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Alma27

Abused wife applied for AOS, I'm lost plz help me!

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Filed: Timeline

I am in a very complicated sitution, i am helpless and hopeless and need your advice please

I came to the US as a visitor on a B2 visa, had no intent to marry and stay here but i met someone, fell in love, got married after 4 months of dating/ 1 month before my I 94 expired. Everything was ok at first, then he started becoming very controlling and jealous. He would lock me up in the bedroom all day long and push me to the floor or on the bed if i tried to leave. Before i knew it, it got worse, he started threatening to kill me and himself and the physical abuse got bad. I called the police the first time because i was seriously afraid for my life. He got arrested, i got a 10 day restraining order that he broke (but i didn't report that), he came home begging for my forgiveness. I decided to give him another chance, i thought we could make it work, so we stayed together(have been married for 4 months now) and i recently sent forms I130, I485 and I864 (5 days ago, after 3 months of overstay). Then two days ago, my husband got drunk and started a fight with me over jealousy that was based on absolutely nothing. He choked me, pushed me to the ground in the streets, slapped me, pushed me on a paddle i got all drenched, my laptop got broken...etc etc. I told him i was going to call the police if he doesn't stop so he stopped out of fear. we go back home, he wakes me up at 5am and tries to cuddle with me, i refuse, i try to get out of bed then he grabs me, throws me on the bed and puts the comforter on my face as if he wants to smother me (i believe that he was trying to scare me so that i do as he says). The roommates heard both of us screaming and they called the police. he's in jail now and will probably be charged for attempted murder! (that's what the public defendant told me)! He wasn't trying to kill me, just to scare me/ threaten me, but they interpreted the choking and smothering as an attempt to murder.

I don't know what to do now, I still love him after all he did to me. Also, i don't know what is going to happen with my case, i guess i will go on with the process (biometrics, EAD etc) but when it comes time for the interview, my husband will probably be in prison or refuse to go with me out of revenge. I was told that i could apply for VAWA, but i also heard that the percentage of accepted cases was low and i don t know if i have enough evidence of abuse to help the potential case.

I am lost, please help me.

Edited by Alma27
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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Peru
Timeline

To be completly honest with you, the man is an abuser and needs to go for professional help and if I were you, I would stay away from him until he gets help and then PROVES to you that he is a changed man. That means he has 6 months or more or NO impulsive acts. You sound like you will take him back and I sincerely hope this is not the case. This type of abuse only gets more violent( without help). He needs to do jail time. Please do not make excuses for him. Locking you up in the bedroom, is that really the life you want to live? Just my 2 cents worth. I DO hope, you and he will seek help and make your marriage work and yes, you also need help because now, you are enabling him to act this way.

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Filed: Country: Philippines
Timeline

I am in a very complicated sitution, i am helpless and hopeless and need your advice please

I came to the US as a visitor on a B2 visa, had no intent to marry and stay here but i met someone, fell in love, got married after 4 months of dating/ 1 month before my I 94 expired. Everything was ok at first, then he started becoming very controlling and jealous. He would lock me up in the bedroom all day long and push me to the floor or on the bed if i tried to leave. Before i knew it, it got worse, he started threatening to kill me and himself and the physical abuse got bad. I called the police the first time because i was seriously afraid for my life. He got arrested, i got a 10 day restraining order that he broke (but i didn't report that), he came home begging for my forgiveness. I decided to give him another chance, i thought we could make it work, so we stayed together(have been married for 4 months now) and i recently sent forms I130, I485 and I864 (5 days ago, after 3 months of overstay). Then two days ago, my husband got drunk and started a fight with me over jealousy that was based on absolutely nothing. He choked me, pushed me to the ground in the streets, slapped me, pushed me on a paddle i got all drenched, my laptop got broken...etc etc. I told him i was going to call the police if he doesn't stop so he stopped out of fear. we go back home, he wakes me up at 5am and tries to cuddle with me, i refuse, i try to get out of bed then he grabs me, throws me on the bed and puts the comforter on my face as if he wants to smother me (i believe that he was trying to scare me so that i do as he says). The roommates heard both of us screaming and they called the police. he's in jail now and will probably be charged for attempted murder! (that's what the public defendant told me)! He wasn't trying to kill me, just to scare me/ threaten me, but they interpreted the choking and smothering as an attempt to murder.

I don't know what to do now, I still love him after all he did to me. Also, i don't know what is going to happen with my case, i guess i will go on with the process (biometrics, EAD etc) but when it comes time for the interview, my husband will probably be in prison or refuse to go with me out of revenge. I was told that i could apply for VAWA, but i also heard that the percentage of accepted cases was low and i don t know if i have enough evidence of abuse to help the potential case.

I am lost, please help me.

Wow! Being arrested twice after domestic violence/disturbance calls to the police is a cart full of evidence for a VAWA case. The DA is free to make any charges related to the case as they see fit, it sounds like assault or assault and battery -- yet the DA can charge attempted murder and offer a plea to lesser charges.

Edited by Leatherneck

"The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!" - Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945.

"Retreat hell! We just got here!"

CAPT. LLOYD WILLIAMS, USMC

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Filed: Other Country: Philippines
Timeline

Talk to a lawyer?

Still loving someone that is abusive to you - hmm, how about therapy?

Not sure where you are from but only having been here a few months, and that started as a tourist visa so you intended to head home after your vacation, why not head home?

Hopefully one of your thoughts is not to sit around and wait for him...

Hank

"Chance Favors The Prepared Mind"

 

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“LET’S GO BRANDON!”

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Philippines
Timeline

Verbal Abuse, Slapping are Domestic Charges. Very Enforceable by Law and an Arrest is Warranted.

Does this apply: Forced Sex against your free Will. That is Rape. Married or Not.

The Choking/Smothering is an Act of Attempted Murder. There are RAGE ISSUES and your Lucky to be alive to write this Post.

I seen good advice by Leatherneck so I won't repeat that.

This Case of Law Deserves NO Reconciliation. It's done. This is Over. I hope you have a New Restaining Order in Place.

As far as staying in the US. Get a Attorney or ask the DA to help you for your testimony for a Conviction of this Offender. ( I forsee, USCIS Involvement )

Reading your Event sickens me.

TIM/MAV K1-JOURNEY
3/27/2007....We first met on myspace
1/30/10 ......My Honey proposed
8/15/10 ......He visit Philippines(2wks) & met my family
12/17/10 ....USCIS received the Filed I-129F for K1-visa
12/21/10 ....Received hard copy,NOA1
5/25/11.......Received RFE
6/09/11.......NOA2 approved
12/07/11.....Visa fee paid at BPI

6/11/13.......2nd visa fee payment
7/10-11/13.. Medical Exam completed@St.Lukes Clinic
1/15-16/14.. 2nd Medical exam updated
1/21/14...... k1 interview-Visa Approved
.....................................................................
8/29/14...... Submitted AOS application
10/03/14.....Biometrics
01/07/15.....Received my EAD card

01/31/15..... I got my SSN from the mail

04/20/15......AOS Interview - Approved :star:

4/24/15 .......Got the Driving Permit Card

4/30/15 .......Green Card Received :) (Exp.4/20/17)

http://youtu.be/BVf45EcdFwQ

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Filed: Timeline

Leatherneck : I will take your advice, thank you so much.

TIM/MAV : Thank you so much for your advice. Can you please explain the 'USCIS involvement' part as i didn't understand. How is that possible? Your help is very appreciated.

Hank_Amy Vanessa&Tony : I am from a country where you don't have the right to express any political views that are against the current dictatorship regime or criticize it. I thought i was going to stay in the US for sure so I started expressing myself very clearly through social media. A lot of people have been arrested and imprisoned over there (some have been tortured)in the past year for doing the same and if I go back home I expect the same to happen to me and that scares me even more than my abusive husband.

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Filed: Country: Philippines
Timeline

Verbal Abuse, Slapping are Domestic Charges. Very Enforceable by Law and an Arrest is Warranted.

Does this apply: Forced Sex against your free Will. That is Rape. Married or Not.

The Choking/Smothering is an Act of Attempted Murder. There are RAGE ISSUES and your Lucky to be alive to write this Post.

I seen good advice by Leatherneck so I won't repeat that.

This Case of Law Deserves NO Reconciliation. It's done. This is Over. I hope you have a New Restaining Order in Place.

As far as staying in the US. Get a Attorney or ask the DA to help you for your testimony for a Conviction of this Offender. ( I forsee, USCIS Involvement )

Reading your Event sickens me.

With two recent arrests on the husbands record and the husband has gone from;

"He would lock me up in the bedroom all day long and push me to the floor or on the bed if i tried to leave."

"Before i knew it, it got worse, he started threatening to kill me and himself and the physical abuse got bad."

ratcheted up to,

"He choked me, pushed me to the ground in the streets, slapped me, pushed me on a paddle i got all drenched, my laptop got broken...etc etc."

then doubled down to,

"...he grabs me, throws me on the bed and puts the comforter on my face as if he wants to smother me."

This guy has some serious control and angry management issues. The DA will want to see him cool his heels in the county lock-up or for a longer taxpayer paid vacation in state prison.

"my husband will probably be in prison or refuse to go with me out of revenge. How you could you trust him after your recent experience? Would you trust a cute dog that bit you, more than once?

Edited by Leatherneck

"The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!" - Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945.

"Retreat hell! We just got here!"

CAPT. LLOYD WILLIAMS, USMC

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Filed: Timeline

With two recent arrests on the husbands record and the husband has gone from;

"He would lock me up in the bedroom all day long and push me to the floor or on the bed if i tried to leave."

"Before i knew it, it got worse, he started threatening to kill me and himself and the physical abuse got bad."

ratcheted up to,

"He choked me, pushed me to the ground in the streets, slapped me, pushed me on a paddle i got all drenched, my laptop got broken...etc etc."

then doubled down to,

"...he grabs me, throws me on the bed and puts the comforter on my face as if he wants to smother me."

This guy has some serious control and angry management issues. The DA will want to see him cool his heels in the county lock-up or for a longer taxpayer paid vacation in state prison.

"my husband will probably be in prison or refuse to go with me out of revenge. How you could you trust him after your recent experience? Would you trust a cute dog that bit you, more than once?

You are absolutely right, it had gone from bad to worse and no, i don't trust him anymore. I am realizing I need to run away from him asap.

I will apply for VAWA but i wonder if it's possible to do so now that i've already applied for adjustement of status with the USCIS? Should I continue the process for AOS and apply for VAWA simultaneously?

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Filed: AOS (pnd) Country: Pakistan
Timeline

Under WAVA nothing matters except the fact of abuse and your request for protection. they will not even tell your spouse you applied under WAVA.

It's protected under privacy laws. Only your testimony matters and, if you have at least one police report against your husband it will be the

sufficient evidence.

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Filed: FB-1 Visa Country: Venezuela
Timeline

Not an easy position to be in. You have to decide between domestic abuse vs. torture by an autocratic regime. The main difference is that in the US you may have options (VAWA as some members have mentioned). In your particular case, I understand you for not wanting to return to your country.

I have no useful advice. Only this:

1- Leave that guy now

2- Talk to a good lawyer

F1 Discussion | F1 Poll | F1 Watch List

F1 ~ PD: 08SEP06 ~ Current! cool.png ~ AOS ~ Green Card!

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Filed: Country: Philippines
Timeline

Not an easy position to be in. You have to decide between domestic abuse vs. torture by an autocratic regime. The main difference is that in the US you may have options (VAWA as some members have mentioned). In your particular case, I understand you for not wanting to return to your country.

I have no useful advice. Only this:

1- Leave that guy now

2- Talk to a good lawyer

That is great useful advice, in this case.

"The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!" - Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945.

"Retreat hell! We just got here!"

CAPT. LLOYD WILLIAMS, USMC

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Ireland
Timeline

***** Moving from AOS from Work... to Effects of Major Changes forum, as our VAWA experts reside there *****

Bye: Penguin

Me: Irish/ Swiss citizen, and now naturalised US citizen. Husband: USC; twin babies born Feb 08 in Ireland and a daughter in Feb 2010 in Arkansas who are all joint Irish/ USC. Did DCF (IR1) in 6 weeks via the Dublin, Ireland embassy and now living in Arkansas.

mod penguin.jpg

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if you wanna stay you can apply for vawa you seem to have tons of evidence. girl, this man has serious mental issues. if you love your life and if you love the people who care about you dont ever go near him again

148280zkcv79ffi3.gifDeeDee & Sam 426064ng1n3ghbqw.gif

766837489_784932.gif


from filling I129F to POE- exactly 6 months


for k1 steps and dates check my timeline
AOS approved took 7 months you can chack my timeline for details

ROC

October 6th- mailed package

as1cJVfNw2k0710MTMybHN8MDQyMTdqc3xXZVwnd

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