Divorce after before temporary green card interview on K1 visa

[controlla 104]

3 hours ago, God dey. said:

Depressing. Will it change anything if I am able to prove that I was abused in the marriage? 

Don't play the "abused me" card unless you really were and have concrete evidence.

 

Give her some space. If it's meant to be then it'll be. If not, then you have some important decisions to make.

[Redheadguy03 505]

Definitely need a lot of evidence if you claim abuse. I'd suggest going back to where you are from if she doesn't want to be with you. As to your gc, if she doesn't want to support you anymore and hasn't done the paperwork already you're out of luck for the most part.

 

I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's how it works. 

[Roel 7,191]

Sounds like you're just desperate to get that green card. Sorry but I don't believe in the actual abuse. You'd mention it. But you first mentioned "losing your career" as an abuse and only later said something about vocal abuse, after other said that career thing is not an abuse... Usually abuse victims talk differently. 

 

Sorry but if the marriage didn't work out, you have to leave US. I'm assuming you don't have any actual evidence of vawa either. 

[Georgia16 2,858]

8 hours ago, God dey. said:

Well, alot was sacrificed for this marriage. I left my career in a transition phase for the marriage (at her incessant urging) and it would prove extremely difficult to restart back in my country. 

You left your career yes BUT you did that by yourself you weren't forced to do it you did it because you loved your fiancé and wanted to live with her right? Everyone sacrificed for echoer in a marriage but that is not abuse.

 

There is no abuse in that at all you are grasping after straws now. I can only imagine how how it must be but this is one of the big risk of getting the k-1 visa.

[JFH 12,189]

You haven't said anything about wanting to work on making a success of the marriage. If my husband said he "wasn't interested" anymore I'd be distraught and would do anything to get the marriage back on track. Have you tried counseling? Have you suggested she try some anger management therapy if she has a temper? It seems you are expecting her to file a divorce but you don't seem too desperate to stay married to her. 

 

She has been through a very stressful time too. You gave up your career but she has also been through some huge emotional transitions in her life recently. She's a career woman and I imagine she lived a very independent life before you arrived. Now she's sharing her space with someone who doesn't work, she's working for the two of you, she spent a lot money and went through a lot of stress to get you here. What do you do for her? Marriage is not a bed of roses. It takes work. A lot of hard work. 

Edited April 29, 2017 by JFH

[Ortolan 381]

It's really too bad, and sorry you're going through a rough time now, but this is life, and sometimes things just don't work out the way you plan.

Really, the best and probably most honest path for you is to re-group and go back to your own country, restart your life there. So you left a career there; a lot of people change jobs. No point in being here based on marriage if that marriage has fallen apart, is there?  Good luck to you.

[Hopeful diva 99]

14 hours ago, God dey. said:

I came into the US on a k1 Visa (fiance visa) and married my fiance (female,30 yr old Healthcare lawyer) within the allowed 90 days. Since then, we have filed successfully for an adjustment of status. I have received my Work Permit and advance parole.  But have not yet received my temporary green card. The USCIS received our case by December 2016, their website says they are currently processing cases received in February 2016. We have married 8 months. Things have fallen apart in the marriage and she says she is no longer interested. I think she will file for a divorce as she can hardly claim grounds for an annulment (except fraud, which ia false and will be terribly difficult for her to prove) I want to know how this will affect my status in the US as I have not yet received my temporary green card. I would also like to know how much time I would have in the US after the divorce is finalized and what my options are. 

Theres no option for you. Once there's a divorce and she pulls her affidavit of support. that's it! The entire application will be terminated including your EAD and AP. The only last option would be through vawa just as people mentioned above but from what you have explained, there is no abuse, so in other words you don't qualify 

[dawning 212]

6 hours ago, Roel said:

Sounds like you're just desperate to get that green card. Sorry but I don't believe in the actual abuse. You'd mention it. But you first mentioned "losing your career" as an abuse and only later said something about vocal abuse, after other said that career thing is not an abuse... Usually abuse victims talk differently. 

 

Sorry but if the marriage didn't work out, you have to leave US. I'm assuming you don't have any actual evidence of vawa either. 

I would respectfully disagree.  In my experience abuse victims are not at all all the same in terms of how much they want to disclose or how eager they are to talk about the abuse they have experienced. There isn't really a way that abuse victims "usually talk".  And it's not at all uncommon for many, especially males, to be very hesitant to disclose at all, even on an anonymous forum.  The fact that he answered the question about why he wanted to stay independent of his marriage before he answered the question about what the abuse was like does not in my mind indicate that the abuse was not real, or not serious.  None of us here knows what has happened between him and his wife.  (I am assuming OP is male, actually it could be a same-sex relationship, as the only information we had was that the wife is female.) 

 

To the OP:  Some of the posters have given you good advice about the legal limitations of your current status, and what you would need to do if you decide to pursue status based on abuse.  JFH's advice about counseling and trying to see if the marriage can be saved may also be useful, depending on how bad the abuse has been and if you think things could improve. 

Good luck!

[dawning 212]

I have to add that I am a little puzzled by all the hostility to the idea that the OP might want to stay.  I understand that s/he may not have a legal right to residency.  But to say that s/he must be desperate to stay and should just go home if the marriage isn't working seems a little harsh.  Immigration is a huge leap of faith, and many leave everything behind when they come and feel that they may have any easier time reestablishing here than going back to their home country.  It doesn't seem unreasonable to want to stay, nor does it indicate lack of good faith in the beginning, at least in my mind.

[USC1961 251]

52 minutes ago, dawning said:

I have to add that I am a little puzzled by all the hostility to the idea that the OP might want to stay.  I understand that s/he may not have a legal right to residency.  But to say that s/he must be desperate to stay and should just go home if the marriage isn't working seems a little harsh.  Immigration is a huge leap of faith, and many leave everything behind when they come and feel that they may have any easier time reestablishing here than going back to their home country.  It doesn't seem unreasonable to want to stay, nor does it indicate lack of good faith in the beginning, at least in my mind.

I don't see any hostility here, just sincere opinions.   We all realize how difficult and life changing this process is and 10 times that when something goes wrong.  Which is why people are pointing out the fact that the chances at this point don't look very good.   If the OP can stay legally, welcome and more power to the OP.  However you aren't going to find much sympathy on here if the OP plans to overstay. 

[Unlockable 7,306]

2 hours ago, dawning said:

I have to add that I am a little puzzled by all the hostility to the idea that the OP might want to stay.  I understand that s/he may not have a legal right to residency.  But to say that s/he must be desperate to stay and should just go home if the marriage isn't working seems a little harsh.  Immigration is a huge leap of faith, and many leave everything behind when they come and feel that they may have any easier time reestablishing here than going back to their home country.  It doesn't seem unreasonable to want to stay, nor does it indicate lack of good faith in the beginning, at least in my mind.

I understand the point you are trying to make but, putting the "must be desperate" part aside, what other viable option would he have but to leave the country if his wife divorces him and pulls the affidavit? He would be subjected to struggling in an uphill battle to gain some sort of legal status for who knows how long. He would likely only be able to find low paying work illegally and would constantly be worried about being detained or deported. And all this under the current presidential administration.

 

Going home to at least to regroup would seem the logical next step for the time being. Yes, he sacrificed a lot by coming here but I am sure he would be back in familiar territory with friends and family back home. 

Edited April 29, 2017 by NuestraUnion

[dawning 212]

32 minutes ago, Cruise77 said:

I don't see any hostility here, just sincere opinions.   We all realize how difficult and life changing this process is and 10 times that when something goes wrong.  Which is why people are pointing out the fact that the chances at this point don't look very good.   If the OP can stay legally, welcome and more power to the OP.  However you aren't going to find much sympathy on here if the OP plans to overstay. 

Thanks for pointing that out.  I went through and re-read, and you are right, most of the responses are fairly kind and trying to be helpful.  I think it was just a couple that said things like "You're just desperate for a GC" or "No point in being here if your marriage has fallen apart".  So that was partly my reading.  I think most of the hostility was generated by the discussion of abuse.  As I said above, I am hesitant to be judgmental about that one.

[dawning 212]

4 minutes ago, NuestraUnion said:

I understand the point you are trying to make but, putting the "must be desperate" part aside, what other viable option would he have but to leave the country if his wife divorces him and pulls the affidavit? He would be subjected to struggling in an uphill battle to gain some sort of legal status for who knows how long. He would likely only be able to find low paying work illegally and would constantly be worried about being detained or deported. And all this under the current presidential administration.

 

Going home to at least to regroup would seem the logical next step for the time being. Yes, he sacrificed a lot by coming here but I am sure he would be back in familiar territory with friends and family back home. 

That may be true practically.  I was just thinking more of the attitude towards the idea that he might want to stay.

[Tearjeaker 0]

Hello, is it possible that because of the culture differences, you are not mistaking her unhappiness with abuse.  While reading your post you mention she going to file for divorce and not get the marriage annulled because she would not be able to prove fraud. That sounds strange. Are you sure you married for love and not for the GC.  She may be able to sense it and that maybe the reason she is angry.

 

[Ketsuban 1,034]

12 hours ago, Roel said:

Sounds like you're just desperate to get that green card. Sorry but I don't believe in the actual abuse. You'd mention it. But you first mentioned "losing your career" as an abuse and only later said something about vocal abuse, after other said that career thing is not an abuse... Usually abuse victims talk differently. 

 

Sorry but if the marriage didn't work out, you have to leave US. I'm assuming you don't have any actual evidence of vawa either. 

I feel like I've said this before on VJ, possibly even to you on another thread, but attitudes like this are why abuse victims don't want to come forward.