Depression..

[mrandmrsBRS 116]

Hey,

so I've been in the US for 1 1/2 months now and I couldn't be happier.

But I think I am depressed.

I have no drivers license and my husband has to work a lot. Usually I am home 24/7. We have two dogs which I take for short walks, trying to increase the length (both pull a lot and go crazy when they see other dogs, they are Weimaraners).

Now, I am not used to being home all day. I used to live in Berlin...huge difference.

I started a blog to write about my new life here in the US. But that's not enough.

What else can I do?

I can't wait to finally have my drivers license. We are still waiting for my social security number.

TIA

[TBoneTX 43,058]

Your feelings are very, very typical of those who have newly arrived.

Fortunately, you entered on a CR-1, which should shorten this "limbo" time.

Do you live in a university town? If so, when your husband leaves for work, he could drop you at the student center and pick you up in the evening.

And/or, he could drop you at the public library.

When you're at home, you can make lists of things that you want to do after you have your Social Security card and your driver's license. Let your imagination run free. Be as detailed as possible as you write down your plans. You might not end up doing everything that you write down, or what you actually do might vary, but this is a good intellectual exercise that will help you to focus on the future, rather than the "limbo" of the present.

[NikLR 13,220]

Hey,

so I've been in the US for 1 1/2 months now and I couldn't be happier.

But I think I am depressed.

I have no drivers license and my husband has to work a lot. Usually I am home 24/7. We have two dogs which I take for short walks, trying to increase the length (both pull a lot and go crazy when they see other dogs, they are Weimaraners).

Now, I am not used to being home all day. I used to live in Berlin...huge difference.

I started a blog to write about my new life here in the US. But that's not enough.

What else can I do?

I can't wait to finally have my drivers license. We are still waiting for my social security number.

TIA

Weims need strong owners. Not physically, but mentally. Study some books or watch some Cesar Millan shows on how to have a better walk with your dogs. They should not be pulling you around everywhere, and they do need a lot of exercise as hunting bred dogs (think an hour run every day!) But if you're their alpha, they won't pull like that.

It's really natural to be homesick, even when you're happy to be someplace. I moved from Canada and I was homesick for the first year. I could work and drive, but things were just different.

If you don't have your SSN yet, you should go get it. This is too long to be waiting. Go the SSA office and bring your endorsed passport to show you have a green card. Hopefully the hard copy green card will get to you soon.

I would make a list of places you guys can visit or eat on his time off. Try some new restaurants. Go hiking or to a new park. A wine and painting place?

Maybe you can get a scooter or bike to get to places close by in the mean time or learn the bus schedule? Study for the driver's exam too!

Try some online programs or the local university or college for something new to learn. Even the library like Tbone suggested.

I"m checking out your blog now

Edited March 21, 2016 by NLR

[Meri&Azbi2 0]

Hi there,

I have been, and still I am at the same position. Thanks God I go with my husband at his work, he own a small bussiness and give him a hand there till 4 o clock . My san goes to school till 3 pm. Despite of this time, I get it very hard to pas the afternoon and evening time . My husband comes home at 10:15 and when he goes to the gym at 12:30. So ... a lot of time to get your mind crazy. The idea that TBoneTX wrote is reaally good. I have done it, but not in details. I alsow found it useful reading books. You can contact your friends and family and can talk with them time after time. I feel very wrll agter a long talk with my close friends in europe. ( My country is Albania)

Dont get worry. Just think what you have passed to be with your husband. Of course it is a big difference from Europe.... but we knew this before. My husband always says: Everything at a time, dont rush. And during these months, I have found it out that HE IS RIGHT.

HOPE YOU WILL BE OK SOON, Best of all

[TheResistance 6]

What kind of hobbies you have? What passions you think you could get back to pursuing?

[mansux 9]

How about doing some volunteer work somewhere? You won't get paid but you will feel useful

[N and J 88]

It is very normal and I would think a type of "depression" which could be situational depression is normal. You left the life you knew and moved who a whole new place. It is understandable and culture shock could also be something that you are experiencing. If you could volunteer some place that would be cool. I don't know the area you are in but where I live if you don't have a car there is not much you can do....especially in the winter. In the spring and summer at least without a car, you can walk to the few stores we have here. Get on google see what is in your area. Look and see if there are things to do that interest you and maybe your husband could drop you off for a while. It will all change when you are able to get out and experience life by yourself. In the state of NJ (not sure about any place else) you can use your license from your country for up to 60 days I believe it is to drive on an international license =) Good luck and I hope the waiting time goes quick for you!!

[sailchoc 7]

If you live near a large city and are looking for things to do so that you don't get depressed, check out meetup.com (it's free). It will list all sort of groups for hobbies or maybe a group for other people from your country or people new to the US. If they meet on the weekend or evening your husband could go too.

[Ortolan 381]

I too moved to another country to be with my husband (though now we've moved back here to the U.S.). I went through the same thing! I found it really helped just to go for walks and be outside. I began to write short stories. I went for long walks and made lots of photos, watched people in the parks and in shopping areas, and generally tried to stay out of the house for at least three hours every day, and that really helped. You might look at this "floating time" as an opportunity to learn and to create something for yourself. best of luck to you!

[Boiler 43,436]

I use a prong collar on my pup.

[traveler100 20]

Hey,

so I've been in the US for 1 1/2 months now and I couldn't be happier.

But I think I am depressed.

I have no drivers license and my husband has to work a lot. Usually I am home 24/7. We have two dogs which I take for short walks, trying to increase the length (both pull a lot and go crazy when they see other dogs, they are Weimaraners).

Now, I am not used to being home all day. I used to live in Berlin...huge difference.

I started a blog to write about my new life here in the US. But that's not enough.

What else can I do?

I can't wait to finally have my drivers license. We are still waiting for my social security number.

TIA

Can I read your blogs? link please.

[REM4ALWAYS 18]

Maybe you can go volunteer somewhere like a food pantry or a battered women's shelter. If you're good at instruction, maybe you can become a German tutor.

[NikLR 13,220]

Can I read your blogs? link please.

Link is in her signature.

[kris&me 572]

Lots of good ideas but you need to meet people/ if you have computer, talk on whatsapp, skype or viber to family and freinds back home

Find the church or place of worship of your choice and get involved

i am sure there are many in virginia from your home country

my neighbor was German (working here) with Phillipine wife and they were busy every minute and she did not drive the whole 4 years

get to know your neighbors / husband could throw a little dinner party for you / or invite people in to share one of big sporting events

the March madness is on now

me, i am into soccer and try to watch BEIN sports

[chiggins82 87]

So funny, I just posted this on a different thread! It is not easy sitting around at home. My biggest struggle was I hated doing things that cost money. I don't know why, but I felt guilty every time I spent anything. Even now that I am working, I am struggling. I don't fit in at work. I haven't made a ton of friends. I have a supportive spouse, but I really miss my old independent life!

When I was feeling really depressed, I would make sure I was making the bed, and getting dressed every day. At least if I did nothing else, I was ready for the day. I also tried to make sure I did something active every day and something just for me, whether it was reading a book, or a bad TV show...

Things that I did while I was waiting:

• Volunteered - Found somewhere through an online search - Maybe they can refine the search for non-english speaking roles?
  
• Meet-ups - Found an ex-pat group and a few others, but most were in the evening. Not a lot in the daytime
  
• Played Tourist - Tried to get to one site a week - A lot of galleries, museums, etc have free days once in a while
  
• Took a couple classes from the library
  
• Went to the gym, lots of walks, bike rides, went to public beaches
  
• Read, TV, Surfed the Net (More than I'd like to admit)
  
• Cooked/Baked
  
• Researched upcoming immigration stuff and posted on here
  

I wish I had done more prep for re-entering the workforce. I was not so aware of the companies out there, and what I wanted to do and how I could have prepped.