Oh boy. Social media questions.

[mogiftney 144]

Hello. I am stressed.

 

I completely forgot about this, and I don’t know exactly how deeply they search social media stuff or when they do it. But. Our case is moving on to the NVC stage now. I just realized that my fiancée’s reddit username and her username on a website in which she sells merchandise that features her original artwork is (her first name) (my last name). These things were created a while ago, when we first started dating, and it was her way of her showing affection towards me long before we ever thought we’d be going through this process, much less what it entails. 

 

I have been searching endlessly about how she can change her username on these websites. I can’t find a way. These websites don’t allow her to change her username. We are NOT married. But I’m terrified that they may perceive us as married if they see that. I’ve heard horror stories of them denying people because they referenced each other as “hubby” or “wifey” in chat logs. I feel like this is much worse. Should I strongly encourage her to delete these accounts? One of them is a source of income for her. The other is her personal reddit account that she has had for years on which she publishes her artwork. Dear god, I do not want to push her to delete those things, they are her pride and joy, I could only imagine if I had to, but if you guys say she should, I am gonna have to put my foot down and strongly suggest she does so. I’m very nervous about this. 

[Crazy Cat 39,218]

43 minutes ago, mogiftney said:

Dear god, I do not want to push her to delete those things, they are her pride and joy, I could only imagine if I had to, but if you guys say she should, I am gonna have to put my foot down and strongly suggest she does so. I’m very nervous about this. 

I wouldn't do that.......just explain it.....ONLY IF ASKED.....

[jaysaldi 209]

Well, deleting them wouldn't solve the problem, because I think the question asks for usernames you have used, not just usernames you are currently using.

 

I guess your options are:

 

1. Change nothing, and list the usernames on the form (the honest approach)

2. Change nothing, but omit the usernames on the form (lie without coverup)

3. Delete the usernames and omit them on the form (lie with coverup)

4. Delete the usernames but list them on the form (this doesn't make any sense)

 

I think the usernames create two questions: (a) are you already married? and (b) was she contemplating marrying you right after you started dating, which could call into question her sincerity and the genuineness of the relationship and whether it's being done for immigration benefits. 

 

"I created these usernames using his last name to show affection" isn''t the most convincing answer. They might then ask has she used your last name in any other setting other than with these usernames?  Does she introduce herself to people using your last name, does she have business cards with your last name, does she get mail addressed to your last name, does she have monogrammed sweaters with your last name initial on them, etc. And they might ask you "When you aware of this and why didn't you tell her to knock if off?"

 

Is your last name really cool and better for selling things? Like if your name is "Bob Spectacular" she might say that it was a better for her to sell online calling herself "Betty Spectacular" rather than her using her real name, "Betty Diarrhea." 

 

Or she could say "I called myself Betty Spectacular on Reddit because only a crazy person would use their real name on Reddit, it's full of creeps." 

 

In short, she could argue that "I adopted his last name only for online purposes, where people customarily use pseudonyms, shortly after we started dating, NOT because I'm the second coming of Glenn Close's character in 'Fatal Attraction', but because a prudent woman preserves anonymity online and I used them as 'stage names,' if you will, and never used his name 'in real life' for any purpose."

 

Are there any other reasons they would have to conclude you're married, like was there a pagan engagement ceremony that resembled a wedding? Or any other reason they would question the genuineness of the relationship? The UK certainly isn't a high fraud country, so you've got that going for you.

 

[Illiria 980]

1 hour ago, mogiftney said:

Dear god, I do not want to push her to delete those things, they are her pride and joy, I could only imagine if I had to, but if you guys say she should, I am gonna have to put my foot down and strongly suggest she does so. I’m very nervous about this. 

Wouldn’t matter even if she did delete them - they have existed. So if she got the form asking for social media etc. Names you have to list all that have existed in the past 5 years even if they no longer exist or are used. Nothing can be completely deleted once it’s gone online. 

 

Will this be an issue I don’t know but trying to hide it (deleting or denying its existence) would only make things a thousand times worse. 

 

If she is asked she needs to be honest and explain why she did that.

 

Personally having it affect if you are eligible for a fiancé visa and having to do the spousal visa is better than ‘putting your foot down’ and having her have to give up something that means so much to her. I would see that as controlling behaviour and dump your buttocks if that were me - to be fair. 

[mogiftney 144]

1 hour ago, missileman said:

I wouldn't do that.......just explain it.....ONLY IF ASKED.....

Thanks for the advice. 

[mogiftney 144]

53 minutes ago, jaysaldi said:

Well, deleting them wouldn't solve the problem, because I think the question asks for usernames you have used, not just usernames you are currently using.

 

I guess your options are:

 

1. Change nothing, and list the usernames on the form (the honest approach)

2. Change nothing, but omit the usernames on the form (lie without coverup)

3. Delete the usernames and omit them on the form (lie with coverup)

4. Delete the usernames but list them on the form (this doesn't make any sense)

 

I think the usernames create two questions: (a) are you already married? and (b) was she contemplating marrying you right after you started dating, which could call into question her sincerity and the genuineness of the relationship and whether it's being done for immigration benefits. 

 

"I created these usernames using his last name to show affection" isn''t the most convincing answer. They might then ask has she used your last name in any other setting other than with these usernames?  Does she introduce herself to people using your last name, does she have business cards with your last name, does she get mail addressed to your last name, does she have monogrammed sweaters with your last name initial on them, etc. And they might ask you "When you aware of this and why didn't you tell her to knock if off?"

 

Is your last name really cool and better for selling things? Like if your name is "Bob Spectacular" she might say that it was a better for her to sell online calling herself "Betty Spectacular" rather than her using her real name, "Betty Diarrhea." 

 

Or she could say "I called myself Betty Spectacular on Reddit because only a crazy person would use their real name on Reddit, it's full of creeps." 

 

In short, she could argue that "I adopted his last name only for online purposes, where people customarily use pseudonyms, shortly after we started dating, NOT because I'm the second coming of Glenn Close's character in 'Fatal Attraction', but because a prudent woman preserves anonymity online and I used them as 'stage names,' if you will, and never used his name 'in real life' for any purpose."

 

Are there any other reasons they would have to conclude you're married, like was there a pagan engagement ceremony that resembled a wedding? Or any other reason they would question the genuineness of the relationship? The UK certainly isn't a high fraud country, so you've got that going for you.

 

She hasn’t used my last name in any other setting besides these two accounts. My last name is a rare surname that sounds even more English than hers, oddly enough. But it’s a surname. It’s not a word. And her surname is normal. There have been no other ceremonies whatsoever, we are in a genuine relationship and have spent a lot of time together. The only thing they could possibly use to call that into question is our age. We’re pretty young. Most people question that. Also I’m a woman, not that it’s really relevant here.

[mogiftney 144]

55 minutes ago, Illiria said:

Wouldn’t matter even if she did delete them - they have existed. So if she got the form asking for social media etc. Names you have to list all that have existed in the past 5 years even if they no longer exist or are used. Nothing can be completely deleted once it’s gone online. 

 

Will this be an issue I don’t know but trying to hide it (deleting or denying its existence) would only make things a thousand times worse. 

 

If she is asked she needs to be honest and explain why she did that.

 

Personally having it affect if you are eligible for a fiancé visa and having to do the spousal visa is better than ‘putting your foot down’ and having her have to give up something that means so much to her. I would see that as controlling behaviour and dump your buttocks if that were me - to be fair. 

Really? Us being apart for years upon years so that she can meet the income requirement in her home country so that I can marry her there, go through that long visa process, and then go through the double long spousal visa process here is worse than me putting my foot down on an important matter in our relationship over social media when we’re already halfway through this process and paid money towards this process? Whatever you say, relationship guru!

[Lemonslice 4,553]

You're overthinking this. No need to delete anything, she should disclose and explain if needed. I could call myself Mrs. Kendrick Lamar as a joke, or because I like him, or any other reason, doesn't make me married... Breathe, she'll be fine.  If asked, she can only explain the truth. Not much else to do.

 

Throwaway Reddit account could be sexy-aviator-unicorn-hunter, and they might think it's silly, but at long as there's no violence, threats, or illegal activities, would be fine also...

[Allaboutwaiting 2,500]

2 hours ago, jaysaldi said:

Is your last name really cool and better for selling things? Like if your name is "Bob Spectacular" she might say that it was a better for her to sell online calling herself "Betty Spectacular" rather than her using her real name, "Betty Diarrhea." 

This is SO funny. 😂

Had me laughing for one minute straight. 

[mogiftney 144]

38 minutes ago, Lemonslice said:

You're overthinking this. No need to delete anything, she should disclose and explain if needed. I could call myself Mrs. Kendrick Lamar as a joke, or because I like him, or any other reason, doesn't make me married... Breathe, she'll be fine.  If asked, she can only explain the truth. Not much else to do.

 

Throwaway Reddit account could be sexy-aviator-unicorn-hunter, and they might think it's silly, but at long as there's no violence, threats, or illegal activities, would be fine also...

Okay. Maybe I am overthinking things. I just have heard some horror stories about references to any marriage things. Hubby and wifey pet names, parties that look like they could be marriage ceremonies because someone was holding a bottle of champagne and there was a table with flowers behind them, etc.

 

do you know where we would be asked about social media stuff? Is it commonplace? It’s not in the DS-160, is it? I heard it was a more optional thing that they can choose to ask for if they want more proof. 

[Lemonslice 4,553]

As far as I know, everyone now has to disclose their social media user names. Can't say if it's before/during/after the interview. 

 

Very common for artists to pick a nom de plume - can't lie about it now, just be ready to explain if asked.

Edited August 18, 2019 by Lemonslice

[jaysaldi 209]

7 minutes ago, mogiftney said:

Okay. Maybe I am overthinking things. I just have heard some horror stories about references to any marriage things. Hubby and wifey pet names, parties that look like they could be marriage ceremonies because someone was holding a bottle of champagne and there was a table with flowers behind them, etc.

 

do you know where we would be asked about social media stuff? Is it commonplace? It’s not in the DS-160, is it? I heard it was a more optional thing that they can choose to ask for if they want more proof. 

It's in the DS-160. And I don't think you're overthinking things. It's a negative piece of evidence for your case, though they make decisions based on the totality of the evidence not just on something like this.  And she needs to be prepared to address it during the interview, and I think emphasizing that she only used your last name as a playful online pseudonym, including in online settings where people typically don't use their real names, is important.

[iwannaplay54 985]

4 hours ago, mogiftney said:

Hello. I am stressed.

 

I completely forgot about this, and I don’t know exactly how deeply they search social media stuff or when they do it. But. Our case is moving on to the NVC stage now. I just realized that my fiancée’s reddit username and her username on a website in which she sells merchandise that features her original artwork is (her first name) (my last name). These things were created a while ago, when we first started dating, and it was her way of her showing affection towards me long before we ever thought we’d be going through this process, much less what it entails. 

 

I have been searching endlessly about how she can change her username on these websites. I can’t find a way. These websites don’t allow her to change her username. We are NOT married. But I’m terrified that they may perceive us as married if they see that. I’ve heard horror stories of them denying people because they referenced each other as “hubby” or “wifey” in chat logs. I feel like this is much worse. Should I strongly encourage her to delete these accounts? One of them is a source of income for her. The other is her personal reddit account that she has had for years on which she publishes her artwork. Dear god, I do not want to push her to delete those things, they are her pride and joy, I could only imagine if I had to, but if you guys say she should, I am gonna have to put my foot down and strongly suggest she does so. I’m very nervous about this. 

Think

 

What possible motive (if you were already married) would you have or what gain from it to trade the (very similar time frame) spousal visa process for a K1 + AOS + all the extra time and expense of one vs the other?

 

They’re not looking for what you think they are looking for on social media.  They are looking to screen whether an immigrant is involved in or supports a (narrow) range of illegal activities that would make them inadmissible.

 

 

 

 

[mogiftney 144]

23 minutes ago, iwannaplay54 said:

Think

 

What possible motive (if you were already married) would you have or what gain from it to trade the (very similar time frame) spousal visa process for a K1 + AOS + all the extra time and expense of one vs the other?

 

They’re not looking for what you think they are looking for on social media.  They are looking to screen whether an immigrant is involved in or supports a (narrow) range of illegal activities that would make them inadmissible.

 

 

 

 

I hope you are right. Maybe the perk of coming to the US sooner? I can’t think of anything else past that. Maybe you’re right. 

[SalishSea 16,770]

5 hours ago, mogiftney said:

Hello. I am stressed.

 

I completely forgot about this, and I don’t know exactly how deeply they search social media stuff or when they do it. But. Our case is moving on to the NVC stage now. I just realized that my fiancée’s reddit username and her username on a website in which she sells merchandise that features her original artwork is (her first name) (my last name). These things were created a while ago, when we first started dating, and it was her way of her showing affection towards me long before we ever thought we’d be going through this process, much less what it entails. 

 

I have been searching endlessly about how she can change her username on these websites. I can’t find a way. These websites don’t allow her to change her username. We are NOT married. But I’m terrified that they may perceive us as married if they see that. I’ve heard horror stories of them denying people because they referenced each other as “hubby” or “wifey” in chat logs. I feel like this is much worse. Should I strongly encourage her to delete these accounts? One of them is a source of income for her. The other is her personal reddit account that she has had for years on which she publishes her artwork. Dear god, I do not want to push her to delete those things, they are her pride and joy, I could only imagine if I had to, but if you guys say she should, I am gonna have to put my foot down and strongly suggest she does so. I’m very nervous about this. 

I think you are stressing over nothing.  There has been no legal wedding or legal name change.  The circumstances of her creating the usernames were related to nothing more than affection (vs actually lying about something), and honestly, the UK is not one of the regions known for marriage-concealing immigration fraud.