LoveAlways2

Reading this made think of Larissa and Colt

Rule #1 in marriage: never make a drastic decision when you are angry.
 
i will say i dont know you or your situation, but if an argument has you wanting to revoke a visa that has already been issued, you have no business being married...

If you want to cancel a visa after one argument, that makes me question how committed you are to this relationship in the first place. I would certainly try to work things out first before cancelling. If you have a change of heart, you will have to go through the process and pay that money all over again.

If you're already living and working together, go for the CR-1 unless there is a specific reason you want to be in the USA ASAP. I'd only recommend the K-1 these days if speed was by far your #1 priority and/or the US citizen could easily financially support both. 
 
 

Fastest isn't always best.  I recommend doing lots of reading and research into this entire process for best results.

Get marry and file for the CR-1 spousal visa.  You get a green card immediately upon entering the US.  You can immediately work and travel internationally.
 
With the K-1, you will not be able to legally work for at least 6 months while waiting for your EAD.  You will also need to wait 6 months for AP in order to leave the US without abandoning the AOS process for a green card.
 
Consider the disadvantages of the K-1.

Good lord, that sounds shady and completely obnoxious on their part. I'm so sorry. Do you have, or can you obtain a state ID? Getting a state ID in MD at least, is a pretty straightforward process provided you've got the documentation. Surely they wouldn't reject that. Green card is a federally recognized document that proves who you are and there should be no reason they would reject it, except it seems out of ignorance and I should think you could complain to someone about this. The law is the law. They are discriminating and personally I wouldn't dare do business with them.

Just follow the path to US citizenship. Your Candian citizenship will be unaffected. The US will not recognize your Canadian citizenship afterwards, but you are not required to give it up.

OP I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope you heal soon and that you get the happiness you deserve. 
 
I went through cheating as well. My ex husband always had communication with other women from another country.  I caught him 3 times during our 3 year marriage, and when i did he would end those affairs, then after a couple of months he would start again, sometimes with a different woman. He used to do this with women from the city where his dad used to live. He lived there a few years too so he knew them but did not see them during our marriage.  I forgave him because I thought he was not really seeing them, and it was all text and messages. But every time he would do it again, until one day, while on vacation to this city, he left me in the home we were staying to go out with this friends, and he cheated on me this time physically with another woman. 
 
I didn't know, I just saw messages the next day but I did not read anything that let me know he actually met with this woman. When we came back I told him we needed couples counseling. He had to agree (I wanted couples therapy for a long time and he never agreed) but I told him straight away the things he needed to do, I told him even if he did every single one of the things we needed to do I couldn't assure him I was going to stay. In my mind I needed to try everything before leaving. He cheated in April, we went to therapy, there he confessed he slept with another woman, I left him by June. 
 
So it took time to make that decision (and it was the best decision I could have made) , it was hard, but I was clear that going through therapy and all that work wouldn't mean I stayed. Take your time, set  up your rules, go to couples therapy, and then make a decision. Just make sure that your decision is going to bring happiness to your life. I wish you the best! 

OP I am so sorry this happened to you. I hope you heal soon and that you get the happiness you deserve. 
 
I went through cheating as well. My ex husband always had communication with other women from another country.  I caught him 3 times during our 3 year marriage, and when i did he would end those affairs, then after a couple of months he would start again, sometimes with a different woman. He used to do this with women from the city where his dad used to live. He lived there a few years too so he knew them but did not see them during our marriage.  I forgave him because I thought he was not really seeing them, and it was all text and messages. But every time he would do it again, until one day, while on vacation to this city, he left me in the home we were staying to go out with this friends, and he cheated on me this time physically with another woman. 
 
I didn't know, I just saw messages the next day but I did not read anything that let me know he actually met with this woman. When we came back I told him we needed couples counseling. He had to agree (I wanted couples therapy for a long time and he never agreed) but I told him straight away the things he needed to do, I told him even if he did every single one of the things we needed to do I couldn't assure him I was going to stay. In my mind I needed to try everything before leaving. He cheated in April, we went to therapy, there he confessed he slept with another woman, I left him by June. 
 
So it took time to make that decision (and it was the best decision I could have made) , it was hard, but I was clear that going through therapy and all that work wouldn't mean I stayed. Take your time, set  up your rules, go to couples therapy, and then make a decision. Just make sure that your decision is going to bring happiness to your life. I wish you the best! 

Thank you! January 02, 2020 is the interview date! Bring it on 2020!!!

One sided-love is self destruction.He  is  cheating on you for  3 years, I believe he clearly showed you that he doesn’t love you and doesn’t respect you either.
 
My dear do not walk but run from a scumbag like him.

I'm not here either to tell you what to do, or not. These are very personal issues that depend SO much on the people involved -- you, him and the other woman. But I do know that sometimes a marriage is worth fighting for -- and sometimes it's not. For me, honesty and openness are the bedrock of marriage, as much as love is, and sometimes even more. There are days when you may not feel like you love your spouse as much as you should, but without honesty the love is hard to maintain. I have to say, an ongoing multiyear affair for me would be a dealbreaker, much more than a one night stand, or a brief fling that was firmly over when I found out about it. Something short-lived can be the kind of mistake that also shows that there is remorse and recognition that this is wrong. Just as an example, I recently found out a good friend is cheating on his wife. He is not willing to end the affair, and his wife is saying that counselling will fix everything. I don't think it will if two people want diametrically opposed things -- one wants a monogamous husband, and the other wants his wife and his girlfriend -- and neither is willing to budge.
 
When you find out things like this, it feels like your life is going to end -- the axis of the earth is off kilter, nothing looks right even though superficially to outsiders everything looks the same. My ex walked out on me and when he did, I felt like life never would be the same again. Actually, that was correct -- life is different now without him, but significantly better, because I chose to make it better. If -- if! -- you choose to move on, trust that you will live. Even if you don't, it's time to gather your team together -- friends and family, wherever they may be -- and lean on them as hard as you need. I couldn't have made it without mine. You deserve happiness -- and if this isn't what happiness looks like, you can find it elsewhere. ❤️ 

Yay!!! So happy for you! hopefully all goes well for all of us! 

Yay!!! So happy for you! hopefully all goes well for all of us! 

Oh wow oh wow!!! I think they heard your little piece of encouragement here for me! Just saw now that they scheduled me for interview!!!! No date yet, but woootwooot!!!! 

It may be because of the holidays coming up. I am optimistic your letter should be coming soon. They sent my letter on October 30, I filed at the beginning of July, so maybe by the end of November they will send your letter.

Had my oath ceremony today! My journey is over, or better say, off to a whole new start. 🇺🇸❤️ best of luck everyone! 🇺🇸❤️

I hope by GOD - she gets a good lawyer gets child support, spousal support and takes half your assets on her way back to china with your child in tow. You wife is not some pet you knock up and ship back to wherever she came from now that you have buyers remorse. 

I agree with the last post. Pregnancy hormones make a woman vulnerable and over-sensitive. Add to that immigration to a new country (cultural shock, maybe). Add to that a new marriage (the first year in every marriage is the hardest). Add to that an international union, different cultures, mentality, etc. 
OP, have a mercy on your new wife. Remember that she carries your baby. Think about the reasons of why you are together in the first place. Give your marriage a chance, go see a counselor, have a little get away with your wife, buy her a little present, a little gift, cook a dinner with candles, or take her out to a nice place, tell her how much you love her, respect her as a mother-to-be, understand how hard it is for her to go through this life transition, and that you believe in you two, in your marriage. Instead of crying and asking how to quit just be a man, take responsibility, do something positive and constructive to save your family, fight for it!
Good luck!
 
 

I was in a what I consider abuse relationship and I promised myself if I had gotten pregnant I would have left the US and he would have never even met his child. I would have not stayed but gone home and give birth in my country where he had no rights. Sad but true
 
You need to think about the consequences of everything. You withdraw your I-864, she leaves, most likely with your child. Once your baby is in China (if it is born there or taken there) you have lost it. Why do you want this?? 

You said this multiple times. You also said she is "vindictive" In reality, I have no idea what it means in your story. What you can do, and what your right to was covered. I-864 is "your" form, it is the only form in I-485 packet that bears your signature. You can withdraw it at any time for any reason right up the moment green card is issued, at which point it is locked in and can be no longer withdrawn. 
 
The rest is family matter. Remember though, this woman is here because of you. You petitioned for her. You fathered a child with her. And, based on your posts, I am really not sure how effectively you were communicating with her or understood what her needs and desires are. Remember these things that you do, they cannot be easily undone. There is no withdrawing withdrawals. So far I haven't seen or heard anything about what have you done to actually work on your marriage. Or hear what is your actual plan for the child that will be born in 2 months. 

My point was that as an immigrant who he brought here to marry, now facing possible deportation due to his change of heart AND possibly losing her baby, she apparently has no parental rights at all.  Pretty sad if true.

@Dantrolene As you can see you are getting conflicting advice/answers here. That is mostly because divorce is very state specific and most people will respond based on their own experiences or experiences of those close to them. 
 
Technically custody and support amounts CAN be changed. However it is not guaranteed to be changed and to make changes (unless both agree) will require going back to court and going through a long and potentially costly process to change in some cases. 
 
Also every state uses variations in terms when it comes to custody. There can be joint, shared, as well as sole and legal/physical. They all mean different things. Physical is where the child will actual be. Legal is who gets to decide things for the child in regards to medical and stuff. Sole means only one parent and joint means both. So you can have joint legal custody but she can have sole physical custody and you have visitation. Thats different then shared physical custody where you would shuffle the child between you both. 
 
Again with a huge distance between states it is unlikely you will get physical custody split between you. You will probably get visitation until you move back into their state, where you could then apply to modify the custody to a more equal time division. 
 
If you had to go to court for being charged with a crime you would definitely get an attny! So you definitely want an attny to go to court for custody issues. It can be DIY but it is not recommended esp if the other side is using an attny. You are not equipped to respond to what the attny throws out in legal arguments so you will lose. You also have to remember in custody and divorce each side is allowed to ask for ANYTHING they want. Just because something is asked for does not mean you have to agree to it. If both parties cant come to an agreement the judge will decide based on the facts presented. Again this is where an attny would be able to present your side with legal backing supporting it. If she also earns significantly more then you and you are at min wage and shes 6 figures you can also ask the court to have her pay your legal fees. Speak to an attny about this as well.
 
Divorce needs to be filed based on where you live. Some places require anywhere from 3-6 months residency before you file, others can be up to 1 year residency. So if you do not file before you move, she may file after you move or you would have to wait until you have residency in the new state to file there. You will want to check the divorce laws between the two states to see if one is better then the other however you cant stop her from filing in her state before you file in your new state. Custody would default to the state she is in with the child regardless if you leave or not as thats the childs home. 
 
While I understand all the comments about you reconsidering your job path/moving I think its important to keep the big picture in mind. Yes for the next 3 years you will have limited involvement in the childs daily life but it would be to ensure a better future for yourself and your child once the schooling is complete. Doing such will not be viewed negatively by a court, since its being done to better yourself. If you were moving to be with a girlfriend then yeah thats pretty lousy and will look neglectful, but thats not the case here. Ideally it would be great if you could find a similar opportunity near where the child is but sometimes thats just not possible. 
 
Keep in mind you cant write anything into the custody about whatever is issued being temporary. It will be written as if it is permanent and then you will have to go back and modify it when things change. It wont be written that for 3 years its like this and then you get to come back although you can make your intentions known now. 
 
 

I am chiming in although this isn't a divorce forum. The courts look at the child's well-being.
 
For one, the courts may question why someone would move so far away especially with a young child. The younger a child is, the more constant and predictable visitation ought to be. Hence, by moving that far away you are signalling priorities that are deviating from the well-being of your child. Which brings me to the mother: If the mother has been and continues to be the source of stability and constant care, she will likely receive sole custody.
 
As it stands, you may want to consider finding a job closer by, and supporting your wife (then ex-wife) in bringing up your child together. Perhaps help her out with watching your child while she is at work, or figure out a system in which you both work hand in hand but are no longer married. 
 
So far, I have missed that perspective in this ongoing debate. Your child is very young and Skype nor Facetime can not replace personal interaction. You are risking any kind of relationship with your kiddo.