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kc214

ROC after Divorce - USC Help

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Hi,

 

I am the USC. Ex husband and I got married in December 2014, moved to US in July 2016, separated in May 2017 and got the divorce finalized in April 2018 . There were many reasons why the marriage didnt work out but mainly he started developing anger issues, was emotionally abusive, and I found out he was doing drugs. He oftentimes told me that moving to the US with me was a huge mistake, that he hated living here, hated his job, etc. 

 

After the divorce finalized he told me he was applying for his permanent green card and needed all the documents I had saved throughout our marriage as evidence. I honestly wish him them best and have tried my best to help him out as much as I could. I even wrote and signed a letter about how we entered the marriage in good faith and things just didnt work out. 

 

After we got separated I moved into my own apartment, when he found out where I lived he would often show up unannounced to "see the cats". It all made me really uncomfortable so I decided to move again and made sure not to tell anyone except for my mother. He is now calling my mother and I nonstop saying that he needs my new address (which means he again showed up at my old apartment) for the I-751 and it's "the least I could do" since I am making him go through this entire process. 

 

Does he really need my address? I don't want to be a bad person and be the reason his ROC is denied, but I am also really tired of him basically harassing me for things he needs and really dont want him to know where I live. I might just be paranoid but I also deep down feel like is capable of doing anything and just want to feel safe where I live. 

 

 

I know I will probably get a lot of hate from this post but hopefully someone could offer some insight. 

 

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You're divorced. Tell him buzz off. He can finish his ROC on his own if he wishes. He doesn't "need" anything really from you. I'd ignore him and he can choose to do .


08/15/2014 : Met Online

06/30/2016 : I-129F Packet Sent

07/08/2016 : NOA 1 Received

08/25/2016 : NOA 2 Received (48 days)

11/08/2016 : Interview - APPROVED!

11/18/2016 : Visa in hand

11/23/2016 : POE - Dallas, Texas

From sending of I-129F petiton to POE - 146 days.

 

02/03/2017 - Married 

 

02/24/2017 - AOS packet sent

03/06/2017 - NOA1's received via text

03/31/2017 - Biometrics appointment Completed

06/01/2017 - EAD/AP Combo Card Received in mail

12/06/2017 - I-485 Approved

12/14/2017 - Green Card Received in mail - No Interview

 

 

giphy.gif   vd9wauve2wlsd9fuctxk.gif giphy.gif

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nope, you dont have to give him anything. Hes filing for ROC with a divorce waiver.

 

its on him to produce whatever evidence he needs.


5/7/2018 K1       Application mailed

5/9/2018             Application rec'd and signed for (sent via fedex)

5/14/2018          NOA1 Email notification

5/18/2018          NOA1 Paper copy rec'd (i797C)

 

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I agree with everyone else. He is here by he own will and going through the process because he wants to. No one is forcing him to stay or file the paperwork.

 

Don't give him your address. Change your number and your mom's. Only let those you're in close contact with/not in contact with him have it. 

 

I am so sorry that you are dealing with this. Once the divorce was signed, you should have been rid of him. The fact that he didn't save papers (and is now using that as an excuse to harass you) is not your problem. Try to stay away from him and if he persists, you can request a non-contact order. He has absolutely no excuse to continue harassing either of you.

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Posted (edited)
51 minutes ago, kc214 said:

Does he really need my address? I don't want to be a bad person and be the reason his ROC is denied, but I am also really tired of him basically harassing me for things he needs and really dont want him to know where I live. I might just be paranoid but I also deep down feel like is capable of doing anything and just want to feel safe where I live. 

 

 

I know I will probably get a lot of hate from this post but hopefully someone could offer some insight. 

 

I'm very sorry you're having to go through this.  I quoted the above excerpt because

1) to echo others, no, he does not need your address. ROC with divorce filing is completely on him and there's no reason you need to be involved, let alone provide your address.  Don't allow him to manipulate you.

2) Please don't be too hard on yourself: you're not a bad person, especially for just wanting to feel safe where you live! You provided him a lot more help than many would have. Please don't beat yourself up. You felt so uncomfortable you moved. Take care of yourself; he's an adult and can figure ROC out just like you were able to figure it out. 

 

Also, I second the poster who said your mom needs a new phone number.  

 

ETA: Basically ditto what @GreatDane says above. We posted at the same time and that post says it all better than I did!

Edited by SeabreezeUF

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So, if I am reading this correctly, he blames you for being here.......yet he wants to go through ROC to stay? If you "made him" come and he is unhappy, why is he still here?

It sounds like you made a smart choice to move forward.

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2 hours ago, kc214 said:

Hi,

 

I am the USC. Ex husband and I got married in December 2014, moved to US in July 2016, separated in May 2017 and got the divorce finalized in April 2018 . There were many reasons why the marriage didnt work out but mainly he started developing anger issues, was emotionally abusive, and I found out he was doing drugs. He oftentimes told me that moving to the US with me was a huge mistake, that he hated living here, hated his job, etc. 

 

After the divorce finalized he told me he was applying for his permanent green card and needed all the documents I had saved throughout our marriage as evidence. I honestly wish him them best and have tried my best to help him out as much as I could. I even wrote and signed a letter about how we entered the marriage in good faith and things just didnt work out. 

 

After we got separated I moved into my own apartment, when he found out where I lived he would often show up unannounced to "see the cats". It all made me really uncomfortable so I decided to move again and made sure not to tell anyone except for my mother. He is now calling my mother and I nonstop saying that he needs my new address (which means he again showed up at my old apartment) for the I-751 and it's "the least I could do" since I am making him go through this entire process. 

 

Does he really need my address? I don't want to be a bad person and be the reason his ROC is denied, but I am also really tired of him basically harassing me for things he needs and really dont want him to know where I live. I might just be paranoid but I also deep down feel like is capable of doing anything and just want to feel safe where I live. 

 

 

I know I will probably get a lot of hate from this post but hopefully someone could offer some insight. 

 

No. And what he is doing is obviously stalking and harassment...if he is finding life here so difficult, he could/should have gone back to his home country. Seems to me like you have done all you could do for someone who obviously does not appreciate it, did not take the opportunities and advantages that being in the US could offer (as compared to so many countries), turned abusive, turned to criminal behavior, and after all that is blaming his circumstance and choices on you. You need to protect yourself from him and move on with your life.

 

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2 hours ago, kc214 said:

 

Does he really need my address? I don't want to be a bad person and be the reason his ROC is denied, but I am also really tired of him basically harassing me for things he needs and really dont want him to know where I live. I might just be paranoid but I also deep down feel like is capable of doing anything and just want to feel safe where I live. 

 

 

 

 

You can always opt for a post office box for your mailing address if so desired. 

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Thank you so much everyone!!! I will admit I have cried after reading all of your comments. 

 

I guess ultimately I am a pushover and do genuinely wish him the best but have finally reach my limit. 

 

Since I haven't been answering his phone calls his lawyer  just emailed me the followingIt is very important to get this right - if it looks at all suspicious, then it might cause you problems in the future since you petitioned for your husband. Thats why I have to be very careful with everything we give them."

 

I feel like they are trying to threaten me into giving them the information they need. 

 

For now I am going to stand my ground.  I just feel really attacked right now. How would me not giving them my current address look suspicious? And what exactly is he trying to say will happen to me?

 

 

Thank you again to everyone with your support. It's nice to be assured that I am not crazy for feeling harassed and taken advantage of. 

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41 minutes ago, kc214 said:

Thank you so much everyone!!! I will admit I have cried after reading all of your comments. 

 

I guess ultimately I am a pushover and do genuinely wish him the best but have finally reach my limit. 

 

Since I haven't been answering his phone calls his lawyer  just emailed me the followingIt is very important to get this right - if it looks at all suspicious, then it might cause you problems in the future since you petitioned for your husband. Thats why I have to be very careful with everything we give them."

 

I feel like they are trying to threaten me into giving them the information they need. 

 

For now I am going to stand my ground.  I just feel really attacked right now. How would me not giving them my current address look suspicious? And what exactly is he trying to say will happen to me?

 

 

Thank you again to everyone with your support. It's nice to be assured that I am not crazy for feeling harassed and taken advantage of. 

Wow that lawyer is also a slimeball. A regular lawyer would know your ex doesn't need anything from you. I would report this lawyer to the bar for that email. But that's up to you. Standing your ground is the right decision. So sorry you had to go through this. 


08/08/17: PD 

08/15/17: NOA1's received

09/06/17: Biometrics Appt

10/23/17: 1st SR for I-765

11/28/17: 2nd SR for I-765 (w/ Tier 2 rep)

01/16/18: Contacted senator

02/01/18: RFIE mailed (online update)

02/04/18: RFIE letter received RE: I-864

03/09/18: RFIE response sent

03/15/18: RFIE response delivered (UPS tracking)

03/19/18: RFIE response acknowledged (online update)

03/30/18: Contacted ombudsman

04/02/18: Contacted senator again

04/17/18: Combo card approval (online update)

04/19/18: Combo card mailed (online update)

04/22/18: Combo card received 

08/21/18: INTERVIEW SCHEDULED! (online update)

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