Wife arrived in the US 14 days ago. Now she is gone

[Jjbarlow74 1]

Hi Everyone
Here we go. I met my wife thru family friends in Vietnam in 2013. We married in Vietnam In 2014. I traveled back to Vietnam in 2015 to go with her to the us embassy interview. I haven't had many relationships (I'm shy). So I thought her lack of attention to me was just how Vietnamese women are. I was told by people that the Vietnamese do not show much affection. I thought as time went on she would get more affectionate. She would never initiate sex.

Well she arrived in the US 17 days ago and her attitude had not changed. She was always on the phone with whom I believe to be her relatives that live in a different city. She spent more time on the phone with them than she did with me. After 2-3 days she got a cold and I tried to take care of her the best I could. This cold persisted for 6-7 days until she said she was feeling better. Well I was leaving the next morning for work. 2 days later I had 3 beers and was texting my wife. We had an argument. It escalated quickly to where we both agreed she would go back to Vietnam. The next day after I was of clear mind she was still adamant about going home. So we bought her a ticket and my mother took her to the airport. My mother got a pass to go to the gate to help her. My Morher said she went on the plane but then tried to get off but it was too late. Later that night my mother had a visitor who wanted to know if my wife had gotten on the plane. Turns out this lady was at the airport waiting to pick up my wife. My wife was not going to get on the plane But she didn't expect my mother to go to the gate with her. I did not know my wife knew anybody in my city. They are friends of her relatives that live in another city I found out later. Since my mother had the confirmation number I tracked her luggage and it said when she got to her 1st stop that the luggage was diverted to a plane coming back here.

Now I am thinking that she was planning on leaving me to stay with these people all along. I found out that she was complaining to her relatives about me. I came home early from work because now I am very worried about what is going on. What is she up too. Since I knew the flight she was on I went to the airport and there she was with the family I assume will be helping her out. I went up to her and said "hi honey" and she looked shocked. She gave me the cold shoulder and then I was walking away and the police stopped me. Said something about a possible domestic so they had me wait until a Vietnamese translator arrived. We had always mostly communicated on Viber. I was paying her to go to English class in Vietnam but her English was still bad. There must have been 9-10 police and also a customs agent there. I thought I was going to be arrested. But they let me go. The cop said to not make contact with her.
So as I look back in the past there are many things that happened that should have been a red flag but I wanted this so badly. I am worried she is going to get a restraining order and claim abuse maybe to stay in the US and make my life hell. Her SS card just arrived but as far as I know her conditional green card has not. In May we will have been married for 2 years.
I think I need to get a divorce lawyer and contact ICE and USCIS about marriage fraud. Anybody have any advice? Thanks

Edited April 9, 2016 by Penguin_ie

[Lemonslice 4,886]

For a shy person, you are quick to share intimate details.

I would divorce her as soon as possible and move on, it seems you two never had the same goals.

[Georgia16 2,858]

Can't you pull the sponsorship when her GC hasn't arrived yet??

[dwheels76 5,468]

Can't you pull the sponsorship when her GC hasn't arrived yet??

Nope. He can't a IR1/CR1 (spousal Visa) they are a LPR the minute they landed in US. It's too late for that.

[Georgia16 2,858]

Nope. He can't a IR1/CR1 (spousal Visa) they are a LPR the minute they landed in US. It's too late for that.

Okay. Then he really can't do much but divorce her ...

[Unidentified 2,930]

Divorce and move on. And next time, don't have "expectations" about how many times you should be intimate. If it happens it happens and shouldn't be nagged about. I know that it's clear she was with you for other reasons than love but for future reference women don't want to be nagged about it

[NancyNguyen 1,657]

Can't you pull the sponsorship when her GC hasn't arrived yet??

She came with CR1 visa, her GC is on its way.

[Penguin_ie 5,994]

***** sexual details removed, this is a family friendly forum *******

[Anh map 2,098]

Divorce and move on. That's all you can do.

Reporting to ICE you need to supply them with good evidence regarding fraud.

If her green card arrives in the mail, return it and include a letter saying that she is no longer at that address and you have no forwarding information.

[Adil & Jeanne 296]

i would report her missing to the local police in case she has issues at another residence just to protect myself

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

Divorce and move on. Return GC to sender with ' person does not live here' and let her figure out how to retrieve it.

It is surprising how many threads pop up with relationship problems after 1-2 weeks.

Get to really know someone other than short chats here and here and if it quacks like a duck it is and always will be a duck.

[UnaMexicana 153]

Let's not be so quick to judge OP.

I am so sorry that happened to you.

Anything she can do, she will find out on her own and with the help and support of that family.

What you need to do is go to the police, file a report and go to a lawyer and divorce.

Seek support of family and friends to help you move on. I wish you luck.

[Boiler 45,670]

I am having trouble working out what happened, could someone who has the original post PM with it.

Thanks

[Transborderwife 4,666]

I am having trouble working out what happened, could someone who has the original post PM with it.

Thanks

Curious as well

[Harmonia 211]

What would you do in this situation if your wife were American, say from another state? You'd get divorced, right? That's the solution. Get divorced and move on. Don't go tracking her luggage and going after her in airports and getting your mom involved and getting yourself into trouble.

In any marriage, there's always 2 options. Stay married or divorce. I don't see how your marriage can recover. So option 2 it is.

She doesn't need to claim abuse to stay. She has her green card, even if it hasn't arrived. When she entered the US, she got a stamp and that serves as a green card. She can divorce you tomorrow and still remove conditions on her own. You should be happy to get divorced, sever ties, and move on from a clearly bad situation.

Edited April 10, 2016 by Harmonia