Abused wife applied for AOS, I'm lost plz help me!

[Peter_Pan 661]

@ Symply_Me, drop it. You are not the person to pass judgements, especially after your own immoral story.

@O.P. Get professional help, aka a laywer and a psychologist. If the petition for ROC because of abuse fails, ask for Asylum. Forums are great, but take everything with a pinch of salt. Your husband is insane, and, while I know in your culture wife beating isn't really frowned upon (I am guessing you are Iranian), such is not the case in any normal society.

[YupYup 4]

@ Symply_Me, drop it. You are not the person to pass judgements, especially after your own immoral story.

@O.P. Get professional help, aka a laywer and a psychologist. If the petition for ROC because of abuse fails, ask for Asylum. Forums are great, but take everything with a pinch of salt. Your husband is insane, and, while I know in your culture wife beating isn't really frowned upon (I am guessing you are Iranian), such is not the case in any normal society.

whatever.

Edited March 3, 2012 by Symply_Me

[YupYup 4]

I'm over this. exactly, I did adjust my status on VWP. did I have the intent? No! so that's not called immigration fraud. simply stupid.

you ppl judge! so can I. I deleted that comment, because I send him a PM! none of your buisness!

[andy desai 3]

1) there is no need for you to go anywhere

2) divorce him

3) you are in America. you are in a country where freedom is the centerpeice of the constitution. Grow some confidence in you and kick his ####. you are not supposed to be treated like that

4) get a nice job, educate yourself and fight for you livelihood.

5) it is good that he is jaiL. serves his right. and stop thinking about him.

start over. its never too late. easy said then done. but you have to do what you have to do. its not complicated anymore. things will be more complicated if you show inconfidence and dependecy on him. it may be tough in the beginning but if you educate yourself, you will find work and this will grow a new sense of confidence in you. i am sure from other vj'ers you will find out the procedure to get a greencard and so on. it is possible to get a greencard based on certain conditions. try to hire a lawyer first. sue him. and use some of his resources for your own good and develop yourself. you need to be tough. and never ever let someone do this to you again. because this is not why you came to america. America has some of the best laws which protect women from this kind of abuse and thats the reason why he is in jail. think from your head not from you heart.

[andy desai 3]

yup yup and culin h

cut it out you two! try to help the op.... its not about you on this forum. if you can try just try to assist.

[Pinoylover 6]

Sorry to hear what has happen to you on this but a lot of people on here are right! Like someone already said your in America already! get a divorce from him go on and finish what you started on your papers. You will find love in the future someone who will love you the way you want to be loved. Last of my 2 cents is A man who hits a woman isn't a man but a coward he will find out what it's like to be a woman in prison! Good luck and be happy!

[rlogan 2,036]

I am in a very complicated sitution,

Nothing complicated here at all. If you stay with him, he'll probably kill you.

[bigdog 376]

Stay away form him, move, go to immigration file and stay in US, get an attorney file for a divorce. Get some help emotionally and physically to survive this. Make ourself #1, get help from a womens or community groups as it appears you want to stay. If he shows up have him arrested immediately before you are dead. Do not be a victim.

Edited March 3, 2012 by bigdog

[InHisTime 110]

Friend, hope you bear in mind that in the eyes of God -- we are all very precious to HIM. There is no condemnation in the kingdom of God. We all fall short -- all of us have sinned, so please try not to pass judgment to anyone no matter who they / we are. Only God can judge us as HE is our creator and savior. Please be well and stay cool ! If we could help someone out of his / her bad situation that would be a blessing. Take care and God bless you !

@Alma27, sorry about your situation -- I know everything happened for a reason. I hope you listened to the very good advices of our VJs. Please protect yourself by staying away from him. Thank God that you are still alive. Hope you find a good lawyer to help you out and get your GC. Hope next time you should be very careful. Try to live well and always pray to God to guide you in all your challenges. God bless you!

[Kathryn41 3,205]

The OP has asked for your advice, not your judgments on her situation. Visa Journey is meant to be a supportive and instructive forum. If you are not able to contribute with useful and constructive advice, then do not participate in this thread. A number of inappropriate judgmental comments have been removed.

It is also a TOS violation to make personal attacks and insults against other VJ members. An additional number of posts violating this TOS, along with a few posts quoting same, have been removed. If there are any further comments like these, either judgmental or insulting, they too will be removed and the poster thread-banned from participating in this discussion.

Please keep the discussion on track and do not derail it with discussion unrelated to the OP's topic.

The OP is here legally and is legally allowed to request AOS as she did not enter the country with the intention to stay, but met someone while here and got married. Unfortunately, he has turned out to be abusive, and she does have the right to file a VAWA application. It is exactly for these circumstances that VAWA was created. From what she has said, she does have sufficient evidence and it would be the best course of action for her to follow. Individual judgmental 'interpretations' otherwise are inappropriate and against the spirit of Visa Journey.

The acceptable parts of two posts containing a quote of a removed post are returned to the thread below.

Laure&Colin wrote Today, 11:42 AM

To the OP: get a restraining order, file for divorce, contact a lawyer if you can afford one regarding WAVA. I think that with several police reports and attempted murder charges against your husband, it should really be approved.

Friend, hope you bear in mind that in the eyes of God -- we are all very precious to HIM. There is no condemnation in the kingdom of God. We all fall short -- all of us have sinned, so please try not to pass judgment to anyone no matter who they / we are. Only God can judge us as HE is our creator and savior. Please be well and stay cool ! If we could help someone out of his / her bad situation that would be a blessing. Take care and God bless you !

Edited March 3, 2012 by Kathryn41

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Second warning - you are not here to 'judge' the OP's situation. Additional posts making judgments and unwarranted speculations have been removed. Again, if you have no constructive advice for the OP, then do not participate in this thread. Any further posters who ignore this warning will be thread-banned.

[Shoot Em Straight 385]

Katheryn your first warning came before I posted, while i was writing...sorry for this

I honestly did not know I could not voice my opinion that I dont believe the OP is real.

There was no malice in my post towards her at all or judgement. If you read what I wrote..I was not judging her, I was questioning the big holes in her story by the time frame she wrote in her own words. Never did I say anything about her personally.

In fact I conveyed my honest feelings that if it is true I hope she gets the help she needs. I remain this way

Also if all the posts must stick to only constructive advice then maybe mine did not fall under this rule.

[LIFE'SJOURNEY 970]

The OP has asked for your advice, not your judgments on her situation. Visa Journey is meant to be a supportive and instructive forum. If you are not able to contribute with useful and constructive advice, then do not participate in this thread. A number of inappropriate judgmental comments have been removed.

It is also a TOS violation to make personal attacks and insults against other VJ members. An additional number of posts violating this TOS, along with a few posts quoting same, have been removed. If there are any further comments like these, either judgmental or insulting, they too will be removed and the poster thread-banned from participating in this discussion.

Please keep the discussion on track and do not derail it with discussion unrelated to the OP's topic.

The OP is here legally and is legally allowed to request AOS as she did not enter the country with the intention to stay, but met someone while here and got married. Unfortunately,

he has turned out to be abusive

, and she does have the right to file a VAWA application. It is exactly for these circumstances that VAWA was created. From what she has said, she does have sufficient evidence and it would be the best course of action for her to follow. Individual judgmental 'interpretations' otherwise are inappropriate and against the spirit of Visa Journey.

The acceptable parts of two posts containing a quote of a removed post are returned to the thread below.

Is that not judging or isn't that your personal opinion? BTW the 1 was a mistake.

[mari&Ryan 93]

I realized that the only ways to be able to participate and don't get my post removed are those:

- No participate or,

- this , , , , .

Sad, very sad.

Edited March 4, 2012 by mari&Ryan

[Kathryn41 3,205]

Is that not judging or isn't that your personal opinion? BTW the 1 was a mistake.

It is neither judging nor a personal opinion. It is a statement from the information presented by the OP:

he started threatening to kill me and himself and the physical abuse got bad. I called the police the first time because i was seriously afraid for my life. He got arrested, i got a 10 day restraining order

i try to get out of bed then he grabs me, throws me on the bed and puts the comforter on my face as if he wants to smother me (i believe that he was trying to scare me so that i do as he says). The roommates heard both of us screaming and they called the police. he's in jail now and will probably be charged for attempted murder! (that's what the public defendant told me)

The police found enough evidence to place him on a 10 day restraining order the first time, and when the roommates called the second time, to arrest him for attempted murder. While police do make mistakes, it is nonetheless a reasonable statement based upon the evidence presented that the man is abusive.

Edited March 4, 2012 by Kathryn41