Avoid abandoning LPR - sick mother in home country

[Caro1 78]

Hello VJ-members,

 

I am very close to receiving IR-1 visa, assuming everything will go smoothly at my Interview on January 5, 2023.
 

However, my (German) mother just called me saying she has breast cancer. This obviously comes as a shock to me, I haven’t even told my family that I will be moving to the US soon, because I didn’t want to upset them before it’s even happening. 
 

On the one hand, I don’t want to jeopardize my visa (which has been such a long journey - my US citizen wife filed I-130 in March 2021), on the other hand I don’t want to just abandon my mother when who knows how long she’s going to live. She’s only 55 years old and her possibly dying has definitely not been on my mind - until now. 
 

I’m trying to think about what would be the best thing to do in this situation.

I had previously planned to move at the end of April 2023 (assuming I’ll get the visa right after interview and I have to give 3 month notice to quit my job in Germany ). 
 

now I just don’t know… should I try to move the interview to buy more time? (I’ll have to redo the medical, since I already did it on Dec 8 and it’s only valid for 6 months)

there is no way to extent the validation of 6 months to enter, is there? (I’m talking visa, not medical)

Could i enter the US as planned and visit my mother in Germany?

if so, what exactly are the rules to avoid abandoning LPR status? 
 

my mind is just running crazy right now, and I don’t know what to do…. 
Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. 🙏

[Letspaintcookies 2,216]

You can enter and apply for a re-entry permit. You'll have to do biometrics in the US but could leave immediately after. No need to wait for the approval. That would give you at least two years of staying outside the US without worries. Your wife can send or travel to you to bring your plastic Greencard and later the permit once it arrives so you have it with you to travel back to the US.

[Letspaintcookies 2,216]

You can also do short visits to your mom whenever needed. Sorry for your mom, hope she'll be fine.

[Boiler 43,622]

Could your wife move?

[JeanneAdil 6,224]

so sorry for your mom

Let's hope the  cancer is treatable /  many women do survive this

 

i would continue with the visa process and spend as much time now with her

 

then,  get your I 551 stamp on passport and travel (when able) to be with her

important to her to have family support especially if she needs any surgeries 

[Caro1 78]

Thank you @Letspaintcookies, I will look into that. 
 

15 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Could your wife move?

my wife actually already lives in Germany with me - temporarily to be able to still claim domicile in the US, we are using assets only to sponsor as we don’t have a reliable co-sponsor. 
My wife doesn’t enjoy Germany at all, and doesn’t want to live here long term. 
I’m worried if we stay here a lot longer (than necessary), it won’t be as easy to claim she’s got US domicile anymore 

[Caro1 78]

2 minutes ago, JeanneAdil said:

so sorry for your mom

Let's hope the  cancer is treatable /  many women do survive this

 

i would continue with the visa process and spend as much time now with her

 

then,  get your I 551 stamp on passport and travel (when able) to be with her

important to her to have family support especially if she needs any surgeries 

Thank you for your sympathy and advice 🙏

 

Are there any hard rules that i would have to follow? Such as don’t stay out of the US longer than I’ve been inside the US?

[Lil bear 3,842]

17 minutes ago, Caro1 said:

Thank you for your sympathy and advice 🙏

 

Are there any hard rules that i would have to follow? Such as don’t stay out of the US longer than I’ve been inside the US?

https://www.uscis.gov/green-card/after-we-grant-your-green-card/maintaining-permanent-residence

[iwannaplay54 985]

1 hour ago, Caro1 said:

Hello VJ-members,

 

I am very close to receiving IR-1 visa, assuming everything will go smoothly at my Interview on January 5, 2023.
 

However, my (German) mother just called me saying she has breast cancer. This obviously comes as a shock to me, I haven’t even told my family that I will be moving to the US soon, because I didn’t want to upset them before it’s even happening. 
 

On the one hand, I don’t want to jeopardize my visa (which has been such a long journey - my US citizen wife filed I-130 in March 2021), on the other hand I don’t want to just abandon my mother when who knows how long she’s going to live. She’s only 55 years old and her possibly dying has definitely not been on my mind - until now. 
 

I’m trying to think about what would be the best thing to do in this situation.

I had previously planned to move at the end of April 2023 (assuming I’ll get the visa right after interview and I have to give 3 month notice to quit my job in Germany ). 
 

now I just don’t know… should I try to move the interview to buy more time? (I’ll have to redo the medical, since I already did it on Dec 8 and it’s only valid for 6 months)

there is no way to extent the validation of 6 months to enter, is there? (I’m talking visa, not medical)

Could i enter the US as planned and visit my mother in Germany?

if so, what exactly are the rules to avoid abandoning LPR status? 
 

my mind is just running crazy right now, and I don’t know what to do…. 
Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. 🙏

My suggestion is activate the visa (enter the US) as planned then you can travel as you wish.

Not advised to stay out for longer than 6 months HOWEVER another option would be enter the US, apply for I131 travel document, wait until your biometrics are done, and that travel document will allow you to stay out of the US for up to two years.

Best of luck

[Caro1 78]

12 minutes ago, iwannaplay54 said:

My suggestion is activate the visa (enter the US) as planned then you can travel as you wish.

Not advised to stay out for longer than 6 months HOWEVER another option would be enter the US, apply for I131 travel document, wait until your biometrics are done, and that travel document will allow you to stay out of the US for up to two years.

Best of luck

Thank you!

 

also thank you to everyone else who took the time to respond!

 

I never expected to have to deal with this dilemma at this point in my life, but I guess life always throws you a curveball when you’re least expecting it…

[Kanja 201]

1 hour ago, Caro1 said:

Thank you!

 

also thank you to everyone else who took the time to respond!

 

I never expected to have to deal with this dilemma at this point in my life, but I guess life always throws you a curveball when you’re least expecting it…

Just want to say wishing you and your family peace, I hope your mom beats it.  

[STO Overland 137]

Nothing to contribute other than wishing for the best for your mum. 

[SalishSea 16,827]

Most breast cancers are extremely treatable, if not curable.  I would think that in a country like Germany, she will have access to the best care and treatments available.

 

Perhaps as she gets further along in the diagnostic phase, you will have a better idea of what type of support and help she will need, going forward.   Her treatment could be anything from a simple day surgery to 6 months of chemotherapy and radiation.  
 

In other words, your mom simply having a new breast cancer diagnosis doesn’t need to derail your plans to immigrate to the US.

 

Best luck.

[Caro1 78]

1 hour ago, Jorgedig said:

Most breast cancers are extremely treatable, if not curable.  I would think that in a country like Germany, she will have access to the best care and treatments available.

 

Perhaps as she gets further along in the diagnostic phase, you will have a better idea of what type of support and help she will need, going forward.   Her treatment could be anything from a simple day surgery to 6 months of chemotherapy and radiation.  
 

In other words, your mom simply having a new breast cancer diagnosis doesn’t need to derail your plans to immigrate to the US.

 

Best luck.

Yes, you’re right. 

My mom is still in the very early stages of diagnostics, no treatment plan has even been made yet. 
She told me on the phone that the growth in her breast seems to be pretty big (i.e. wasn’t  found early) and she wants to go on her planned vacation in January - which all made me feel like it’s a death sentence, because who would want to go on vacation unless there was no hope for recovery. 
 

I’m a total overthinker, my mind always jumps to worst case scenario first. It makes me feel better knowing if I have a plan for worst case scenario, I can also handle all other scenarios. 
i literally opened this thread within an hour of receiving her phone call 

 

but matter of fact is, we don’t know yet how bad it is, what possible treatment looks like, or anything really. 
She’ll have more scans and biopsies this week. 
 

Thank you for all your warm words! I truly appreciate it! 
@Jorgedig @STO Overland @Kanja

❤️

[TBoneTX 43,290]

Prayers and blessings.