Uninformed Opinions Outsiders

[C&AH 104]

Hello. Forgive me if this isn't the right forum to post this slight vent but how many people you know have given opinions to you about this process?

 

Today, I reconnected with an old friend who asked what I've been up to lately. Without going into detail,  I just told him that I'm spending time with my wife in the DR on and off until we get her home to the States.  "Good luck with that," he replied then went on to say that he has a sister in law who has been 8 years trying to get her husband to the US from Morocco and a friens with a wide in tge Philippines that has bee. 7 years with no luck. That was one of several opinions. 

 

A pastor told me it took a friend 3 years (turns out the petitioner friend is a US resident).

 

A coworker said it took her US citizen brother 3 years to get his wife from Colombia. 

 

Other coworkers are constantly asking if my wife is here yet amd can't seem to understand why not. 

 

Quite honestly, I don't want to talk to anyone about this (fellow VJers excepted because you understand). 

 

The last thing I need right now is negativity.  It is difficult enough as it is. Most people who share opinions are usually those who have no clue what they are talking about and will offer those opinions without being asked.

[florida racer 73 200]

11 minutes ago, C&AH said:

Hello. Forgive me if this isn't the right forum to post this slight vent but how many people you know have given opinions to you about this process?

 

Today, I reconnected with an old friend who asked what I've been up to lately. Without going into detail,  I just told him that I'm spending time with my wife in the DR on and off until we get her home to the States.  "Good luck with that," he replied then went on to say that he has a sister in law who has been 8 years trying to get her husband to the US from Morocco and a friens with a wide in tge Philippines that has bee. 7 years with no luck. That was one of several opinions. 

 

A pastor told me it took a friend 3 years (turns out the petitioner friend is a US resident).

 

A coworker said it took her US citizen brother 3 years to get his wife from Colombia. 

 

Other coworkers are constantly asking if my wife is here yet amd can't seem to understand why not. 

 

Quite honestly, I don't want to talk to anyone about this (fellow VJers excepted because you understand). 

 

The last thing I need right now is negativity.  It is difficult enough as it is. Most people who share opinions are usually those who have no clue what they are talking about and will offer those opinions without being asked.

Just do like I do, do not tell anyone, anything private. If they ask I just tell them to leave it alone and change the subject.

 

remember it is basic human nature for someone to have to speak , regardless if it is good or bad.

 

the easiest way to acoid this is to keep your private life...... private.

 

[Roel 7,191]

Each cares is different. If something takes longer than usual then it usually means there were some red flags in he case. 

 

If your relationships is real and there is no criminal background involved or other red flags, then the spouse visa process will take about 12 to 14 months. 

 

So don't listen to what friend of a friend said. Just focus on your case. 

[andy78 178]

People usually don't know what they are talking about and think they are experts just because they knew someone who did this or that, and think everyone else is the same. It will be of no benefit to have discussions with these people about your situation, and if it was me I would make sure they mind their own business.

[JoelThai 313]

43 minutes ago, C&AH said:

Quite honestly, I don't want to talk to anyone about this (fellow VJers excepted because you understand). 

 

The last thing I need right now is negativity.  It is difficult enough as it is. Most people who share opinions are usually those who have no clue what they are talking about and will offer those opinions without being asked.

 

I have supportive friends and family who I trust and can talk openly with about this long difficult process.  But I know others who could not handle the responsibility of giving me the moral support that I need for this decision in my life, so I know it is best for me to keep them in the dark.   I have not shut them entirely out of my life, but I do avoid this discussion.   They will eventually know after my fiancee is with me in the US, but right now there is nothing they can do to help me, so they will need to wait to know...

 

Edited July 8, 2018 by JoelThai

[Sarah&Facundo 576]

It doesn't help that people have become K1 visa "experts" from that reality TV show on TLC that has some completely incorrect information on it.

Just focus on what you are doing. We can't change the opinions of others.

[geowrian 22,335]

No 2 cases are the same, especially when different countries, time periods, etc. are considered. Comparing your case with another's does no good. Somebody else comparing theirs against yours does no good.

Edited July 8, 2018 by geowrian

[Wilma77 238]

As long as your relationship is real and you did it all legally there isn't anything to worry about.  Some take longer because of the country the person is from. Bad paperwork...no paperwork or birth certificate exct.  From what I seen your case shouldn't take long. No danger country. Just relax and enjoy each other the way you can and ignore other people cause they have no clue what they are talking about. 

[gypsyqueen 103]

Everybody has their own understanding of the immigration process. Just don't let it get to you.

[Nitas_man 3,100]

2 hours ago, C&AH said:

Hello. Forgive me if this isn't the right forum to post this slight vent but how many people you know have given opinions to you about this process?

 

Today, I reconnected with an old friend who asked what I've been up to lately. Without going into detail,  I just told him that I'm spending time with my wife in the DR on and off until we get her home to the States.  "Good luck with that," he replied then went on to say that he has a sister in law who has been 8 years trying to get her husband to the US from Morocco and a friens with a wide in tge Philippines that has bee. 7 years with no luck. That was one of several opinions. 

 

A pastor told me it took a friend 3 years (turns out the petitioner friend is a US resident).

 

A coworker said it took her US citizen brother 3 years to get his wife from Colombia. 

 

Other coworkers are constantly asking if my wife is here yet amd can't seem to understand why not. 

 

Quite honestly, I don't want to talk to anyone about this (fellow VJers excepted because you understand). 

 

The last thing I need right now is negativity.  It is difficult enough as it is. Most people who share opinions are usually those who have no clue what they are talking about and will offer those opinions without being asked.

LOL everybody goes through that.  Ignore 'em.  Every case is unique in its own way but the vast majority process through like clockwork with similar experiences and similar timelines.

We watch the silly 90 day fiancé show for the laughs and the drama, not to learn anything about the immigration process. 

[C&AH 104]

2 hours ago, Wilma77 said:

As long as your relationship is real and you did it all legally there isn't anything to worry about.  Some take longer because of the country the person is from. Bad paperwork...no paperwork or birth certificate exct.  From what I seen your case shouldn't take long. No danger country. Just relax and enjoy each other the way you can and ignore other people cause they have no clue what they are talking about. 

Yes. You are right. Dominicans traditionally do not have trouble. Thank you for your words of encouragement. 

[narakthisud 174]

OP, I'd follow what most have already said here and tell your "friends" to politely mind their own business. Many of my so-called friends thought my relationship with a Thai woman was odd and they also told me she was just in it for the money. Can you imagine how that felt? Anyway, the point is, people will have their opinions about your relationship, immigration stuff, etc. only if you give them enough information to let them form an opinion. It also helps to trust in your relationship and know that it's real. Everything else is just the "small stuff." 

[Loren Y 2,731]

I agree with everyone else on here. @narakthisud is right, I have had many of my friends tell me my Thai Fiancee is in it for the money, she is just using you for a green card, I don't see that at all, but they just assume. I just received my NOA2 on my K1 and am hoping to have her here with me in November. I just ignore the haters, and most of my friends don't bring it up much other than to ask how it is going, so I think they are coming around to the fact I don't care what they think. My fiancee in Thailand keeps listening to her friends over there how she is never going to get a visa, it is impossible, you should go work in New Zealand with me, etc. etc. I tell her not to listen to all her " Friends", I always ask when did they apply for a visa to the US. Oh, they just know a friend of a friend of a friend or some thing like that. It bothers me more than her I think, but things have gotten better now. She knows we got the I129F approved, and is extremely happy and back on track, she is studying for the interview, and improving her English some more ( I sent her to school so it isn't that bad). So tell your friends to keep their opinion to themselves, I have no problem that they think it is a bad idea, and I know they are just waiting for that point things go bad and they can hit me with the " I told you so" speech, but I try not to let it bother me. Some of them have gone thru a few wives here, so I bust on them for having 2-3 divorces on the books themselves, but I guess they don't count if you marry a US citizen. LOL

[evapaula 230]

not just ignorant unsolicited opinions (so many people have no idea what they're talking about!), but at one point during our K1 visa journey I had to make a decision to stay off the forums and boards, because what happened to people from other countries is probably not relevant for our case, and I was making myself crazy just imagining various scenarios. 

Hang in there!

[Amadia 711]

Everyone has a very different experience so don't listen to what your friend knew about another person.