He doesnt want to come to US now but does not want to talk about divorce

[Hollywud52 0]

I posted earlier about an I130 situation. My husband is in Dubai. He got a new job about 3 months ago and immediately started saying he might need to "delay" coming to the US. Now he says that his family needs him, he is sending them a lot of money, they all depend on him and he will "never" move here because I and others think he married me for a green card and he doesnt like it. By the way he will go a week without even saying hello to me now. He first said "I will arrange for you to come to Dubai every couple month and when you retire (7 years) you can move here for good but I will not come to the US". So I called his bluff and said "ok". When I asked when can I come back then it's "well I am sending money to my father every other day" and a lot of other excuses. So I said ok, so you WANT to arrange for me to come visit but you CANT is that it? He said "yes". So then I offered to pay half of my ticket and he said "do you know how much it costs for you to come for even10 days" I said no, but this time we would not need a hotel for me because we are MARRIED. I could stay with you. He lives with his family. Not ideal but it would work. Then he said "'yes but you have other expenses" in other words he does not want me to come visit. Now the latest is that his Mother started crying and insisting that he marry someone there and she is looking for him a new wife! How can he afford a whole wife if he can't afford even a little of the one he has! He has never sent me any money and we have been married for a year. Here is my question, if he is not going to come here like we agreed and looks like I'm not going there, then why is it that every time I mention "divorce" he says he has not even thought of it? By the way, I am 20 years older htan him. Why will he not talk to me about divorce and just end this ? How does it benefit him to stay married to me? 

[Georgia16 2,858]

He can afford a whole wife as you say it because he is lying! 

 

What husband wouldn't want his wife to came and visit and also don't say "hello" to his wife for over a week?

 

How long have you been married? Maybe he is dragging time so he is sure to get the 10 year GC so he does not have to deal with ROC and prove anything there.

 

Ask yourself if this is really the kind of marriage you want?

[Roel 7,191]

Divorce and no regrets. That guy sounds either like an a** or a scammer. His story and explanations just sounds fishy.

[Ontarkie 13,925]

I agree with him lying and buying time to get the 10 yr card. He thinks he can string you along, get the 10 yr card come over never having to step foot inside your home. Then he can bring the 'real' wife.

Edited February 22, 2017 by Ontarkie

[Monal 0]

Think very well if he is for you or not ..., you need some one whom really care for you No matter the circumstance.  

[milimelo 4,234]

File for divorce in the US. 

[Boiler 43,622]

Can he not have more than one wife?

[Hollywud52 0]

His religion allows for up to 4 wives but he must support all equally. He gives me nothing so he cannot afford a second wife. Plus the first wife has to accept it and I dont accept it. Im trying to find out about the10 yr greencard. I thought he HAS to live with me before he can get any kind of green card???

[Georgia16 2,858]

1 minute ago, Hollywud52 said:

His religion allows for up to 4 wives but he must support all equally. He gives me nothing so he cannot afford a second wife. Plus the first wife has to accept it and I dont accept it. Im trying to find out about the10 yr greencard. I thought he HAS to live with me before he can get any kind of green card???

Well your profile says K-1 and you wrote you send a I-130 and you say you are married.

 

When married they get their GC when they arrive in the US after they have gotten their visa.

 

So because you guys have been married under two years he will get the 2-year Green card and will have to do ROC (remove conditions to get the 10 year GC) that can be done with or without you but he will have to shove proof of a real marriage. 

 

When people have been married more then 2 years the beneficiary will get the 10-year Green card when they arrive in the US.

 

And you apply for him so no matter if he leave you you are still on the hook for him.

[Georgia16 2,858]

Why don't you try and tell him you have sent USCIS a letter cancelling your process since you won't be needing the visa anymore since he won't come and you will be moving to him. See how he react. 

[Boiler 43,622]

50 minutes ago, Hollywud52 said:

His religion allows for up to 4 wives but he must support all equally. He gives me nothing so he cannot afford a second wife. Plus the first wife has to accept it and I dont accept it. Im trying to find out about the10 yr greencard. I thought he HAS to live with me before he can get any kind of green card???

I have no idea how this works, would you need to sign off before he could marry? Presumably you will not be willing to do that.

 

He certainly does not have to live with you and seemingly does not want to, he could enter after 2 years married, divorce, marry number two and then petition her.

 

Have you pulled the I 130 yet?

[NikLR 13,220]

~~moved to effects of major family changes from IR1/CR1 process and procedures~~

[andy78 178]

4 hours ago, Hollywud52 said:

His religion allows for up to 4 wives but he must support all equally. He gives me nothing so he cannot afford a second wife.

His religion requires him to "support" all equally, but that doesn't mean he does.

 

4 hours ago, Hollywud52 said:

He gives me nothing so he cannot afford a second wife.

Or, for example, he is giving everything to his second wife (or saving for the second marriage), so he is giving you nothing.

 

4 hours ago, Hollywud52 said:

Plus the first wife has to accept it and I dont accept it.

No. That depends on the laws of the country in which he lives. There are many interpretations. And even if the first wife has to accept, that doesn't mean he will actually tell you about it and ask if you accept. Especially because bigamy is illegal in the US, and he might lose his Green Card if USCIS finds out he is married to more than one person at the same time.

 

 

The best advice I can give is divorce right away and move on.

 

 

Edited February 22, 2017 by andy78

[ckurt 23]

I think he is using you to get his GC. I am sorry but no loving husband would refuse to see his wife. I suggest you get a divorce and move on

[neilsqueen 433]

If a man really loves a woman, he will move mountains to be with her.  Please think long and hard about your situation and follow what your gut tells you.  Don't let anyone make a fool of you!  You are worthy of the love of a real man who loves you and wants to spend his life with.  When real love hits, you will know it.  No doubts.  I pray that you will find peace and make the best decision that protects your heart.