bird&bear

They finally charged my credit card at about 6am PDT on 3/14, but who knows how much time actually elapsed between them having our petition in hand and then charging the card. 
 
Still no notification, though... Maybe it's because I put my cover letter on top of my enotification form? 😭

Hi @Desbaez! I'm in the same boat--just sent the i-130 off last week.
 
We've both got a long wait ahead of us (as adil-rafa said, a year or more probably) so lots of time to prepare. I've been studying/prepping using the NVC guides here and here. They appear to pretty much list everything you will likely need, including tax transcripts for the past 3 years, info about the DS-260 and DS-261, and info about the i-864. They are super super comprehensive!
 
I would start by figuring out which version of the i-864 you will need, and review/pre-fill it out so you know what information and documents you will need at the NVC stage. Same goes for the DS-260, since the guide says it can take up to an hour to complete. At least look at them, so you can gather any info you will need later, now. Use the above guides to at least start making a list of what you need and when you should request for it.
 
I put together a spreadsheet for myself, so I know what I need, what I already have, and when I should request other things. I have a poor memory, so things like these help me stay organized over the looooong months ahead.
 
Good luck!

You are right, Today is a good day 😁

It should be soon! 😊 Ours was delivered last Thursday in the morning, so it took 3 business days to send us the notice. Or do they work over the weekends? 🤔 But in any case, it should be very very soon. Good luck to you too!

Yes -- let's wait to react until things become clear.
Not all asylum cases are frivolous (e.g., many Venezuelans), and please trust that USCIS isn't granting asylum willy-nilly.  The successful applicants are those who are proving their cases with solid, thorough documentation.

I need to stay away from this thread--it's killing me waiting for our NOA1! 
 
UPS delivered on the 8th... so it should be soon, right? Hah! It's only been like 3 days... How am I going to survive the next 8+ months? 😅
 
Good luck, everybody!

Hi! I believe that they look at Total Income for 1040 and 1040A, and Adjusted Gross Income for 1040EZ.
 
From the instructions for i-864:
 
 
https://www.uscis.gov/i-864
 
However, please take a look at the instructions and the form yourself to be sure.

We just got the receipt number and our case will be processed in Texas. Now we will wait

My guess, is that they won't care much about the deductions. I might be wrong, but I think the CO cares more about what actually goes into his bank account month by month rather than what he can get back once a year.

This process requires a GREAT deal of knowledge, planning, time, PATIENCE, and money.  We have all been there.....Staying busy helps.....good luck and hang in there.....

Hey folks,
I'm just in a doldrums phase of this process. Has anyone else gone through great emotional difficulty while waiting? It's not exactly the same as missing her, but more like... it feels like my heart is in a freezer just waiting to grow. It's hard to feel like my life can truly get going until we are together, so its like months and months of just... constriction. At least sometimes
 
But anyway this isn't just about me. I wanted to make a forum where we can go for support if we need. Hope everyone is well and we'll get through it!

Hi! 
 
We sent our i-130 package on 3/7. 
UPS delivered on 3/8.
Now just waiting for NOA1. 
 
Thanks for creating this thread! 

Quite normal that lower level staff do not know how the system works, kick it upstairs.

I can totally relate to this...I'm the USC and my husband is from a big, world class city (pop. 6+ million)...now we live in a city that has about pop. 2 million and my husband is extremely frustrated with not having the same options he had in a large city: lack of reliable public transit, the fact that driving was always a choice and not a obligation, lack of cultural events and places...not to mention leaving behind his wonderful family. I actually used to live abroad with him in his home city and we both loved it here but had to leave for opportunity reasons due to my husband's circumstances (Russia has issues right now, heh.) Thankfully, we are considering moving on from here to a bigger city once we finish up our own business in this town, but we're still stuck here for 1+ more year...then we're looking into more international big cities here in the US.
 
It sounds like the main reason your husband wants to stay is to be near his family. That is understandable but on the other hand, you are his family too and your happiness matters. Plus, you left your family and home country behind...that's a big sacrifice. I hope your husband can see if from your perspective and you can both work through it. Everyone else has given great advice so far...you're definitely not alone in feeling homesick or culture shock, it's extremely common with international couples...especially if it is a move from a big international city to a mid-sized or small American town. Hugs!

Have you tried to sit down with him and look him in the eyes and explain that you left everything to move to him so you could be together that maybe he should give a little and move 30 min away or whatever? It’s a two way street here! It can’t only be you! He will have to compromise also.

Finally, my visa was approved today! Thank you Jesus!

OP, relax. It’s not as hard as people want you to think. We had also never lived together, had no assets or property together. We didn’t have a joint bank account. Denmark is not a high fraud country and the genuineness of your marriage won’t be under much scrutiny, if at all. Stop reading threads from people going through African or Middle East embassies who have an uphill struggle. They do have to send tons of evidence but we Western Europeans have it much easier as the stance is taken that there is no economic advantage for us to marry someone purely to be able to immigrate to the USA. In many  cases, we come from a better standard of living already. I certainly had better job security (UK is not an “at will” state!), more vacation and paid sick time, cheaper healthcare,  worked fewer hours and had better retirement prospects in the UK than I do here. 
 
One thing I will say - you are never too young for a will. Accidents happen at any age. Doesn’t have to be fancy and it’s not just for people with lots of money. Our wills are very simple - they just say “sell everything and donate the proceeds to xxx charity” and they give instructions on how we want to be buried and where. 
 
Focus on evidence of time spent together. Ditch the affidavits. They are not worth the paper they are written on in your case. Copies of boarding passes, passport stamps, his I-94 record (can be printed from the CBP website), some photos, cards sent to both of you as couple (Christmas cards, anniversary cards), invitations sent to both of you as a couple.
 
Here’s what we sent:
 
- a couple of photos from each year we have been together taken at different times of the year (much better to send 3 photos a year than 20 photos from the same day)
- one wedding photo
- copy of my I-94 records
- statement from my employer saying my husband was my emergency contact and beneficiary of my employer life insurance 
- copies of messages between us over time (not lovey dovey ones but ones where we discussed things that married couples discuss such as what color curtains to buy, where to spend thanksgiving, what to buy my mother for her birthday, my sister’s pregnancy and baby, work, money, bills, etc also a disagreement we had and how we resolved it - no need to send pages and pages of “I love you” and heart emojis)
- a copy of my hospital record where the surgeon wrote “I spoke to her husband in the USA by telephone and explained that”...)
- a few wedding congratulatory cards 
- a copy of the police report from a very minor traffic accident we were involved in where the officer wrote “Mr H was leaving the parking lot of the apartment complex where he lives. His wife J was in the front passenger seat”
 
We did not send photos of us with family members - my mother didn’t even meet my husband for the first time until we had been married over 3 years and I had been living here in the US for 18 months. We didn’t send joint bank account or credit card stuff. We didn’t have that. No affidavits. We have no children. We had never lived together. We were approved without an RFE. 
 
 

Thought about it for some time before deciding to post. You've received mostly appropriate advice as to the consequences of what you propose.
 
What I will say is this:
 
I lived in the US as an undocumented (out of status) immigrant for a little over a decade. I do not recommend it. Our situation was different in that my wife and I wanted to file for AoS but could not, for reasons that aren't really germane here. The end result was that I had a choice on whether to remain here with her and our children, or return to the UK and face an uncertain future as to when I could see her and them again. It was entirely my choice to remain here; my wife did not coerce me in any way. I had my eyes open going into it.
 
That said, being a non-person in the US is not enjoyable. No ID, no driver's license (back then anyway; these days you can in some immigrant-friendly states like NY and CA), no ability to legally work. Were it not for the fact that you can see your reflection in the mirror, you essentially do not exist. And you go to great pains to ensure that people don't pay any great attention to you, because you don't want them to notice you and start asking questions. So I kept my head down and essentially became afraid of my own shadow.
 
Living in that kind of fear is a singular experience. Is this the day ICE to going to catch up to me? A friend of a friend of a friend says there was an ICE raid at some businesses a couple of towns over this morning, is today the day they will come and get me? There were times where it made me physically ill. And don't even get me started on being able to hold a modicum of self-respect for yourself as that's going on.
 
This is what you would voluntarily subject someone you purport to care for to? From reading your replies I am going to draw the conclusion that you do not love her. Care for her a great deal? Perhaps. But not love. If it were love you would have signed your soul away to be with her and damn the consequences. So, if there is any part of you that does care for her, either get fully on board or let her go. This half-in half-out bullshit is not fair on her or you, but she is the one that's uprooted her life to come here for you. So if you cannot commit to filing for her AoS and letting her begin to have a normal life here (and coming from Ukraine it's going to take some time to adjust to US culture), let her know that it's time for you both to move on (unsure if you're married yet, so divorce may or may not be necessary). There is enough cruelty in this world; you should not aim to add to it.

2 years and 3 months ago, we started our immigration journey by submitting our application for fiancee visa. Today, we received the Green Card. If I learned something along the way, it is how to be patient and endure all curved balls life throws at us. By no means, it was the easy time of our lives. However, I am grateful for every single hardship we had to overcome together for what a great test of endurance it was and how much it strengthened our relationship. And of course, the VisaJourney forum has remained a great source of wisdom and emotional support throughout the process. 
Hang in there, you can do that!

I love reading all of your heartfelt expressions of frustration with this long process.  I haven't met anyone here on VJ but I can sense a connection through your words.  I can relate and empathize and that makes a world of difference.  Thank you everyone, please know that your words comfort me, to know that others feel much the same way as I do, and as my husband does.  We all cope with this long wait to be together in different ways, but to know that there is an ending that will someday bring us together, whether in the US or some other country, helps so much to allay the doubts and fears and increase the patience that we all need to get through it.  Thank God for VJ and this very supportive community!  It has helped so much to check on how everyone is doing, offer a bit of advice to the newbies, and to know that we are together in this fight for love.  Thanks again to all of you!  And all the best wherever you are in this journey.

I scanned the police certificate request, and my email to the nzvetting email and then uploaded that to CEAC as proof that I’d applied for it. They accepted that with no issues 😊

I'm back in England for two weeks. I've only been here 7 hours and I'm itching to go back home to California, to my husband, my job, my new little life already! 
I guess there is just no pleasing me

Try to stay positive. Imagine English is not your first language and you end up in a country where everybody (ok not everybody) speaks better English then you do. Since you don't have this issue with talking, grammar etc I would say try to embrace your accent. They are just curious, or it can be used as a conversation starter if they ask. Be proud where you came from, do not feel uncomfortable. Since your English is your native language, you can tell if they are just mean or curious. Even I can tell :)))) Usually it happens at restaurants, or on the bus, or at the grocery store. Btw have a funny story. I was out shopping some stuff and was on the phone because I didn't remember the name of the stuff I was asked to buy (who needs to write it down, right? :))) ), and while walking between the aisles I was reading out loud the directory of the aisles and after I hung up the phone a person behind me said please please keep talking, love your accent. First I was shocked, but get over it pretty fast, laughed a bit and we talked for like 5-10 minutes about the USA, my country, how I like  it here, how is that different from home, etc etc . I think I love this part, because back home I never talked with anybody waiting in line, or while shopping.
 
And yeah, holidays are a bit special. I never imagined saying that. I am here for 6 months now, never been homesick, but around Christmas I missed my family. This was my first Christmas when I didn't go home to celebrate Christmas with them.  BUUUUT now I have a new family, so I was concentrating on it, trying to find new traditions, embracing what I can.
 
Please don't feel blue, try to go out as much as you can, maybe find some meetups (Book clubs, ESL, crafts, etc, usually the public libraries has a lot of these things), or meetup.com),  you are interested in in the new year or volunteer, try to meet people, even if you don't become friends.

I’m also from the UK and have been here 2 years 10 days now. It took almost 2 years to feel that this was home. I’m in the Pacific Northwest which is similar to the UK in climate and other things. But it was still very hard and I visited over 40 times before I moved. No one ever listens when I say visiting here is not the same as living here. But I am proof of that. I find Christmas particularly hard. It’s just not the same. 
 
What helped me was my work and also getting into into a routine of things I like to do. Things that suit me. I leave for work at 4.30 am every morning and drive for almost an hour. I listen to a radio show that I found by accident and really enjoyed. I’m now at the stage where I can’t imagine not listening to it every morning. I went back to England for the first time in November. I’d been here almost 2 years by then and I actually missed things from here - including my radio show. Accept that there are some things you will never like. Nowhere’s perfect. Even the UK (although it’s close to perfect, I know 😉). Make new memories with your husband here but keep your old memories of the UK somewhere close by so that you can relive them from time to time. I have the iPlayer app for BBC radio on my iPhone and listen to “I’m Sorry I Haven’t A Clue” from time to time when I need a burst of British wit and satire. 
 
I’m not the kind of person who feels they will die if they can’t find Bisto or Walkers crisps here. I’m in an ex-pats Facebook group and people there make me feel sorry for them that they spend $100 and more having pork pies and sausage rolls sent here. I’ve lived in China - if they think the food is “too different” here, they’d never have lasted in China. I’ve given up trying to like Christmas here. And I don’t feel bad about it. Just as I don’t feel bad for not liking cauliflower or jazz music. I’ve tried to like these things but I just can’t. No big deal. But my goodness I love, love, love the summers here! When the weather improves, get out to the beaches, the national parks, the countryside. I’m constantly amazed how beautiful this country is. Take it, it’s yours now too. 

From reading from the beginning of this thread, up until now, it comes across that you have a very good head on your shoulders and can be rational when it comes to taking care of business, particularly daunting business such as this. My heart goes out to you for having to experience it at all. A former best friend of mine, while not in an international marriage, found out after 5 years of marriage and a 4 year old son later that her husband was having gay sexual relationships during their marriage. I can't even imagine discovering something like that about your partner. As others have already said - it isn't about the sexual orientation, it's about the deception. Process and grunt work aside, it's a long emotional road ahead, I'm sure. But it seems you have taken some awesome strides at working towards a resolution to this, which is a very good thing.
 
I think I saw you mention having lost some friends along the way before now. I encourage you to reach out to those people now. I was in a mentally abusive relationship several years ago and lost every one of my friends because of him. When I finally left him, it was a very lonely feeling. You feel like you have no one to turn to. I wound up crossing paths with and reconnecting with some of those friends shortly after, and it was the best decision I could've ever made at that time. Most people who genuinely love and care about you will move past those sort of things and be there for you again, if you allow them to be.
 
Best of luck to you and your little one!!