I need urgent advice - Husband's mental health Decision and how to get out of this

[Tschuulia 28]

Hi,
So im a bit in a misery right now and have a few questions.

My husband quit his job friday a day after i asked him if he thinks we should try to expedite our Case which is still at The NVC.
So now he has no job but didnt file for unemployment benefits yet because he wants to go back to his old job and handle for better salary etc.
Anyway, the reason for our expedite would've been emotional hardship, he really wants me to live with him as soon as possible because his life is a mess at the moment with everything going on, mental health etc. 

So when we expedite and they grant it, i will get an appointment and the officer at the embassy asks me why he quit his job, And i cant really give them a good explanation why he did, are they most likely to deny it? 
Because of the reason that he has no income at the moment but is actively searching for a new job? 
Also would he be granted to come visit me and to go to my interview with me? 

my Mother in Law asked me if its possible for my former Hostfamily to be a co sponsor, we already submitted all of our documents and sent them off, i was on a J1 Visa as Au Pair 03/2017-12/2018, and got an email to become documentarily qualified already and they have received everything they needed.
 

So would it take longer for us to get an interview appointment if we submit another document, stating that my hostfamily would co sponsor me, if he isnt able to get a job ( or his old job back ) soon? 

im just so out of options here and he continuously says that he needs me to be with him.
Can i do anything else meanwhile? 
he wont get help from anyone, and its really hard for me to be there for him on the phone.

 

Im in Germany, which is in the Schengen Area & he's in WA, Seattle, USC. 
 

im really in need for people giving me good advice or even help me out here. 
do i need a lawyer? 

Thanks

[Crazy Cat 39,375]

"Emotional hardship" ?   We ALL qualify.......To be truthful, your case is not special.......this process requires a great deal of knowledge, PLANNING, time, patience, and money.......Now, you MUST find a qualified joint sponsor if he is unemployed at the time of the interview.  Just take documentation for your joint sponsor to the interview.  You started this process in November 2019........You will very possibly have your visa within 1 year of first submitting the I-130.  That is faster than the average......My advice to your husband:  Buckle up and ride this out a few more months.

Edited June 14, 2020 by Lucky Cat

[Tschuulia 28]

6 minutes ago, Lucky Cat said:

"Emotional hardship"  We ALL qualify.......

Its also about his health! Not just that he wants me there but i am apparently the only one he listens to right now. 
 

[gregcrs2 1,777]

3 minutes ago, Tschuulia said:

Its also about his health! Not just that he wants me there but i am apparently the only one he listens to right now. 
 

Did you tell him NOT to quit his job?  Sorry, but this is not expedite criteria.

[Crazy Cat 39,375]

2 minutes ago, Tschuulia said:

Its also about his health! Not just that he wants me there but i am apparently the only one he listens to right now. 
 

I question the sincerity of anyone who does not experience some depression during this process.  Separation is not fun or easy.  But, it is a necessity for most of us who go down this immigration path.  You, likely, are only a few months away from visa issuance.....Once the travel restrictions are lifted, he can travel to visit you.

[Tschuulia 28]

2 minutes ago, gregcrs2 said:

Did you tell him NOT to quit his job?  Sorry, but this is not expedite criteria.

He didnt even told me he quit. 
he is all over the place right now in his mind and does things like that which are very stupid and i told him so!.

 

so im really hoping he goes to his boss and asks for his job back! 🤦🏼‍♀️😭

[Crazy Cat 39,375]

22 minutes ago, Tschuulia said:

do i need a lawyer?

No.......An attorney can not help.....

[Tschuulia 28]

3 minutes ago, Lucky Cat said:

I question the sincerity of anyone who does not experience some depression during this process.  Separation is not fun or easy.  But, it is a necessity for most of us who go down this immigration path.  You, likely, are only a few months away from visa issuance.....Once the travel restrictions are lifted, he can travel to visit you.

Yes i know.

thanks for answering! 
 

hope he takes all of this seriously enough 

[Crazy Cat 39,375]

1 minute ago, Tschuulia said:

Yes i know.

thanks for answering! 
 

hope he takes all of this seriously enough 

Just sitting around is the LAST thing he needs to do.  Staying busy is helpful......

[Tschuulia 28]

18 minutes ago, Lucky Cat said:

Just sitting around is the LAST thing he needs to do.  Staying busy is helpful......

His mom and i tried everything,

I hope i can talk to him before i go to bed and see that he didnt do a very good thing by quitting.

 

thanks for the help.
i was prepared for the every single step along the way To here now but that threw me off and thats why i seek help from people i dont know because they have different perspective on things and experience.  So thanks

 

[JFH 12,189]

To answer the question about the former host family being a sponsor...yes, assuming they meet the financial and residency requirements and, most importantly, they are willing to be joint sponsors then they can be. However, be prepared for the embassy to question why you are using a completely unrelated person as a joint sponsor. We had a joint sponsor - our niece’s husband - and at my interview I was asked how the joint sponsor was related to us. Once I explained the family tree the officer was happy and he said they prefer it when the joint sponsor is related by blood or marriage to the petitioner and/or immigrant. Although legally any USC or LPR over 18 living in the US and with sufficient funds can be a joint sponsor, it’s a little red flag if it’s someone to whom you are not related. Given your husband’s reluctance to work or file for unemployment insurance, I would not be surprised if the host family have reservations about putting themselves in a position of potentially being sued by the government if you take public assistance. Is there any reason why your mother-in-law or another family member is not prepared to act as a joint sponsor? 
 

I am in WA also. I doubt very much that he will be able to walk back into his job. I certainly wouldn’t take someone back who had walked out. Unemployment levels here are at their highest in decades - companies can pick and choose who works for them now. It’s survival of the fittest. Our company policy, for example, will not allow anyone to come back who does not satisfactorily work a 2-week notice period. This is, like many other states, an “at will” state and you can be let go for any reason whatsoever. There is no guarantee of employment. Walking out on a job right now is one of the worst decisions anyone can make.
 

He sounds very immature and needs to pull himself together. Immigration is very much a game for grown-ups to play and the more grown-up and sensible you are, the easier it will be. 

[JeanneAdil 6,220]

Something to know when you talk to him

If he had lost his job because of being laid off, he could go for unemployment benefits

but he quit,  so he can't collect (so don't bring this up)

 

i would try to encourage the part of going back to work as that is the best way to show immigration he wants you here

We all go thru an emotional upheaval during this process as someone else is controlling our life, and we have to bare all our most personal and financial information

 

but for you ,  in Germany,  this will not take years like many of us who have a more difficult time (i applied 1st in 2009 and he finally got the visa in 2015)

 

if he doesn't listen to his mom and you,  maybe there is a best friend his mom could contact to help him go thru this

 

 

[Sparkle Sparkle 913]

2 hours ago, Tschuulia said:

His mom and i tried everything,

I hope i can talk to him before i go to bed and see that he didnt do a very good thing by quitting.

 

thanks for the help.
i was prepared for the every single step along the way To here now but that threw me off and thats why i seek help from people i dont know because they have different perspective on things and experience.  So thanks

 

The truth about is COVID has caused us alot of hardships...both financially ,emotionally , health and for some people psychologically. The decision on when and how is not in our hands but what we can do to make  the wait easier  is stability....keep your condition stable....financially ,health etc...that is the only why we can all get through this. Its unfortunate he quit his job and as you can see its already a added strain to the whole process . True it might me difficult to be considered as emergency for a visa...you can still help him through it all long distance..wish you guys all the best

[Tschuulia 28]

Thanks to all! 
appreciate all of your advice, had been in touch with my MiL and shared some of the things From here with her and we will try our best we can. 

i will talk to him, about his job and what consequences it has for us to be without a job.

 

@JFH he might be lucky to get his job back because he's done good work for them, And his boss is very understanding. 
So im crossing fingers here at this point.

 

[Crazy Cat 39,375]

20 minutes ago, Tschuulia said:

Thanks to all! 
appreciate all of your advice, had been in touch with my MiL and shared some of the things From here with her and we will try our best we can. 

i will talk to him, about his job and what consequences it has for us to be without a job.

 

@JFH he might be lucky to get his job back because he's done good work for them, And his boss is very understanding. 
So im crossing fingers here at this point.

 

Many of us have endured separation for more than a year during the process.  It is not fun, but it can be done.....good luck.