August 14, 2018
Notification in text/email: August 17, 2018
Mail received from USCIS: January 22, 2019
USCIS Approved I-129F Petition: January 17, 2019

NVC Received Case: February 14, 2019

NVC Case # Assigned: February 14, 2019

US Embassy Received: Not sure but got email reply - March 11, 2019
Instructions Received via e-mail: March 19, 2019

Interview: May 7, 2019 - Approved!
Arriving to US/POE: June 12, 2019

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No, you are not alone.

 

Spanish might be able to be picked up easily, but there are languages that require more than casual introduction by a parent. Danish is one of those. Perhaps Latvian is too. 

 

Our children don't speak Danish. What they can understand, they do so at an extremely immature level relative to their ages.  I have one of the Netflix accounts set to Danish, but who would think that in the several sentences a day spoken to them in Danish that they'd learn it?  They haven't and it is easier just to communicate with them in English, especially given that they are all linguistically behind (just slow developers with all things). We gave up Danish with the oldest when we moved back to America and she couldn't communicate in either language properly. She was lightyears behind her peers at that point, why make it worse?

 

Anyways, despite me learning Danish for 7 years on and off, I'm still better at French and I'd probably be better at just about any other language given a few months.

Edited by N-o-l-a

3/2/18  E-filed N-400 under 5 year rule

3/26/18 Biometrics

7/2019-12/2019 (Yes, 16- 21 months) Estimated time to interview MSP office.

 

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On 6/2/2019 at 7:23 AM, JFH said:

 

It’s rare that children who learn so young will confuse the two languages also. Some people think it’s making them learn too much at a young age to give them input in two languages but it’s not “learning” for them like it is for an adult. If you have time to spare, read about the “critical period hypothesis”. 

 

I haven't found this is true for languages that are closely related.  A classic issue my daughter had and now my son has was/is confusing things like the following: "over here" with "her ovre". It sounds close enough that it gets muddled between the two languages to the point that they speak neither properly.


3/2/18  E-filed N-400 under 5 year rule

3/26/18 Biometrics

7/2019-12/2019 (Yes, 16- 21 months) Estimated time to interview MSP office.

 

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On 6/2/2019 at 12:33 AM, TBoneTX said:

You might be surprised how much the young ones pick up simply from hearing it.

Mrs. T-B. spoke Spanish to Mini-Bone from birth, and he can communicate rather well in it now.

Merely relating our personal experience.

 

7 hours ago, N-o-l-a said:

 

I haven't found this is true for languages that are closely related.  A classic issue my daughter had and now my son has was/is confusing things like the following: "over here" with "her ovre". It sounds close enough that it gets muddled between the two languages to the point that they speak neither properly.

I agree with both of you. I have been an educator of small children for the last ten years.....and from my experience.....children who live in a bi lingual household or even a tri lingual household speak English slower (not because the child is “slow” in learning English but because they are constantly translating) so the child in a multi lingual house actually starts speaking at age 3 or 4. In addition.....children under the age of five learn languages quickly so this is the time to expose your child to different languages.

Edited by janet3
Small screen and old person with glasses

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