Some K1 relationships sound crazy

[Zee Bee 61]

If the K1 does not seem to be the right visa for you don't dump that on the rest of us. You make a lot of assumptions about people that file the K1 that are not true and, quite frankly, offensive.

There are a multitude of reasons why people go for one visa over another.

Just to give you an example: right now, a K-1 through Ghana takes about a year vs the CR1/IR1 which can take up to 2 years. Which do you think people would prefer??????????

By the way, the process is long and expensive regardless of whether its a K1 or CR1. That's what happens when someone decides to form a relationship with someone in another country. Its not my problem if someone else cannot afford to go see their SO or afford the whole process.

This process can ruin any relationship. There are equally horrific stories from people who came on a fiance AND spousal visa.

Bringing a spouse over vs a fiance/fiancee does not make the relationship more legitimate. Many people on here are together for a year or more and have multiple trips before and during the K1 process.

[steve52845 18]

The K1 is not designed for people to "get to know" each other. If you dont know if you are ready to spend the rest of your life with this person, please do us all a favor and don't do the K1. It would definitely shorten the number of applications and would speed up the process for those of us who are. There is a tourist Visa for those that arent sure. You can learn alot about someone in 90 days and it could save time and money by bringing out potential problems before jumping into the K1 visa process. My best advice, for this or anyone considering getting married, if you arent 100% sure, DONT Do it! Just my 2 cents.

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

The K1 is not designed for people to "get to know" each other. If you dont know if you are ready to spend the rest of your life with this person, please do us all a favor and don't do the K1. It would definitely shorten the number of applications and would speed up the process for those of us who are. There is a tourist Visa for those that arent sure. You can learn alot about someone in 90 days and it could save time and money by bringing out potential problems before jumping into the K1 visa process. My best advice, for this or anyone considering getting married, if you arent 100% sure, DONT Do it! Just my 2 cents.

+1

A K-1 should be done when you are sure that you are ready to be with this person long-term. There's no grace period. If you really want to live with a person before deciding to get married, nothing is stopping you. You just won't be able to do iyt in the US. You can live in their home country. Then when you feel ready, apply for the visa.

[Eve&Josh 5]

A visa to let people live together?

Don't they have that in Australia? I'm not 100% sure, so someone from Australia please correct me if needed :-)

US is just so set on marriage, that they don't recognize a steady, committed relationship without having to tie the knot - which I personally haven't even wanted, but am doing it because that is the only (or at least the easiest) way for us to be together and build a life in the US.

[Brownie07 7]

OP -- game well played! A post of randomess and assumptions to get the "natives" fired up. Happy Monday folks.

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

they foreigner only has to stay with his/her spouse 5 years and then is free. that is what should be extended to cut fraud. So, many 20 year old women will marry old men to get a visa.

I honestly think the K1 visa process and immigration could ruin a relationship, it puts way too much pressure on the foreign spouse to immediately give up everything in their life and move to another country after barely knowing someone. Now they are there with nothing to go back to, or onerous process of rebuilding employment/life, and plane tickets are expensive and travel can disrupt the costly and time consuming permanent residency process. Seems like a good way to rush a nascent relationship and spoil it with one spouse feeling like they have no power and are essentially a prisoner in a foreign country. It encourages rushing into marriage as well which is never good, I imagine a lot of these relationships are still in the infatuation stage.

There are people posting about getting the physical meeting out of the way so they can file for K1, what?! That is koo koo cocoapuffs! Hell at least the marriage of convenience and fraud cases both people know what they are diving into so at least no one is going to get hurt.

The one scenario where it does make sense is when two people want to try furthering a relationship, but the foreign partners country is too dangerous or unstable for it to be an option. But even then the pressure to get married is suffocating.

I don't have a good answer, and I have nothing against any couples going through the process, I just think its not a good process for building a marriage and relationship. Perhaps the marriage time limit should be extended or the other demands on the couple removed.

[Krikit 1,163]

they foreigner only has to stay with his/her spouse 5 years and then is free. that is what should be extended to cut fraud. So, many 20 year old women will marry old men to get a visa.

And the ante is upped.

Just as an fyi, there is not a 5 year minimum on the beneficiary's part.

[nickbits 43]

I don't understand how someone can be engaged to when "barely knowing someone". Being engaged is not the initial phase of a relationship.

Edited June 27, 2011 by nickbits

[moroccanwife 11]

I couldn't agree more with so many comments on here. I especially like the comment about relationships here based on lust. And so many of you said it...why on earth would you commit to be engaged to someone without going there and meeting them first. I also agree that the length of time a couple is required to be together should be much longer. There are so many fraud cases out there. In my case, I talked with my husband online for almost a year before I went to visit him. There were no talks of marriage or a visa. When I was there with him for almost a month, that's when talks of marriage began. But we both knew it would be a while longer before we were sure of that. I went again that following year and met his family...spending that time with him...what made me decide to do the K1 visa was not "could I live with this man for all my life?"...it was "could i live without him all my life?" I couldn't have made a better decision. The entire process took a long time...but it was time we both needed to realize what it means to be in love and appreciate our time together.

[b & q 35]

I have no idea what you hope to gain from this post. I don't see why you just couldn't keep those comments to yourself.

True, I see some relationships on this board that I think are a bit ridiculous but those are few and far between.

Please, sir, tell me about your highly successful relationships that let you look down upon us K-1 filers with your long nose of yours

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Because its the only way for the couple to even physically be together in the USA, if the foreign partner is not from a visa waiver country. Now you're locked in, thats never good.

I think some are totally misreading me, I think there should be a pre K1 visa of sorts that would let people live together and get to know each other and decide if they want to live in the USA before having a deadline facing them.

Thats the damn problem that for some countries the K1 or IR1 is the only way you will ever set foot in the USA.

Oh and even if both people are from visa waiver countries, you still face the possible refusal at POE is either of you slips up and mentions you are visiting a boy/girlfriend. Its like the governments expect you to decide whether you're going to commit for life without ever living together even, thats silly.

Why does a couple need to develop their relationship in the US? Is it not possible to develop a relationship in any country of the world? What about all those couples who file for CR1 and IR1 visa in countries that aren't VWP countries? How did they manage to develop a relationship and ultimately get married? What's the difference between making only one trip and then filing a K1 petition and making only one trip, getting married on that same trip, and then filing for a CR1 petition? Isn't the idea supposed to be that you've developed a solid relationship before sending the petition, regardless of what country the relationship was developed in? Isn't it the CO's job to make sure this is the case?

There's a valid reason why some people will never set foot in the USA without first getting either a K1 or CR1/IR1 visa - it's called visa fraud.

[Alianza Terps 12]

Personally, I believe the whole immigration process is rather flawed - not just K1. Many people are denied visas for ridiculous reasons and other people are given visas who probably should never get one. Many people in other countries are put down and made to feel inferior due our governments policies. Furthermore, many people who are considered illegal often come into the country through a legal process - however, laws are strict and complicated and many times these people don't realize the consequences of overstaying their visa or I-94.

I do not enjoy a government official looking through my private photos and conversations to determine whether I'm in a legit relationship. It's an invasion of privacy. But it's the system and process that we currently have so I will do what I need to do if that is how I can be with the man I love.

Everyone has their own path to love. We all hope that being with the people we love will bring more happiness into our lives. Our goal should be to help as many people obtain this happiness. Happy people are better people, thus making their community, our country and our world a slightly better place.

There is really no need for judgement or bitterness.

[emh836 2]

i agree with you yankeelimer, oh and i've been in the US for 7 months on vwp's while the process is going through for reasons you mentioned

Edited June 27, 2011 by emh836

[Eric-Pris 1,602]

I couldn't agree more with so many comments on here. I especially like the comment about relationships here based on lust. And so many of you said it...why on earth would you commit to be engaged to someone without going there and meeting them first. I also agree that the length of time a couple is required to be together should be much longer. There are so many fraud cases out there. In my case, I talked with my husband online for almost a year before I went to visit him. There were no talks of marriage or a visa. When I was there with him for almost a month, that's when talks of marriage began.

It's ironic that you criticize people for rushing into marriage without meeting and then admit that you within "almost a month" of meeting your online boyfriend, you were talking about marriage and visas. You don't think meeting somebody for the first time and then talking marriage within a month is fast? (I guess you are counting the year that you "dated" online.)

With that said, people who meet their fiance online, and are then ready for marriage within a few months, and only meet in person to satisfy the K-1 requirements are completely nuts. I made about 10 trips over 19 months since we met before I knew that I wanted to propose.

I have no idea what you hope to gain from this post. I don't see why you just couldn't keep those comments to yourself.

True, I see some relationships on this board that I think are a bit ridiculous but those are few and far between.

Please, sir, tell me about your highly successful relationships that let you look down upon us K-1 filers with your long nose of yours

I don't think he was judging K-1 filers, he is complaining about the K-1 process.

[HannahP 119]

I couldn't agree more with so many comments on here. I especially like the comment about relationships here based on lust. And so many of you said it...why on earth would you commit to be engaged to someone without going there and meeting them first. I also agree that the length of time a couple is required to be together should be much longer. There are so many fraud cases out there. In my case, I talked with my husband online for almost a year before I went to visit him. There were no talks of marriage or a visa. When I was there with him for almost a month, that's when talks of marriage began. But we both knew it would be a while longer before we were sure of that. I went again that following year and met his family...spending that time with him...what made me decide to do the K1 visa was not "could I live with this man for all my life?"...it was "could i live without him all my life?" I couldn't have made a better decision. The entire process took a long time...but it was time we both needed to realize what it means to be in love and appreciate our time together.

My husband and I lived for nearly three years together in the US (on a student visa) and had long-distance dated, with him coming to see me every nine weeks or so, for two years before that before we decided to get engaged. *I* think online dating for two years and then only knowing the guy in person for a month and a little bit more before getting engaged is absolutely rushing it.

My relationship process was better than your relationship process. So there!

Edited June 27, 2011 by HannahP