Highly tough situation

[Aster 24]

1 hour ago, debbiedoo said:

how many times have you seen/ met her? how many times before you were married? since you were married?

 

I'd say she is no longer interested in you and file for divorce. Neither my fiance nor myself have ever IGNORED a call or message from the other. If we cant answer right then, we certainly call back shortly. 

 

okay so aside from the fact he cant just' fly over and fix it', someone who tried to forcefully take control of my life or our situation would not be met with a positive attitude on my part. Perhaps that ' Me Man- You Woman-Do What I say' attitude is common in some cultures or countries, you won't find that going over so well in the US

I met her in New York ,   She and her mother said that get marry in New York and they will give me money to be settled , but I was on my vocation trip that's why I did not want to marry there ,  I suggest them to come to my home land (Pakistan) marry there.  My intentioned was visit usa , that's it!   I came back ,  my wife was forcing me and stopping and requesting me to get marry her but I said my decision is to get marry in my home land and my whole relatives are there .     Then they agreed and came to Pakistan for marry . She came only for 15 days and went back to New York . After 6motnhs she came to Pakistan for 3 weeks and went back .

 

now a day before my interview date email came we are fine and talked but after two days she was starting ignor my messages and call not received ,    I called her mother but she is not responding .... I sent voice messages if there is something wrong then I m sorry... But they don't disclose anything and not reponding .... 

 

I completed my medical ,   And 4th is my interview date .... I don't know what's wrong ....  Why they are doing this to me .... I have five years visit visa of USA .   I heard that if I go for interview then may be they require document from your wife side if you can not provide then your visit visa also be cancelled . 

 

 

I dont don't want it !    However I did my medical , should I extend my interview date ??? At this stage 

[Ann&James 179]

11 hours ago, Aster said:

I met her in New York ,   She and her mother said that get marry in New York and they will give me money to be settled , but I was on my vocation trip that's why I did not want to marry there ,  I suggest them to come to my home land (Pakistan) marry there.  My intentioned was visit usa , that's it!   I came back ,  my wife was forcing me and stopping and requesting me to get marry her but I said my decision is to get marry in my home land and my whole relatives are there .     Then they agreed and came to Pakistan for marry . She came only for 15 days and went back to New York . After 6motnhs she came to Pakistan for 3 weeks and went back .

 

now a day before my interview date email came we are fine and talked but after two days she was starting ignor my messages and call not received ,    I called her mother but she is not responding .... I sent voice messages if there is something wrong then I m sorry... But they don't disclose anything and not reponding .... 

 

I completed my medical ,   And 4th is my interview date .... I don't know what's wrong ....  Why they are doing this to me .... I have five years visit visa of USA .   I heard that if I go for interview then may be they require document from your wife side if you can not provide then your visit visa also be cancelled . 

 

 

I dont don't want it !    However I did my medical , should I extend my interview date ??? At this stage 

Do you have anyone in the US who can call your wife and discuss the situation and get back to you?

[Aster 24]

2 minutes ago, Ann&James said:

Do you have anyone in the US who can call your wife and discuss the situation and get back to you?

Yes I have ,   I don't know why they are doing this , but now  many questions are raising in my mind if I go to usa then they deport me , I m confused now

I wanted to be settled in my life but I don't know what is going on ! 

[Ann&James 179]

11 hours ago, Aster said:

Yes I have ,   I don't know why they are doing this , but now  many questions are raising in my mind if I go to usa then they deport me , I m confused now

I wanted to be settled in my life but I don't know what is going on ! 

You need to concentrate on one thing at a time, and I think the first thing is to get in touch with your wife any way you could and find out what is going on.

[Studentss 6]

19 hours ago, Aster said:

I asked her to send me form, tax , w2 etc .

Spoiler

 She was saying I would send you soon but it's been two months she did not send and now she is not picking my phone up and do not reply my messages , even her mother is not picking my phone 

.I m confused .  They are read my messages on whatsapp but not reply ..

i would be worried myself  about something serious passed by, it has been two months, 

 

Edited August 25, 2018 by Studentss

[Loren Y 2,732]

This is one example of why the K1 is better than the CR1. You can bail out until the last minute without any commitments. And if ever asked at the embassy you can say it just didn't work out. Now you have a divorce to figure out, and probably will never get to visit the United States again. 

 

You could hire a private investigator to check her out for a few days and tell you what she is doing. If he sends you photos of her hanging out with her yoga instructor, you know where your relationship stands right away.

[NikLR 13,220]

14 minutes ago, Loren Y said:

This is one example of why the K1 is better than the CR1. You can bail out until the last minute without any commitments. And if ever asked at the embassy you can say it just didn't work out. Now you have a divorce to figure out, and probably will never get to visit the United States again. 

 

You could hire a private investigator to check her out for a few days and tell you what she is doing. If he sends you photos of her hanging out with her yoga instructor, you know where your relationship stands right away.

He's going to hire a PI while he's in Pakistan to follow his USC wife?  That's your advice? 

---

OP I think you should cancel the interview until such a time as you can find out where your marriage stands.  But i do not think you should hire a Private Investigator to find out what your wife is up to, i think continuing to try to contact her would be best.  Or using your B2 visa to visit the USA. 

Edited August 25, 2018 by NikLR

[Studentss 6]

2 hours ago, Aster said:

Yes I have ,   I don't know why they are doing this , but now  many questions are raising in my mind if I go to usa then they deport me , I m confused now

I wanted to be settled in my life but I don't know what is going on ! 

if you have someone in the USA, you can try to contact through them, you must be having someone because you have been there,  the least your friend who you know, can go to them that you wanted to know what's going on? at least they should say something, but you never know life is full of unexpected things why it is like this, 

 

one day my wife came back to the USA and she wasn't attending my phone because she went with her parents outside and left the phone home just for few hours , i was extremely worried, angry and anxious that was after we had spent 3 and 6 months together, and then she started massaging me and apologized so much  for doing that   

Edited August 25, 2018 by Studentss

[Kowatti 189]

This is such a sad situation and I am so very sorry for what you must be experiencing.  Sometimes it happens when two people are trying to maintain a relationship and live in different countries.  It's a challenge and some couples don't survive the long wait.  One might lose interest because of the distance.  How do you tell your husband or fiancé you found someone else?  There are people who prefer to hide than to simply say I don't want to be with you anymore.  They think after a few months you will get the message & stop calling.  It's not nice nor is it the right thing to do.  The fact is you have not been in a real marriage relationship.  My opinion is reschedule to give you more time.  After you reschedule, if you still haven't heard from your USC wife, it's time to tell the consular the truth, when you go for your interview.  Ask questions you are concerned about.  They will gladly give you the information you need about what you should do next.  Good luck and the best to you.  

[Loren Y 2,732]

31 minutes ago, NikLR said:

He's going to hire a PI while he's in Pakistan to follow his USC wife?  That's your advice? 

 

---

OP I think you should cancel the interview until such a time as you can find out where your marriage stands.  But i do not think you should hire a Private Investigator to find out what your wife is up to, i think continuing to try to contact her would be best.  Or using your B2 visa to visit the USA. 

You think they are going to let him into the United States on a B2 visit Visa with a pending cr1. Not on your longest day. You think there might be some immigration intent there? And I hire private investigators all the time. You think I didn't have one checking on my fiancee during the K1 process. Obviously you haven't learned the golden rule... Never trust anyone...

[Going through 5,668]

2 hours ago, Aster said:

Yes I have ,   I don't know why they are doing this , but now  many questions are raising in my mind if I go to usa then they deport me , I m confused now

I wanted to be settled in my life but I don't know what is going on ! 

Ok first of all, reach out to your friend in the US and see if he/she can find out anything.

Second of all, they cannot "deport you" no matter what happens---they don't hold the keys to the country.  The only way they could do anything is if they had concrete proof that you entered the marriage solely for immigration benefits.

Third of all, I would suggest you postpone or cancel the interview until you get a better idea of what exactly is going on with your wife...and then make your future decisions from there.  

 

I do not suggest going to the interview without the documentation needed from your wife.  Your chances of getting approved without that are slim.  

On the off-chance that you did somehow get approved, the idea of you just flying out to the USA to confront your wife (while it sounds advantageous), probably won't work out the way you intend it to if she wants nothing more to do with you----you could very well find yourself getting arrested for harassment/trespassing.   You can't just show up and demand they let you into their home to live there, husband or not.

 

 

[Lazybones18 261]

Don’t divorce her .. she is obligated to get consent from  you and will be forced to contact you. Or she will have to come to Pakistan to appear before a court to get divorce .. both ways it’s a great hassle for her which she deserves 

 

Try to extend the interview to buy ur more time to see if u can talk to her and work things out 

 

 

 

 

[Ischnura 285]

34 minutes ago, Lazybones18 said:

Don’t divorce her .. she is obligated to get consent from  you and will be forced to contact you. Or she will have to come to Pakistan to appear before a court to get divorce .. both ways it’s a great hassle for her which she deserves 

 

Try to extend the interview to buy ur more time to see if u can talk to her and work things out 

 

 

 

 

 If she's done with the marriage, he obviously doesn't want hassle in his life, divorce asap sounds like the best option all round. There's no need to be vindictive, whatever her reasoning might be. Divorce, move on with your life. 

 

 Ugh, who seriously has time to bring to life stupid scenarios like that. 

[JFH 12,189]

56 minutes ago, Loren Y said:

You think they are going to let him into the United States on a B2 visit Visa with a pending cr1. Not on your longest day. 

Why ever not? Many of us visit during the CR-1 process. I visited more than once during our process. 

[JFH 12,189]

1 hour ago, Loren Y said:

This is one example of why the K1 is better than the CR1. You can bail out until the last minute without any commitments.

I guess what you’re saying is the the K-1 is better than the CR-1 for people who are not sure about their relationship? Why would being able to “bail out until the last minute without commitments” be a bonus? If my husband had said to me “we should do the K-1 instead of getting married and doing the CR-1 in case I need to bail out at the last minute” he wouldn’t see me for dust.