I made it!

[madiartzer 41]

Crossed the border 2 weeks ago with my K1 visa. Just wondering what other people did to pass the time while their SO is at work.

Not being able to work combined with not having a car and living in a really tiny town with nothing to do has made me catch cabin fever quite quickly. 

Tired of watching movies, and TV until my fiancé comes home. I try to talk to some of my friends and family back home, but they all work too of course. Just starting to feel a bit lonely and hate being so dependent. Figured I’d come talk about it here where someone else might get it too, and may be able to offer advice.

[bakphx1 785]

Does the town have a library?  Bus service?  I’m not sure how tiny the town is. You could try the bus to get to town.  Some libraries have free activities. Running errands as well.  If transportation is a problem maybe he could take you in the morning on his way to work.  But I don’t know enough about the public transportation where you are. 

[madiartzer 41]

7 minutes ago, bakphx1 said:

Does the town have a library?  Bus service?  I’m not sure how tiny the town is. You could try the bus to get to town.  Some libraries have free activities. Running errands as well.  If transportation is a problem maybe he could take you in the morning on his way to work.  But I don’t know enough about the public transportation where you are. 

No public transportation unfortunately. And he works really early in the morning so nothing is open until a few hours later, and then we never know what time he’s off. It’s a really sticky situation, I’m probably just gonna have to stick it out.

[swalker 137]

Similar situation here for my wife! I thought she’d die of boredom this winter. She joined a book club at the library here, knitted, and even sewed together a men’s suit by hand! The book club helped her meet folks in our small town, and she’ll even ride into work with me and take the bus to neighboring towns to shop and visit others. I know it’s been really hard on her, but she’s getting some extra time for hobbies she normally wouldn’t have. 

[madiartzer 41]

1 minute ago, Roel said:

There are dozens threads with the same questions as yours and with dozens of answers. Please search the forum first before asking. Your question pops here at least once a week. 

Sorry? Thanks. I didn’t bother because I live in the middle of nowhere so figured my answers would be different than most.

[madiartzer 41]

Just now, swalker said:

Similar situation here for my wife! I thought she’d die of boredom this winter. She joined a book club at the library here, knitted, and even sewed together a men’s suit by hand! The book club helped her meet folks in our small town, and she’ll even ride into work with me and take the bus to neighboring towns to shop and visit others. I know it’s been really hard on her, but she’s getting some extra time for hobbies she normally wouldn’t have. 

A book club would totally be up my alley! I just don’t have a way of getting there. No public transportation here, and my fiancé works super early mornings so I’d be stranded for a few hours before anything opened. 

[Marieke H 2,301]

I'm not sure how bicycle-friendly your town is, but it helped me a lot to ride my bike during those first months. I explored the town, and most importantly, got out of the house. Those first months were very hard for me, but I promise you it will get better when you can start working, driving, etc. Hang in there!

[madiartzer 41]

4 minutes ago, MariekeH said:

I'm not sure how bicycle-friendly your town is, but it helped me a lot to ride my bike during those first months. I explored the town, and most importantly, got out of the house. Those first months were very hard for me, but I promise you it will get better when you can start working, driving, etc. Hang in there!

I was thinking about this actually! Maybe I’ll  look into it a little more seriously. I know this isn’t a forever thing, it definitely helps to remind myself it’s just for now. Just discouraging since I didn’t think it’d only take a few weeks for me to already feel this way, haha.

[Marieke H 2,301]

13 minutes ago, madiartzer said:

I was thinking about this actually! Maybe I’ll  look into it a little more seriously. I know this isn’t a forever thing, it definitely helps to remind myself it’s just for now. Just discouraging since I didn’t think it’d only take a few weeks for me to already feel this way, haha.

It happened pretty quickly for me too. The first few weeks were great, my parents were visiting for the wedding, we had a little honeymoon... but then my husband had to get back to work and I got very miserable. Some people struggle more than others, and those months of waiting were very hard for me. It felt like my life was on hold.

It took 6 months to get my EAD, and then everything changed so quickly. Now I'm working, meeting new people through work, and it feels like my new life has started.

You need to keep yourself occupied, and get out of the house. Find a new hobby, go for walks or bike rides, join a gym, look for activities in your area that will help you meet people. And of course you can already look into job opportunities, find out what you'd like to do, maybe take a (online) course, work on your resume, so you'll be ready by the time that EAD arrives.

And yes, it may feel like forever, but it really is only temporary. I've been here for a year now, and I couldn't be happier. :-)

[ch3john 308]

43 minutes ago, Roel said:

There are dozens threads with the same questions as yours and with dozens of answers. Please search the forum first before asking. Your question pops here at least once a week. 

Haven't seen this question asked in a while. Of course, i don't live on VJ and see every post.

What keywords would one put into the search engine to see the dozens of posts on this subject? 

[TBoneTX 43,020]

Thread is moved from the K-1 Case Progress subforum to the "Moving to the US" forum, where dozens of similar threads exist.

[madiartzer 41]

11 minutes ago, TBoneTX said:

Thread is moved from the K-1 Case Progress subforum to the "Moving to the US" forum, where dozens of similar threads exist.

Just looked and still not seeing those threads even in that forum, but thanks.

[ch3john 308]

6 minutes ago, madiartzer said:

Just looked and still not seeing those threads even in that forum, but thanks.

There's one similar on page 6 of the forum and then gave up looking for a 2nd one on page 15

[GreatDane 366]

You could drive your her to work and pick her up when she's finished? That would give you the car for some days. I think hiking and exploring the nature are good options. TV gets boring quick, especially daytime tv. Another way to pass time is volunteering at a non-profit in a position where you aren't potentially taking a job away from the economy. Food banks, etc. It's a great way to contribute to society and feel like you are doing something for its betterment. You could also try making stuff - I can do beef jerky, pickles, cider, wine, cheese, and have made curtains/whatever else in my down time. 

[Paul & Mallory 1,398]

6 hours ago, GreatDane said:

You could drive your her to work and pick her up when she's finished? That would give you the car for some days. I think hiking and exploring the nature are good options. TV gets boring quick, especially daytime tv. Another way to pass time is volunteering at a non-profit in a position where you aren't potentially taking a job away from the economy. Food banks, etc. It's a great way to contribute to society and feel like you are doing something for its betterment. You could also try making stuff - I can do beef jerky, pickles, cider, wine, cheese, and have made curtains/whatever else in my down time. 

If OP just got here a couple weeks ago on K1, they likely do not have a license in order to drive around.

 

OP - My husband is currently in the same situation. He got here mid-May, and right now, EAD is taking around 6 months, so we know we're in this for a (temporary) long haul. We live in a small town also, and on the outskirts, to make it worse, so nothing's really in walking distance from our house. I leave for work at 6am so it's too early for me to take him anywhere on my way out, too. We feel your pain!

 

He tries to plan out his days during the week, even if it's simple stuff, like general chores. That way he feels like he has a schedule and wakes up knowing what his day will bring. He likes to find projects - right now, we're planning on building a small floating deck outside in our backyard, so he's looking forward to having that to work on. He's been researching jobs in his experience field (you can't apply right now, of course, but it helps to look around locally and see what's out there). He'll have to take the full written and skills test whenever he's able to get his license, so he's been studying South Carolina driving laws and terms also, so that he'll be prepared when the time comes for that. The most productive thing, of course, is to do things that will make you that much more prepared for other things when the time comes, like applying for jobs and getting your license.

 

Take walks, even if it's just around your neighborhood. Make it a habit, something you get up and do in the morning or wind down your afternoon with. It gives you something to look forward to. Whenever I get home, unless it's raining, we try to go to the park or our local botanical gardens to get outside and get him out of the house for a while. Even when I come home from a long day of work, I try to remind myself he's been stuck inside all day and once we get out and do something together, we both feel better.

 

Do you enjoy writing? Maybe start a blog, take up a virtual book club, something along those lines. Most importantly, remember this IS temporary. My husband and I try to keep in mind that things will change once he starts working, most likely our schedules will not perfectly align. We have a lot of time together right now with him not working, and that's priceless, particularly after being apart for so long.