Paul & Mallory

Online printouts are fine - mine are the same, and I just printed them myself from my online banking with my bank. Be sure to black out your full account number (you can leave the last 4 digits visible for reference purposes). I used to work in financial fraud, so I think of those things.
 
My understanding is the household number, for this purpose, is the household size including the beneficiary. In this case, I would imagine it would be your dad (co-sponsor), you (petitioner), and your fiancé (beneficiary). I didn't use a co-sponsor, so someone please correct me if I'm wrong!
 
As for the letter - try searching the forums for something like "co-sponsor letter of intent" with regard to the Affidavit of Support. I found an example template of a letter of intent to marry that we used when submitting our initial application, and that seemed to work well for us.
 
Good luck!

People get mixed experiences with this, so it really comes down to which bank, and sometimes the knowledge level of the banker you end up sitting down with. However, most banks should legally be able to add someone as a joint signer (especially on an existing account) without a green card. I was able to add my husband once he got here, and they used his passport and Social Security Card (even with the DHS restriction verbiage) as his identification.
 
Perhaps switch banks, or try pursuing with upper management if you really want to stay with the same bank.
 
That aside - it's not required to show joint bank accounts for AOS evidence, even though a lot of people do use that. If this isn't something that you can bring to fruition, reallocate your focus on other pieces of evidence, such as getting your wife's name on utilities or other accounts, getting her added to your lease or mortgage and/or renters/home owners insurance, etc. Those things can support her stateside residence with you as well as bank accounts.

I think it's worth re-mentioning that leaving without AP or green card is abandoning AOS. This means she cannot come back, under this particular status or circumstance. She cannot return home, and then want to come back and try again. You guys would have to file all over again for a CR1, as you are married now, and go through that process. I know you mention this in your post, but feel it is worth addressing directly. Some people make choices thinking they can change their mind again if they want to, but there always comes a point in immigration that is of no return, and you cannot change your mind again. Just make sure you are BOTH aware of that before moving forward.

The part between NOA2 and NVC has slowed down quite a bit over just the past month or two. 11 weeks is no longer the average. There are people who received NOA2 in November who are still waiting for NVC notice.
 
The average right now for those currently waiting for NVC notice is around 40-50 days. Some have waited as long as 60. Could it be sooner than that? Of course. We're all hoping that now that the holidays are over, it will begin picking back up. Is it the wisest decision to rely on that? Probably not.
 
They say you can begin calling 2 weeks after your NOA2 date - from what I've heard of others around the forums who are a bit further along than us (our NOA2 was December 1st, still waiting), they won't tell you much at that point. Just that it's within processing, or whatever that standard line is. I have not personally called yet. After assessing the average wait times, I'm giving them until the top of February before I start making noise.
 
As for an April wedding - I won't be a Debbie downer and say absolutely not. That feels very cutting-it-close to me; once NVC is over, you still have whatever medical requirements there are in your situation, and of course the final interview. I would just keep that in mind and if the beneficiary is ready to book a flight and come over as soon as everything is squared away (no other personal loose ends to take care of), then you very well could be alright. Just be prepared for things to get backlogged and take longer than expected, as so far every step we've come to has been that way unfortunately.
 
Best of luck to you!

Hi there! I see some other folks have responded, but I will still share our experience/feedback.
 
So, in our experience, the officer did not ask for the vaccination updates when we went for the AOS interview. We had to bring it up. However, it appeared that she SHOULD have asked for it, because she seemed confused for a moment and made a comment that they hadn't flagged something properly, or whatever. So I got the feeling that it was required, and if we hadn't brought it up, it could have come back up down the road somewhere. So definitely go  to the interview prepared to answer for that.
 
We didn't receive any incomplete/RFE notices prior to the interview because you are not required to submit that documentation (i.e. I-693) with your AOS application. You can go ahead and file the application, then handle that business, and bring those updates to the interview.
 
In my opinion - it is necessary. They're going to want the required vaccinations accounted for once it's all said and done. You just don't have to scurry around to get that taken care of before you even apply for AOS, just before your interview date. You submitted the I-485 without the I-693 - that's fine. Just bring those papers to your interview and you will be good.  

As said by others, no one here is intentionally attacking or judging you. We've all met in unconventional ways, in one way or another, in order to even be in the middle of the processes that we are, so we certainly understand more than anyone else will. You made a good decision by coming to these forums for some wise and experienced advice. However, what people here ARE here for is to expose you to the questions, expectations, and complications you will face along the journey you are interested in embarking on. It's better to be aware of all of these scenarios now, and possibly be prepared for them. I'd advise to keep that in mind when reviewing responses you get here from other VJ members.

That being said, here is my opinion, based on my own experience and (somewhat limited) knowledge.
 
You do not fully learn a person solely online with zero face time. I know it feels like you know each other inside and out now, but you do not. I met my husband online, so I can entirely relate to you. And I've had to defend us and our relationship many times, for this reason, despite the fact that we met several times before even getting engaged. I felt the same way about him before we met in person. We were involved for a solid year before we ever even met face to face, and I was certain nothing would really change once we did. I was wrong. (Fortunately in my case, I was wrong in a good way). I got to know him on a whole other level. You can't learn how someone truly operates and navigates disagreements, arguments, or general problems unless you witness this face to face. It's easy to hide, or at least sugarcoat, things over the internet. These are characteristics and things that are important, if you are going to marry someone and spend the rest of your life together. This isn't being said to question your judgement of character, or in making your own life decisions. This is because COs will question these same things based on your situation, and it could cause hiccups or worse, denial.
 
I see a lot of people come through here who seem to want, or already have, jump/jumped the gun, so to speak, because the forthcoming wait time is daunting. And believe me, anyone here who's already been waiting any amount of time during their process can attest to that. It can make you eager and want to rush the "preliminaries" so as not to have to wait any longer than you'll have to. That's completely normal, especially when you're in love. Not saying this is necessarily your case, but it just sounds familiar.
 
I truly do not mean any disrespect with this part, and forgive me if that's what it conveys - you already indicated your age bracket and age difference. You aren't a 20-something, or a 30-something, I'd imagine based on the facts you've provided. The reason I bring this up - my husband and I are a bit "late in life" with our marriage, compared to average couples. He is also older than I am. This is also his second marriage. When you're in love, particularly when you are later in life and a bit past the "young and naïve" years of your life, you want your life together to begin NOW. Like, five minutes ago. You don't want to waste anymore time, because if you're like my husband and I, you already feel like you've lived a great deal of your life without them as it is. DON'T LET THIS DERAIL YOUR LONG TERM INTENTIONS. Jumping the gun and acting spontaneously has a large possibility of hurting you in the long run. It is not worth it to shave some time off the frontend, when it'll potentially cause even more time on the backend if you have RFEs, or even rejections where you have to start over.

My long rambling is basically to suggest this - take the time to visit one another as MUCH as you can. Most people here aren't millionaires. It took 2 and a half years for me to ever visit Sweden, where my husband is from, because of the cost of tickets and my vacation time at work. Although nothing is guaranteed, particularly with his past experience, let him try for his tourist visa again in August as you've mentioned - it could go through, and that will be a good visit for him to have on his track record when the time comes for your process. Go ahead and plan/take your trip there. Go. Enjoy it. Get to know him MORE. Get to know his local friends and family. Get to know his culture, his home. Even after almost 3 years together and already being engaged at the time, I gained a whole new perspective on my now-husband when I visited his home country. It allowed me to understand him so much more and form a much stronger bond, which I know only benefitted our marriage once we did finally get married.

As others have said - you have to view the CO perspective as this: when they read our cases, they have to determine if the beneficiary is committing visa fraud (are they just using this to get a green card?). Things like very large age gaps and no in-person meetings beforehand are major indicators for this. While you cannot do anything about your age difference, and this alone is not necessarily means for a rejection, you CAN do something about no in-person meetings. You have to focus on the things you DO have control over, and make sure those factors are as strong as humanly possible. That is how you will get an approval at the end of this yellow brick road. They don't care if you're in love. They don't care about our relationships. We are cases to them, and they have to apply specific criteria to determine the outcome - it's not emotionally based.
 
Sorry for such a long post - I didn't realize my thoughts would take me quite so far when I began typing.  At any rate, even if all you read is this - let it be for me to wish you the best of luck, no matter the choice you and your partner make, and pray for the peace that surpasses understanding (as this is definitely something we have struggled with ourselves!)

Well good Lord-a mercy. This Tell All is teeing up to be quite the trainwreck. Last night's first half was.... well, exactly what I expected, with that crowd. I am on the edge of my seat at work today awaiting tonight's second half
 
Still not understanding why in the world Jesse is there. Of course, other than to increase viewers, because they have put him in every single commercial for the Tell All.
 
My favorite person of the entire season is Tom's sister. She's the real MVP.
 
#WhatsHisFavoriteColorDarcey

Well good Lord-a mercy. This Tell All is teeing up to be quite the trainwreck. Last night's first half was.... well, exactly what I expected, with that crowd. I am on the edge of my seat at work today awaiting tonight's second half
 
Still not understanding why in the world Jesse is there. Of course, other than to increase viewers, because they have put him in every single commercial for the Tell All.
 
My favorite person of the entire season is Tom's sister. She's the real MVP.
 
#WhatsHisFavoriteColorDarcey

I really wonder if they were cutting that segment up, with Liam. The laughter was just too incredibly off center.
 
There were other parts of the Tell All that were clearly cut up, because the person ended a sentence with a cadence indicating they continued to say something else, but it cut off as though that's where they stopped. Which looked and sounded so odd.
 
I get TV shows are manufactured to "fit a certain script", but I feel like it's become so comically obvious with the 90 day shows, or TLC in general (I don't watch a lot of other TLC reality to know if it's just this show or not).
 
Anyway - what WASN'T manufactured was Evelyn not wearing her ring, and being so passive about their relationship. "You can just find someone else you can trust." Trust doesn't work that way! It's not HIS responsibility to earn YOUR trust back - YOU'RE the one who was dishonest and pretty much cheated. And hey... I've forgotten to put my rings on a couple of times, on late mornings running late to work. But if I'm going to be appearing on a TV show ABOUT my relationship, I'm pretty sure I'm going to remember them that day. "Oh I just forgot." No, it just isn't important to you. I really can't even stand her.

Well good Lord-a mercy. This Tell All is teeing up to be quite the trainwreck. Last night's first half was.... well, exactly what I expected, with that crowd. I am on the edge of my seat at work today awaiting tonight's second half
 
Still not understanding why in the world Jesse is there. Of course, other than to increase viewers, because they have put him in every single commercial for the Tell All.
 
My favorite person of the entire season is Tom's sister. She's the real MVP.
 
#WhatsHisFavoriteColorDarcey

Well good Lord-a mercy. This Tell All is teeing up to be quite the trainwreck. Last night's first half was.... well, exactly what I expected, with that crowd. I am on the edge of my seat at work today awaiting tonight's second half
 
Still not understanding why in the world Jesse is there. Of course, other than to increase viewers, because they have put him in every single commercial for the Tell All.
 
My favorite person of the entire season is Tom's sister. She's the real MVP.
 
#WhatsHisFavoriteColorDarcey

I'm not sure what I'm more confused about - the original post in this thread, or the person who said this is part of American culture...? Um. Alright.
 
"Find a way to let her know"...?? You aren't informing her about maintenance she should get done on a car - seriously?
 
SHE should be more concerned about marrying someone who would withhold that kind of information from her, and WANT to continue withholding it into the marriage, than YOU should be concerned over her knowing you were married before. Come on.
 
PS - they'll very likely require copies of your divorce decree during the immigration process. At the very least, it WILL come up. Either to her directly, or in front of her. I suppose if you haven't taken this all that seriously to begin with, you could just wait and let the CO "let her know" and save yourself the trouble.

I'm not sure what I'm more confused about - the original post in this thread, or the person who said this is part of American culture...? Um. Alright.
 
"Find a way to let her know"...?? You aren't informing her about maintenance she should get done on a car - seriously?
 
SHE should be more concerned about marrying someone who would withhold that kind of information from her, and WANT to continue withholding it into the marriage, than YOU should be concerned over her knowing you were married before. Come on.
 
PS - they'll very likely require copies of your divorce decree during the immigration process. At the very least, it WILL come up. Either to her directly, or in front of her. I suppose if you haven't taken this all that seriously to begin with, you could just wait and let the CO "let her know" and save yourself the trouble.

I may or may not be mildly stalking you around here to keep up with your progress to get home
 
GREAT news to hear that things seem to be moving in a positive direction now! In these instances where you just don't know where to start, once something - ANYthing - happens, it suddenly feels like the ball is rolling and it's easier to manage.
 
I'm so happy to hear someone may accompany you home - sometimes just someone's presence in times like this makes a world of difference.

@Lotts - focus more on the actions at hand, and update us here whenever you can/are free to do so. This is understandably a difficult situation to overcome. Do update us when you are free to, particularly when you've returned home, so we all know you got away from this nightmare safely. <3

@Lotts - focus more on the actions at hand, and update us here whenever you can/are free to do so. This is understandably a difficult situation to overcome. Do update us when you are free to, particularly when you've returned home, so we all know you got away from this nightmare safely. <3

Hello.
Quick update. The silence is due to having to be discreet about things so I don't get any further aggravation from him.
 
I managed to get some help to renew my passport. Works out cheaper in the long run.
The first step is under way. More planning can happen once I have my passport back as I need photo id to book my cat's travel and my belongings being shipped back.

Tiffany angers me so much. Their whole story does, actually. She came over there, moved her young son over there and ripped him away from his family and home, then gets knocked up IMMEDIATELY. THEN takes them all and goes back to the US and leaves the guy in Africa alone. He's not a real winner, in my opinion, but he didn't deserve that. How reckless. She should have come there ALONE for a specific amount of time first to decide if she could actually live there or not before doing all the rest. It's selfish.
 
But at the same time, I also wonder if some of this stuff is intentionally scripted. Well, we know a lot of stuff is anyway, but the whole airport scene when they left seemed so fake. The kid was making noises and scrunching up his face, but there were literally zero tears in his eyes or on his face the entire time. And her narrative over top of it was talking about how much it broke her heart to see her son break down like that, but then it's showing her standing there right beside them when he was "breaking down" and she looked so calm, like nothing difficult or devastating was even happening...? Maybe I'm too sensitive, but it didn't seem legitimate to me.
 
I'm also convinced the entire Caesar Salad Saga is a complete put on, and he's just a really bad actor. Like he's repeating lines, and very poorly.

You mentioned a couple times being able to talk to his family, or some of them at least, throughout this - is there anyone you think could help you, at least guide you somewhere that can help you, find funds to get back home? Like George&Roth said - a credit card, even. Paying it off/back would still be at the bottom of my list, if it were me. One good (bad?) thing about the states is most creditors will give a credit card of some kind to pretty much anyone, credit worthiness aside. My husband was able to get one (for emergency purposes) before he'd even started getting paid at his new job here. It's definitely a last-resort option, I think.
 
If following through with VAWA helps with your chances of not remaining banned in the future, I think it's definitely worth it. Regardless, it could be worth it just to have the claim on file somehow somewhere, I don't know.
 
Ugh, I just hate this for you so much.

Some thoughts:
1) Consider filing for work authorization if possible. Not sure if any issue filling the form with you being here long without the AOS yet, but I think you are the only signer on the I-765 so don't need him to do anything. You need $410 to file it. That would allow you to work and save for a flight https://www.uscis.gov/i-765
 
2) Get a ####### credit card to buy the tickets back
 
3) Contact loan providers
 
 

Hello fellow Scandinavians!
 
Just had my interview and it went perfect, except they haven't received my medical examination yet, which i already knew was going to happen.
(My case got expedited and did not have time to schedule medical in good enough time in advance)
 
So the interviewer told me that he will send my passport when they receive the medical examination records.
My question is, does anybody know if the embassy will send me an email when they receive the medical examination records, to let me know?
 
 
Thank you for all your help. 

I was thinking the same thing, verbal or emotional abuse for VAWA. 

http://asianjournalusa.com/emotional-abuse-is-covered-by-violence-against-women-act-p10376-159.htm
 
https://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/proving-abuse-vawa-case.html

I am far from well versed on the subject, but for those who are - is the VAWA route at all an option for @Lotts? I know she hasn't suggested physical domestic violence or abuse, but good Lord - intentionally refusing to file/pay for AOS and leaving her with literally nothing, being degrading to her verbally and I'm assuming emotionally/mentally as well....does any of that count for abuse, under VAWA standards? Does that route have resources for the beneficiary to get back to their home country and away from the petitioner who is perpetuating her misery?
 
There has to be help for people in these instances. It's easy to say "just call home and have your family help", but some people have no family to call, or family that is in the position to help. Not everyone has money laying around, or access to credit, to help on the spot like that.

I am far from well versed on the subject, but for those who are - is the VAWA route at all an option for @Lotts? I know she hasn't suggested physical domestic violence or abuse, but good Lord - intentionally refusing to file/pay for AOS and leaving her with literally nothing, being degrading to her verbally and I'm assuming emotionally/mentally as well....does any of that count for abuse, under VAWA standards? Does that route have resources for the beneficiary to get back to their home country and away from the petitioner who is perpetuating her misery?
 
There has to be help for people in these instances. It's easy to say "just call home and have your family help", but some people have no family to call, or family that is in the position to help. Not everyone has money laying around, or access to credit, to help on the spot like that.

I don’t even believe Tiffany has an intention of settling there. You didn’t see her getting her drivers license, didn’t see them registering Mah Boy for school, didn’t see her looking for jobs (she had plenty to say about not having any money but no indication that she was looking for work or planning to get a job to help with the finances - she’s not that pregnant that she can’t work). I’m convinced it was only ever intended to be a short visit. 
 
So, what a “success” this series “The Other Way” was...at least three broken relationships, one returned home (but at least is still married) and one couple coming to the US (Pole and Kreeeny). Who knew but it looks like Deaven and the Korean phone stealer might be the most successful couple on it.