Some K1 relationships sound crazy

[yankeelimer 1]

I honestly think the K1 visa process and immigration could ruin a relationship, it puts way too much pressure on the foreign spouse to immediately give up everything in their life and move to another country after barely knowing someone. Now they are there with nothing to go back to, or onerous process of rebuilding employment/life, and plane tickets are expensive and travel can disrupt the costly and time consuming permanent residency process. Seems like a good way to rush a nascent relationship and spoil it with one spouse feeling like they have no power and are essentially a prisoner in a foreign country. It encourages rushing into marriage as well which is never good, I imagine a lot of these relationships are still in the infatuation stage.

There are people posting about getting the physical meeting out of the way so they can file for K1, what?! That is koo koo cocoapuffs! Hell at least the marriage of convenience and fraud cases both people know what they are diving into so at least no one is going to get hurt.

The one scenario where it does make sense is when two people want to try furthering a relationship, but the foreign partners country is too dangerous or unstable for it to be an option. But even then the pressure to get married is suffocating.

I don't have a good answer, and I have nothing against any couples going through the process, I just think its not a good process for building a marriage and relationship. Perhaps the marriage time limit should be extended or the other demands on the couple removed.

[DiZZyLoX 114]

[Max1gk 68]

Then avoid going for it,with this attitude it surely would ruin yours. Cheers

Edited June 27, 2011 by Max1gk

[DiZZyLoX 114]

What's even crazier is they don't even land the plane. They make you parachute it out at POE. I mean, seriously, you gotta have balls of STEEL to do a K1!!!!

This is such a silly post.

Edited June 27, 2011 by DiZZyLoX

[AYMAN_RINA 92]

[JessNZ 3]

Maybe the opposite is true - yes it's a very stressful process, but going through all this to be together shows how much we love each other doesn't it?

[Krikit 1,163]

How does the K-1 visa process encourage rushing into marriage? Only the people involved are capable of that.

[yankeelimer 1]

How does the K-1 visa process encourage rushing into marriage? Only the people involved are capable of that.

Because its the only way for the couple to even physically be together in the USA, if the foreign partner is not from a visa waiver country. Now you're locked in, thats never good.

I think some are totally misreading me, I think there should be a pre K1 visa of sorts that would let people live together and get to know each other and decide if they want to live in the USA before having a deadline facing them.

Thats the damn problem that for some countries the K1 or IR1 is the only way you will ever set foot in the USA.

Oh and even if both people are from visa waiver countries, you still face the possible refusal at POE is either of you slips up and mentions you are visiting a boy/girlfriend. Its like the governments expect you to decide whether you're going to commit for life without ever living together even, thats silly.

Edited June 27, 2011 by yankeelimer

[Krikit 1,163]

A visa to let people live together?

[yankeelimer 1]

A visa to let people live together?

Pending engagement or marriage within a year, sure why not. If the relationship just doesn't work out no harm no foul, the foreign partner can return home and there will be no lasting consequences.

Do you know that a USA citizen can only file TWO K1 visa petitions in their lifetime? More pressure.

And I have seen it said if you have ever backed out of a K1 as a foreign partner and returned to your home country without getting married you'll catch hell from the embassy trying to do another. More pressure.

International relationships have WAY more ###### against them from the very beginning compared to a marriage between two nationals, and no one would expect a good outcome putting two same nationals under those kind of restraints. Why expect it to be different for international?

[Krikit 1,163]

Do you know that a USA citizen can only file TWO K1 visa petitions in their lifetime? More pressure.

^^You have been misinformed.

Your argument is based on the premise that the K-1 encourages leaping before you look. If someone is bent on immediate gratification as opposed to thinking through a scenario prior to making a life-altering decision, ain't no safeguards in the world going to stop 'em.

[belinda63 2,981]

Unlike a typical US relationship where the people meet and might move in together within a matter of weeks and the relationship is built on lust/physical attraction (usually) an international relationship is built more on friendship and common interest. It's hard to have lust when you are separated by thousands of miles.

Given the length of time it takes for the entire process (6+months) this is plenty of time for the persons to get to know each other and determine if they are compatible or not, unlike the US relationship which may begin, burn, and end within this same time.

I am not going to say the physical aspect is not important but it is only a small part of the total relationship. Sure I took him for a test drive prior to making the final leap but the 90 days in the US with a K-1 visa is enough time to do this if you didn't have the chance before.

As to giving up your life in the other country this is an aspect you should keep in mind. My now hubby took a leave of absence from his work rather than quitting and he had family he could have moved back in with if things fell through.

I'm not going to say the K-1 is perfect but I don't think your idea is a better one.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

Pending engagement or marriage within a year, sure why not. If the relationship just doesn't work out no harm no foul,

the foreign partner can return home and there will be no lasting consequences.

Do you know that a USA citizen can only file TWO K1 visa petitions in their lifetime? More pressure.

And I have seen it said if you have ever backed out of a K1 as a foreign partner and returned to your home country without getting married you'll catch hell from the embassy trying to do another. More pressure.

International relationships have WAY more ###### against them from the very beginning compared to a marriage between two nationals, and no one would expect a good outcome putting two same nationals under those kind of restraints. Why expect it to be different for international?

That would only be good if the foreign partner WOULD return home, 98% would choose not to, so we the US would have a much bigger illegal immigration problem. So how would you propose to enforce the return used product back to their original home.

So, should the foreign partner get some type of cash payout for leaving everything behind for a test run. Who should be responsible for the damage done since they the visa is only for a trail run of living togather?

[knt 4]

^^You have been misinformed.

Your argument is based on the premise that the K-1 encourages leaping before you look. If someone is bent on immediate gratification as opposed to thinking through a scenario prior to making a life-altering decision, ain't no safeguards in the world going to stop 'em.

Totally agree!! My fiance and I LIVED together in his home country for a few years (where I was working) before I returned home to the States for work. And I think a lot of people are in a similar boat with me. Maybe the seemingly crazier stories get more attention or you remember them more, but many of us going through the k-1 process have spent a lot of time with our significant other and aren't just jumping into something we haven't thought about. I understand that there are some crazy stories or people rushing to meet for the first time just to file, but a lot of us have had significant relationships before filing.

[KittyPollitt 284]

Pending engagement or marriage within a year, sure why not. If the relationship just doesn't work out no harm no foul, the foreign partner can return home and there will be no lasting consequences.

Do you know that a USA citizen can only file TWO K1 visa petitions in their lifetime? More pressure.

And I have seen it said if you have ever backed out of a K1 as a foreign partner and returned to your home country without getting married you'll catch hell from the embassy trying to do another. More pressure.

International relationships have WAY more ###### against them from the very beginning compared to a marriage between two nationals, and no one would expect a good outcome putting two same nationals under those kind of restraints. Why expect it to be different for international?

Are you pulling these "facts" from your twisted landscape of an imagination, or is someone feeding spoonfuls of bullshit to you?

Don't put all of us in your little box, my friend. Just because you've seen a few sad cases doesn't mean the process is flawed.