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dawning

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About dawning

  • Rank
    Senior Member
  • Member # 169988

Profile Information

  • City
    Bradley, CA
  • State
    California

Immigration Info

  • Immigration Status
    IR-1/CR-1 Visa
  • Place benefits filed at
    National Benefits Center
  • Local Office
    San Jose CA
  • Country
    Venezuela

Immigration Timeline & Photos

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  1. dawning

    K1 visa refused

    Actually, in many parts of the world it is within the realm of "normal" for young women to marry significantly older men WHEN the older men have financial resources that make them more than averagely desirable. Not so common for a young attractive woman to marry a broke old man. I have noticed this in my husband's home country of Venezuela, for example, and I am guessing the Philippines is similar. At the same time it is still considered suspicious and not genuine when a younger man is seemingly attracted to an older woman. It seems to me that it has to do with men's historical value being as financial providers, and women's historical value being attractiveness and reproductive potential. In the US and other western countries, as women have become more financially independent, our cultural distaste for marriages with a big age difference has increased, as evidenced by snide remarks about trophy wives. But I would say that the older male/younger female is still consider a viable option in many parts of the world, and the opposite is often likewise considered highly suspicious. It DOES seem a little inconsistent though, that a young Filipina may be considered normal and genuine for valuing an older American man in part for the financial stability and opportunities he can provide her, and a young Moroccan man may be considered fraudulent and deceitful for valuing the same in an older American woman. But both are consistent with local cultural norms. And those norms are also influenced by biological possibilities for children, and by ideas about female "purity" (divorced women or those already having children maybe traditionally not desirable in some cultures, while this tends not to affect men's desirability). So while imperfect, the overall biases do make sense. That doesn't mean that there can't be a genuine relationship between two people not within cultural norms. But that they would have more scrutiny is normal.
  2. Thanks everyone for trying to help. I guess our situation is just a little unique due to Venezuela's financial instability. Would it be helpful to post in the regional forum maybe?
  3. Thank you! I will keep digging. I was hoping maybe someone else in a similar situation might say what they had done. I did see an old thread from some who had been paying child support directly to an ex here in the US and couldn't get her to write a letter. But at least he had checks and records of payments to her... In this case we don't have anything with the mom or daughter's name... But I think the mom would be willing to write something; they are on better terms now than in the past.
  4. Thank you, yes that is my understanding too. I have searched some, and will continue to do so. Venezuela is just a little more difficult to send money to than other countries, so I was curious what others might have done to document payments made in less direct ways. Would a letter from the mother be enough?
  5. Thank you for your answer. I do know that he is the one that will actually apply; I am just helping him out by researching the requirements ahead of any actually application. For the citizenship application there is something under good moral character that talks about the not refusing to support a dependent, and it seems I have read that when actually applying it asks for evidence of support payments if you list children that don't live with you. Yes, I have wondered about residency for his daughter as well... Not sure we would do that in any case, as she lives with her mother and half sister and is close to them, and I don't know if she wants to come to the US. Although the way Venezuela is going leaving it can be very appealing for almost anyone.
  6. It might be illegal in Venezuela... It is allowing a lot of people to eat or pay the bills though. It does look like Moneygram does send to Venezuela, at a lower exchange rate... Seems like maybe I have heard there is a hefty tax though, so maybe that's why Venezuelans are doing it with smaller businesses? I am used to my husband arranging it all.
  7. I guess in a way it could sound like that. As far as I can see this kind of arrangement is almost universal among Venezuelan ex-pats, because of the craziness with the Venezuela currency and inflation. Some years ago the Venezuelan government declared the currency at an official fixed value, and the black market was always somewhat more than that. At first it was only around 50% more, but after Chavez died and things got more and more difficult financially in Venezuela (and more and more people were selling everything and buying foreign currency to leave), the black market rate exploded, and then it was hundreds or thousands of times more than the official exchange rate. I think the government has know done away with currency control (not sure on that) but at this point the currency is so volatile and the inflation so extreme that I don't even know if places like Moneygram will deal in Bolivares. In any case, there are people who have this as their business: they have bank accounts in both countries, and contacts with people who to buy or sell bolivares. They earn a percentage for their service. I'm not sure if it is legal in Venezuela at this point (it wasn't in the past) but it IS keeping a lot of Venezuelans' heads above water as they subsist on money sent home by family overseas.
  8. Good evening VJ community, I am looking at the requirements for filing for citizenship for my husband. He has an almost 15 year old daughter from a previous relationship who lives with her mother in his home country (Venezuela). While she doesn't have his last name and he isn't on her birth certificate due to a conflict-prone relationship with her mom when she was small, everyone knows that he is her father and they are currently in fairly regular contact. We have included her information on every immigration form we have filed. He has sent money on a regular basis to her mother for her support pretty much since he has been here (4+ years) and has also taken clothing items and other necessities for her when he has visited Venezuela, or more recently sent them back with another family member who was visiting the US. Because of the currency problems that Venezuela has had for many years, he isn't able to send money through regular channels like Moneygram, rather it is done through a third party arrangement: We deposit checks into that person's US bank account, and they deposit Bolivares into the accounts of the people in Venezuela to whom we are sending money. Does anyone have any ideas of how to demonstrate this payment of support? I think the mom would be willing to write a letter saying that she has been receiving the payments, but would that be enough? Perhaps the woman with the US bank account could also write something explaining that she has been facilitating those payments for us. All the checks we have are written to her (the money transfer woman) not the mother or the daughter. I suppose he might also have Whatsapp messages talking about money and other things he has sent, but I don't know how useful those would be?
  9. Some advice often shared on here that applies to your situation: Keep your important documents, including immigration documents, evidence of your good faith marriage, and, if necessary, evidence of his mistreatment of you, in a safe location he does not have access to. A safe deposit at a bank could be one example. While ROC with a divorce is definitely possible, some people on here have struggled with providing enough evidence after having divorced an abusive spouse who kept or destroyed evidence. I understand that you want to work on your marriage, and no one here can tell you whether or not it is worthwhile. But it could be wise to have a stash of evidence in case things don't work out, as he could get worse in his treatment of you. Racist and derogatory language is already pretty bad. Good luck! Don't give up on your dreams. If he doesn't want to come along for the great life you have planned for yourself then it's his loss, not yours.
  10. dawning

    Is CRBA the first step?

    Just to be clear, the I-130 is if you and the children want to go to live in the US. It is a petition for an immigrant visa since they are not now citizens. If you are just wanting to live in the Philippines and have citizenship for the kids, there isn't really a way to do that, at least not that I know of. But they are eligible for citizenship if the move to the US.
  11. Sounds like a difficult situation. It could be she has fraudulent intent, in which case advice to pull the I-864 and send her home would be reasonable; but it could also be that she is just homesick and struggling with life here not being what she expected. If not having children is a deal-breaker for her, perhaps you should divorce and help her get back to her country? Maybe some kind of counseling or mediation could help the two of you to be clearer about what each wants and what each is willing to do and not willing to do. Perhaps going back to the Philippines for a visit could help her to get clear in her own mind what she wants?
  12. dawning

    English and Spanish for our 2 year old daughter

    Actually a some experts recommend one parent, one language, to force the child to compartmentalize and be able to express themselves, and not just understand, in both languages. So while it's great for you to learn Spanish for a lot of reasons, including speaking to your in-laws, I don't think you should feel bad about using English with your daughter.
  13. Thank you, I thought I remembered that language but wasn't sure. I would say if she were a USC, and lived originally in the same city as her husband, their marriage would be borderline abusive. But given that she immigrated and is entirely dependent on the husband and his family for support in the absence of AOS that would allow her to work, I would say that it is clearly abusive. To the OP: I think it is clear that you DO qualify for VAWA, although the diminished conditions you have been living in since marriage may make showing a bona fide relationship difficult. Someone else also mentioned a U Visa, which is for witnesses to crimes, due to the child pornography you have seen him possess. You could also scrape up money to go home, which would be the easiest legally. You have a lot of options to choose from. Please don't give up.
  14. She wrote " He's told me if I speak to his family about anything he has done, he'll just throw me out and I'll end up getting deported. " Threatening a spouse is typically understood as abusive behavior. She also writes about him being angry and giving her a hard time if she sees or calls people outside of the house, which fits with a pattern of controlling/abusive behavior. I can't remember if there is also some specific language in the VAWA descriptions about using a victim's immigration status to threaten and control?
  15. dawning

    Need guidance on work visa for my parent's business

    Actually I know some seniors with addiction issues. It's a common belief that drugs are something that only the modern degenerate youth do, but that's not at all true across the board in my experience. Age stereotyping is no more accurate than racial, gender or other forms of stereotyping.
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