Help! So Many Questions

[Mike27 0]

Hello,

I just found this forum and registered. I have read through a few posts already and am getting some good information. I think the number one question I have that I haven't found an answer to yet is, 'What defines intent to marry?'

For example, I do want to get married. But, I don't want to do it without having spent at least some time together in the situation we would be in if we got married. So, my question is, is it possible to use this visa to try dating in the same situation with the goal of being married? But, if something happens and it doesn't work out, that's ok?

I appreciate any help. I can assure you it all seems fairly overwhelming as someone who is just coming into it.

Thank you!

[payxibka 10,044]

13 minutes ago, Mike27 said:

Hello,

I just found this forum and registered. I have read through a few posts already and am getting some good information. I think the number one question I have that I haven't found an answer to yet is, 'What defines intent to marry?'

For example, I do want to get married. But, I don't want to do it without having spent at least some time together in the situation we would be in if we got married. So, my question is, is it possible to use this visa to try dating in the same situation with the goal of being married? But, if something happens and it doesn't work out, that's ok?

I appreciate any help. I can assure you it all seems fairly overwhelming as someone who is just coming into it.

Thank you!

The purpose of this visa is not to "kick the tires" but for people who state as a part of the petition that they understand and WILL marry within 90 days.  Doesn't mean it hasn't been used that way 

[Crazy Cat 39,646]

20 minutes ago, Mike27 said:

Hello,

I just found this forum and registered. I have read through a few posts already and am getting some good information. I think the number one question I have that I haven't found an answer to yet is, 'What defines intent to marry?'

For example, I do want to get married. But, I don't want to do it without having spent at least some time together in the situation we would be in if we got married. So, my question is, is it possible to use this visa to try dating in the same situation with the goal of being married? But, if something happens and it doesn't work out, that's ok?

I appreciate any help. I can assure you it all seems fairly overwhelming as someone who is just coming into it.

Thank you!

There is no dating visa......

[JeanneAdil 6,253]

If you decide not to marry in the 90 days ,  the person can return home 

but anyone not knowing if they should marry or not,  should give the relationship more time to develop

remember visiting and applying gets expensive for the USC and in it is not fair to either side to go thru the process without knowing "real love" and putting yourself out there to perhaps "be hurt"

[Mike27 0]

Thank you for the response. I appreciate it.

[Mike27 0]

Ok, gothca. THank you all

Edited December 1, 2020 by Mike27

[powerpuff 5,981]

Going through the USCIS immigration is the most unromantic thing ever and it will definitely test you as a couple. There is a lot of stress involved and if you’re just dating, it will put a lot of pressure on your relationship. I would absolutely not advise filing for K-1 if you’re not 100% certain that you will marry that person and want to spend your life with them. At the end of the day it’s your decision, but you should really think hard about whether or not you really want to go through with it at this point in your relationship.

[yuna628 9,542]

1 hour ago, Mike27 said:

Hello,

I just found this forum and registered. I have read through a few posts already and am getting some good information. I think the number one question I have that I haven't found an answer to yet is, 'What defines intent to marry?'

For example, I do want to get married. But, I don't want to do it without having spent at least some time together in the situation we would be in if we got married. So, my question is, is it possible to use this visa to try dating in the same situation with the goal of being married? But, if something happens and it doesn't work out, that's ok?

I appreciate any help. I can assure you it all seems fairly overwhelming as someone who is just coming into it.

Thank you!

I think the act of applying for a K1 is a serious commitment of both parties to get married, not a dating or try before you buy visa. You both swear to the government that you intend and will get married within the allotted time-frame. From a personal standpoint think of it in terms of any other marriage. Marriage is a serious act of commitment itself. It is also not a try before you buy. While many average couples try out living together, this is not typically possible in the realm of international marriages. Ideally, you should try and visit as much as you can and know each other as well as you can to decide on such a commitment. It is up to the couple to do everything they can to develop the relationship under the distance constraints they face. The average marriage doesn't always work out, let alone an international one.

 

For instance I knew my husband was the man I was going to marry the day I met him. But we took many years developing that relationship for 10+ before applying. I suspect most persons aren't going to wait that long. I would say if you have doubts or need more time, than a K1 right now is probably not appropriate for you.

[Fe.Ta 858]

As others have said, the K1 visa, even though some people may have used or still do use it as a "trial and error", is for the purpose of bringing someone whom you already consider the person you are engaged to and want/intend to marry.  You are given the 90 days probably for reasons of paperwork, giving yourselves some time to live in what will be your home country (for the incoming person it could be a culture shock, etc.), and some others things.  I don't think it is meant for you to see "how dating goes".  I know taking time can be frustrating with the long distance and never truly knowing whether living under the same roof will be as good was what you got far apart.  Also, the traveling back and forth can be expensive for either one of you.  Then, there are work restrictions, and so on.  But, it is worth it to give it a bit more time if you are unsure.  If your work allows you the flexibility to work remotely, maybe consider going there and staying in a ABNB for a month or so (the longer, the better in my opinion) and ask the person to "move in".  The reason why I suggest this is that longer trips will give you a more realistic view of how you can/will engage in a day-to-day.  You won't be able to see this in 3, 1-week trips in the course of a year versus a 1, 3-week long trip.  I hope that makes sense.

 

[DaveAndAnastasia 2,079]

The K-1 process works a lot better if you can legally marry very quickly after your fiancé(e) arrives, so it's best if you're prepared to do that. In normal times where you could visit as often as you liked during the process without complications, it might not be unreasonable to assume some risk and figure even if you're not completely sure now, you ought to be by the time you're done with the process (especially when processing times are long). But these aren't normal times, and international travel is difficult and subject to restrictions that can change unpredictably.

 

Your fiancé(e) will need health insurance; it's usually easiest to get that through your employer, and marriage is a qualifying event while "your girlfriend/boyfriend moving in from overseas" is not. And the short-term options for coverage for the interim period are not good.

 

Your fiancé(e) won't be able to work, travel internationally, and in many states won't be able to drive, without EAD/AP or a green card, so you probably want to start the adjustment of status process as soon as possible, and can't do that until you marry.

 

 

 

[YueQian 22]

Purpose of the visa aside, time is one important factor here.

 

K1 is not a tourist visa that you can get within days and then come visit, it takes about a year to be approved now, and after that, only 90 days for you to "try dating". I assume your fiance doesn't have a tourist visa and has difficulty getting one, otherwise you can just try dating using that. Will this long distance relationship that you're unsure of last a year? Will you then be sure within 90 days? It just doesn't make sense to me. 

Edited December 2, 2020 by YueQian

[Mike27 0]

Yes, I understand that now. To clear things up, we met in March of 2019. But now, with COVID, we don't know when we could see each other. Haven't been able to in close to a year.

So, the point was to start it now in anticipation of having to wait a long time to get it, then spend the 6 weeks together or so to see if all factors would work out and then get married. Or, if it didn't, break things off for good. Because we don't know when we can see each other again. 

I appreciate the advice and have understood it is a more time-consuming process than I thought after reading more posts.

[SalishSea 16,900]

8 hours ago, Mike27 said:

Hello,

I just found this forum and registered. I have read through a few posts already and am getting some good information. I think the number one question I have that I haven't found an answer to yet is, 'What defines intent to marry?'

For example, I do want to get married. But, I don't want to do it without having spent at least some time together in the situation we would be in if we got married. So, my question is, is it possible to use this visa to try dating in the same situation with the goal of being married? But, if something happens and it doesn't work out, that's ok?

I appreciate any help. I can assure you it all seems fairly overwhelming as someone who is just coming into it.

Thank you!

No.  There is not a visa to "try" someone out, unfortunately.   It is a drawback of being in an international relationship.  Don't sign the petition/intent to marry statement unless you are sure; to do so is perjury.