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About ecwai

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  1. I am not sure. Yes, we were doing adjustment of status interview. Maybe it is because if I does not withdraw that, she could file I-485 again by herself (?)
  2. In my case I also have a police report and the police confirmed with my wife in person that she sent the message. I didn't know that I need to withdraw I-129F until the interviewer (immigration official) informed me to withdraw both. You guys are so smart. That lawyer's answer wasn't that good. He probably shouldn't be able to say yes based on such little information. Maybe he tried to keep the technicalities simple (?). I will see how the other lawyers answer the same question.
  3. I could not reach USCIS by phone on time, so I pulled by I-129F and I-864 during the interview and testified for her attempt to defraud. I asked a lawyer and he said her text message was enough ground for a marriage annulment based on marriage fraud.
  4. After more reflection and study, I came to realize that my wife is a sociopath. Every characteristic was right on the dot including criminal behavior. I felt stupid to not have thought about that at the beginning. Because I did not expect that, I felt really bad everyday not knowing why to deal with such an irresponsible constant liar. We would argue when I called out how she blatantly lied to me, dealing with the constant betrayal, single-handedly trying to make our relation more loving. All efforts were futile. It stressed me and hurt me so much. I kept thinking whether I did something wrong, and what else I could have done to improve our relationship. Now, the fact that she could not keep any promise, unable to learn from experience, unable to feel guilt, unable to accept criticisms, and lack of love all make sense. My experience felt like a clone to the accounts in the comments here. There really are "pure evil" people. But they are not "evil", they are sociopaths. Now I am reading up on the relationship between sociopaths and society to educate myself to make a decision on what to do. I think that exposing her remorseless attempt to defraud is necessary.
  5. Our situation was that we both got along very well will others, but not between the two of us. We had both said to each others something to the effect that "Why do you treat the others so nicely but you treat me like this. I am your spouse, shouldn't you treat me better?" We both tend to focus on the things that we did better to others than to focus on the things that we did specially for each other.
  6. We talk in the same mother language. English is a second language for both of us. We had a short dating period because we were getting older than the "good" age to conceive. We got into the marriage wanting to have a child as soon as possible (including settling down, having her learn enough English to get around, getting over the duration of certain immigration vaccines). So the reason was not that I didn't want a child, but some other factors.
  7. Yes, but she would misrepresent what I said, or forget my reasons. She holds on to the reason she believes, she does not acknowledge my explanations, although sometimes she admitted that I told her. She does not say, "Well, you believe that the reason is this, but I believe that the reason is that." She says, "The reason is this. You told me your reason but I don't remember what it was."
  8. Sorry for the confusion. What I meant was that she had told others that "I want a child, but he doesn't" and told me that "I want a child, but you don't."
  9. ecwai listens to Lemonslice and stop talking about sex.
  10. I meant that when someone asked whether we are planning to have kids, she would say that I don't want kids. And I will listen to you and stop.
  11. Thank you everyone, I am convinced that I am immature, and the fact that both sides got advises from their trusted circle and the situation snowballed from the biases. For the part about "unprotected" sex, what happened was that at first she agree to have sex but with condoms, then when I clarified that I wanted unprotected sex, she did not bring up the fear of childbearing, because she had told me and others that she wanted a child, but I didn't. What she said in refusal was that her stomach hurt. At that point I didn't push any further. I am ashamed that I believed that the two of us could work things out by ourselves. Our issues had been going on for too long. And the part of me that believed she was not sincere was larger than the part of me that believed that we just needed more and better help. A lawyer told me that if I wanted to stop the process, I need to send a notarized letter to cancel I-130. The lawyer also told me that even if we don't go to the interview, she could still get a green card by a petition method, that method didn't need me at all. The lawyer also advised that if I get a divorce, due to the length of marriage, I wouldn't even be splitting half of my earning during the marriage, but I will be paying alimony for a month or two. He also said stay away from trying to go to the interview to expose fraud or trying to sue based on fraud. I am too ashamed to fill out my profile. I hope to those replying or viewing is getting something out of this thread. I am sorry if it wasted your time. If we ever become happily together I might consider filling my profile. If it breaks apart, I think that it is better for us now to disclose any further. I think I do need her consent to provide any details.
  12. I did not expect her to leave. When she left, I was sitting in a room waiting to see what she would say. Then she took the documents that we prepared for the interview and left with her backpack. She was not crying or anything. When she left like that, I was afraid that she would harm stuff at home, or spend everything in the credit cards.
  13. What does "not accepting refusal" mean? After she refused, we just sat together for a long time. I point out her behaviors throughout the marriage and how she had many excuses, and broke promises. Then I asked her what she could do to convince me that she really loved me. She couldn't answer. Then I said I wanted to break my wedding band because I felt that I was the only one trying to fix our marriage while she was breaking promises and did nothing. At that point she started reacting. So I asked her calmly what the ring meant for her. She again couldn't answer. I asked why she cared about the ring more than caring about my daily life and how I felt. We would wait together, then I would move closer to get tool to break it. She would tell me to stop and I would stop, wait for her to say something to explain to me what the ring meant to her. At the end, while I was waiting, she text my mom saying that I was angry for no reason, and I was forcing her out of the house, and that if I couldn't help her get green card, she would sue me and such on the grounds of abuse. In the text message she was asking my mom to talk to me out of trying to get a divorce. Then my mom called me and told me I didn't need to feel sorry for my wife, because my mom also believed that my wife didn't love me. After that, I went back to the garage, put on safety goggles. My wife stood at the door way watching whether I would really break the ring. I broke it with a hammer, then she picked up her backpack and left without saying anything.
  14. We were no always polite at each other when we start arguing, We both had thrown small items onto the ground, tear up unimportant paper. I never hit her, sometimes she would hit me to make me do things for her. It is not like we call each other names. When we argued, we had both questioned whether we loved each other. When I make that question, she would say that it hurts her feelings. But she was doing that to me too.
  15. Going to file a police report first. My mom was crying again saying that she was such a bad person after all the help we gave her. I was crying too, because I had been hiding how she treated me from my mom, until a few months ago, it was her that first brought our issues to my mom trying to convince my mom to make me change, but my mom ended up agreeing with me that she should change. Now again it was her that choice to send that text message to my mom, hurting my mom once more.