What can I do?

[trudi 1,317]

1 hour ago, JosephAsh said:

Okay I see what you saying but I guess I used the wrong English on my post because I didn’t know about her at all until after I’ve already filed the papers.

 

1 hour ago, JosephAsh said:

Nope I haven’t met her, but have a lot of her pictures looks like me exactly and I remembered when the incident happened though I was still young. But the DNA I will still do that if needed 

You have a 15 year old child in your home country that you have never met and her mother is happy to send her to another country to live with what to her are strangers?

You have bigger problems than USCIS to be thinking about. If I was you I'd be concentrating on building a relationship with your child and getting your own immigration status resolved before trying to bring her here.

Sorry OP but it all sounds like a disaster waiting to happen and there's an innocent 15 year old girl caught in the middle

[SalishSea 16,839]

None of this story adds up.   Not surprised you were denied.

[Lemonslice 4,571]

5 hours ago, JosephAsh said:

Nope I haven’t met her, but have a lot of her pictures looks like me exactly and I remembered when the incident happened though I was still young. But the DNA I will still do that if needed 

Incident?

[African Zealot 1,453]

6 hours ago, trudi said:

 

You have a 15 year old child in your home country that you have never met and her mother is happy to send her to another country to live with what to her are strangers?

 

You also have no idea what you are talking about, perhaps you have never experienced real poverty or appreciate what it is in a developing economy context. I will conservatively estimate that there’s will be millions of women in my original country who will send their daughter (who will also be happy to go) to live with a father they have never met if he lives in the USA, Canada, or the developed western world, and these are not irresponsible mothers I am talking about.

 

Be very slow to judge what tough decisions others take when you have not lived in their shoes.

Edited February 14, 2021 by African Zealot

[JFH 12,189]

Have you been sending child support to your child since you learnt of her existence? 
 

What does the child think of all this? She’s probably never met you. At 15 she will have established friendships and developed bonds with people in her family and neighborhood. This isn’t an abandoned puppy you can just take home from a shelter and call it your own. 

[carmel34 3,533]

18 hours ago, JosephAsh said:

but unfortunately my adjustment of status was refused and the subsequent appeal has grown cold for about 3yrs now.

 

 

18 hours ago, JosephAsh said:

Can my wife apply for Alien relative for my daughter who is 15yrs now, or does she need to adopt her to be able to bring her over even though I omitted her in my refused application because I wasn't thinking straight. 

Back in September you posted that your wife cheated on you and you were considering divorce.  Your AOS has been denied because USCIS did not think your marriage was bona fide, and the appeal filed by your lawyer has "grown cold" for 3 years.  Your marriage relationship does not appear to be strong.  Your are at risk of deportation.  Why would you want to try and bring a 15 year old girl you have never met into this mess?  Focus on your own immigration status first, that should be your priority in my opinion.  There is no reason to file for her until your own status in the US allows you to stay legally.  Maybe hire a different attorney...  good luck.

[JFH 12,189]

10 hours ago, African Zealot said:

You also have no idea what you are talking about, perhaps you have never experienced real poverty or appreciate what it is in a developing economy context. I will conservatively estimate that there’s will be millions of women in my original country who will send their daughter (who will also be happy to go) to live with a father they have never met if he lives in the USA, Canada, or the developed western world, and these are not irresponsible mothers I am talking about.

 

Be very slow to judge what tough decisions others take when you have not lived in their shoes.

We are all aware of the lengths people will go to in order to achieve what is commonly perceived as a “better life” for themselves and their family members. The whole reason our own cases take so long and are subject to such in-depth investigation is precisely because of the huge volume of would-be applicants and the extraordinary measures they employ to achieve their goal. 
 

So no one would criticize the mother for looking for a way to improve her child’s opportunities in life. However, the family reunification visa categories were designed to bring families together, so that people can live with their loved ones. It has nothing to do with relieving the economic hardships of people in our homelands that we have never met. Visas are granted based on the family connection, not out of sympathy for the applicant’s financial position. 
 

If he is the father of this child, and he may well be, there are other things he can do for the child. Child support would be the first thing he should be providing. Followed by playing an active part in the child’s life - visits, communication, involvement in the decision-making process regarding her health and education, and so on. 
 

My father disappeared from my life at a very young age. I would not have been impressed if, when I was 15, he suddenly reappeared and announced he was taking me to a foreign country to live with him and his wife, whom I had never met, no matter how much money they had. It takes a lot more than that to be a father. 

[African Zealot 1,453]

8 minutes ago, JFH said:

 

My father disappeared from my life at a very young age. I would not have been impressed if, when I was 15, he suddenly reappeared and announced he was taking me to a foreign country to live with him and his wife, whom I had never met, no matter how much money they had. It takes a lot more than that to be a father. 

With due respect, your thesis is unnecessary. I didn’t say I approved of what this person is trying to do. I specifically addressed someone who was being critical of a mother who would’ve send her daughter off to live with a father she’d never met.

 

Finally, your experience is irrelevant. I am talking about how millions of people from developing countries living in poverty think.

[JFH 12,189]

46 minutes ago, African Zealot said:

With due respect, your thesis is unnecessary. I didn’t say I approved of what this person is trying to do. I specifically addressed someone who was being critical of a mother who would’ve send her daughter off to live with a father she’d never met.

 

Finally, your experience is irrelevant. I am talking about how millions of people from developing countries living in poverty think.

Perhaps spare a moment for how the child might be thinking.

 

And for all we know, poverty might not be an issue here. The OP has not given any information about the financial status of his child and her mother. I know it’s a very common misconception here that all other countries except the US are poor and everyone wants to come here for economic reasons. 

Edited February 14, 2021 by JFH

[Boiler 43,647]

How did Africa come into this? Sounds like I missed something.

[JosephAsh 2]

Hmmm I posted this to get a good advice from people on here but y’all fighting on my own post 🤷‍♂️

[African Zealot 1,453]

1 hour ago, JFH said:

Perhaps spare a moment for how the child might be thinking.

 

And for all we know, poverty might not be an issue here. The OP has not given any information about the financial status of his child and her mother. I know it’s a very common misconception here that all other countries except the US are poor and everyone wants to come here for economic reasons. 

I think you need to follow the discussion, I am not approving of the OP’s plan. I am simply pointing out that millions and millions of people in developing countries will willingly send their children off to live with strangers in advanced countries, much less a father.

 

Finally I was nor only born and raised in a developing economy, I have extensive personal social experience of several. I am by no means calling the USA heaven or claiming everyone in a developing country will migrate to the USA. I have classmates and know people back home who have zero interest in doing so including my own father who was educated here and promptly returned home upon graduation.

 

However there are millions and millions and even billions. You simply need to look at the southern border and the thousands of children who are sent up north by their parents unaccompanied. It’s not even debatable.

Edited February 14, 2021 by African Zealot

[mushroomspore 3,043]

1 hour ago, JosephAsh said:

Hmmm I posted this to get a good advice from people on here but y’all fighting on my own post 🤷‍♂️

Bottom line is: you're gonna need a lawyer for this. This is not a DIY case. I can understand the heightened emotions because there is a child involved here. But ultimately, this is a little above VJ's paygrade.

19 hours ago, trudi said:

 

You have a 15 year old child in your home country that you have never met and her mother is happy to send her to another country to live with what to her are strangers?

You have bigger problems than USCIS to be thinking about. If I was you I'd be concentrating on building a relationship with your child and getting your own immigration status resolved before trying to bring her here.

Sorry OP but it all sounds like a disaster waiting to happen and there's an innocent 15 year old girl caught in the middle

To be fair, we have NO idea what the child's relationship is like with her mother and what their lives are like in their home country and their motivations for considering the change. Maybe the daughter does want to come to the US. Maybe she doesn't actually like her home country. We have no idea and honestly, OP doesn't owe us a detailed explanation about it if he doesn't want to share it because that's pretty personal stuff. He should simply consult a few lawyers and tell them the whole story because his situation's somewhat unique and complex. Not much VJ can do for him.

[Unlockable 7,306]

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