Visa cancelled and in a bad dilemma

[TBoneTX 47,352]

28 minutes ago, Coldshot said:

I cut slacks and give reasons for people’s behavior.

Kindly stated, there's a stark difference between "tolerant" and "doormat."

[Coldshot 6]

7 hours ago, KMG said:

Ghosting during this process is unacceptable.  You deserve better than this nonsense.  Take some time to heal. As others have said, block him, and move on. You are only 26- don't play with someone who does not want kids.  

I don’t mean to defend him but I’m going to make my words clearer because I omitted many important details to save time . He told me to move on during the time I was ghosted. I pursued my transfer to another country because I thought it was the distance and he told his sister that he won’t withdraw our case. He would see that he brings me and we live together as family. 
I truly love and miss him despite this immense hurting. And it’s so hard accepting this is where our journey ends. 💔💔😭

[Rocio0010 5,727]

I know it sucks, big time. And it hurts. But be "happy" that it happened before you came to the United States, where you have no support system, I assume. At least you don't have to see his face every day. And that's a blessing, even though you do not see it as such now. If you had a daughter in your same situation, what would you tell her? I would be celebrating that the MF is out of her life. 

 

It feels raw now, but your pain is not forever. I promise you! Sooner or later you will smile and sigh in relief that, for some reason, God said "no" this time around. Remember, when one door closes, a window opens!

[.yana 611]

Would you have tolerated same treatment from a person not from US?

[yuna628 9,857]

OP:

 

There are things I must now say and I hope it does not cause offense. You say you love him. He does not love you. He is an abuser. He will harm you, and he *has* caused harm to you. He has caused harm to others. At some point you knew all of this, and at some point you reasoned that through your love, compassion, and kindness that this would make him stop being abusive. That he would change via your love or even worse, that you are the problem. It is a lie. A lie that people in these relationships tell themselves to survive.

 

There is nothing more to be done now. Move on from him and find someone that understands your worth and actually loves you. Not just the idea of you, or an imagining of you - but actually loves and respects you for you.

 

From a period of three years of my young life long ago, I once learned what it was like to love an abuser. The places it took me were harmful and will effect me for the rest of my days. They will destroy you until there isn't anything left and nothing will make them happier in doing so. I know how much I desperately loved that person and I know that now I look back on it and feel nothing for them. You will move on, grow, and love again.

[Scandi 4,292]

Doesn't sound like a loss to me. Time to move on.

Also, you cannot get a K-1 visa when you're already married, so that was probably why your visa was denied. 

[Coldshot 6]

2 hours ago, .yana said:

Would you have tolerated same treatment from a person not from US?

Sadly, yes. 

[Coldshot 6]

44 minutes ago, Scandi said:

Doesn't sound like a loss to me. Time to move on.

Also, you cannot get a K-1 visa when you're already married, so that was probably why your visa was denied. 

I got the visa and was about to pick up but he wrote to the embassy for cancellation over a tiniest misunderstanding that could be resolved. It’s just a pattern with him. He had done it in the past like canceling his flight ticket and Airbnb over a little misunderstanding.

Edited Monday at 04:48 PM by Coldshot

[Coldshot 6]

1 hour ago, yuna628 said:

OP:

 

There are things I must now say and I hope it does not cause offense. You say you love him. He does not love you. He is an abuser. He will harm you, and he *has* caused harm to you. He has caused harm to others. At some point you knew all of this, and at some point you reasoned that through your love, compassion, and kindness that this would make him stop being abusive. That he would change via your love or even worse, that you are the problem. It is a lie. A lie that people in these relationships tell themselves to survive.

 

There is nothing more to be done now. Move on from him and find someone that understands your worth and actually loves you. Not just the idea of you, or an imagining of you - but actually loves and respects you for you.

 

From a period of three years of my young life long ago, I once learned what it was like to love an abuser. The places it took me were harmful and will effect me for the rest of my days. They will destroy you until there isn't anything left and nothing will make them happier in doing so. I know how much I desperately loved that person and I know that now I look back on it and feel nothing for them. You will move on, grow, and love again.

Hmmm.. it’s well. I have no other choice than to count my loss and pick up my pieces. It’s been really really hard because I love him and he chose to turn my life upside down in the last minute. 

[Coldshot 6]

3 minutes ago, Coldshot said:

Hmmm.. it’s well. I have no other choice than to count my loss and pick up my pieces. It’s been really really hard because I love him and he chose to turn my life upside down in the last minute. 

Please I need to add it was a wrongful conviction. He’s truly an amazing and wonderful man— that’s what made it hurt the most. 

[Boiler 47,283]

What are you looking to achieve, not sure I understand the point of this thread on an Immigration Forum

[appleblossom 4,223]

21 minutes ago, Coldshot said:

He’s truly an amazing and wonderful man— that’s what made it hurt the most. 

 

He doesn’t sound like it, he sounds like an absolute idiot. 

 

If this is your idea of a meaningful relationship then it’s an incredibly low bar and I can confidently say without knowing you that you deserve MUCH better. Somebody that you trust. Somebody that makes you laugh. Somebody that has your back, lifts you up, and that you go to first whenever you get any good news, or bad news. Somebody that wants the same things out of life as you. Somebody that respects you. Somebody that chooses you. 

 

Your first post had red flags all over it, so I’ve no idea what is ‘amazing’ and ‘wonderful’ about somebody that has said even one of those things to you, never mind all of them put together. As others have said, if my daughter came to me and said a man had said/done those things to her, I’d be advising her to get rid of him PDQ. You are better off without him. 

 

[KMG 210]

1 hour ago, Coldshot said:

Please I need to add it was a wrongful conviction. He’s truly an amazing and wonderful man— that’s what made it hurt the most. 

Is this what you are trying to tell yourself for comfort?  Wrongful convictions do indeed happen, but not often.  If he told you it was wrongful, he probably lied about that too. Please take the advice of everyone on this forum, get help and move on. You are young and can find real love.  

Edited Monday at 06:17 PM by KMG

[.yana 611]

1 hour ago, Coldshot said:

Sadly, yes. 

Then time to focus on self-healing before getting into another relationship with anyone. 

[Lemonslice 5,202]

1 hour ago, Coldshot said:

Please I need to add it was a wrongful conviction. He’s truly an amazing and wonderful man— that’s what made it hurt the most. 

Amazing and wonderful men do not abuse others.  He might have some qualities, but he's not a good man.  He already made you lose years of your life.   Take back your life.  Build it back, one step at a time, to your happy place.  You survived him, you are strong (even if it doesn't feel like it today) and will be able to do great things. 

 

Is there a good friend or family member who could be there for you now?