Broke apart

[f f 725]

15 minutes ago, ecwai said:

If I do this, will the police report be held against her if she were to apply for immigration to the US later?

Because so far the two actions below don't seem very incriminating:

1) I withdraw I-864, no questions asked, no interview, no need to disclose what happened.
2) No-fault divorce (It seems that all divorces in CA are no-fault), again, not in-criminating.

you should stop worrying about her the second she makes you chose between fraud and then a clean divorce or a messy divorce.. she can claim sexual assault simply by telling the police you pressured her into unprotected sex she did not want because you have the power to revoke her legal path to residency. and then you will have that on your record which can be held against you in divorce proceedings.

[USAMorocco 143]

50 minutes ago, cd37 said:

i dont think you can get away with spliting what you own in half. Once you are married, you are married, doesnt matter how long. when you divorce everything splits into half your debt, property, 401k or anything else. 

Not true.  In most states a person needs to be married for years before you split assets.  Many states won't even give her spousal support and no state will give her alimony.  Many states if not all go by what you accumulated after you married. It's called community property states which are the states that go by what you accumulate and split from the time you got married.  Other than that you have to agree on who gets what.  In NJ unless you are named on the account of something like a retirement account you don't get anything. 401K is different the spouse has to sign off on it going to someone else.  I think he is in the clear and most likely won't have to split anything. 

[Beth & Achraf 328]

Call me evil. I would go to that interview and let the officer know what is going on of her demands  and of her leaving home and etc. 

Have you been given a interview date? Cause some K1 filing AOS don't go through a interview.

Be upfront with USCIS, cause if you ever file again, your hands will be clean.

 

You will be able to get a divorce, but in California, California is a “community property” state, which means that property acquired during a marriage by California spouses is generally considered the property of both parties and can be divided equally by a California court during a divorce. Debts acquired during the marriage are also considered community property.

 

Speak with a divorce lawyer on this part.

[NYCruiser 423]

44 minutes ago, ecwai said:

The immigrant refused.

It is because I suspect that she is a fraud. If I help her go through I-485 interview, I-864 comes into effect and I have to support her even if she leaves me later. According to her text message, she will leave me regardless whether I help her get green card. She wants some kind of divorce anyway. 

Pull the affidavit, do not attend the interview, she will be deportable, do not be in the same room as her, change the locks, security code, if any, remove her name immediately from any bank accounts, credit card accounts, cancel ALL credit in her name etc....then file for divorce. That text message is critical. Keep copies online, in your own safe etc...protect yourself...!!

[NigeriaorBust 4,087]

  In California the magic number of marriage years is 10,  Before that you may be on the hook for spousal for a period of 1/2 the duration of the marriage ( in your case 4 months )  and you only have to divide assets acquired during the marriage.   A huge reach would be that increased equity in say a house that was paid for via community money  would be splittable but only for the part that covered the period of the marriage.  

[SChamb 187]

Ohio is a no fault...takes 10 years before they kill yea...worse case even if she goes after anything its assets within the 8 mos... she wont or cant take half of everything.. she has watched to much american soap operas...its almost a annulment...at 8 mos...i say keep any threats text etc recorded and divorce...

[ecwai 13]

Going to file a police report first.

My mom was crying again saying that she was such a bad person after all the help we gave her. I was crying too, because I had been hiding how she treated me from my mom, until a few months ago, it was her that first brought our issues to my mom trying to convince my mom to make me change, but my mom ended up agreeing with me that she should change. Now again it was her that choice to send that text message to my mom, hurting my mom once more.

Edited July 25, 2017 by ecwai

[Unidentified 2,930]

1 minute ago, ecwai said:

Going to file a police report first.

My mom was crying again saying that she was such a bad person after all the help we gave her.

The help you gave her? What kind of relationship did you guys have? How long did you know her before you guys decided you want to get married?

[spim 21]

There isn't a law that requires that your wife has to have sex with you.  It's her choice.  Pressuring her just makes it that much further for you (this wife and whoever next).

 

That said, you need to file for divorce immediately.  She has stated that she intends on committing visa fraud (by staying in a fake marriage for visa purposes, and then divorcing), and you do not want that mess on your plate.

[TheSkywalkers 143]

3 hours ago, ecwai said:

My marriage of 9 months fell apart when my then K-1 wife left home after refusing to have unprotected sex with me before the coming first AOS interview.

After she left, she texted me that I have only two options: 1) help her get the green card in the interview, then file a divorce and let her live separately. 2)  Sue me based on emotional abuse and domestic violence to get my assets and property.

 

Is it better for me to not show up for the first interview (so that she will probably fail AOS), or to go to the interview but personally withdraw the I-864 to fail her AOS?

Is there legal consequence for me for doing so?

 

Based on her text message, may I file for at-fault divorce on the grounds of marriage fraud?

If I proceed like this, how could the case end when her AOS fails and has no ground to stay in the US?

Will I be unable to get the divorce? Forever still married?

 

I do smell visa fraud here based on your wife's statements. Every statement she gave you implies that she is just after what she could gain from you. I am sorry brother that you had to go through this. If I were you, I would save every evidence in my possession that proves she did not enter the marriage in good faith.

 

But if she is claiming "abuse", where is she going to get proofs for those? How is she going to prove the existence of such claims without proofs? Have you ever demeaned her? Texted her offensive words that would hurt her feelings? Hit her? If she has proofs for this and reports you, you might end up having a more bumpy ride to the court. 

 

Anything you have acquired with earnings during marriage may be subject to division. anything you had prior to marriage or acquired with money you earned after the date of separation is not community property subject to division. Also gifts or inheritances you receive, even if you receive them during marriage, are separate. If everything is spent, however, and there are no assets into which you can trace that money, there may be nothing to divide.

Edited July 25, 2017 by missushabes
Additional info

[Unidentified 2,930]

Yeah he has still not answered my question about how he acted when she said she didn't want sex. A woman doesn't just up and leave the house and wants divorce unless he acted in a way that made her flee the home. 

 

I feel that if it was as simple as she all of a sudden didn't want to have sex and he was cool with it, she would have stayed and maybe start making threats about abuse and green card. 

[Dianalorena 1,153]

This sounds like quite a mess.

Think of it this way, would things be different if she didn't arrive on a K1? Like others have stated we can't make an assertion without having more information, but declining to have unprotected sex doesn't automatically scream VISA fraud. But I can't say that it isn't, and that was her plan all along, but if this is the case she fooled you and USCIS into thinking it was real. She might be scared and worried you will try to send her back (which happens quite often. Remember these are people, not a table that you didn't like and want to return to IKEA) so she is just thinking of ways to protect herself, not actively trying to commit fraud. But who knows. Either way, if the relationship isn't salvageable, get a lawyer, get a divorce and end things fairly. 

 

Edited July 25, 2017 by Dianalorena

[Coco8 1,039]

4 hours ago, ecwai said:

My marriage of 9 months fell apart when my then K-1 wife left home after refusing to have unprotected sex with me before the coming first AOS interview.

 

Anyone can refuse to have unprotected sex or not have sex at all, even someone who is married to the other person. Not accepting someone's refusal would be rape. 

 

Maybe she didn't want to get pregnant before having the paperwork in order.

 

4 hours ago, ecwai said:

After she left, she texted me that I have only two options: 1) help her get the green card in the interview, then file a divorce and let her live separately. 2)  Sue me based on emotional abuse and domestic violence to get my assets and property.

 

Now this is the important part. I think the "sex" part is irrelevant to your story. 

 

Everyone else has given good advice so I am not going to repeat it.

 

 

 

[ecwai 13]

36 minutes ago, missushabes said:

But if she is claiming "abuse", where is she going to get proofs for those? How is she going to prove the existence of such claims without proofs? Have you ever demeaned her? Texted her offensive words that would hurt her feelings? Hit her? If she has proofs for this and reports you, you might end up having a more bumpy ride to the court. 

We were no always polite at each other when we start arguing, We both had thrown small items onto the ground, tear up unimportant paper. I never hit her, sometimes she would hit me to make me do things for her. It is not like we call each other names. When we argued, we had both questioned whether we loved each other. When I make that question, she would say that it hurts her feelings. But she was doing that to me too.

[Everlast 49]

4 hours ago, ecwai said:

I don't want to in-adventedly promote any stereotype, so I guess I shouldn't answer this.

Beautiful answer!