Some K1 relationships sound crazy

[TBoneTX 43,058]

I personally oppose the idea of cosponsors for the reasons mentioned, and because such financially thin couples too often seem to be unable to afford AOS. However, requiring a minimum period of "living together" would not accommodate cultures in which there are arranged marriages, or couples in even first-world countries who (for example) are extremely religious or have other reasons (such as family disapproval) for not living together first.

That having been said... the OP seems to think that being thoroughly and repeatedly hosed, and being treated like a criminal, and being ordered around like a dog, by one's Friendly Neighborhood ####### (Guayaquil) Consulate is a lark, a whim, a skip through the park flinging daisies, whee man.

[Justin and Kate 2]

Dear friend....I read whole comments which were provoked by your crazy point of view....

Just tell me 1 thing! Why did you post it here? For what? Even don't give us your name!!! People spend hours here to encourage each other,support and help to each other...if you don't know how to waste your free time...idk...go do something usefull...listen to news or read a book instead of posting here such ideas. First of all, before stating something like creating super pre-k1 or other b...t like that ... find good feed back for your statements...

I hope I have followers

[Justin and Kate 2]

I honestly think the K1 visa process and immigration could ruin a relationship, it puts way too much pressure on the foreign spouse to immediately give up everything in their life and move to another country after barely knowing someone. Now they are there with nothing to go back to, or onerous process of rebuilding employment/life, and plane tickets are expensive and travel can disrupt the costly and time consuming permanent residency process. Seems like a good way to rush a nascent relationship and spoil it with one spouse feeling like they have no power and are essentially a prisoner in a foreign country. It encourages rushing into marriage as well which is never good, I imagine a lot of these relationships are still in the infatuation stage.

There are people posting about getting the physical meeting out of the way so they can file for K1, what?! That is koo koo cocoapuffs! Hell at least the marriage of convenience and fraud cases both people know what they are diving into so at least no one is going to get hurt.

The one scenario where it does make sense is when two people want to try furthering a relationship, but the foreign partners country is too dangerous or unstable for it to be an option. But even then the pressure to get married is suffocating.

I don't have a good answer, and I have nothing against any couples going through the process, I just think its not a good process for building a marriage and relationship. Perhaps the marriage time limit should be extended or the other demands on the couple removed.

Dear friend....I read whole comments which were provoked by your crazy point of view....

Just tell me 1 thing! Why did you post it here? For what? People spend hours here to encourage each other,support and help to each other...if you don't know how to waste your free time...idk...go do something usefull...listen to news or read a book instead of posting here such ideas. First of all, before stating something like creating super pre-k1 or other b...t like that ... find good feed back for your statements...

I hope I have followers

[Kiwifruit 0]

If we take the view that being the beneficiary puts you in the deep end, and it probably does for at least the first six months to one year, then you either sink or swim.

I sure hope funny foreign fruit floats!

... that's why I am taking swimming lessons

Edited June 28, 2011 by Kiwifruit

[JessNZ 3]

If we take the view that being the beneficiary puts you in the deep end, and it probably does for at least the first six months to one year, then you either sink or swim.

I sure hope funny foreign fruit floats!

... that's why I am taking swimming lessons

[Andie 147]

Totally agree!! My fiance and I LIVED together in his home country for a few years (where I was working) before I returned home to the States for work. And I think a lot of people are in a similar boat with me. Maybe the seemingly crazier stories get more attention or you remember them more, but many of us going through the k-1 process have spent a lot of time with our significant other and aren't just jumping into something we haven't thought about. I understand that there are some crazy stories or people rushing to meet for the first time just to file, but a lot of us have had significant relationships before filing.

So how would that have worked for you if you hadn't been able to spend that time in your fiance's country

[Max1gk 68]

the non-USC cannot visit after the visa has been applied for, even in VWP countries.

Totally NOT true. Many travelled and do travel under the VWP while the application is pending..me included and didn't have a single problem. Let's not mislead other readers with wrong informations

[KittyPollitt 284]

If I made the rules.... no co-sponsors, $50k/yr minimum for a family of two, requirement that the couple have known each other at least 2 years, and requirement that they have lived together for at least 90 days (anywhere) before applying for a K-1 visa.

Your spouse must be from a VWP country, or a country where visitor visas are issued. Because I can't imagine there are many $50k a year jobs that are going to let someone take a 3 month vacation to go live in another country with their significant other.

I don't make anywhere near $50k a year, and I have a family of 3. And we're doing just fine. Your judgement of people's coping abilities is a little harsh.

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Ready to do it, on 28 June 2011 - 0155AM said:

If I made the rules . . no co-sponsors, $50k/yr minimum for a family of two, requirement that the couple have known each other at least 2 years, and requirement that they have lived together for at least 90 days (anywhere) before applying for a K-1 visa

Your spouse must be from a VWP country, or a country where visitor visas are issued. Because I can't imagine there are many $50k a year jobs that are going to let someone take a 3 month vacation to go live in another country with their significant other.

I don't make anywhere near $50k a year, and I have a family of 3. And we're doing just fine. Your judgement of people's coping abilities is a little harsh.

Good heavens - you might as well do away with the K-1 visa all together if you set the bar that high. The only people who would be able to satisfy those criteria are older, well-established Americans who have sufficient time off invested in their careers to have reached a reasonable income level and who are to vacate their own responsibilities for 90 days to go and live in another country that has no immigration restrictions (a third world country, it sounds like) or is able to get their fiancee to visit the US for 3 months without having to work and support themselves (yet still prove sufficient ties to their home country so that the US Government will give them a Tourist visa). I sure know that my husband and I would not have been able to satisfy those criteria - neither of us were in a position to take a 3 month leave of absence and give up our own lives and responsibilities to 'live together' for 90 days in one or the other's countries. You are also completely disqualifying anyone who has a religious or cultural restriction on a couple living together prior to marriage. Even without having lived together at all before our marriage we have just celebrated our 7th anniversary.

[Golden Gate 530]

"People just don't seem to be factoring in how brutal life can really be in the US. Bringing in a foreign fiance that does not speak English (as many do, myself included) requires almost 24 hour attention for a few years. It's very similar to tending to a child. If the USC is not willing to do that, the fiance will absolutely eventually become bored to death if the USC does not find things for the foreign fiance to do all day long, everyday. "

Hmmmm. That's why it is so important for the immigrant to get out there and practice their English. They are not a child and if they have to be taken care of like you say for a couple of years, I sure can see the stress that would result. When I am in another country, I try to speak the language of that country and try to get along on my own, no matter where I am. I don't sit in my room all day waiting for my SO to do everything for me, because I am so afraid to get out there and socialize with the local culture. How will that person ever adapt if they are completely acting dependently on their USC?

I also agree with Squeaky. By the time I make $50,000 as a teacher, I will be practically retired, if ever, in this economic climate!! I don't think that should prevent me from marrying the person I love, who also happens to be a teacher. Seems a bit like discrimination.

Edited June 28, 2011 by Golden Gate

[KittyPollitt 284]

Good heavens - you might as well do away with the K-1 visa all together if you set the bar that high. The only people who would be able to satisfy those criteria are older, well-established Americans who have sufficient time off invested in their careers to have reached a reasonable income level and who are to vacate their own responsibilities for 90 days to go and live in another country that has no immigration restrictions (a third world country, it sounds like) or is able to get their fiancee to visit the US for 3 months without having to work and support themselves (yet still prove sufficient ties to their home country so that the US Government will give them a Tourist visa). I sure know that my husband and I would not have been able to satisfy those criteria - neither of us were in a position to take a 3 month leave of absence and give up our own lives and responsibilities to 'live together' for 90 days in one or the other's countries. You are also completely disqualifying anyone who has a religious or cultural restriction on a couple living together prior to marriage. Even without having lived together at all before our marriage we have just celebrated our 7th anniversary.

Happy Anniversary, Kathryn!

[Ready to do it 101]

Why should one need to learn to speak English. Being a gringo, I try to speak English as little as possible. I love the latin culture. My ex-wife who has been in the US for 20+ years does not speak English. Hispanics are the fastest growing population in the US, I don't see why a hispanic needs to learn english any more than a born and raised US Citizen needs to speak Spanish. It's one's choice. The point I made about life in the US being brutal has nothing to do with languages.

Regarding income, sure some people get by. However, given that public education in the US is horrendous I'm not so sure how people expect to get out of the poverty levels if they don't make an awful lot more money. With a decent K-12 private school education at $20k+/yr and most of the Ivies running $40K+/yr and even public state universities at $25k+/yr how can one possibly even consider having kids if one does not make $50K+/yr.

Think about it this way... It takes at least $500k over 18 years to provide a child with an adequate education (assume public school K-5)... and that does not include university. How in the world does the US govt expect a petitioner to support himself and spouse on $18k/yr? That doesn't even cover the cost for 2 low cost car payments, car insurance, and health insurance... not to mention a place to live and food? Kids in the mix... forget about it. Can a family drive 2 clunkers, liability insurance only, and accept welfare healthcare? Sure. Thus the reason I stated that a beneficiary should be able to come to the US and see firsthand whether they really want to be driving a clunker, have to use welfare healthcare, etc before having to commit to the longhaul. One might say it is their choice... it is, but trust me when I tell you that the $400/month salary and lifestyle that many foreigners are accustomed to in their own country is many many steps above the lifestyle of a USC living in the US on $20k/yr.

We're all entitled to our opinions. Mine is that the US should get rid of all social programs for everyone and quite frankly the US can open the borders for all I care. A world without boundaries. The hard workers will succeed, regardless of where they are from. The less educated or lazy will not. Get rid of social programs and it would be shocking how hard people begin to work or for that matter... how hard people start looking for a job.

I rambled a bit, but the premise is all about a beneficiary should have time to adjust in the US and determine whether they want to stay in the US. I have been with my fiance for over 5 years. It doesn't matter how much we love each other or how much time we have spent living under the same roof. No one can prepare for what it is like on both the USC and the beneficiary once the beneficiary arrives to the US.

Edited June 29, 2011 by Ready to do it

[KittyPollitt 284]

Regarding income, sure some people get by. However, given that public education in the US is horrendous I'm not so sure how people expect to get out of the poverty levels if they don't make an awful lot more money. With a decent K-12 private school education at $20k+/yr and most of the Ivies running $40K+/yr and even public state universities at $25k+/yr how can one possibly even consider having kids if one does not make $50K+/yr.

Think about it this way... It takes at least $500k over 18 years to provide a child with an adequate education (assume public school K-5)... and that does not include university. How in the world does the US govt expect a petitioner to support himself and spouse on $18k/yr? That doesn't even cover the cost for 2 low cost car payments, car insurance, and health insurance... not to mention a place to live and food? Kids in the mix... forget about it. Can a family drive 2 clunkers, liability insurance only, and accept welfare healthcare? Sure. Thus the reason I stated that a beneficiary should be able to come to the US and see firsthand whether they really want to be driving a clunker, have to use welfare healthcare, etc before having to commit to the longhaul. One might say it is their choice... it is, but trust me when I tell you that the $400/month salary and lifestyle that many foreigners are accustomed to in their own country is many many steps above the lifestyle of a USC living in the US on $20k/yr.

You talk a lot about money. Not everyone has the same goals, man. I personally could give a ####### less about driving fancy cars and owning a McMansion, sending my kids to Ivy League schools and the pie in the sky "American Dream". Some people just want to be happy. My father put himself through university working as a sandblaster. My mother as a typist. Thank goodness my parents and my parent's parents weren't thinking about a bottom line when they had their kids.

Kids of "international" relationships are particularly blessed because they have the option of taking their shoddy US public school education back to their immigrant parent's home country, where it's top notch (unless of course, their immigrant parent is from Western Europe, lol). There's lots of low cost options for a decent education in the US- starting with charter schools, and ending with Pell Grants. I don't think it'd be fair to force a rich man's bottom line in a country that is predominately lower middle class to middle class.

To see me driving in my clunker, living in a tiny apartment, wearing Wal Mart clothes, you'd think I'm bad off, financially. The joke is on those who think that. My clunker is paid for and has full coverage, and I have no credit debt at all.

[Irrelevant 1]

Hell at least the marriage of convenience and fraud cases both people know what they are diving into so at least no one is going to get hurt.

The one scenario where it does make sense is when two people want to try furthering a relationship, but the foreign partners country is too dangerous or unstable for it to be an option. But even then the pressure to get married is suffocating.

You know what I think is suffocating? Your apparent fear of marriage and maybe commitment in general. Its not about how things are when you 'dive in'- its about how you make it work afterwards. You won't even make it through USCIS with that attitude hehe. The intent of immigration law is (probably) to enable uniting family- those who already are or soon to be family- its not meant to facilitate non-committal relationships.

[JimVaPhuong 4,863]

Why should one need to learn to speak English. Being a gringo, I try to speak English as little as possible. I love the latin culture. My ex-wife who has been in the US for 20+ years does not speak English. Hispanics are the fastest growing population in the US, I don't see why a hispanic needs to learn english any more than a born and raised US Citizen needs to speak Spanish. It's one's choice. The point I made about life in the US being brutal has nothing to do with languages.

A lot of us have spouses who do not come from Spanish speaking countries. Only about 15% of the US population speak Spanish, and many of those also speak English. English is, by far, the most spoken language in the United States. Sure, you can come to the US and choose not to learn English. Your career options will be limited to companies where the ability to speak only Spanish is acceptable. You will not be able to shop in stores unless there is at least one person there who can speak Spanish. You will also not be able to become a US citizen, as fluency in English is required.

English is the de-facto language of the United States. A lot of doors open up for immigrants who can speak English.