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R&OC

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About R&OC

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Member # 261329

Profile Information

  • City
    Carlsbad
  • State
    California

Immigration Info

  • Immigration Status
    IR-1/CR-1 Visa
  • Place benefits filed at
    Chicago Lockbox
  • Local Office
    San Diego CA
  • Country
    Germany

Immigration Timeline & Photos

Recent Profile Visitors

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  1. Forget my last post, dear all! I am going through severe amnesia, it seems.
  2. Hang in there! Did you ever apply for your BBG to maintain the German citizenship?
  3. Isn't there a USCIS office in Frankfurt? Would they be able to help?
  4. So, if I can choose the service center, which one would you advise on? You mentioned Fairfax but what about Washington DC? Or any other that is advisable? I would be very happy not to choose San Diego as they are notoriously backlogged.
  5. We are planning to apply this year via Germany as well. Quick question, though... I assumed that all mailed applications are being processed through Chicago? Why do you both have Albuquerque and Seattle? We lived in San Diego before - does that mean San Diego is our point of contact? Or is it a random decision taken by Chicago based on how much work each field office has currently on their desk? San Diego is notoriously busy being right at the border to Mexico. And hashtag me - thank you for giving us updates. It helps a lot!
  6. PirateLiker - your posts are all heading into the same direction. You are struggling with making a commitment. Both options are making her an illegal immigrant. What you are considering is unethical und simply beyond fair to her. You would make her totally dependent on you in financial terms and in every other way as well. Consider this: She had a job in the Ukraine and a place she called home. You both went through the K1 process and she made all the structural concessions needed to make this relationship work or at least give it a chance. She came over. She is trying to adjust to your way of handling the relationship. Divorce can happen. But a happy marriage could happen as well. Let me tell you this: I am a German citizen and married a USC in California. If things should ever go wrong, I screwed myself as I am earning just as much as he does but have no financial obligations such as child support or alimony to an ex-spouse. I used to be a single mom and any potential alimony could financially "destroy" me and my kids or seriously impact any financial freedom we have. However, I love him. He loves me. We are both committed to make this relationship work. If I would continue to think about everything that could or could not go wrong, where would we end up? And as I had mentioned before, even him and I struggled early on in our marriage. Despite multiple years in the US before, I struggled initially to adjust but thankfully, I have a husband who is very understanding and had my back. In my case, and because of my husbands support in every way, a divorce would mean that I would support him financially through alimony in a worst case scenario. And guess what, that is okay for me. Your fiancee sounds like she has her stuff together. See it from a different perspective perhaps: if you support her, and she can kickstart a professional future in the US - you both win. She may be your best "investment" you ever had. One of my friends had such a hard working and financially sound wife that upon their divorce, she paid out so much of their mutual savings that he had a nice cushion to fall back on. And yes, both of them are still friends and on talking term. You can't control every outcome of a relationship but at some point just be willing to make that commitment to each other and simply have trust. If you can't, then let her go back home and be fair to her. Pay for her expenses she had to upfront. Give her enough to restart her life back home. But please don't let her hang dry.
  7. Your kids are US-Citizens and you are right now in status because of your AOS. If, for some reason, you are abandoning the AOS - you will be out of status with all its consequences. I am not a lawyer but from what I am reading in the news with illegal immigrants being deported back to their home countries and the kids staying behind in the US plus you wouldn't be able to visit them at all... Having that risk in the back of my mind, I would think rationally and seek marriage counselling as well as pursuing the AOS interview on the best terms possible. Keep your risk in mind! Don't let your heart speak and stay rational.
  8. Quick question, one or the other answers here mentioned that a possible N-400 application would likely be denied based on the selective service issue. However, the lengthy time out of the country in 2014 should not be an issue, correct? Depending on when he applies for citizenship either the past 36 months or 60 months will be taken into consideration (having said that, he would have to wait until those 60 months between his absence and N-400 application are over)? What is the rule of thumb here for GC holders to be outside the country?
  9. I don't see any grounds for VAWA either. Unless there was emotional abuse or physical one but the current posts do not suggest that. He just seems to have a really **** character.
  10. Sorry this all happened to you. First of all, and take my advice or leave it - don't focus on the things that you have no control over anyway. As for your mail - yes, this is unfortunate but give up the fight. Secondly, if I were you - I would focus on your divorce. For one, he may have to cover your lawyers expenses because you have no assets. I have a few friends that earn more or were the sole breadwinners and covered their spouses lawyer fees. Thirdly, a proper divorce is necessary as you want to make sure your financial obligations (such as hospital bill, or any other bill in your name) will not cause a negative impact for you in the future. And from my perspective, the bill should be covered by him if you did not earn any income. All I am trying to say is, try to get a divorce lawyer (hopefully paid by your spouse) and ask for a minimum of spousal support (aka financial help to restart your life back in Europe). Based on the short period of time your marriage lasted, I wouldn't expect too much but perhaps some sort of help with the return flight and starting your life over again.
  11. I know the GC concern is a valid one BUT what if... she is simply depressed. She is simply not seeing her life pan out the way she had dreamed it to be with you? A considerable amount of marriages fight and debate especially during their first year. Heck, in my first marriage to the same citizen/nationality, we even fought without all the adjustment, intercultural differences etc. If you think she is a good person, then try marriage counselling. She may just miss "connection". You have your children, you have an ex-spouse you get along with... she may have no one when you guys are at odds with each other. I lived in the States before and have a considerable amount of friends here but even I felt really lonely at times. And I still have the "pleasure" to work remotely and feel connected through that. I also have a car (which I barely use because of my work)... but I do miss being with friends and family in the same time zone. You know her best. She may just express how desperate she is with no second agenda. She may just want your attention and connection but not leaving you. You haven't been married for a long time but you probably have a good sense for who she is as a person. Oh and one more thing, we are a blended family as well. And yes, it is really hard at times. My husbands kids are different than mine. And mine are different from his in character and upbringing. Sometimes, we both feel we need to distance ourselves from the other children because of the initial expectations we had. I honestly thought that by being a good friend, they would embrace me and include me. However, I know now that they are so busy with their own lifes that I am being ignored. I don't exist - neither in a positive nor negative sense. My role in their eyes is to keep their Dad happy. And that's okay! I had to lower my expectations. I am part of the family in terms of responsibility but not necessarily in terms of an emotional connection. Taking to my own parents who are both in blended families today, both mentioned to me that it took about 4-5 years to feel like a true family. What I am trying to say, don't jump to assumptions. Try to see how she feels - and as a mother of two young children I know that sometimes people need love most when we deserve it the least. Just throwing it in there. Hope you guys manage to work things out!
  12. Well, I recall the earlier discussion. You tried. Don't blame yourself BUT despite what others have said - she is returning to her home country with NOTHING. She has to start from scratch and I would find it rather unfair and unjust, if she had to bear the brunt of it. Good jobs are not that easy to come by and its a kind gesture to help her out for two months. Her wages are probably considerably lower than the average US wages and I found find it unfair if she had to fend for herself all alone. Just imagine everyone how you would feel if you'd be in her position? If you guys were already married, you would both have a responsibility for each other as well. In good days and in bad times. If this is to be the break-up and she came all the way to give it a try despite all your issues before - I honestly believe you both have a responsibility to make this as easy as possible for each other. And that means that there has to be some sort of a package for her to get back on her feet. If you feel she is milking you, then (and only then in my opinion) would I cut financial ties. Thats what I would do if I were you.
  13. Yes, we are in the States right now. Thanks for clarifying!
  14. I think you may want to consider turning your BBG in now. I was told that the current processing time is 9 months. And I do believe you have good chances of getting it. It would be a shame if you had to give it up. Check out the Yahoo Group "Zwei Pässe". They have tons of advice and successful applications. Just fill one out and gather the necessary evidence.
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