My husband and I separated for a year!!! What do I do

[LolaOkhuofu 0]

1 minute ago, missileman said:

Put yourself in the shoes of the consulate officer:

 

1.  Married 4 years with only 3 total visits.

2.  Separated for a year.

3.  Very little evidence of time together and continued communication (which are the BEST evidence you can provide).

 

Does that sound like a real, bona fide marriage?    

I understand thanks

 

[dwheels76 5,461]

Okay first calm down. I am someone who knows Lagos very well and have navigated many successfully through it. Forget about tax filing changes for now. Amen all that when he gets here with SS#. You don't live together it matters not.

 

You may have deleted all you messages and pictures but what of his side. He has the same messages you do. What about IM's, text, Whatapp, phone logs, Facebook post. You need to go back to the beginning of the relation and gather a few conversations a month that shows the evolution of the relation.

 

People break up all the time. Just show your pictures, especially those with family and friends. You say he came to US also and visited. That's great. Here's a list of things to consider for evidence.

For Lagos they want to see communication, phone logs and here affidavits. You know Africa and how much family approval means EVERYTHING. Get like 2 to 4 of family and friends who have seen you together.

 

I also strongly suggest you use a relationship timeline.  It really pulls out key milestones since the relationship was so long. Even though That's your strongest evidence so no problem there.

 

1. Evidence of Communication Before and After Marriage

• Phone bills showing who called whom
• Letters
• Greeting cards
• Chat logs
• Emails / PM’s
• Delivery receipts (of gifts you send each other)

2. Evidence of Visits / Vacations / Meeting in Person

• Boarding passes
• Passport stamps
• Hotel receipts with both your names
• Vacation / honeymoon photos
• Receipts or bank statements showing remote ATM withdrawals (to show you were pulling money from that location at such time)

3. Evidence of Co-habitation During Marriage

• Birth certificates of any children born to you together
• Mortgage loan contract or lease contract with both partners’ names in it
• Utility bills with both partners’ names
• Receipts with both partners’ names in shipping/billing address
• Pictures of you two living together

4. Evidence of Joint Ownership of Assets and Shared Financial Responsibility

• Joint bank account statements
• Proof of joint credit card use
• Money transfer receipts
• Power of Attorney
• Wills (never used this)
• Utility bills
• Life insurance policy showing spouse as beneficiary
• Health insurance
• Car insurance

5. Photographic Evidence

• Photos of you two together
• Photos of you two with family (such as wedding, parties, kids’ graduation, etc.)
• Photos of you two in various locations and times

6. Evidence from Others in Support of Bona Fide Marriage

• Sworn affidavits of friends and/or family
• Letters/cards from friends and/or family

Relationship Timeline example.doc Affidavit-example.doc

Edited August 2, 2019 by dwheels76

[dwheels76 5,461]

Okay had to read again 3 visits over 4 years. You really will need that timeline to highlight. Even mention the separation. People fuss and fight and separate and break up but you are back together. And this next visit you can update you case file when you get to the NVC stage sop they can see.

 

When last have you seen each other? That's the big thing. I have known many cases where by interview over 2 years went by they haven;t seen each other but they had explanation of financial hardship, sickness, family tragedy. So keep that in mind when compiling your evidence together.

[LolaOkhuofu 0]

2 minutes ago, dwheels76 said:

Okay had to read again 3 visits over 4 years. You really will need that timeline to highlight. Even mention the separation. People fuss and fight and separate and break up but you are back together. And this next visit you can update you case file when you get to the NVC stage sop they can see.

 

When last have you seen each other? That's the big thing. I have known many cases where by interview over 2 years went by they haven;t seen each other but they had explanation of financial hardship, sickness, family tragedy. So keep that in mind when compiling your evidence together.

We last saw in August 2017. His visa expired in 2018 and when he went to reapply because of the new immigration laws and etc they denied him. So he couldn’t come all of 2018. I will be traveling there this November and every holiday I get with the school system because I am a school social worker ( I now have a full time job) So I will be going there November 2019, March 2020, and all of my summer next year. I was unable to travel earlier this year due to financial hardships(only working part time) 25  hours a week as a school social worker and paying for nursing school (RN associates 2 year program) community college out of pocket. Plus the other bills I have car..insurance..up keep etc.

[Boiler 43,434]

New immigration laws?

[LolaOkhuofu 0]

3 minutes ago, Boiler said:

New immigration laws?

U have not said anything helpful or beneficial...

[Boiler 43,434]

On VJ we try not to judge.

[LolaOkhuofu 0]

3 minutes ago, Boiler said:

On VJ we try not to judge.

Based on your comments you are judging 

1. This is Lagos 

2. Immigration laws

if you have nothing beneficial or helpful please don’t comment..simple..thanks 

[Boiler 43,434]

You may wish to review the VJ Terms of Service.

[Unlockable 7,306]

*** Friendly reminder it is against the site's TOS to tell other members not to post or comment.

 

VJ Moderation

[Carpe Vinum 2,310]

58 minutes ago, LolaOkhuofu said:

Based on your comments you are judging 

1. This is Lagos 

2. Immigration laws

if you have nothing beneficial or helpful please don’t comment..simple..thanks 

The ignore function on the site works for me when some posters get on my nerves. Good luck!

[dentsflogged 352]

3 hours ago, missileman said:

Put yourself in the shoes of the consulate officer:

 

1.  Married 4 years with only 3 total visits.

2.  Separated for a year.

3.  Very little evidence of time together and continued communication (which are the BEST evidence you can provide).

 

Does that sound like a real, bona fide marriage?    

4. Petitioner filed their taxes as "single" despite being married, probably more than once if they've been married for 4 years. 

 

IMO the OP is gonna be in for a fun time.  I obviously have no personal experience with Lagos but reading through many many threads here, seems like the best course of action is going to be for her to pack her bags ready to go live in Nigeria for a while to prove a bonafide relationship to one of the toughest consulates in the world. 

 

All that said, as someone else has suggested  - check in with the hubby and see if HE still has copies of messages/emails/photos, etc. That said, most of that is what I (and many) consider "secondary" evidence - it's really not that tough to fake a conversation or photos - it's harder to fake everyday stuff like sharing a home, sharing financial resources and such, which is why there's so much focus on financial co-mingling and shared abode. My husband and I aren't "chatty" on SMS or anything like that - mostly it's "what time will you finish work" and "can you collect milk" - not exactly riveting or a decent insight into our relationship - but you look at our bank accounts, and you see both of us depositing our pay into it, our mortgage payment coming out every month, car payments, insurance payments etc - look in our safe and you'll see wills with each of us naming the other as sole beneficiary, paperwork to show each other as the beneficiary of retirement funds, shared insurance cards and things like that.     Some of it is easy to get done without an SSN and some isn't - OP contact your financial institutions and be creative if you need to - go in and speak to people face to face if you need to so they can't just fob you off over the phone. 

I'd also recommend having something pre-prepared with information about the reason for your breakup and how things were mended - especially if you weren't communicating at all during that time, better to be pre-prepared to answer the "what happened for this year?" question than to be scrambling to explain things when asked. 

All of this said - others have said it, and I agree -  Lagos is one of, if not THE most - tough consulates in the world.  MANY couples with PLENTY of evidence are denied.  Be prepared for having to visit more often, answer lots of questions and possibly even move there for 6-12 months to be able to prove the bonafide nature of your relationship. 

Edited August 2, 2019 by dentsflogged

[Randyandyuni 2,682]

1 hour ago, LolaOkhuofu said:

Based on your comments you are judging 

1. This is Lagos 

2. Immigration laws

if you have nothing beneficial or helpful please don’t comment..simple..thanks 

I do not think he was being overly judgemental. 

 

The first is indicative of Lagos being a high fraud embassy, scrutiny is heightened 

The 2nd you mentioned new immigration laws, he was seeking clarification of those laws 

 

in addition, you filed your taxes as single, a problem that can be corrected but that adds cloudiness

lastly, it's been a 2 year separation (or at least 23 months) if you have not seen each other since August 2017

 

Possible indicators of difficulty are being presented to you, I believe they are meant to point our potential problems, not to judge you and/or your situation

Edited August 2, 2019 by Randyandyuni

[dwheels76 5,461]

1 hour ago, LolaOkhuofu said:

We last saw in August 2017. His visa expired in 2018 and when he went to reapply because of the new immigration laws and etc they denied him. So he couldn’t come all of 2018. I will be traveling there this November and every holiday I get with the school system because I am a school social worker ( I now have a full time job) So I will be going there November 2019, March 2020, and all of my summer next year. I was unable to travel earlier this year due to financial hardships(only working part time) 25  hours a week as a school social worker and paying for nursing school (RN associates 2 year program) community college out of pocket. Plus the other bills I have car..insurance..up keep etc.

The new rules for Lagos and renewing Visas isn't a new immigration law, but still it's getting many denied. You have to realize he has an American wife in US. So his ties are no longer to Nigeria. Were you married when he applied for the first one?

At least by the time of interview you will have two visits so that great. Also please be sure you meet the income guidelines. Lagos really looks at your current and your most recent taxes. So by the time you get to NVC to submit your financials 2019 taxes and your current income will need to meet the income guidelines or you will need a joint sponsor that meets the guidelines.

 

Also know Lagos is no joke whether we like it or not it's high fraud and known for it so extra scrutiny means extra eyes and work on your petition package.

Edited August 2, 2019 by dwheels76

[dwheels76 5,461]

1 hour ago, Boiler said:

New immigration laws?

https://qz.com/africa/1618935/us-cancels-dropbox-visa-interview-waiver-in-nigeria/

Nigeria accounted for over 25% of non-immigrant visas issued to Africans in 2018 alone—but that may be set to change.

The United States embassy has announced an immediate indefinite suspension of interview waivers for visa renewals for applicants in Nigeria. Known as “drop-box,” the interview waiver process allowed Nigerian applicants who met certain eligibility criteria to renew their visas by submitting their passports and supporting documents for review without going through a new in-person interview each time.

The process mainly targeted regular visitors to the US who have a history of applying for and receiving visas. One of the requirements for the interview waiver was for an applicant to have previously received a two-year visa.