Divorce during i751 Pending

[Rocio0010 5,573]

1 hour ago, Jorgedig said:

Self respect for women in the US starts with taking care of ourselves, protecting ourselves, and not tolerating being treated like this.   If you are unhappy, and it is not what you want, you must be proactive and make choices that will help you to become happy.  Sometimes we need to make choices for our own benefit, not for our family’s or society’s.   It’s YOUR life.

 

As far as US immigration goes, if you want to remain in the US with a 10 year GC, you only have two choices:  1) pursue a divorce, attend the interview and request a divorce waiver.   You will need to show the bonafides for your marriage, and evidence of a pending divorce or the final decree of dissolution.   If you do not yet have the decree, you will get an RFE and be able to submit it when you get it.

 

2) Reconcile with your spouse.   It would need to be genuine, and he would need to attend the interview.

 

Btw, your story sounds awfully familiar.   Have you posted before, under a different username?  I believe that thread got identical responses to this one…

That’s what I was just thinking. The name on the account was “ThatImmigrant”. I happen to have good memory

[SalishSea 16,930]

9 minutes ago, Rocio0010 said:

That’s what I was just thinking. The name on the account was “ThatImmigrant”. I happen to have good memory

And Timona reminded me that later it was changed to “Account Deleted.”   A trifecta of the same inquiry.

[Rocio0010 5,573]

Just now, Jorgedig said:

And Timona reminded me that later it was changed to “Account Deleted.”   A trifecta of the same inquiry.

I reminded Timona first. I win!!!

[Rocio0010 5,573]

2 hours ago, Journey22 said:

society is gonna blame me anyway!

Well, there, you said it: society is going to blame you anyways. So let them blame you for seeking your own happiness!

[laylalex 7,263]

OP, you live in America now. Culturally, it is acceptable to be divorced in America. If you are independently wealthy, and your husband wants nothing to do with you, getting divorced is the best way to protect your assets. 

 

Make a plan. TALK TO AN ATTORNEY. It may be that you don't need one for the entire divorce, but initial consultations might be an hour or two, and you might find out you can do this on your own. But as soon as significant assets are involved, an attorney is a must. You do not want to get shafted by your husband. If you have more money than he does, be prepared for him to come for it. You can bet he'll be ready with a lawyer. Do the same for yourself.

 

What others have said about women needing to look out for each other and themselves is true. Get your girlfriends, talk to them about what's going on. You need a squad now, especially if you think your family won't support you. Ask for help from people you trust -- every little helps as the saying goes. I thought divorce would be the end of me, and it really wasn't. It was the beginning of a new life where I'm learning to live for myself instead of staying stuck with someone who treated me with disrespect. My ex also cheated on me, and I was in deep, deep denial about it for years. You're a step ahead of where I was when he walked out on me and our marriage. 

 

My therapist said to me last year, if you don't have kids, you're not responsible for anyone else's life but your own. This is YOUR life. Other people will always be disappointed in you, but so what? Hold your head up high and live life responsibly for yourself. ❤️ 

[katana-dolphin 28]

6 hours ago, Journey22 said:

We don't have kids and I don't need money from him. He is not gonna give me anything anyway as he never gave me money he was responsible for as per our marriage terms religiously. Besides, I am financially independent. 

why should he give you money? is 2022

[katana-dolphin 28]

4 hours ago, Boiler said:

Removing conditions with a divorce waiver is very common and from what I have seen here is rarely an issue.

 

Divorce can be complicated, seems simpler when both parties are on board and just want it to happen as smoothly as possible.

I have a divorce waiver interview next week, should my lawyer come to the interview?

[African Zealot 1,453]

I think it’s time mods created a sticky post for divorce waiver. The steps are really boilerplate except for minor differences depending on state of residence.

 

We literally have several of this situation come up a month. 

[Allaboutwaiting 2,500]

17 minutes ago, katana-dolphin said:

I have a divorce waiver interview next week, should my lawyer come to the interview?

It is not necessary. Just bring all the evidence as you'll need to prove you entered your marriage in good faith. 

[katana-dolphin 28]

16 minutes ago, African Zealot said:

I think it’s time mods created a sticky post for divorce waiver. The steps are really boilerplate except for minor differences depending on state of residence.

 

We literally have several of this situation come up a month. 

can you link me some waiver interviews material please?

[Allaboutwaiting 2,500]

4 minutes ago, katana-dolphin said:

can you link me some waiver interviews material please?

Google "divorce waiver interview visajourney" and you'll find many threads on the matter.

[SalishSea 16,930]

47 minutes ago, katana-dolphin said:

I have a divorce waiver interview next week, should my lawyer come to the interview?

Please start your own thread.

[Chocobo 196]

12 hours ago, laylalex said:

OP, you live in America now. Culturally, it is acceptable to be divorced in America. If you are independently wealthy, and your husband wants nothing to do with you, getting divorced is the best way to protect your assets. 

 

Make a plan. TALK TO AN ATTORNEY. It may be that you don't need one for the entire divorce, but initial consultations might be an hour or two, and you might find out you can do this on your own. But as soon as significant assets are involved, an attorney is a must. You do not want to get shafted by your husband. If you have more money than he does, be prepared for him to come for it. You can bet he'll be ready with a lawyer. Do the same for yourself.

 

What others have said about women needing to look out for each other and themselves is true. Get your girlfriends, talk to them about what's going on. You need a squad now, especially if you think your family won't support you. Ask for help from people you trust -- every little helps as the saying goes. I thought divorce would be the end of me, and it really wasn't. It was the beginning of a new life where I'm learning to live for myself instead of staying stuck with someone who treated me with disrespect. My ex also cheated on me, and I was in deep, deep denial about it for years. You're a step ahead of where I was when he walked out on me and our marriage. 

 

My therapist said to me last year, if you don't have kids, you're not responsible for anyone else's life but your own. This is YOUR life. Other people will always be disappointed in you, but so what? Hold your head up high and live life responsibly for yourself. ❤️ 

^^^ All of this!  All!    

 

An initial consultation with an attorney should be free.  It likely would only be 30 - 60 minutes, but it can help.  As @laylalex said, if you have a significant amount of assets, you need to make sure that you speak with an attorney to ensure that you are protecting yourself.  Make sure you start to document what was yours PRIOR to the marriage.  Anything that was yours prior to the marriage remains yours (unless you put him on the deed to the house or something.)  It is entirely possible to do a divorce on your own, without a lawyer, but you will need to put in a lot of time to educate yourself on how to do it.  

 

Your husband does not have to agree to a divorce.  If you want one, you can go ahead and file and pursue it.  I'm not sure if it would help you to file for cause (cheating) or go with no fault.  Keep in mind that just because you can file for no fault (even if most people file for it), it does not necessarily mean that you cannot file for cause (cheating).  My state is a no fault state in that you absolutely CAN file with no fault, however, you can still file for other reasons.  If it may help you socially to file for cause, go that route or at least ask about it.  

 

Good luck!

[STO Overland 137]

14 hours ago, laylalex said:

if you don't have kids, you're not responsible for anyone else's life but your own. This is YOUR life. Other people will always be disappointed in you, but so what? Hold your head up high and live life responsibly for yourself

Something I shared with my daughter who is always wanting to be everyone’s best friend and gets anxious / worried whenever someone on her social media feed disses her. 

[Ontarkie 13,969]

~~THread locked as OP has closed her account~~